Caught Naked

I know you'll be surprised to hear I did something kind of stupid yesterday. 

It wasn't really stupid. 

I mean, it wasn't a result of a low IQ or anything like that. 

No, I'm pretty intelligent with the stupid things I do.  Most of the time they're the result of being preoccupied, or trying to do way more than any one person should try to do in any given day. 

So now we've established I'm a very bright individual, right? 

Good, fine. 

Remember that forever and ever.

I didn't get much sleep on Tuesday night. 

The whole blah, blah, blah pain and trying not to take any pain meds blah, blah, blah thing.  As a result, my intelligent brain might not have been firing all it's neurons on Wednesday.  I thought I'd hop on our elliptical (exercise equipment for you couch potatoes) and get a quick workout in before my standing 11 a.m. PT appointment.  Exercise creates endorphins and endorphins decrease pain. 

Supposedly. 

Sounds like a load of crap to me, but I'll try anything.

I finished my stellar workout having burned off maybe three calories.  I work out really hard like that. 

I came downstairs because all morning long my retrievers kept wanting to go outside every few minutes.  If you're one of the poor suckers people who follow me on Twitter, you got a message yesterday saying something along the lines of, "Let dogs in, let dogs out.  Let dogs in, let dogs out.  Let dogs in …."  Honestly, my two retrievers have never been so annoying.

And yes, I really do send out earth-shattering messages like that on Twitter.

It never occurred to me maybe the dogs were going out a lot because there was somethinginteresting for them to look at outside.  I admit, I was a little concerned initially because we had a rattlesnake pay us a visit the day before.  My backyard backs up to a canyon and lake.  There is nothing but wilderness behind our back fence.  It's very pretty.  It's been killer hot out here lately.  With the heat, sometimes we get critters like  mountain lion, deer, coyotes, bobcats, and rattlesnakes. 

I did have a brief moment where the thought of the dogs and the rattlesnake passed through my head, but I dismissed it.  That snake had plenty of time to move on from the prior day.  Also, the dogs weren't barking at anything.  Once a rattlesnake was right next to my foot and my Golden Retriever went berserk alerting me.  Retrievers are lovable, but also protective, and my dogs were not barking at anything.  They were just going in and out, and in and out, over and over again.

I finally got so frustrated with them I left our back door, leading to our backyard, wide open so they could go in and out without bothering me every two minutes.  For those of you who know me well, this is not normal behavior for me. 

No, I'm one of those neurotic people who always keeps the doors closed, and locked, all the time when I'm home.  Because it isn't normal behavior for me to leave a door wide open, I promptly forgot I had done so.  I was busy trying to knock out a few chores before I left for PT.

At one point I found myself in my laundry room tossing in a load to be washed.  I suddenly realized I might as well wash my workout clothes at the same time.  I stripped down naked in the laundry room, tossed some detergent in the washer and walked out.  I was going to head upstairs for a shower.

I like being naked just as much as the next person, but I'm not an exhibitionist. 

Also, hello? 

I'm in my forties.  Things don't look as great as they used to.  Come to think of it, things never looked great.  I'm the last person in the world to go advertising my stuff around town.

I walked out from the laundry room and found myself staring straight down a hall leading to our back door.  Both of my retrievers had retired to another room for a nap.  The door itself is glass, as is pretty much the entire back wall of our home.  We have lots and lots of windows so we can look out at the beautiful mountains and canyon. 

Standing there buck naked, I immediately noticed the back door wide open.  I hesitated.  I could head upstairs and take a shower.  However, I'm neurotic enough to be worried about showering with a door to my house wide open.  My other choice was to walk to the back door completely naked, shut the door, and then head to the shower.

I just couldn't take a shower with the door wide open. 

Besides, there's nothing but canyon behind our house. 

At least, not normally. 

I was about three feet from the door when I saw them.  Probably six landscaping men standing on the other side of our backyard fence.  Four of them were in discussion with their backs to me.  Two of them were turned towards me with their eyes glued on me. 

Naked me. 

Once in awhile our community hires landscaping teams to come in and clear brush from the perimeter of our neighborhood.  They do this in the name of fire prevention, which is of course, very important here in California.

I froze mid-step.  I'm not even kidding, it was as if I turned into a statue.  Should I take three or four more steps closer to those men to shut the door?  Or turn and run?  The door is glass, so even if I shut it, the men would have full view of me after I closed it. 

