Do Men Get PMS Too?

I think Briefcase has a bad case of PMS.  I'm tempted to say it's been going on for a little over two years, but let's just talk about this week.  Some of my more astute readers are now saying, "Hmmm … wasn't your car accident about two years ago?"  The answer would be, yes.  The accident was just over two years ago.  The cars collided in a dramatic, made for TV, manner and Briefcase promptly came down with a prolonged case of PMS.

We'll leave that discussion for another day.  For today, let's discuss the PMS which has been plaguing Briefcase for the last week or so.  I am wondering if other men get PMS too, or if it's just Briefcase?  He is irritable, short tempered, experiencing mood swings, and just plain  irritating and annoying.  He's been having angry outburst at small, inconsequential things.  He is quite normal and friendly when other people are around, and then turns into this bloated, angry, person I barely recognize when we are alone.  If he starts having crying jags, I'm moving out.

When this started about a week and a half ago, I chalked it up to Briefcase having a bad day.  Everyone has those, and people react differently to them.  I tried being nice, pleasant, and staying the hell away from him as much as possible.  Briefcase travels a lot on business, but wouldn't you know, he had an entire week in town while in this horrid mood. 

On day two of Briefcase's PMS, we got in arguments over politics.  We are registered voters of opposing political parties.  I guess you can say we don't keep our mouths shut and respect our differences.  No, we point out (repeatedly) to each other that our spouse is an effing idiot, living in a dream world, which has no resemblance at all to reality.  Reality, true reality, is where I live.  Of course.

On day three of Briefcase acting like a jerk suffering from PMS, I asked him if his period had started yet.  He sent me one of those Briefcase Dagger Looks and said, "Did you just ask if my period has started?"  Being totally immune to the Briefcase Dagger Look, I replied, "Yes, I certainly did, has it?" 

I was going to offer to run to the drugstore to buy him some tampons, but I thought better of it.

Aren't my male readers wishing they were married to me right about now?  I'm a prize.  Sorry, but my parents didn't raise me to be intimidated easily or to ever back down from what I believe.  And this week, I believe Briefcase has PMS.

On day four of Briefcase's PMS we had a little kitchen "incident."  Recently, I bought a new set of cutlery.  Our original set of kitchen knives have been used so much that they are missing tips, became warped, and are in a general sense of disarray.  I love to cook.  Cooking has become very difficult with my dysfunctional arm.  Chopping, slicing, dicing, and opening bottles of wine to drink while I cook have all become impossible with only my left, clumsy arm working.

I thought if I had a set of new knives I might be able to do more.  Maybe slice some things without help, soft things like a tomato.  (My frustration at having to ask for help on simple tasks is extreme, to put it mildly.)  Briefcase balked at the cost (nice cutlery is expensive), but my will to regain my independence is high and I purchased a very nice new set of knives anyway.  It is important to mention, my friend Nike has "contacts" and got me an amazing discount so the cost was less than half of what it would have been if I made this purchase without her help.  Briefcase is excessively cheap; he should appreciate my efforts.

Briefcase woke up on Day Four of PMS all crabby again.  (Please don't suggest he needs sex, the man is well taken care of.)  He decided to toast a bagel for breakfast.  I warned him about our new sharp knives, and the correct procedure to slice a bagel.  (Hand flat on top with fingers arched up, blah, blah, blah.)  A minute later he yelled, "Fuck these damn knives!"  I looked over to see blood dripping from his thumb.

He did not slice that bagel correctly.

PR (my worrier) ran to get a band-aid.  TR quipped with a smile, "Mom saved a lot of money on those knives."  I asked, "Did you get blood on my new bread knife?"  Maybe this sounds harsh, but our family is quick with the one liners and you get used to it if you live here.  Besides it's just a cut; his finger is still attached. 

The point being, the kitchen incident did not improve his PMS.  Briefcase was short-tempered and irritable as usual.  All day long we heard about his tragic battle with the bread knife.  The story grew in proportion as the day wore on.  It's a good thing I've never experienced any real pain of my own.  If I had, I might not have been quite as sympathetic about the band-aid on his thumb.  (Eye roll, deep sigh.)

I can't take much more.  If Briefcase doesn't get over his PMS soon, I might need to move him into a tent in the backyard.  I've actually been considering mixing some Midol in with his food.  What do you think?  Would it help?  Do you know any remedies for PMS?

39 Responses to “Do Men Get PMS Too?”

  1. Midlife Slices

    Maybe he’s upset that you can’t stroke his uh er ego with both hands. *wink* I think men get PMS AND male menopause. They just don’t talk about with all their friends like we do.
    Good luck this week!

  2. Midlife Slices

    Maybe he’s upset that you can’t stroke his uh er ego with both hands. *wink* I think men get PMS AND male menopause. They just don’t talk about with all their friends like we do.
    Good luck this week!

  3. Midlife Slices

    Maybe he’s upset that you can’t stroke his uh er ego with both hands. *wink* I think men get PMS AND male menopause. They just don’t talk about with all their friends like we do.
    Good luck this week!

