Since I began Twenty Four At Heart, more and more people have come to me with Money Town or Orange County stories to share. Sometimes I'll even ask some of my friends whether they've come across any great stories recently.
Last night I sent an email to one of my Money Town friends. He hangs out with the richest of the rich in Orange County. People that drive me crazy make him shrug and grin. He's a great source for a "tidbit" when I'm suffering from writer's block.
"Tell me a story," I begged via email.
A short while later I read his response, stunned.
There are a few neighborhoods within Money Town which are more exclusive than others. Apparently one man owns two extremely expensive homes (millions of dollars for each home) within a half mile of each other.
In one home lives his wife and kids. In the other home lives his other wife. Not ex-wife, wife. Neither wife knew about the other wife until recently. Wife #2 heard about wife #1 when she was attending church recently. Now everybody knows about everybody.
No, I'm not kidding.
(Also, if you type the word wife enough times in a row, you realize it sounds very strange and it's a weird word. Who invented it? Wife, wife, wife, wife.)
Why would Mr. Bigamist have everyone go to the same church?
Maybe he figured, "A family that prays together stays together?"
Maybe he thought multiple services meant he should have multiple wives?
I emailed my friend back with a host of questions. Among other things I asked, "Why would he do this? Why get married twice? Why not just have an affair?" (Not that I'm condoning affairs, but I was trying to understand the man's thought process.)
My friend sent back the following email:
"Did I forget to mention he's also having an affair?"
Well, yeah, I guess that's a minor detail in comparison to being married to two different women at the same time.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around this whole thing. I try to understand the logic behind a man who would do this, and I just can't fathom his reasoning. Why would anyone want to buy two multi-million dollar homes in the first place? Wouldn't he realize that the convenience (for him) of having the homes close together meant keeping his secret next to impossible over the long term?
What if he went home to the wrong house on the wrong day? What if he told wife #1 he was going away on business and meant to go home to wife #2 at the end of the day. If he accidentally drove back to the house with wife #1, wouldn't he be screwed? Not get screwed, be screwed. If it were me, I would never be able to keep it all straight.
(If it were me, I'd also definitely blog about my two husbands, houses, and who was the best husband in bed. Just sayin'! That's a lot of great writing material!)
Most of us find one spouse challenging enough, why have two? Double the frustration? Double the bills? Clearly this man has limitless amounts of money. Did he go back and forth between wives on the same day? Was he having sex with multiple women in the same day? (Because, if so? Eww!) How did he manage holidays?
Why have everyone go to the same church? Or was that an accident? How does he explain this to his kids now?
"Daddy got confused and accidentally married two women, bought two homes, and had another woman (women?) on the side for more sex."
Obviously Mr. Bigamist has no conscience. Is he a sociopath?
Really, how could anyone live this?