Losing a Friend?

The last two years have been a huge transition for me with my friends.  Since my car accident I have lost friendships with many people I felt close to two years ago.  People don't always rise to the occasion when faced with friends dealing with adversity.  A lot of people run away as fast as they can.  Even people you love dearly.  It was a surprising fact which hurt me immensely following my accident. 

I look at the friends I have now differently.  I value them more.  I look deeper for true character instead of being content with superficial charm.  If that means fewer friends, but truer friends, I can accept it.  I know the people who stood by me the last few years, and in turn, I would do anything for them.  Anything. 

The others?  Not so much.

This week, I may have lost a friend I've had for several years.  It makes me sad because I genuinely care about this person.  This is a friend I've confided in and looked to for advice for many years.  Someone I've respected and trusted.  Someone I've counted on without ever realizing I counted on her quite so much.  Someone I thought, it turns out incorrectly, I could share just about anything with.  (And for my regular readers, no it's not Nike.) 

I told this person about something that happened to me when I was very young.  Something I've not felt comfortable sharing with many people in my life.  It was not about something I did, but rather about something that happened in my life.  I didn't feel like it was as major of a disclosure as perhaps it was.  It was so many years ago, it feels like a part of someone else's life now, not mine.  

My friend informed me she was left feeling uncomfortable and wished I hadn't told her.  I was embarrassed.  Who wants to make a friend feel uncomfortable?  Also, who wants to put themselves out there with a disclosure and be rejected?  It's a risk to share some things; it takes courage to bare your soul. 

After she informed me of how she felt, we both felt uncomfortable.  Strained.  Awkward. 

I hadn't anticipated her reaction.  Obviously, I wouldn't have shared the information if I had. 

I apologized.

My apology was followed by … a dose of more uncomfortable and awkward.  For both of us.       

I can't erase the fact that the subject was brought up.  I took a risk, without realizing it was a risk, and it fell flat.  I've either lost the friendship or, at the very least, I've lost a dimension of the friendship. 

I also know that I will never have the courage to bring that particular topic up with anyone again.  No matter how many years go by. 

Do you have a friendship you mourn the loss of?  What happened and why?  Or maybe you have a story of a friendship that was reconciled?  I'm feeling sad today.  Make me feel better – share your story in the comments section.

Tomorrow I will publish a selection of the very (!) funny names you submitted. 

 

42 Responses to “Losing a Friend?”

  1. Helena

    Around 12 years ago one of my best friends (or so I thought) had a baby. After a year or so she stopped all contact with me. When I asked her why she said told me that since I don’t have children we no longer had things in common. But what about everything we had shared prior to her having her child? And everything else that could have been shared had she not been so narrow-minded.

  2. Helena

    Around 12 years ago one of my best friends (or so I thought) had a baby. After a year or so she stopped all contact with me. When I asked her why she said told me that since I don’t have children we no longer had things in common. But what about everything we had shared prior to her having her child? And everything else that could have been shared had she not been so narrow-minded.

  3. Helena

    Around 12 years ago one of my best friends (or so I thought) had a baby. After a year or so she stopped all contact with me. When I asked her why she said told me that since I don’t have children we no longer had things in common. But what about everything we had shared prior to her having her child? And everything else that could have been shared had she not been so narrow-minded.

  4. Joanne

    during my illness, which was obviously debilitating, I had to continue to work, (I am a hairstylist) Some days were pretty good, some days were pretty bad. I did the best I could. I am privleged to have a very loyal , long term clientele, I am talking up to 20+ years for many. However, I knew that my “journey” to health would have a price.
    I love and respect my clientele, and I knew I would be putting myself on the line, but what choice did I have? None.
    Yep, I lost a good many. They could not take the effort I had to make to do something as simple as cut hair, that I had breezed through before “my illness”
    To my greatest surprise I lost a few who worked for a hospital. People I thought would be the MOST compassionate, and give me the support of simply standing by me. Nope, gone like they cared not a whit for me. I was suprised. To the clients who made that long and painful journey with me… They also got to share my victory and the beginning of my new life, for which I am glad to be a newly humbled, and grateful person. One who knows the meaning of thankfulness,friendship, adversity, and the enormous strength of the human will.
    PS. If you know someone who is brave enough to submit to the Alpha-Interfuron treatment for Hepatitus C, give them a hug, tell them you will pray for them or keep them in your thoughts, or just be kind. it is a battle they CHOSE to fight, and baby it’s a tough one