  4. Joanne

    maybe Briefcase needs a little “scratch and sniff” male bonding time.You know, when they get together over a game and a keg, and whine about being your slave… and never getting to skydive, or drive a Nascar, or go fly fishing in Montana.

  5. Joanne

    maybe Briefcase needs a little “scratch and sniff” male bonding time.You know, when they get together over a game and a keg, and whine about being your slave… and never getting to skydive, or drive a Nascar, or go fly fishing in Montana.

  6. Joanne

    maybe Briefcase needs a little “scratch and sniff” male bonding time.You know, when they get together over a game and a keg, and whine about being your slave… and never getting to skydive, or drive a Nascar, or go fly fishing in Montana.

  7. Donna in VA

    My first reaction was “male menopause”. Midlife crisis rearing its ugly head.
    I say, stick with your sense of humor about it. Just because he wants to be grouchy doesn’t mean that you have to suffer too.

  8. Donna in VA

    My first reaction was “male menopause”. Midlife crisis rearing its ugly head.
    I say, stick with your sense of humor about it. Just because he wants to be grouchy doesn’t mean that you have to suffer too.

  9. Donna in VA

    My first reaction was “male menopause”. Midlife crisis rearing its ugly head.
    I say, stick with your sense of humor about it. Just because he wants to be grouchy doesn’t mean that you have to suffer too.

  10. Bev

    I would say that maybe there’s something in the water (my hubby’s been crabby too), but you all live half the country away from me. My hubby is usually a really sweet guy, but lately he bites my head off and talks all sarcastic to me like I don’t have a brain in my head. I am about ready for him or me to move out to the RV!! So, if you figure it out will you send me the bulletin?? I sympathize with you, girl!

  11. Bev

    I would say that maybe there’s something in the water (my hubby’s been crabby too), but you all live half the country away from me. My hubby is usually a really sweet guy, but lately he bites my head off and talks all sarcastic to me like I don’t have a brain in my head. I am about ready for him or me to move out to the RV!! So, if you figure it out will you send me the bulletin?? I sympathize with you, girl!

  12. Bev

    I would say that maybe there’s something in the water (my hubby’s been crabby too), but you all live half the country away from me. My hubby is usually a really sweet guy, but lately he bites my head off and talks all sarcastic to me like I don’t have a brain in my head. I am about ready for him or me to move out to the RV!! So, if you figure it out will you send me the bulletin?? I sympathize with you, girl!

  13. jo

    I think briefcase needs to be reminded about how lucky he is….beautiful, patient and caring wife, three great, healthy kids in no trouble to speak of, beautiful home and plenty of money. Life has been pretty grand…maybe too grand and maybe he has lost sight of what he has. Just a different perspective……

  14. jo

    I think briefcase needs to be reminded about how lucky he is….beautiful, patient and caring wife, three great, healthy kids in no trouble to speak of, beautiful home and plenty of money. Life has been pretty grand…maybe too grand and maybe he has lost sight of what he has. Just a different perspective……

  15. jo

    I think briefcase needs to be reminded about how lucky he is….beautiful, patient and caring wife, three great, healthy kids in no trouble to speak of, beautiful home and plenty of money. Life has been pretty grand…maybe too grand and maybe he has lost sight of what he has. Just a different perspective……

  16. alntv

    He can come hang in the doghouse with me if he likes…but leave the knives in the kitchen. Thanks!

  17. alntv

    He can come hang in the doghouse with me if he likes…but leave the knives in the kitchen. Thanks!

  18. alntv

    He can come hang in the doghouse with me if he likes…but leave the knives in the kitchen. Thanks!

  19. Lori

    I have said for years that guys get pms and go through menopause. It’s probabaly something that has nothing to do with you and your just the closest one to take it out on…not right but that seems to be what we do to each other.
    I love the idea of putting up a tent for him in the backyard…a little midol in his food wouldn’t hurt him, would it?

  20. Lori

    I have said for years that guys get pms and go through menopause. It’s probabaly something that has nothing to do with you and your just the closest one to take it out on…not right but that seems to be what we do to each other.
    I love the idea of putting up a tent for him in the backyard…a little midol in his food wouldn’t hurt him, would it?

  21. Lori

    I have said for years that guys get pms and go through menopause. It’s probabaly something that has nothing to do with you and your just the closest one to take it out on…not right but that seems to be what we do to each other.
    I love the idea of putting up a tent for him in the backyard…a little midol in his food wouldn’t hurt him, would it?

  22. Shannon River

    Swift kick in the nuts? Seems to solve things. HA HA.
    Really, my hubby gets that way too. And usually it’s because there is something bothering him that he cannot say. Whether he knows what it is and feels he’s less of a man for saying it, or maybe he’s not totally sure of it himself.
    But usually things will come out, he’ll finally admit to what’s bothering him. Even if it takes awhile.