I couldn't move.  I stood there frozen for what seemed like hours, but was probably only seconds.  They didn't move either.  And then one of them did.  He turned and nudged one of the men next to him who was not yet staring in my direction.  He was alerting his buddies to the naked blonde woman they hadn't yet seen.

That was all it took to snap me out of my trance. 

In a millisecond I sprung forward, slammed the door shut, turned the lock, and sprinted away.  I'm sure they all got a nice view of my bouncing breasts and fat ass running away.

I suppose it gave them something to talk about? 

I wonder how many times they see naked women when they're out in wilderness areas clearing brush? 

It must happen every day. 

Or at least, that's what I told myself as I showered and quickly departed for the day.

© Twenty Four At Heart

102 Responses to “Caught Naked”

  1. Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Good Lord, woman. You slammed the door? How rude. You could have at least offered them some cookies.
    OK, seriously, I am so mortified for you, I can’t imagine what I would have done. Actually, if I had over analyzed it to death beforehand, I might have (MIGHT HAVE, I CAN’T SWEAR ON IT) worked myself up into full paranoid mode and gone to my room or the bathroom and at least grabbed a robe or a towel, because of you know, that karma thing or that Murphy’s law thing. Because if you had put on a robe, then when you got to the door, there would have been nobody there. But which Murphy’s Law option would you have preferred?

  2. Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Good Lord, woman. You slammed the door? How rude. You could have at least offered them some cookies.
    OK, seriously, I am so mortified for you, I can’t imagine what I would have done. Actually, if I had over analyzed it to death beforehand, I might have (MIGHT HAVE, I CAN’T SWEAR ON IT) worked myself up into full paranoid mode and gone to my room or the bathroom and at least grabbed a robe or a towel, because of you know, that karma thing or that Murphy’s law thing. Because if you had put on a robe, then when you got to the door, there would have been nobody there. But which Murphy’s Law option would you have preferred?

  3. Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Good Lord, woman. You slammed the door? How rude. You could have at least offered them some cookies.
    OK, seriously, I am so mortified for you, I can’t imagine what I would have done. Actually, if I had over analyzed it to death beforehand, I might have (MIGHT HAVE, I CAN’T SWEAR ON IT) worked myself up into full paranoid mode and gone to my room or the bathroom and at least grabbed a robe or a towel, because of you know, that karma thing or that Murphy’s law thing. Because if you had put on a robe, then when you got to the door, there would have been nobody there. But which Murphy’s Law option would you have preferred?

  4. Jan

    Okay, this post flat out had me HOWLING.
    It SO sounds like something I’d do. Well, the getting caught naked. I probably wouldn’t have run, though – I’m sure the sight of this short fat lady wandering naked around her own home would have given them things to talk about for DAYS.
    Besides, I can’t run that fast.

  5. Jan

    Okay, this post flat out had me HOWLING.
    It SO sounds like something I’d do. Well, the getting caught naked. I probably wouldn’t have run, though – I’m sure the sight of this short fat lady wandering naked around her own home would have given them things to talk about for DAYS.
    Besides, I can’t run that fast.

  6. Jan

    Okay, this post flat out had me HOWLING.
    It SO sounds like something I’d do. Well, the getting caught naked. I probably wouldn’t have run, though – I’m sure the sight of this short fat lady wandering naked around her own home would have given them things to talk about for DAYS.
    Besides, I can’t run that fast.

  7. Joanne

    well, I suppose only good will come of this. You probably wont have to worry about the brush getting overgrown anymore!But be careful about that open door, critters like to come in houses that offer some cool air and a nice cool floor for their bellies to lay on.
    As alway, you leave us laughing at ourselves (how do you DO that??) My house backs onto a large city park. Yes, sliders on the back of the living room, which separates the house and the laundry room. I have taken many many naked bolts to get clothing from the dryer!
    P.S. men dont care if you are 40 or 70, if you are naked, they want to see!

  8. Joanne

    well, I suppose only good will come of this. You probably wont have to worry about the brush getting overgrown anymore!But be careful about that open door, critters like to come in houses that offer some cool air and a nice cool floor for their bellies to lay on.
    As alway, you leave us laughing at ourselves (how do you DO that??) My house backs onto a large city park. Yes, sliders on the back of the living room, which separates the house and the laundry room. I have taken many many naked bolts to get clothing from the dryer!
    P.S. men dont care if you are 40 or 70, if you are naked, they want to see!

