Bigamy

Since I began Twenty Four At Heart, more and more people have come to me with Money Town or Orange County stories to share.  Sometimes I'll even ask some of my friends whether they've come across any great stories recently.

Last night I sent an email to one of my Money Town friends.  He hangs out with the richest of the rich in Orange County.  People that drive me crazy make him shrug and grin.  He's a great source for a "tidbit" when I'm suffering from writer's block. 

"Tell me a story," I begged via email.

A short while later I read his response, stunned.

There are a few neighborhoods within Money Town which are more exclusive than others.  Apparently one man owns two extremely expensive homes (millions of dollars for each home) within a half mile of each other

In one home lives his wife and kids.  In the other home lives his other wife.  Not ex-wife, wife.  Neither wife knew about the other wife until recently.  Wife #2 heard about wife #1 when she was attending church recently.  Now everybody knows about everybody.

No, I'm not kidding.

(Also, if you type the word wife enough times in a row, you realize it sounds very strange and it's a weird word.  Who invented it?  Wife, wife, wife, wife.)

Why would Mr. Bigamist have everyone go to the same church? 

Maybe he figured, "A family that prays together stays together?"

Maybe he thought multiple services meant he should have multiple wives?

Or something?

I emailed my friend back with a host of questions.  Among other things I asked, "Why would he do this?  Why get married twice?  Why not just have an affair?"  (Not that I'm condoning affairs, but I was trying to understand the man's thought process.)

My friend sent back the following email:

"Did I forget to mention he's also having an affair?"

Well, yeah, I guess that's a minor detail in comparison to being married to two different women at the same time. 

I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around this whole thing.  I try to understand the logic behind a man who would do this, and I just can't fathom his reasoning.  Why would anyone want to buy two multi-million dollar homes in the first place?  Wouldn't he realize that the convenience (for him) of having the homes close together meant keeping his secret next to impossible over the long term?

What if he went home to the wrong house on the wrong day?  What if he told wife #1 he was going away on business and meant to go home to wife #2 at the end of the day.  If he accidentally drove back to the house with wife #1, wouldn't he be screwed?  Not get screwed, be screwed.  If it were me, I would never be able to keep it all straight.

(If it were me, I'd also definitely blog about my two husbands, houses, and who was the best husband in bed.  Just sayin'!  That's a lot of great writing material!)

Most of us find one spouse challenging enough, why have two?  Double the frustration?  Double the bills?  Clearly this man has limitless amounts of money.  Did he go back and forth between wives on the same day?  Was he having sex with multiple women in the same day?  (Because, if so?  Eww!)  How did he manage holidays?

Why have everyone go to the same church?  Or was that an accident?  How does he explain this to his kids now? 

"Daddy got confused and accidentally married two women, bought two homes, and had another woman (women?) on the side for more sex."

Obviously Mr. Bigamist has no conscience.  Is he a sociopath? 

Really, how could anyone live this?

99 Responses to “Bigamy”

  1. Joanne

    I wonder what the financial inplications are if TWO wives ,EACH sued you for divorce on the grounds of adultery…. AND the state grabbed your ass for bigamy?? At any rate you think that he would be glad to get trotted off to prison rather than face both pissed off wives.
    OR maybe they are both the “trophy” type and dont mind him being absent one little bit as long as their credit cards are paid… who knows

  2. Joanne

    I wonder what the financial inplications are if TWO wives ,EACH sued you for divorce on the grounds of adultery…. AND the state grabbed your ass for bigamy?? At any rate you think that he would be glad to get trotted off to prison rather than face both pissed off wives.
    OR maybe they are both the “trophy” type and dont mind him being absent one little bit as long as their credit cards are paid… who knows

  3. Joanne

    I wonder what the financial inplications are if TWO wives ,EACH sued you for divorce on the grounds of adultery…. AND the state grabbed your ass for bigamy?? At any rate you think that he would be glad to get trotted off to prison rather than face both pissed off wives.
    OR maybe they are both the “trophy” type and dont mind him being absent one little bit as long as their credit cards are paid… who knows

  4. Gina

    all i can say is WOW, and i would absolutely LOVE to hear more details on this nutcase!

  5. Gina

    all i can say is WOW, and i would absolutely LOVE to hear more details on this nutcase!

