I Admit, I'm a Failure

Today I'm providing you with a rambling post.  It might even seem to change directions mid-post.  But it is all in an effort to get you to tomorrow's post.  I know this seems to make no sense.  Trust me, ok?  Just ramble along with me for awhile.  It might end up being fun.  Eventually.  OK, here goes …. 

I don't know why I'm missing girly genes, but I am.  When I was a kid I struggled with this at times.  All the girly girls wanted to spend time shopping and playing with make-up and I wanted to read books, write stories, and play baseball with my older brother and his friends.  Not much has changed over the years. 

I have close, wonderful, female friends but I still turn to my male friends first.  If I have a choice of going shopping or sitting on the beach with a book, I'll choose the book every time.  I'm an introvert, but if I know you and trust you I won't hold back a thing.  I suppose I'm an outgoing introvert.  (I love oxymorons, don't you?) 

I've come to accept myself over the years.  I confuse a lot of other people though.  One of the benefits of getting a little older is you truly know who you are and come to terms with it.  There are, of course, a lot of negatives to being who I am.  I don't have a very nice wardrobe.  I prefer shorts or jeans and t-shirts to any other clothes.  I throw on mascara, but rarely any other make-up so I am far from the most "put together" female around. 

I also don't filter my thoughts very often when I speak.  In other words, if it goes through my brain it most likely comes out of my mouth.  It's a very helpful trait for offending people, and it also allows me to  insert my foot into my mouth on a regular basis.  The positive is, I don't play games.  Ever.  If I'm feeling it, you know it.  Never mind that I might feel differently in a week, you always know exactly where I am right then

In spite of my many and obvious flaws, I actually have some friends.  Remarkable, isn't it?  Some of them I've even had for many years. 

Yesterday was a spectacular day here in Orange County.  I spent a good deal of the morning with The Torturer, but he let me leave a little earlier than usual.  (Yay!)  The day greeted me with joy.  The air was crystal clear, and my car thermometer read 93 as I drove away from PT.  I decided to stop at the Money Town Starbucks for an iced tea on my way home.

I ran into an acquaintance while at Starbucks.  She is a Money Town resident and although we are not close friends, we are friendly. 

Jodi seemed very excited to see me.  She was more excited to see me than I was to see her.  Don't get me wrong, Jodi is a nice enough person.  We just don't have a lot in common.  Her Money Town status and possessions are very important to her.  My shorts and t-shirts are not very important to me.  We're very different people.

Whenever I run into someone I haven't seen for awhile the routine is pretty much the same.  It was no different with Jodi yesterday.  I got a zillion questions about my recovery from the car accident.  Everyone wants to know how I am, can I use my arm, can they see me try to move it, etc.  I think they all need to see with their own eyes what I can and can't do.  Maybe this helps them to grasp it all, or more likely, it gives them something to gossip about. 

Then, always, and I do mean always, the questions begin about the lawsuit.  Particularly from my Money Town friends.  Everyone is just dying to know if I'm going to become an overnight millionaire.  They want to know if I'm going to become one of them.  They do their best to see if they can get me to mention a dollar figure.

It gets old. 

I may not have much of a brain-mouth filter, but I do have enough sense not to discuss my finances with casual acquaintances.  My sitemeter tells me I've got a lot of Money Town readers, however.  For all of them, let me offer this.  I am not going to become one of you, and all the money in the world would not change that.  (Please re-read the first four paragraphs of today's post if you need clarification.)  In addition, all the money in the world would not make what I've gone through any better.  In the least.  Lastly, the outcome of the case has not been determined yet.  I may get nothing. 

Stop asking.

Jodi decided she could be helpful to me.  She asked me a lot of questions at Starbucks and determined that my life is a mess and in need of her guidance.  What do you think?  Do you think Jodi was offering to help out with some of the things I can't manage with one working arm?  Do you think Jodi was offering friendship, moral support, or anything along those lines? 

Let's see who can get closest to guessing what Jodi thinks I need help with.  Leave me a comment and tell me what you think the priorities in Money Town might be.  Tomorrow I'll tell you my Jodi story and we'll see who had the best guess.  Think about it for a minute.  You live in Money Town.  Your life is cushioned and sheltered.  A non-girly acquaintance is in a car accident and goes through five surgeries.  It's over two years later, but you decide suddenly, and for the first time, you want to help.  What do you think a Money Town resident would feel is important?      

25 Responses to “I Admit, I'm a Failure”

  1. amyz5

    haha. you sound like me.
    my guess is that she is offering to do a fashion makeover AND to hook you up with a financial consultant (most likely her family member) after your legal windfall.
    either that, or she just offered to pay for your iced tea.