  9. Joanne

    well, I suppose only good will come of this. You probably wont have to worry about the brush getting overgrown anymore!But be careful about that open door, critters like to come in houses that offer some cool air and a nice cool floor for their bellies to lay on.
    As alway, you leave us laughing at ourselves (how do you DO that??) My house backs onto a large city park. Yes, sliders on the back of the living room, which separates the house and the laundry room. I have taken many many naked bolts to get clothing from the dryer!
    P.S. men dont care if you are 40 or 70, if you are naked, they want to see!

  10. Lynn K.

    OOooh, ROTFLMAO!!! That’s for the morning laugh! And that’s after I ran down the hall in my underwear to grab a new shirt I had left on the kitchen table. Our neighborhood is deserted during the days. I hope….
    Go see what I donated at the Super Duper SuperWAHMz Contest!

  11. Lynn K.

    OOooh, ROTFLMAO!!! That’s for the morning laugh! And that’s after I ran down the hall in my underwear to grab a new shirt I had left on the kitchen table. Our neighborhood is deserted during the days. I hope….
    Go see what I donated at the Super Duper SuperWAHMz Contest!

  12. Lynn K.

    OOooh, ROTFLMAO!!! That’s for the morning laugh! And that’s after I ran down the hall in my underwear to grab a new shirt I had left on the kitchen table. Our neighborhood is deserted during the days. I hope….
    Go see what I donated at the Super Duper SuperWAHMz Contest!

  13. Lori

    I am sure that you made their day. It sounds beautiful where you live…how often do you get to see these creatures in your backyard? Thanks for the great laugh this morning!

  14. Lori

    I am sure that you made their day. It sounds beautiful where you live…how often do you get to see these creatures in your backyard? Thanks for the great laugh this morning!

  15. Lori

    I am sure that you made their day. It sounds beautiful where you live…how often do you get to see these creatures in your backyard? Thanks for the great laugh this morning!

  16. alntv

    Please tell me you didn’t just type that those guys were hired to “clear bushes”? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That IS a funny story! LOL

  17. alntv

    Please tell me you didn’t just type that those guys were hired to “clear bushes”? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That IS a funny story! LOL

  18. alntv

    Please tell me you didn’t just type that those guys were hired to “clear bushes”? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That IS a funny story! LOL

  19. thistle

    actually, i get caught in predicaments like this fairly frequently…i’ve learned to leave clothes in strategic spots around the house in case of guys coming to the door/working on the roof of the house next door and having full view of the bed/bedroom, standing in their backyard gardening etc etc…have i mentioned i’m in a strata where we’re all really close together? And in the good weather the door to my backyard is nearly always wide open cos of the dogs…

  20. thistle

    actually, i get caught in predicaments like this fairly frequently…i’ve learned to leave clothes in strategic spots around the house in case of guys coming to the door/working on the roof of the house next door and having full view of the bed/bedroom, standing in their backyard gardening etc etc…have i mentioned i’m in a strata where we’re all really close together? And in the good weather the door to my backyard is nearly always wide open cos of the dogs…

  21. thistle

    actually, i get caught in predicaments like this fairly frequently…i’ve learned to leave clothes in strategic spots around the house in case of guys coming to the door/working on the roof of the house next door and having full view of the bed/bedroom, standing in their backyard gardening etc etc…have i mentioned i’m in a strata where we’re all really close together? And in the good weather the door to my backyard is nearly always wide open cos of the dogs…

  22. Midlife Mama

    OMG!! I clapped my hand over my mouth and gasped, then I started laughing as I read about your predicament. I would have died on the spot. Holy crap!!
    If it had been me they’d seen, they’d have clawed out their own eyes. LOL

  23. Midlife Mama

    OMG!! I clapped my hand over my mouth and gasped, then I started laughing as I read about your predicament. I would have died on the spot. Holy crap!!
    If it had been me they’d seen, they’d have clawed out their own eyes. LOL

  24. Midlife Mama

    OMG!! I clapped my hand over my mouth and gasped, then I started laughing as I read about your predicament. I would have died on the spot. Holy crap!!
    If it had been me they’d seen, they’d have clawed out their own eyes. LOL

  25. Donna in VA

    That so sounds like something that would happen to me. What a story!
    And just think of the story those guys carry with them now too. They’ll be talking about the naked blonde chick for a long time.