  5. Joanne

    during my illness, which was obviously debilitating, I had to continue to work, (I am a hairstylist) Some days were pretty good, some days were pretty bad. I did the best I could. I am privleged to have a very loyal , long term clientele, I am talking up to 20+ years for many. However, I knew that my “journey” to health would have a price.
    I love and respect my clientele, and I knew I would be putting myself on the line, but what choice did I have? None.
    Yep, I lost a good many. They could not take the effort I had to make to do something as simple as cut hair, that I had breezed through before “my illness”
    To my greatest surprise I lost a few who worked for a hospital. People I thought would be the MOST compassionate, and give me the support of simply standing by me. Nope, gone like they cared not a whit for me. I was suprised. To the clients who made that long and painful journey with me… They also got to share my victory and the beginning of my new life, for which I am glad to be a newly humbled, and grateful person. One who knows the meaning of thankfulness,friendship, adversity, and the enormous strength of the human will.
    PS. If you know someone who is brave enough to submit to the Alpha-Interfuron treatment for Hepatitus C, give them a hug, tell them you will pray for them or keep them in your thoughts, or just be kind. it is a battle they CHOSE to fight, and baby it’s a tough one

  6. Joanne

    during my illness, which was obviously debilitating, I had to continue to work, (I am a hairstylist) Some days were pretty good, some days were pretty bad. I did the best I could. I am privleged to have a very loyal , long term clientele, I am talking up to 20+ years for many. However, I knew that my “journey” to health would have a price.
    I love and respect my clientele, and I knew I would be putting myself on the line, but what choice did I have? None.
    Yep, I lost a good many. They could not take the effort I had to make to do something as simple as cut hair, that I had breezed through before “my illness”
    To my greatest surprise I lost a few who worked for a hospital. People I thought would be the MOST compassionate, and give me the support of simply standing by me. Nope, gone like they cared not a whit for me. I was suprised. To the clients who made that long and painful journey with me… They also got to share my victory and the beginning of my new life, for which I am glad to be a newly humbled, and grateful person. One who knows the meaning of thankfulness,friendship, adversity, and the enormous strength of the human will.
    PS. If you know someone who is brave enough to submit to the Alpha-Interfuron treatment for Hepatitus C, give them a hug, tell them you will pray for them or keep them in your thoughts, or just be kind. it is a battle they CHOSE to fight, and baby it’s a tough one

  7. Jan

    Oh, yes, and it’s a friendship I mourn deeply.
    I have a friend I’ve been close to since my junior year in high school. He’s godfather to my kids, and one of the few people that stood by me during my divorce (my divorce – which was my choice and not my husband’s – affected my “friends” the way your accident affected many of your “friends”; I felt like I’d suddenly become a leper).
    My friend suffers from depression and OCD and has a very difficult time developing and maintaining meaningful relationships, but if you can set aside those things and/or deal with them (and I do, gladly) he’s a wonderful, warm, funny and just overall great guy who will bend over backward for the few people he cares deeply about.
    He’s also gay, and because he has a difficult time with relationships, most of his, shall we say, “romantic” relationships have been very superficial and he has been hurt very badly, both emotionally and physically. As a result of this, he has recently turned to his Catholic religion for comfort. I have no problem with this, but as time goes by he is becoming increasingly…I hate to use the word “fanatical” but I can’t think of any other word that suits.
    Don’t get me wrong – he doesn’t proselytize me (he knows damn well it wouldn’t do any good), but he has joined a support group of gay men who are being “counseled” by a priest and have committed to being celibate because gay sex is wrong in the eyes of the church. He is now outspoken against gay marriage. Once pro-choice, he’s now adamantly anti-abortion (you can’t even call it “pro-life”).
    The most disturbing thing is, though, that he seems to believe God is going to “fix” him and make him, if not straight, at least “not gay” anymore.
    I am supportive of his new lifestyle, but it’s driven a wedge between us because our basic beliefs have become so polar. We will always be friends, but we are drifting more apart all the time and may never recapture the closeness we shared for so many years.

