What I want to know is who invented the bikini wax? Was it a man? Or maybe one day a woman named Ms. Masochist thought to herself, "Hey, I'll light a candle and just sit here and let the hot wax drip all over the most private and sensitive parts of my body"? Because that sounds like a good idea? Because I think that it would feel fantastic to have burning, hot as hell, wax there?
Then, because that wasn't torturous enough by itself, Ms. Masochist thought to herself, what's next? She decided to stick pieces of cloth into the hot wax. Isn't that what you would do if you were hanging out with hot wax all over your hootch? Start sticking pieces of cloth into the wax while you are screaming in pain from the burn the wax is causing? "Hmmm … this hurts like hell, maybe I'll just put strips of fabric on my hootch … just because."
Ms. Masochist did not stop there! Hot wax on the hootch? What's a little hot wax with pieces of cloth stuck in it? She decided to wait for the wax to cool and harden like glue onto her body, because that's a real comfortable feeling. Like shoving a two by four between your legs. So OK, then. Ms. Masochist was having a damn good time.
What next? Why not just rip those motherfucker cloth pieces right off? Yeah, that's right. Take the cloth, the wax, the hair, and a layer of Ms. Masochist's skin right off all with one big scream! But wait, one scream won't do it. Let's do this over and over again until she's nearly in tears. There! That's much better. The bikini wax was born! Ms. Masochist maybe couldn't walk, but the hootch? Well, it looked terrific (once the redness, swelling, and skin tears healed)! Women have followed Ms. Masochist's lead ever since.
And what did you do last weekend?