Despite the fact that I am married and forty-something I still have a (very slight) awareness of the men I encounter in my day to day life. After all, I am not yet dead. And lately a situation has arisen that has made me uncomfortably aware that the men I know … are getting sorta old! Not that I am getting old mind you, but that THEY are. As my blog name testifies, I am still twenty four at heart. And I mean that. I THINK I am still twenty four. My brain has never really accepted any birthdays after the age of twenty four. And when I am asked my age I SAY that I am twenty four. Until the listener does something rude like laugh and then I realize that I have to try and remember how old I REALLY am. Sadly, it has become harder and harder to remember!
Well, not long ago a new man entered my life. His name is FRED. And I see FRED as another indication that I must be having a mid-life crisis. Now before you get alarmed for my husband, Briefcase, let me tell you that hubby has NOTHING to worry about. FRED entered my life as a result of a recent surgery I went through. (Still trying to put me back together from a car accident awhile back.) FRED showed up in my life as a harmless, short, slightly puffy old man. And FRED and I should have had one or two encounters and gone our separate ways. BUT THERE IS NO GETTTING RID OF FRED!! FRED has a crush. And FRED keeps popping up everywhere I go. And I do mean – everywhere! FRED thinks he still has "it". FRED is harmless and I know that. But FRED has been on my mind a lot because FRED is old. And FRED is attracted to ME. And I am NOT old … am I?
To be fair, my whole life I have attracted men like FRED. Maybe not quite as old as FRED. But men like FRED … I attract them like flies and always have. Don’t ask me why – I don’t think I even WANT to know the answer to that question. But the hot guys … where are they? Where have all the hot guys gone? There used to be at least a few of those mixed in with all the FREDs. And now, maybe because of FRED … because FRED is
stalking attracted to me, all of a sudden I am looking around at the men I encounter each day. And let’s be honest … they aren’t looking so good. They are losing their hair, they are graying, they are … a little soft. That got me to thinking – there must be some hot guys out there SOMEWHERE?
Now I find myself going through each day and making mental notes of the men I encounter. A lot of them are FREDs. More of them are POTENTIAL FREDs … well on their way to becoming FRED. Once in awhile I will be somewhere and have a moment of surprise, "There’s a hot one!" And then sadly, I will realize it is one of my daughter’s college friends or something disheartening like that. Mind you, it is not that I am AFTER a hot man … just wondering where they all have gone to?