  8. Jan

    Oh, yes, and it’s a friendship I mourn deeply.
    I have a friend I’ve been close to since my junior year in high school. He’s godfather to my kids, and one of the few people that stood by me during my divorce (my divorce – which was my choice and not my husband’s – affected my “friends” the way your accident affected many of your “friends”; I felt like I’d suddenly become a leper).
    My friend suffers from depression and OCD and has a very difficult time developing and maintaining meaningful relationships, but if you can set aside those things and/or deal with them (and I do, gladly) he’s a wonderful, warm, funny and just overall great guy who will bend over backward for the few people he cares deeply about.
    He’s also gay, and because he has a difficult time with relationships, most of his, shall we say, “romantic” relationships have been very superficial and he has been hurt very badly, both emotionally and physically. As a result of this, he has recently turned to his Catholic religion for comfort. I have no problem with this, but as time goes by he is becoming increasingly…I hate to use the word “fanatical” but I can’t think of any other word that suits.
    Don’t get me wrong – he doesn’t proselytize me (he knows damn well it wouldn’t do any good), but he has joined a support group of gay men who are being “counseled” by a priest and have committed to being celibate because gay sex is wrong in the eyes of the church. He is now outspoken against gay marriage. Once pro-choice, he’s now adamantly anti-abortion (you can’t even call it “pro-life”).
    The most disturbing thing is, though, that he seems to believe God is going to “fix” him and make him, if not straight, at least “not gay” anymore.
    I am supportive of his new lifestyle, but it’s driven a wedge between us because our basic beliefs have become so polar. We will always be friends, but we are drifting more apart all the time and may never recapture the closeness we shared for so many years.

  9. Jan

    Oh, yes, and it’s a friendship I mourn deeply.
    I have a friend I’ve been close to since my junior year in high school. He’s godfather to my kids, and one of the few people that stood by me during my divorce (my divorce – which was my choice and not my husband’s – affected my “friends” the way your accident affected many of your “friends”; I felt like I’d suddenly become a leper).
    My friend suffers from depression and OCD and has a very difficult time developing and maintaining meaningful relationships, but if you can set aside those things and/or deal with them (and I do, gladly) he’s a wonderful, warm, funny and just overall great guy who will bend over backward for the few people he cares deeply about.
    He’s also gay, and because he has a difficult time with relationships, most of his, shall we say, “romantic” relationships have been very superficial and he has been hurt very badly, both emotionally and physically. As a result of this, he has recently turned to his Catholic religion for comfort. I have no problem with this, but as time goes by he is becoming increasingly…I hate to use the word “fanatical” but I can’t think of any other word that suits.
    Don’t get me wrong – he doesn’t proselytize me (he knows damn well it wouldn’t do any good), but he has joined a support group of gay men who are being “counseled” by a priest and have committed to being celibate because gay sex is wrong in the eyes of the church. He is now outspoken against gay marriage. Once pro-choice, he’s now adamantly anti-abortion (you can’t even call it “pro-life”).
    The most disturbing thing is, though, that he seems to believe God is going to “fix” him and make him, if not straight, at least “not gay” anymore.
    I am supportive of his new lifestyle, but it’s driven a wedge between us because our basic beliefs have become so polar. We will always be friends, but we are drifting more apart all the time and may never recapture the closeness we shared for so many years.

  10. Lori

    I am so sorry for your sadness and I am sorry that this friend responded in this way to your sharing something from your heart. You thought it was safe to share and really it should have been, if she really was a true unconditional friend. Is it possbile that you touched upon something hidden in her own heart and that your sharing opened up her hidden wounds?
    Your post really touched me in the sense that I have dealt with this issue of losing friends for many years. When I chose to get off drugs, I lost every friend I had. If I wasn’t going to get high with them or sell them drugs they wanted nothing to do with me.
    When I chose to stay married to my husband I lost not only friends but family as well. When I finally divorced him years later, I gained most of these people back into my life…while at the same time, I lost present day friends because of getting a divorce.
    When my 16 year old daughter got pregnant I lost more friends…mostly my so called church friends who called themselves christians.
    When I went through my assault and the recovery process that took over 2 years, I lost even more friends.
    When my 18 year old daughter was raped while away at college, there were friends that just couldn’t deal with it. What the fuck?
    Now, looking back I realize, these were just “tests” that weeded out the people that really weren’t my friends. These same people that I was there for could not return the favor. As painful as it is to “lose” friends, I have come to believe that I don’t need conditional friends. I don’t need people that I have to perform for or be a certain way to be with. I don’t need people that are going to judge me because damn it I already do enough of that for myself already. These kinds of people are toxic to our lives and now I am glad that they are not in my life. Sometimes I miss these people but then I remind myself of the truth and then I don’t anymore!
    The thing is you should be able to share anything…it doesn’t matter if it is something horrible that you did or something that was done to you and be recieved with open arms. It breaks my heart that she has destroyed your desire to be open about something in your life that you could benifit with much healing by the act of sharing it with another human being.
    Sending you hugs((((((HUGS)))))))
    from across the internet land!