  6. Gina

    all i can say is WOW, and i would absolutely LOVE to hear more details on this nutcase!

  7. Jan

    I’m with Joanne on this one – what’s not only going to happen to him with the bigamy charge, but when both wives decide to divorce him? Bet he won’t be rich long.
    As for *why* he’d do such a thing, it brings to mind Groucho Marx in “A Night at the Opera” where he suggests marriage to two women at once. The older (and richer) of the two gets all huffy, and protests, “But that’s BIGAMY!”
    Groucho wiggles his eyebrows and replies, “Yeah, it’s big of me, too.”
    Maybe the guy just thought he was being…generous?

  8. Jan

    I’m with Joanne on this one – what’s not only going to happen to him with the bigamy charge, but when both wives decide to divorce him? Bet he won’t be rich long.
    As for *why* he’d do such a thing, it brings to mind Groucho Marx in “A Night at the Opera” where he suggests marriage to two women at once. The older (and richer) of the two gets all huffy, and protests, “But that’s BIGAMY!”
    Groucho wiggles his eyebrows and replies, “Yeah, it’s big of me, too.”
    Maybe the guy just thought he was being…generous?

  9. Jan

    I’m with Joanne on this one – what’s not only going to happen to him with the bigamy charge, but when both wives decide to divorce him? Bet he won’t be rich long.
    As for *why* he’d do such a thing, it brings to mind Groucho Marx in “A Night at the Opera” where he suggests marriage to two women at once. The older (and richer) of the two gets all huffy, and protests, “But that’s BIGAMY!”
    Groucho wiggles his eyebrows and replies, “Yeah, it’s big of me, too.”
    Maybe the guy just thought he was being…generous?

  10. Di

    And how did he file his income taxes? Lost of ‘how’ questions for sure.

  11. Di

    And how did he file his income taxes? Lost of ‘how’ questions for sure.

  12. Di

    And how did he file his income taxes? Lost of ‘how’ questions for sure.

  13. joan

    I just marvel at his energy levels. How does he manage two wives, a mistress AND the successful career needed to finance it all?

  14. joan

    I just marvel at his energy levels. How does he manage two wives, a mistress AND the successful career needed to finance it all?

  15. joan

    I just marvel at his energy levels. How does he manage two wives, a mistress AND the successful career needed to finance it all?

  16. Lori

    All I can say is WOW! Very interesting story. I cannot even imagine living in this way. I have a hard enough time keeping the family I have straight…I’m always calling one of my kids by their siblings name. I wonder if this man ever accidentally called one wife, the other’s name?
    Craziness!

  17. Lori

    All I can say is WOW! Very interesting story. I cannot even imagine living in this way. I have a hard enough time keeping the family I have straight…I’m always calling one of my kids by their siblings name. I wonder if this man ever accidentally called one wife, the other’s name?
    Craziness!

  18. Lori

    All I can say is WOW! Very interesting story. I cannot even imagine living in this way. I have a hard enough time keeping the family I have straight…I’m always calling one of my kids by their siblings name. I wonder if this man ever accidentally called one wife, the other’s name?
    Craziness!

  19. Heather

    This is an AMAZING story. What an ass! I can’t stop the questions from popping in my head. I bet he had multiple girlfriends too. Sounds like every female was fair game.

  20. Heather

    This is an AMAZING story. What an ass! I can’t stop the questions from popping in my head. I bet he had multiple girlfriends too. Sounds like every female was fair game.

  21. Heather

    This is an AMAZING story. What an ass! I can’t stop the questions from popping in my head. I bet he had multiple girlfriends too. Sounds like every female was fair game.

  22. goodfather

    Must… not… write what I’m thinking… AHHHH!
    I also have two wives, a mistress, and a concubine*. I’ve decided to turn what I consider to be a slur into a term of a approval: when my dependents need something, or thank me for paying their bills, or congratulate me for keeping all the balls in play (as it were), I say, “Yeah, it’s big a’ me.”
    *Not really. Just going for the joke. Awesome post!

  23. goodfather

    Must… not… write what I’m thinking… AHHHH!
    I also have two wives, a mistress, and a concubine*. I’ve decided to turn what I consider to be a slur into a term of a approval: when my dependents need something, or thank me for paying their bills, or congratulate me for keeping all the balls in play (as it were), I say, “Yeah, it’s big a’ me.”
    *Not really. Just going for the joke. Awesome post!

