How nice would it be if we could solve all the male/female communication problems right here on Twenty Four At Heart? Or maybe just minimize the gender gap somewhat? Earlier this week I opened a can of worms when I discussed (here and here) an article I read which stated men read sex into the majority of female communication.
The posts brought forth a lot of emotion and a lot of varying opinions. Some of it was funny, some of it was angry, and some of it was heartfelt. Every comment and every email I received made it very clear to me that the sexes are miles apart in many ways. I hate to speak in generalities, but in a blog forum, I have to. Individually you and I could sit down and discuss particulars, but I am not able to do that here. That's disclaimer number one.
Disclaimer number two is that I have always had a fair number of male friends. I attribute it to growing up in a neighborhood with a lot of boys and very few girls. I relate well to men. That being said, I have many platonic male friends even now. If I'm misguided in regard to those friendships (and I don't believe I am), I'd rather stay oblivious and continue viewing them in the light I currently do.
Disclaimer number three: To my male readers … I am quite sure that you are all wonderful partners to your significant others. None of the generalities about men in these gender gap posts are pointed at you specifically, so please don't get defensive. I am quite sure you court your loved one with sweet words and tender touches and that none of this applies to you whatsoever.
OK, have I covered my ass now?
To the female reader who asked me why men like blow jobs? I am not a man, so I can't speak for men. If I had to hypothesize, I would say because it feels good. Just a wild guess.
Regarding the question about butt cracks possibly interfering with the style/look of your dress when you go commando, I refer you back to my response in the comment section of yesterday's post.
To all men everywhere? There was a recurring theme in the feedback I got from women. We hate to be groped. Hate it. I'm sure you never do this, so please tell all your male friends who may not be as enlightened as you are. When we are standing in the kitchen slaving over lovingly preparing a meal for you, don't walk by and squeeze our ass so hard we jump in the air. Also, we aren't cows and don't get turned on in the least when you can't resist reaching out and squeezing our tits hard enough to milk us.
Not that Briefcase has ever done anything of the sort. Ahem ….
Men? What is it with the groping? Is it a turn on for you? Or do you mistakenly think you are turning us on? (You're not, I guarantee it!) It reminds us of 6th grade when 12 year old boys would sit in a corner pointing and exclaiming, "Look, boobies!" and then try to cop a feel as we walked by. The groping needs to cease and desist. It's in your best interest, I promise.
Willy wagging. Just.Stop.It. Shaking it at us? It's not a turn on. You may find it highly amusing to touch your junk, shake it around and chase us around the house. It does not increase our libido, okay? Not in the least.
The crude comment. If I say I'm thirsty, and you reply with a smirk, "Oh I can give you something to drink." Do you think I will reply, "Great idea, thanks!?" Is that what men perceive as foreplay? Do you think I instantly appreciate the suggestion to quench my thirst and get all excited thinking about it? Because, if so? You're mistaken. I received lots and lots of comments from women regarding their frustration with the crude comment. By the way, a little dirty talk at the right time is not the same thing. Two different entities.
Groping, willy wagging, and the crude comment are all aspects of male behavior that women would like to see disappear. If you are a man and you want to leave a comment and tell me how your wife/girlfriend gets turned on when you say something crude to her out in public, wag your willy at her at the dinner table, and then honk her tit as she walks by, then fine. There are exceptions to every rule. But my guess is that you just think she gets turned on by it.
Women stated repeatedly they don't get nonsexual affection from their significant other. "Why can't he give me a hug without turning it into a grope?" was a recurring theme. Holding hands, hugging, touching without sex, was high on my female reader's wish list. Nonsexual physical contact seems to be something women crave, but don't get.
Now that we've talked about a few things women don't like, I'd like to hear from my readers what they do like. What does foreplay mean to you? I'd like to hear from both men and women. What gets you in the mood? What would you like to see your significant other do? What makes you feel romantic?