  11. Lori

    I am so sorry for your sadness and I am sorry that this friend responded in this way to your sharing something from your heart. You thought it was safe to share and really it should have been, if she really was a true unconditional friend. Is it possbile that you touched upon something hidden in her own heart and that your sharing opened up her hidden wounds?
    Your post really touched me in the sense that I have dealt with this issue of losing friends for many years. When I chose to get off drugs, I lost every friend I had. If I wasn’t going to get high with them or sell them drugs they wanted nothing to do with me.
    When I chose to stay married to my husband I lost not only friends but family as well. When I finally divorced him years later, I gained most of these people back into my life…while at the same time, I lost present day friends because of getting a divorce.
    When my 16 year old daughter got pregnant I lost more friends…mostly my so called church friends who called themselves christians.
    When I went through my assault and the recovery process that took over 2 years, I lost even more friends.
    When my 18 year old daughter was raped while away at college, there were friends that just couldn’t deal with it. What the fuck?
    Now, looking back I realize, these were just “tests” that weeded out the people that really weren’t my friends. These same people that I was there for could not return the favor. As painful as it is to “lose” friends, I have come to believe that I don’t need conditional friends. I don’t need people that I have to perform for or be a certain way to be with. I don’t need people that are going to judge me because damn it I already do enough of that for myself already. These kinds of people are toxic to our lives and now I am glad that they are not in my life. Sometimes I miss these people but then I remind myself of the truth and then I don’t anymore!
    The thing is you should be able to share anything…it doesn’t matter if it is something horrible that you did or something that was done to you and be recieved with open arms. It breaks my heart that she has destroyed your desire to be open about something in your life that you could benifit with much healing by the act of sharing it with another human being.
    Sending you hugs((((((HUGS)))))))
    from across the internet land!

  12. Lori

    I am so sorry for your sadness and I am sorry that this friend responded in this way to your sharing something from your heart. You thought it was safe to share and really it should have been, if she really was a true unconditional friend. Is it possbile that you touched upon something hidden in her own heart and that your sharing opened up her hidden wounds?
    Your post really touched me in the sense that I have dealt with this issue of losing friends for many years. When I chose to get off drugs, I lost every friend I had. If I wasn’t going to get high with them or sell them drugs they wanted nothing to do with me.
    When I chose to stay married to my husband I lost not only friends but family as well. When I finally divorced him years later, I gained most of these people back into my life…while at the same time, I lost present day friends because of getting a divorce.
    When my 16 year old daughter got pregnant I lost more friends…mostly my so called church friends who called themselves christians.
    When I went through my assault and the recovery process that took over 2 years, I lost even more friends.
    When my 18 year old daughter was raped while away at college, there were friends that just couldn’t deal with it. What the fuck?
    Now, looking back I realize, these were just “tests” that weeded out the people that really weren’t my friends. These same people that I was there for could not return the favor. As painful as it is to “lose” friends, I have come to believe that I don’t need conditional friends. I don’t need people that I have to perform for or be a certain way to be with. I don’t need people that are going to judge me because damn it I already do enough of that for myself already. These kinds of people are toxic to our lives and now I am glad that they are not in my life. Sometimes I miss these people but then I remind myself of the truth and then I don’t anymore!
    The thing is you should be able to share anything…it doesn’t matter if it is something horrible that you did or something that was done to you and be recieved with open arms. It breaks my heart that she has destroyed your desire to be open about something in your life that you could benifit with much healing by the act of sharing it with another human being.
    Sending you hugs((((((HUGS)))))))
    from across the internet land!