  24. goodfather

    Must… not… write what I’m thinking… AHHHH!
    I also have two wives, a mistress, and a concubine*. I’ve decided to turn what I consider to be a slur into a term of a approval: when my dependents need something, or thank me for paying their bills, or congratulate me for keeping all the balls in play (as it were), I say, “Yeah, it’s big a’ me.”
    *Not really. Just going for the joke. Awesome post!

  25. goodfather

    Oh, man, sorry sorry sorry! Jan already beat me to the joke. I formally retract my previous comment, outclassed and apparently caught purloining a Groucho Marx classic (which, in my defense, I did not know).
    My apologies to your readers, Jan, you, and any electrons I may have harmed.

  26. goodfather

    Oh, man, sorry sorry sorry! Jan already beat me to the joke. I formally retract my previous comment, outclassed and apparently caught purloining a Groucho Marx classic (which, in my defense, I did not know).
    My apologies to your readers, Jan, you, and any electrons I may have harmed.

  27. goodfather

    Oh, man, sorry sorry sorry! Jan already beat me to the joke. I formally retract my previous comment, outclassed and apparently caught purloining a Groucho Marx classic (which, in my defense, I did not know).
    My apologies to your readers, Jan, you, and any electrons I may have harmed.

  28. Lo

    Joanne- isn’t cali a no-fault state?
    dude. this is f-ing twisted. seriously. waht the hell??? i mean REALLY WHAT THE F-ING HELL!!!! man. oh man. i would FU-LIP if i found at AT MOTHER F-ING CHURCH that i had, uhm, i dunno, ANOTHER WIFE to compete with! dear lord this is so weird.
    seriously. and how is this LEGAL? i mean for christs sake, a woman can’t marry a woman in cali. and yet a man can marry TWO WOMEN so does this make the other two women married by association?
    and then what? are they now breaking the law DOUBLE TIME bc of that?
    oh lordy. i am confused.

  29. Lo

    Joanne- isn’t cali a no-fault state?
    dude. this is f-ing twisted. seriously. waht the hell??? i mean REALLY WHAT THE F-ING HELL!!!! man. oh man. i would FU-LIP if i found at AT MOTHER F-ING CHURCH that i had, uhm, i dunno, ANOTHER WIFE to compete with! dear lord this is so weird.
    seriously. and how is this LEGAL? i mean for christs sake, a woman can’t marry a woman in cali. and yet a man can marry TWO WOMEN so does this make the other two women married by association?
    and then what? are they now breaking the law DOUBLE TIME bc of that?
    oh lordy. i am confused.

  30. Lo

    Joanne- isn’t cali a no-fault state?
    dude. this is f-ing twisted. seriously. waht the hell??? i mean REALLY WHAT THE F-ING HELL!!!! man. oh man. i would FU-LIP if i found at AT MOTHER F-ING CHURCH that i had, uhm, i dunno, ANOTHER WIFE to compete with! dear lord this is so weird.
    seriously. and how is this LEGAL? i mean for christs sake, a woman can’t marry a woman in cali. and yet a man can marry TWO WOMEN so does this make the other two women married by association?
    and then what? are they now breaking the law DOUBLE TIME bc of that?
    oh lordy. i am confused.

  31. EricaB

    My first thought reading all this was that this man has a major EGO. I think he WANTED to get caught. What else makes sense? He must truly believe that he is WORTHY of two wives…
    But what I really want to know is that when wifey #1 found out why didn’t she kill him? Seriously. Ok, maybe not kill but at least maim or hire a really good hitman (come one, they OBVIOUSLY have the $$)…tell me it didn’t even cross her mind…

  32. EricaB

    My first thought reading all this was that this man has a major EGO. I think he WANTED to get caught. What else makes sense? He must truly believe that he is WORTHY of two wives…
    But what I really want to know is that when wifey #1 found out why didn’t she kill him? Seriously. Ok, maybe not kill but at least maim or hire a really good hitman (come one, they OBVIOUSLY have the $$)…tell me it didn’t even cross her mind…

  33. EricaB

    My first thought reading all this was that this man has a major EGO. I think he WANTED to get caught. What else makes sense? He must truly believe that he is WORTHY of two wives…
    But what I really want to know is that when wifey #1 found out why didn’t she kill him? Seriously. Ok, maybe not kill but at least maim or hire a really good hitman (come one, they OBVIOUSLY have the $$)…tell me it didn’t even cross her mind…

  34. Neil

    I have the same problem with threesomes. Isn’t it difficult enough making one woman happy? Seems like way too much work.