  26. Donna in VA

    That so sounds like something that would happen to me. What a story!
    And just think of the story those guys carry with them now too. They’ll be talking about the naked blonde chick for a long time.

  27. Donna in VA

    That so sounds like something that would happen to me. What a story!
    And just think of the story those guys carry with them now too. They’ll be talking about the naked blonde chick for a long time.

  28. Mr. B

    Hey, I’m looking for some part time work, pool boy, gardener, house painter. Need any help around the house???????

  29. Mr. B

    Hey, I’m looking for some part time work, pool boy, gardener, house painter. Need any help around the house???????

  30. Mr. B

    Hey, I’m looking for some part time work, pool boy, gardener, house painter. Need any help around the house???????

  31. goodfather

    Your property sounds beautiful! It’s so cool that your backyard backs up to a canyon and a lake.
    I’m not going to go for the obvious joke here, about your backyard LITERALLY backing up to a canyon and a lake.
    I’m not. 😀

  32. goodfather

    Your property sounds beautiful! It’s so cool that your backyard backs up to a canyon and a lake.
    I’m not going to go for the obvious joke here, about your backyard LITERALLY backing up to a canyon and a lake.
    I’m not. 😀

  33. goodfather

    Your property sounds beautiful! It’s so cool that your backyard backs up to a canyon and a lake.
    I’m not going to go for the obvious joke here, about your backyard LITERALLY backing up to a canyon and a lake.
    I’m not. 😀

  34. Lo

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! oh my good god that is so fucking HILARIOUS. !!! i am CRYING here at work bc of this story.
    ‘my bouncing breasts and fat ass’ had me seriously gaffawing out loud. my coworkers now think im insane.
    oh you poor, poor naked lady. you made their day. they are SO gonna ‘clear brush’ in your yard EVERY DAY now!!!!
    hehehehehe i’m still laughing. heh.

  35. Lo

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! oh my good god that is so fucking HILARIOUS. !!! i am CRYING here at work bc of this story.
    ‘my bouncing breasts and fat ass’ had me seriously gaffawing out loud. my coworkers now think im insane.
    oh you poor, poor naked lady. you made their day. they are SO gonna ‘clear brush’ in your yard EVERY DAY now!!!!
    hehehehehe i’m still laughing. heh.

  36. Lo

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! oh my good god that is so fucking HILARIOUS. !!! i am CRYING here at work bc of this story.
    ‘my bouncing breasts and fat ass’ had me seriously gaffawing out loud. my coworkers now think im insane.
    oh you poor, poor naked lady. you made their day. they are SO gonna ‘clear brush’ in your yard EVERY DAY now!!!!
    hehehehehe i’m still laughing. heh.

  37. phhhst

    Landscaping on a hot day? You, my dear, were the unpredictable element that made their day.
    Great post, well told. Loved your timing.

  38. phhhst

    Landscaping on a hot day? You, my dear, were the unpredictable element that made their day.
    Great post, well told. Loved your timing.

  39. phhhst

    Landscaping on a hot day? You, my dear, were the unpredictable element that made their day.
    Great post, well told. Loved your timing.

  40. Smart Mouth Broad

    Think of it as your gift to them. You probably gave them the thrill of their lives and something to talk about for years to come.

  41. Smart Mouth Broad

    Think of it as your gift to them. You probably gave them the thrill of their lives and something to talk about for years to come.

  42. Smart Mouth Broad

    Think of it as your gift to them. You probably gave them the thrill of their lives and something to talk about for years to come.

  43. Angela

    You get yourself into these sorts of situations more than anyone else I know! I feel your pain, though. Our dryer is in our garage — on the front of the house, facing the street. I have definitely opened the door into the garage naked before only to find the garage door up and some family on bicycles riding by. Yikes!

  44. Angela

    You get yourself into these sorts of situations more than anyone else I know! I feel your pain, though. Our dryer is in our garage — on the front of the house, facing the street. I have definitely opened the door into the garage naked before only to find the garage door up and some family on bicycles riding by. Yikes!

  45. Angela

    You get yourself into these sorts of situations more than anyone else I know! I feel your pain, though. Our dryer is in our garage — on the front of the house, facing the street. I have definitely opened the door into the garage naked before only to find the garage door up and some family on bicycles riding by. Yikes!