  13. Donna in VA

    Awh honey, I’m sorry that happened to you. And I’m a newbie here.
    But yes – I sadly just lost a dear dear friend who I had thought of as my BEST friend of 15 years because I made the mistake of thinking that we were close enough for me to voice my opinion about something that was affecting both his family and mine. Apparently I was not. He dropped our 15 year friendship like a bad habit.
    On the up note though, I was just recently contacted by a dear friend from high school who I had lost touch with several years back. Google is a wonderful thing.
    You win some, you lose some.
    I hope you cheer up soon. I know it hurts.

  14. Donna in VA

    Awh honey, I’m sorry that happened to you. And I’m a newbie here.
    But yes – I sadly just lost a dear dear friend who I had thought of as my BEST friend of 15 years because I made the mistake of thinking that we were close enough for me to voice my opinion about something that was affecting both his family and mine. Apparently I was not. He dropped our 15 year friendship like a bad habit.
    On the up note though, I was just recently contacted by a dear friend from high school who I had lost touch with several years back. Google is a wonderful thing.
    You win some, you lose some.
    I hope you cheer up soon. I know it hurts.

  15. Donna in VA

    Awh honey, I’m sorry that happened to you. And I’m a newbie here.
    But yes – I sadly just lost a dear dear friend who I had thought of as my BEST friend of 15 years because I made the mistake of thinking that we were close enough for me to voice my opinion about something that was affecting both his family and mine. Apparently I was not. He dropped our 15 year friendship like a bad habit.
    On the up note though, I was just recently contacted by a dear friend from high school who I had lost touch with several years back. Google is a wonderful thing.
    You win some, you lose some.
    I hope you cheer up soon. I know it hurts.

  16. alntv

    Although I pretty much wear my emotions on my sleeve, I don’t have any stories that can be miscontstrued or misinterpreted, so I don’t know how you are feeling. However I do know this…I don’t know your story, however a TRUE friend would be able to sift through whatever they are feeling and just listen to what you have to say. Uncomfortable or not…that’s what a true friend would do. I’m just sayin’…

  17. alntv

    Although I pretty much wear my emotions on my sleeve, I don’t have any stories that can be miscontstrued or misinterpreted, so I don’t know how you are feeling. However I do know this…I don’t know your story, however a TRUE friend would be able to sift through whatever they are feeling and just listen to what you have to say. Uncomfortable or not…that’s what a true friend would do. I’m just sayin’…

  18. alntv

    Although I pretty much wear my emotions on my sleeve, I don’t have any stories that can be miscontstrued or misinterpreted, so I don’t know how you are feeling. However I do know this…I don’t know your story, however a TRUE friend would be able to sift through whatever they are feeling and just listen to what you have to say. Uncomfortable or not…that’s what a true friend would do. I’m just sayin’…

  19. jill prettyman

    After loosing my daughter, I was amazed how friends reacted, Our best friends have been there every step of the way, just sitting there with us realizing that nothing needed to be said, just sitting there was enough. But so many others just didn’t know how to react around us, and they faded further and further away, many people who were very much apart of our lives, we never see any more, Its sad, they didn’t have to know what to say, they just needed to sit there with us.

  20. jill prettyman

    After loosing my daughter, I was amazed how friends reacted, Our best friends have been there every step of the way, just sitting there with us realizing that nothing needed to be said, just sitting there was enough. But so many others just didn’t know how to react around us, and they faded further and further away, many people who were very much apart of our lives, we never see any more, Its sad, they didn’t have to know what to say, they just needed to sit there with us.

  21. jill prettyman

    After loosing my daughter, I was amazed how friends reacted, Our best friends have been there every step of the way, just sitting there with us realizing that nothing needed to be said, just sitting there was enough. But so many others just didn’t know how to react around us, and they faded further and further away, many people who were very much apart of our lives, we never see any more, Its sad, they didn’t have to know what to say, they just needed to sit there with us.

  22. Renee

    WOW, I am amazed at “friends” reactions to truth. I had a friend who I truly thought was a “Very close” if not a “Best Buddy”, the trouble started when she started to date my younger brother who is a habitual liar. We were still friends while they dated but little things that never really happened were being said to have happened. To make a long story short after my brother stole
    ALL/ not a little but ALL of my mothers money she broke up with him, WHAT THE F***, she said I was naive, come on. Now that “Good friend” of mine has nothing to do with me. There is alot more to the story than that but she pretty much believed everything he said and nothing I did. What a great friend. You know at first I was truly hurt by that, then I had to get over it. You are not the only one with friends that don’t even know how to be a friend.