  35. Neil

    I have the same problem with threesomes. Isn’t it difficult enough making one woman happy? Seems like way too much work.

  36. Neil

    I have the same problem with threesomes. Isn’t it difficult enough making one woman happy? Seems like way too much work.

  37. Punditdad

    Hi! Just found your blog and love it. I just moved to the OC from the Midwest though I’m in Irvine, which probably isn’t MoneyTown. That said, the amount of wealth in this county continues to floor me. I’m not surprised about your post, but mostly saddened that people with money and power think they are gods and can manipulate other people without regret.

  38. Punditdad

    Hi! Just found your blog and love it. I just moved to the OC from the Midwest though I’m in Irvine, which probably isn’t MoneyTown. That said, the amount of wealth in this county continues to floor me. I’m not surprised about your post, but mostly saddened that people with money and power think they are gods and can manipulate other people without regret.

  39. Punditdad

    Hi! Just found your blog and love it. I just moved to the OC from the Midwest though I’m in Irvine, which probably isn’t MoneyTown. That said, the amount of wealth in this county continues to floor me. I’m not surprised about your post, but mostly saddened that people with money and power think they are gods and can manipulate other people without regret.

  40. Sandra

    “Daddy got confused and accidentally married two women, bought two homes”
    That sentence made me laugh out loud!!!
    This could easily be a movie. Is he a producer? In the movie biz? Creating his own blockbuster perhaps? He could play himself!
    Keep us posted on this one. We want more dirt.

  41. Sandra

    “Daddy got confused and accidentally married two women, bought two homes”
    That sentence made me laugh out loud!!!
    This could easily be a movie. Is he a producer? In the movie biz? Creating his own blockbuster perhaps? He could play himself!
    Keep us posted on this one. We want more dirt.

  42. Sandra

    “Daddy got confused and accidentally married two women, bought two homes”
    That sentence made me laugh out loud!!!
    This could easily be a movie. Is he a producer? In the movie biz? Creating his own blockbuster perhaps? He could play himself!
    Keep us posted on this one. We want more dirt.

  43. Liz C

    Wow. I’m guessing he can’t have had really close relationships with his ‘wives’. I’m thinking Joanne’s comment about the ‘trophy’ types is probably right on target. He probably considers them possessions.
    For some reason the whole notion pisses me off. I hope the state throws his ass in jail and both wives go after everything he owns.

  44. Liz C

    Wow. I’m guessing he can’t have had really close relationships with his ‘wives’. I’m thinking Joanne’s comment about the ‘trophy’ types is probably right on target. He probably considers them possessions.
    For some reason the whole notion pisses me off. I hope the state throws his ass in jail and both wives go after everything he owns.

  45. Liz C

    Wow. I’m guessing he can’t have had really close relationships with his ‘wives’. I’m thinking Joanne’s comment about the ‘trophy’ types is probably right on target. He probably considers them possessions.
    For some reason the whole notion pisses me off. I hope the state throws his ass in jail and both wives go after everything he owns.

  46. Missy

    This is not the first story like this I’ve heard. Like 24 I also live in OC (actually Money Town) and when my kids were in high school (Catholic by the way) there was a similar story except instead of being neighbors the two wives lives in adjacent towns. It did not end well….

  47. Missy

    This is not the first story like this I’ve heard. Like 24 I also live in OC (actually Money Town) and when my kids were in high school (Catholic by the way) there was a similar story except instead of being neighbors the two wives lives in adjacent towns. It did not end well….

  48. Missy

    This is not the first story like this I’ve heard. Like 24 I also live in OC (actually Money Town) and when my kids were in high school (Catholic by the way) there was a similar story except instead of being neighbors the two wives lives in adjacent towns. It did not end well….

  49. RD

    Um yeah I can believe this is true…there are men out there that are really good at lying I have met a few! But it is almost a full time job trying to juggle all the women! The one I met said he never wanted to settle down, women were too hard to deal with…hmmm of course they would be if they all knew that he could not be trusted! He created all the drama! There are men out there that love the drama just as much as women… they just won’t admit it. Some just love the chase!