  46. Kristan Hoffman

    LOL! First of all, I like how mountain lions, coyotes, and bobcats are of no concern, but RATTLESNAKES unnerve you.
    Second, OH MAN I worry about this kind of thing all the time. We live on the ground level of a condo unit, and we always leave our vertical blinds open and pulled halfway across the back wall of our living room, b/c that’s where the sliding door that exits onto the patio is, i.e., how we let our dog out to do his business.
    Well, sometimes we’re too lazy to close said blinds when we’ve just woken up and are not fully dressed. Or after we’ve showered and are stumbling to the laundry room for clean underwear. Or when we’re fooling around…
    Did I mention that a high school boys lives next door to us and we sometimes see him and his soccer buddies walking home past our patio for school?
    And did I emphasize how lazy we are??
    Your post should probably be a warning to me…

  47. Kristan Hoffman

    LOL! First of all, I like how mountain lions, coyotes, and bobcats are of no concern, but RATTLESNAKES unnerve you.
    Second, OH MAN I worry about this kind of thing all the time. We live on the ground level of a condo unit, and we always leave our vertical blinds open and pulled halfway across the back wall of our living room, b/c that’s where the sliding door that exits onto the patio is, i.e., how we let our dog out to do his business.
    Well, sometimes we’re too lazy to close said blinds when we’ve just woken up and are not fully dressed. Or after we’ve showered and are stumbling to the laundry room for clean underwear. Or when we’re fooling around…
    Did I mention that a high school boys lives next door to us and we sometimes see him and his soccer buddies walking home past our patio for school?
    And did I emphasize how lazy we are??
    Your post should probably be a warning to me…

  48. Kristan Hoffman

    LOL! First of all, I like how mountain lions, coyotes, and bobcats are of no concern, but RATTLESNAKES unnerve you.
    Second, OH MAN I worry about this kind of thing all the time. We live on the ground level of a condo unit, and we always leave our vertical blinds open and pulled halfway across the back wall of our living room, b/c that’s where the sliding door that exits onto the patio is, i.e., how we let our dog out to do his business.
    Well, sometimes we’re too lazy to close said blinds when we’ve just woken up and are not fully dressed. Or after we’ve showered and are stumbling to the laundry room for clean underwear. Or when we’re fooling around…
    Did I mention that a high school boys lives next door to us and we sometimes see him and his soccer buddies walking home past our patio for school?
    And did I emphasize how lazy we are??
    Your post should probably be a warning to me…

  49. Midlife Slices

    They definitely cleared the bush at your house. LOL
    I’m so famous for flashing poor unsuspecting people that show up at my house. *sigh*

  50. Midlife Slices

    They definitely cleared the bush at your house. LOL
    I’m so famous for flashing poor unsuspecting people that show up at my house. *sigh*

  51. Midlife Slices

    They definitely cleared the bush at your house. LOL
    I’m so famous for flashing poor unsuspecting people that show up at my house. *sigh*

  52. Larissa

    Okay, to make you feel a little better, I will share a story with you. In my high school days, my best friend and I had a preoccupation with being naked or at least as close to it as possible, whether indoors OR out – of course, the outdoor activity was strictly at night cause, ya know, we had SOME dignity. Heh.
    Well, one night, we were frolicking in my backyard (or just acting insane – you pick) in nothing but knee-high boots, a thong, and and open leather jackets (yeah, I know, GLAM). We spent a good hour outside in mid-November, IN CHICAGO, acting like asses.
    Fast forward to the next day… and my neighbor was grinning at me a bit lavisciouly. He then proceeded to tell me how him and his buddies all “enjoyed our show” the previous night. This is a man that has known me since I was *2*, and is 15 years older than me.
    The best part? He and his dad were scheming about trying to hook us up during my single period before I started dating my hubby… he asked me out to dinner 3 days after my relationship had started.
    His dad has a bit of a *thing* against my husband since then… especially considering we now live BETWEEN the two of them. =P
    Feel a *little* better now???