  23. Renee

    WOW, I am amazed at “friends” reactions to truth. I had a friend who I truly thought was a “Very close” if not a “Best Buddy”, the trouble started when she started to date my younger brother who is a habitual liar. We were still friends while they dated but little things that never really happened were being said to have happened. To make a long story short after my brother stole
    ALL/ not a little but ALL of my mothers money she broke up with him, WHAT THE F***, she said I was naive, come on. Now that “Good friend” of mine has nothing to do with me. There is alot more to the story than that but she pretty much believed everything he said and nothing I did. What a great friend. You know at first I was truly hurt by that, then I had to get over it. You are not the only one with friends that don’t even know how to be a friend.

  24. Renee

    WOW, I am amazed at “friends” reactions to truth. I had a friend who I truly thought was a “Very close” if not a “Best Buddy”, the trouble started when she started to date my younger brother who is a habitual liar. We were still friends while they dated but little things that never really happened were being said to have happened. To make a long story short after my brother stole
    ALL/ not a little but ALL of my mothers money she broke up with him, WHAT THE F***, she said I was naive, come on. Now that “Good friend” of mine has nothing to do with me. There is alot more to the story than that but she pretty much believed everything he said and nothing I did. What a great friend. You know at first I was truly hurt by that, then I had to get over it. You are not the only one with friends that don’t even know how to be a friend.

  25. Linda

    Look at all the friends you have here!!!
    This has made me think. How good a friend am I? What would I do/say or how would I react if/when someone confides in me something so close to them? I hope I can hear them with an open mind and a closed mouth. I hope that if asked for my opinion that they will be open to hearing it. Because if you ask for my opinion you’re going to get an honest one:)

  26. Linda

    Look at all the friends you have here!!!
    This has made me think. How good a friend am I? What would I do/say or how would I react if/when someone confides in me something so close to them? I hope I can hear them with an open mind and a closed mouth. I hope that if asked for my opinion that they will be open to hearing it. Because if you ask for my opinion you’re going to get an honest one:)

  27. Linda

    Look at all the friends you have here!!!
    This has made me think. How good a friend am I? What would I do/say or how would I react if/when someone confides in me something so close to them? I hope I can hear them with an open mind and a closed mouth. I hope that if asked for my opinion that they will be open to hearing it. Because if you ask for my opinion you’re going to get an honest one:)

  28. Bev

    I am so sorry that your friend reacted this way. I am having a hard time understanding why she would have. When you are a true friend, you are in the friendship during the good and the bad. I might not always agree with my friends’ choices or whatever, but I love them nonetheless. I have been fortunate to never be in the particular situation you have mentioned. I have many acquaintances, but only a handful of through thick and thin, always by my side, give it to me straight, true friends. Two in particular are the only reason I am here today. I was at a point in my life once where I gave up and was SO hurt I didn’t think I could live any longer, and wished I wasn’t living any longer. I called those two people. They dropped EVERYTHING and came to my side and stayed and helped me through that crises. I would do ANY. THING. for those two friends. Anything!
    I wish I could give you a BIG hug! Hugs always make me feel better. So, I send you a virtual one. You are a lovely person and I will say a little prayer that your hurt will heal soon.

  29. Bev

    I am so sorry that your friend reacted this way. I am having a hard time understanding why she would have. When you are a true friend, you are in the friendship during the good and the bad. I might not always agree with my friends’ choices or whatever, but I love them nonetheless. I have been fortunate to never be in the particular situation you have mentioned. I have many acquaintances, but only a handful of through thick and thin, always by my side, give it to me straight, true friends. Two in particular are the only reason I am here today. I was at a point in my life once where I gave up and was SO hurt I didn’t think I could live any longer, and wished I wasn’t living any longer. I called those two people. They dropped EVERYTHING and came to my side and stayed and helped me through that crises. I would do ANY. THING. for those two friends. Anything!
    I wish I could give you a BIG hug! Hugs always make me feel better. So, I send you a virtual one. You are a lovely person and I will say a little prayer that your hurt will heal soon.