  50. RD

    Um yeah I can believe this is true…there are men out there that are really good at lying I have met a few! But it is almost a full time job trying to juggle all the women! The one I met said he never wanted to settle down, women were too hard to deal with…hmmm of course they would be if they all knew that he could not be trusted! He created all the drama! There are men out there that love the drama just as much as women… they just won’t admit it. Some just love the chase!

  51. RD

    Um yeah I can believe this is true…there are men out there that are really good at lying I have met a few! But it is almost a full time job trying to juggle all the women! The one I met said he never wanted to settle down, women were too hard to deal with…hmmm of course they would be if they all knew that he could not be trusted! He created all the drama! There are men out there that love the drama just as much as women… they just won’t admit it. Some just love the chase!

  52. shaunna

    for some reason the church detail disturbed me the most.
    (i’m afraid the rest of it i merely attribute to the debauchery that can be found in human nature, and at this point rarely shocks or surprises me.)

  53. shaunna

    for some reason the church detail disturbed me the most.
    (i’m afraid the rest of it i merely attribute to the debauchery that can be found in human nature, and at this point rarely shocks or surprises me.)

  54. shaunna

    for some reason the church detail disturbed me the most.
    (i’m afraid the rest of it i merely attribute to the debauchery that can be found in human nature, and at this point rarely shocks or surprises me.)

  55. Julia

    Well clearly he went to the same church because he was tired of having to attend two services every week, maybe even the same one. That would be so boring, But at the same time, he seems to be religious (or something)and has to attend mess with his family, however many there might be!

  56. Julia

    Well clearly he went to the same church because he was tired of having to attend two services every week, maybe even the same one. That would be so boring, But at the same time, he seems to be religious (or something)and has to attend mess with his family, however many there might be!

  57. Julia

    Well clearly he went to the same church because he was tired of having to attend two services every week, maybe even the same one. That would be so boring, But at the same time, he seems to be religious (or something)and has to attend mess with his family, however many there might be!

  58. Linda

    The guys an ass I agree but I;m having a hard time believing that none of the women had any idea.

  59. Linda

    The guys an ass I agree but I;m having a hard time believing that none of the women had any idea.

  60. Linda

    The guys an ass I agree but I;m having a hard time believing that none of the women had any idea.

  61. jo

    WTF? The poor bastard must have small genitalia and very low self-esteem.
    That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

  62. jo

    WTF? The poor bastard must have small genitalia and very low self-esteem.
    That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

  63. jo

    WTF? The poor bastard must have small genitalia and very low self-esteem.
    That’s all I’ve got to say about that.

  64. jennster

    omfg!!!!! what the hell?!?! why so close and yeah, how doyou NOT fuck that up?!?! don’t you go to the same restaurants and shops, and RUN INTO THE SAME PEOPLE?!?!?! that is crazy. crazy i tell you! lol

  65. jennster

    omfg!!!!! what the hell?!?! why so close and yeah, how doyou NOT fuck that up?!?! don’t you go to the same restaurants and shops, and RUN INTO THE SAME PEOPLE?!?!?! that is crazy. crazy i tell you! lol

  66. jennster

    omfg!!!!! what the hell?!?! why so close and yeah, how doyou NOT fuck that up?!?! don’t you go to the same restaurants and shops, and RUN INTO THE SAME PEOPLE?!?!?! that is crazy. crazy i tell you! lol

  67. Tricia

    They should just all move in together. With that much money, they could build a compound with separate living quarters and a central kitchen. A friend of mine always tells her husband if he wants to have another woman, don’t bother keeping it a secret. Just bring her home, and make sure she can do laundry and likes to cook and likes children.

  68. Tricia

    They should just all move in together. With that much money, they could build a compound with separate living quarters and a central kitchen. A friend of mine always tells her husband if he wants to have another woman, don’t bother keeping it a secret. Just bring her home, and make sure she can do laundry and likes to cook and likes children.

  69. Tricia

    They should just all move in together. With that much money, they could build a compound with separate living quarters and a central kitchen. A friend of mine always tells her husband if he wants to have another woman, don’t bother keeping it a secret. Just bring her home, and make sure she can do laundry and likes to cook and likes children.

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