  23. Shannon River

    Swift kick in the nuts? Seems to solve things. HA HA.
    Really, my hubby gets that way too. And usually it’s because there is something bothering him that he cannot say. Whether he knows what it is and feels he’s less of a man for saying it, or maybe he’s not totally sure of it himself.
    But usually things will come out, he’ll finally admit to what’s bothering him. Even if it takes awhile.

  24. Shannon River

    Swift kick in the nuts? Seems to solve things. HA HA.
    Really, my hubby gets that way too. And usually it’s because there is something bothering him that he cannot say. Whether he knows what it is and feels he’s less of a man for saying it, or maybe he’s not totally sure of it himself.
    But usually things will come out, he’ll finally admit to what’s bothering him. Even if it takes awhile.

  25. Smart Mouth Broad

    Yes definitely to male pms. At my house that is when MHS becomes JACKASS. And didn’t Briefcase just have a birthday…..maybe feeling that pain a little bit? I’m right there with ya, sista, on the knives thing. A girl’s gotta have good knives!

  26. Smart Mouth Broad

    Yes definitely to male pms. At my house that is when MHS becomes JACKASS. And didn’t Briefcase just have a birthday…..maybe feeling that pain a little bit? I’m right there with ya, sista, on the knives thing. A girl’s gotta have good knives!

  27. Smart Mouth Broad

    Yes definitely to male pms. At my house that is when MHS becomes JACKASS. And didn’t Briefcase just have a birthday…..maybe feeling that pain a little bit? I’m right there with ya, sista, on the knives thing. A girl’s gotta have good knives!

  28. Midlife Mama

    Yup, been there, done that. That’s what usually happens to my Dr. Jekyll when he’s off his meds. He turns into Mr. Hyde (a.k.a. PMS). He behaves EXACTLY the way you describe. Ugh. I feel your pain, honey! My Dr. Jekyll usually decides to turn into Mr Hyde on Friday afternoon of a three-day weekend. So we can all enjoy his lovely mood together for three. whole. days. And its always when we’re low on cash and I cannot get away. For the love of God, get me away! LOL
    With my husband, I know it’s the meds not doing their job. With Briefcase, would it work if you put your hands on your hips, looked at him and said, “What the damn hell is wrong with you?” Sometimes that makes ’em laugh, and sometimes it just makes ’em madder. Kinda like poking an angry snake.
    I’ve even been tempted to go stay in a motel in town just to get away and for some peace! LOL
    I feel you, girlfriend! (And I mean that in a female bonding type of way; not in any creepy way or anything). LOL

  29. Midlife Mama

    Yup, been there, done that. That’s what usually happens to my Dr. Jekyll when he’s off his meds. He turns into Mr. Hyde (a.k.a. PMS). He behaves EXACTLY the way you describe. Ugh. I feel your pain, honey! My Dr. Jekyll usually decides to turn into Mr Hyde on Friday afternoon of a three-day weekend. So we can all enjoy his lovely mood together for three. whole. days. And its always when we’re low on cash and I cannot get away. For the love of God, get me away! LOL
    With my husband, I know it’s the meds not doing their job. With Briefcase, would it work if you put your hands on your hips, looked at him and said, “What the damn hell is wrong with you?” Sometimes that makes ’em laugh, and sometimes it just makes ’em madder. Kinda like poking an angry snake.
    I’ve even been tempted to go stay in a motel in town just to get away and for some peace! LOL
    I feel you, girlfriend! (And I mean that in a female bonding type of way; not in any creepy way or anything). LOL

  30. Midlife Mama

    Yup, been there, done that. That’s what usually happens to my Dr. Jekyll when he’s off his meds. He turns into Mr. Hyde (a.k.a. PMS). He behaves EXACTLY the way you describe. Ugh. I feel your pain, honey! My Dr. Jekyll usually decides to turn into Mr Hyde on Friday afternoon of a three-day weekend. So we can all enjoy his lovely mood together for three. whole. days. And its always when we’re low on cash and I cannot get away. For the love of God, get me away! LOL
    With my husband, I know it’s the meds not doing their job. With Briefcase, would it work if you put your hands on your hips, looked at him and said, “What the damn hell is wrong with you?” Sometimes that makes ’em laugh, and sometimes it just makes ’em madder. Kinda like poking an angry snake.
    I’ve even been tempted to go stay in a motel in town just to get away and for some peace! LOL
    I feel you, girlfriend! (And I mean that in a female bonding type of way; not in any creepy way or anything). LOL

  31. Midlife Mama

    p.s. or maybe all the wives of his male friends at work read your blog, and they’re mad at him because now they’ve been handed “the list” by their wives and now they’re having to be all sensitive and chit just to get laid, and all because of YOU. Ha!!

  32. Midlife Mama

    p.s. or maybe all the wives of his male friends at work read your blog, and they’re mad at him because now they’ve been handed “the list” by their wives and now they’re having to be all sensitive and chit just to get laid, and all because of YOU. Ha!!

  33. Midlife Mama

    p.s. or maybe all the wives of his male friends at work read your blog, and they’re mad at him because now they’ve been handed “the list” by their wives and now they’re having to be all sensitive and chit just to get laid, and all because of YOU. Ha!!

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