  30. Bev

    I am so sorry that your friend reacted this way. I am having a hard time understanding why she would have. When you are a true friend, you are in the friendship during the good and the bad. I might not always agree with my friends’ choices or whatever, but I love them nonetheless. I have been fortunate to never be in the particular situation you have mentioned. I have many acquaintances, but only a handful of through thick and thin, always by my side, give it to me straight, true friends. Two in particular are the only reason I am here today. I was at a point in my life once where I gave up and was SO hurt I didn’t think I could live any longer, and wished I wasn’t living any longer. I called those two people. They dropped EVERYTHING and came to my side and stayed and helped me through that crises. I would do ANY. THING. for those two friends. Anything!
    I wish I could give you a BIG hug! Hugs always make me feel better. So, I send you a virtual one. You are a lovely person and I will say a little prayer that your hurt will heal soon.

  31. kelly

    I can so relate to this!
    Maybe your friend just needs a little time to digest things. If it’s a real friend, she’ll let you know she cares. If not, now at least you’ll know.

  32. kelly

    I can so relate to this!
    Maybe your friend just needs a little time to digest things. If it’s a real friend, she’ll let you know she cares. If not, now at least you’ll know.

  33. kelly

    I can so relate to this!
    Maybe your friend just needs a little time to digest things. If it’s a real friend, she’ll let you know she cares. If not, now at least you’ll know.

  34. Kimberly

    I was just going to say the same thing as Kelly above. Give it some time, if this person is a true friend, you’ll be able to get past the awkwardness.

  35. Kimberly

    I was just going to say the same thing as Kelly above. Give it some time, if this person is a true friend, you’ll be able to get past the awkwardness.

  36. Kimberly

    I was just going to say the same thing as Kelly above. Give it some time, if this person is a true friend, you’ll be able to get past the awkwardness.

  37. Shannon River

    Oh good gravy, YES. I don’t have that many friends to begin with, and I lost all of them really quickly for some reason. A couple just up and disappeared, never to be heard from again.
    One really hurt. I was close to this guy, we were on the same wavelengths and had the same weird humor. Well, we had been drifting apart for awhile so I decided to finally do something about it. I wrote him an email about our friendship situation and told him I really needed his friendship at the moment. You see, my husband has epilepsy and we were looking into brain surgery to help him.
    My friend wrote back saying “I can’t hold your hand through this.” Case closed. Dumped me at the worst possible time of my life.
    I find out later that he was just getting sick and tired of all the drama and problems in my life. Great friend.
    One of the worst parts? That was over 3 years ago and I still haven’t really gotten over it. I still obsess about the event more than I would care to. Seeing how he proved to me what a GREAT friend he can really be… I’m very annoyed that I can’t just write him off.
    Hurts.
    I can so identify with your post.

  38. Shannon River

    Oh good gravy, YES. I don’t have that many friends to begin with, and I lost all of them really quickly for some reason. A couple just up and disappeared, never to be heard from again.
    One really hurt. I was close to this guy, we were on the same wavelengths and had the same weird humor. Well, we had been drifting apart for awhile so I decided to finally do something about it. I wrote him an email about our friendship situation and told him I really needed his friendship at the moment. You see, my husband has epilepsy and we were looking into brain surgery to help him.
    My friend wrote back saying “I can’t hold your hand through this.” Case closed. Dumped me at the worst possible time of my life.
    I find out later that he was just getting sick and tired of all the drama and problems in my life. Great friend.
    One of the worst parts? That was over 3 years ago and I still haven’t really gotten over it. I still obsess about the event more than I would care to. Seeing how he proved to me what a GREAT friend he can really be… I’m very annoyed that I can’t just write him off.
    Hurts.
    I can so identify with your post.

  39. Shannon River

    Oh good gravy, YES. I don’t have that many friends to begin with, and I lost all of them really quickly for some reason. A couple just up and disappeared, never to be heard from again.
    One really hurt. I was close to this guy, we were on the same wavelengths and had the same weird humor. Well, we had been drifting apart for awhile so I decided to finally do something about it. I wrote him an email about our friendship situation and told him I really needed his friendship at the moment. You see, my husband has epilepsy and we were looking into brain surgery to help him.
    My friend wrote back saying “I can’t hold your hand through this.” Case closed. Dumped me at the worst possible time of my life.
    I find out later that he was just getting sick and tired of all the drama and problems in my life. Great friend.
    One of the worst parts? That was over 3 years ago and I still haven’t really gotten over it. I still obsess about the event more than I would care to. Seeing how he proved to me what a GREAT friend he can really be… I’m very annoyed that I can’t just write him off.
    Hurts.
    I can so identify with your post.

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