I don't live in a normal town. I am very aware of that, and I pity the people who live in this area but don't have the same realization. It is a microcosm of the rich and the spoiled and the very self-absorbed. Narcissistic and overly competitive behavior is the norm. Of course, there are also some very nice people here and some of those very nice people are rich and some of them are not.
I live adjacent to a neighborhood I will call Money Town. For the most part things are just not sane here. Kids get Beemers on their 16th birthday; sixth grade girls have highlights in their hair and kindergartners carry cell phones. I don't think most of America lives like this and that's a good thing.
Many years ago Briefcase and I contemplated moving a block or two over to Money Town. We decided against it not for monetary reasons (although there IS that!), but primarily because we were concerned about how it would affect our kids socially. There are many great stories regarding Money Town and I will share some of them with you once in awhile. The Money Town stories will give you a smug sense of satisfaction about being happier than a bunch of crazy rich folks. We all like to feel smug sometimes, right?
Money Town is probably best known as the neighborhood featured on The Real Housewives of Orange County. My understanding is that the show has now branched out to include other affluent neighborhoods, but Money Town is where it all got started. Last weekend I was reading our local neighborhood paper when I saw this:
The ad states that the casting call is an attempt to find "real women with real lives". Well, as of my last gyn appointment, I qualify as a real woman and I certainly have a real life. It goes on to declare that the women should live in a "luxurious environment". Hmmm … is this luxurious? (Yes, that's my laundry room and I'm working on it, okay?)
I really like the next paragraph of the casting call ad. It states, "We are seeking outgoing, exciting, strong, focused women who reside in South Orange County and want to share their lives with us. We are looking for families with tweens and teenagers living at home." Ooh Baby! Are they talking about me or what? To any of you who are living in North Orange County, well that's just too damned bad. Everyone knows all the truly neurotic women (which make for better TV) live in South County. I can do the neurotic thing, really I can!
It is quite a wordy ad. I guess they are trying to avoid any confusion and don't want to deal with unqualified women showing up for the casting call. (Remember, only real women need apply!) It goes on to say that they are reaching out to women who are "energetic, with defined opinions and views". Wasn't I just telling you about my political battles with Briefcase? Is that not "made for TV" drama? I have defined opinions … yes, I do! It's as if they are out there searching for me. I'm right here Mr. Producer!!
Here are a few more qualities they are searching for in their housewives: lively, energetic, busy, self-confident, happy, involved in the community, socially active, and enjoying "the good life". Whew! That's quite a list! I think I am all those things though … I think it's a match!
Oh yes, they forget to mention that you also have to be willing to let your teen be humiliated on national television. Humiliating yourself and your spouse is not good enough. Your teen can't go through all those normal (insane) teenage issues with just your own family looking on. You need to publicize them so every kid at school can laugh at them. Also, so people all across the country can judge them. The ad specifically requests families with teens. Teens bring all sorts of messy, dysfunctional issues to the table. But hey, that's no big deal, right? Most of the kids in Money Town have shrinks anyway.