A Real Housewife of Orange County

I live in "The OC". I'm not bragging about that because it is downright embarrassing a lot of the time. Not only do I live in the OC, but I live in the vicinity of a neighborhood prominently featured on The Real Housewives of Orange County. (A much poorer adjacent neighborhood).  I don't watch the Bravo show, but I tried to the night it first aired.  Everyone for miles around was talking about it because we KNOW some of these people.  And we go to the same restaurants and drink margaritas at the same hang out.  I was so appalled after the first five minutes of the show that I have never watched again.  But  unfortunately I do know plenty of women LIKE those featured.  Rich, plastic, dysfunctional, etc.  Despite the fact that I encounter many of these people in my day to day life … I think really that I am much more a "real housewife of Orange County".  REAL – in the sense of never having had ANY plastic surgery, botox, collagen or other "enhancements".  (And it shows!)

I admit I don't LOOK nearly as good as all the surrounding females.  I honestly don't know if I am the ONLY forty something in the OC who has NOT had any "work done", but I think I might be.  I am not morally opposed to plastic surgery for people who really have something about themselves that they cannot stand.  You know, a nose that reaches to the other side of the room or something like that.  I have even voiced the opinion that I am in desperate need of an entire body lift … suck it up and tuck it up from the ankles up.  But I digress.  Where I live parents give their girls fake boobs in high school.  Yes, and not just boobs – they give their daughters fake boobs and RIB REMOVALS for high school graduation gifts.  Apparently having a few ribs removed with your new fake boobs makes you look more petite and the boobs even bigger.  And there are also parents who give their daughters fake fannies.  Yes, not just a fanny LIFT (as a teenager!) but also fannie IMPLANTS to make their butts look curvier and have just that perfect shape.  I know it is not very "OC" of me — but I have a hard time with all of this.  On many levels.

So what is life like for a REAL housewife of Orange County?  I don't live on an "estate", and I don't have live-in help.  I admit, we have hired a housecleaner this last year due to my car accident and the resulting multiple surgeries.  They come once a week and change sheets since I can't do that with one working arm.  It was 100 degrees here this weekend and I held out as long as I could on turning on the air conditioning because electricity in Southern California is now about the same price as gold.  The A/C finally went on when my boys started to look faint at 10 p.m. on Saturday night and the indoor house temp was still at 90.  Briefcase is on an extended business trip to Europe leaving me to manage everything on my own.  This is the norm in my life – Briefcase travels often.  Post shoulder reconstruction I LOOK normal … but it takes me an inordinate amount of time to do ANYTHING with just my left/uncoordinated hand.  That meant that this REAL housewife of OC spent all weekend just trying to get the laundry done, the house picked up (just enough so no one would stub their toes on the clutter!) and running PR to baseball practice and games.  I did manage to sneak in an hour to myself for a 4 mile walk.  Not very exciting, I know.  But that's the closest thing to a butt lift as I'll be getting!   

3 Responses to “A Real Housewife of Orange County”

  1. Kristan Hoffman

    OMG RIB REMOVAL?
    [sigh]
    I’m glad to know there’s someone there with some sense.
    Also, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hired help. Provides respectable jobs and helps out tired homemakers. I know I want help someday!

  2. Kristan Hoffman

    OMG RIB REMOVAL?
    [sigh]
    I’m glad to know there’s someone there with some sense.
    Also, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hired help. Provides respectable jobs and helps out tired homemakers. I know I want help someday!

  3. Kristan Hoffman

    OMG RIB REMOVAL?
    [sigh]
    I’m glad to know there’s someone there with some sense.
    Also, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hired help. Provides respectable jobs and helps out tired homemakers. I know I want help someday!

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