  2. Jan

    Oh, I’m betting it was shopping and a makeover first, then to introduce you to her brother-in-law (or insert male relative here) who is either a MUCH better attorney than the one you have or a financial planner who will help you with your enormous cash settlement.
    ‘Cause I know she didn’t offer to wash your car or clean your house.

  3. Gina

    hmmm a spa day maybe…. which really couldn’t hurt hehe they always make me happy!

  4. Joanne

    I think she wants to take you on as a “project” so she will have a humanitarian story to tell, about herself.
    As for me… I am living in fear of Stacey and Clinton finding out about me, (What not to Wear)

  5. jo

    Let’s see if this very non-girly girl (and I own more t-shirts than anything else girl) can guess what another non-girly girl might need from her money town “friend”…..why, honey, you need some “work”, right? (Forgive me, I’m unfamiliar with the jargon in this department.) You need a face lift, boob lift (not augmentation), butt lift, permanent eyeliner whatever, or whatever else people do in money town to fix (mutilate) their bodies. (Now, if you lived here in Appalachia, you would be adding a nice tatoo or two.)
    Am I close? Ya, you need MORE surgery!

  6. kelly

    This is a hard one because all sorts of things come to mind. I can picture her suggesting plastic surgery, a make-over, or some sort of investment deal that she would benefit from. Am I close?

  7. Lo

    dude. makeover. OF COURSE. and then she wants to … tote you around to all of her rich town friends, and say, ‘OH THIS IS MY FRIEND WHO I TOTALLY HELPED OUT. SHE WAS SOOOOOO PATHETIC I JSUT COULDN’T LEAVE HER NOW COULD I????!?!?!?!?!????’ bc GOD FORBID oh lawdy lawd you enjoy. your. jeans. and. friggin. tee. shirt.
    honestly, money’s all good and all that shit, but if i had to be an oc wife i think i’d have a stroke. all that pretending.

  8. Ry

    Well I think the bottom line is she is probably lonely and trying to make you like her so she has someone to drown with.
    I’m thinking plastic surgery, a new wardrobe and perhaps a chauffeur so you’re no long the driver in such accidents? Hehe
    BTW, those first 4 paragraphs, I could have easily written the same things about myself. I knew we got along for a reason!

  9. phhhst

    She wants to recommend a lawyer. She knows the best of the best and when her suggested lawyer gets you a great settlement she will feel altruistic.
    On a lighter note, you’re awesome. You would like it here in Hawaii, because when I moved here from So Cal in the early 80’s to go to college, I was attracted to 1)many less people who think things and money decide their value, 2) you can wear shorts and t-shirts all the time, year round WITH rubber slippers

  10. goodfather

    Nice post! I liked the ‘ramble’ ;). Every time you talk about ‘Money Town’ I think of Mr. and Mr. Howell on Gilligan’s Island. I can’t help it. Jodi as Mrs. Howell:
    Lovey: Thurston, help Twenty Four At Heart with her laundry.
    Thurston: Good God, woman! A Howell doesn’t laundry anything! Except money of course.’

  11. Bev

    If I was just guessing by what all you said, I think maybe she wants to give you a “makeover”, you know, with girly stuff, like the very best (expensive) makeup (artfully applied), a new hairdo, and wardrobe. Just a guess here, but that would be it. (I didn’t look at any other guesses, but I am going to see if anyone else guessed what I did!)
    I hope you are having a great week!

  12. thistle

    i’m going to go with a makeover plus some ‘work’…maybe the lip thing? And some stupidly expensive shoes.

  13. EricaB

    Wow…the comments!
    I’m thinking she wants to set you up with a writer/producer so if you don’t get money from the suit you can sell your story to Lifetime. 🙂
    And if Miss. Ballerina Toes is right about “the Secret” RUN LIKE HELL!!

  14. Sandra

    My guess is a day of shopping and she’ll carry all your bags since your arm doesn’t work. If the shopping is on her go for it. Who can’t use another t-shirt and shorts. Insist on going to the Goodwill to do your shopping. That oughta shock her!

  15. Linda

    The first 4 paragraphs….OMG, we are twins seperated at birth! The whole jeans, t-shirt, shorts thing PLUS “mouth open thoughts spoken”. Twins I tell ya.
    O.K. lets see your friend Jody wants to introduce you to her plastic surgeon over lunch at that new sushi place and then go for a manicure. wench.

  16. Lori

    She wants to make you a “girl”…to get you new clothes, make up, jewelery…so that you feel better about yourself…because it’s all about appearances!


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