  53. Larissa

    Okay, to make you feel a little better, I will share a story with you. In my high school days, my best friend and I had a preoccupation with being naked or at least as close to it as possible, whether indoors OR out – of course, the outdoor activity was strictly at night cause, ya know, we had SOME dignity. Heh.
    Well, one night, we were frolicking in my backyard (or just acting insane – you pick) in nothing but knee-high boots, a thong, and and open leather jackets (yeah, I know, GLAM). We spent a good hour outside in mid-November, IN CHICAGO, acting like asses.
    Fast forward to the next day… and my neighbor was grinning at me a bit lavisciouly. He then proceeded to tell me how him and his buddies all “enjoyed our show” the previous night. This is a man that has known me since I was *2*, and is 15 years older than me.
    The best part? He and his dad were scheming about trying to hook us up during my single period before I started dating my hubby… he asked me out to dinner 3 days after my relationship had started.
    His dad has a bit of a *thing* against my husband since then… especially considering we now live BETWEEN the two of them. =P
    Feel a *little* better now???

  54. Larissa

    Okay, to make you feel a little better, I will share a story with you. In my high school days, my best friend and I had a preoccupation with being naked or at least as close to it as possible, whether indoors OR out – of course, the outdoor activity was strictly at night cause, ya know, we had SOME dignity. Heh.
    Well, one night, we were frolicking in my backyard (or just acting insane – you pick) in nothing but knee-high boots, a thong, and and open leather jackets (yeah, I know, GLAM). We spent a good hour outside in mid-November, IN CHICAGO, acting like asses.
    Fast forward to the next day… and my neighbor was grinning at me a bit lavisciouly. He then proceeded to tell me how him and his buddies all “enjoyed our show” the previous night. This is a man that has known me since I was *2*, and is 15 years older than me.
    The best part? He and his dad were scheming about trying to hook us up during my single period before I started dating my hubby… he asked me out to dinner 3 days after my relationship had started.
    His dad has a bit of a *thing* against my husband since then… especially considering we now live BETWEEN the two of them. =P
    Feel a *little* better now???

  55. jill prettyman

    thank for the laugh, I needed that, I wonder what they told their wives when they asked them how their day went?

  56. jill prettyman

    thank for the laugh, I needed that, I wonder what they told their wives when they asked them how their day went?

  57. jill prettyman

    thank for the laugh, I needed that, I wonder what they told their wives when they asked them how their day went?

  58. Midlife Mama

    Oh and if those guys blog? I can imagine the fodder for their blogs. “Dude! I was on this job today, and we were all working? And this lady had her back door open? And she was all like naked and shit. And she was HOT” LOL

  59. Midlife Mama

    Oh and if those guys blog? I can imagine the fodder for their blogs. “Dude! I was on this job today, and we were all working? And this lady had her back door open? And she was all like naked and shit. And she was HOT” LOL

  60. Midlife Mama

    Oh and if those guys blog? I can imagine the fodder for their blogs. “Dude! I was on this job today, and we were all working? And this lady had her back door open? And she was all like naked and shit. And she was HOT” LOL

  61. Jason

    And one of those guys has a blog. And he went home and posted all about the woman who lives next to Money Town who purposely exposes herself to helpless landscapers.
    Oh, wait. Where did I get that idea?

  62. Jason

    And one of those guys has a blog. And he went home and posted all about the woman who lives next to Money Town who purposely exposes herself to helpless landscapers.
    Oh, wait. Where did I get that idea?

  63. Jason

    And one of those guys has a blog. And he went home and posted all about the woman who lives next to Money Town who purposely exposes herself to helpless landscapers.
    Oh, wait. Where did I get that idea?

  64. Jason

    Okay, so maybe I should read the other comments before I post mine thinking I’m all witty and clever. But no! I’m like the fourth person to say what I just said.
    Well, anyway, I like you a lot!

  65. Jason

    Okay, so maybe I should read the other comments before I post mine thinking I’m all witty and clever. But no! I’m like the fourth person to say what I just said.
    Well, anyway, I like you a lot!

  66. Jason

    Okay, so maybe I should read the other comments before I post mine thinking I’m all witty and clever. But no! I’m like the fourth person to say what I just said.
    Well, anyway, I like you a lot!

  67. emmysuh

    HEY, 40 year old ass and titties is better than NO ass and titties.
    I like to tell myself stuff like that — HEY fatty ass and titties of a 21 year old are better than NO ass and titties, YES, Potential Boyfriends out there?!?!

  68. emmysuh

    HEY, 40 year old ass and titties is better than NO ass and titties.
    I like to tell myself stuff like that — HEY fatty ass and titties of a 21 year old are better than NO ass and titties, YES, Potential Boyfriends out there?!?!

  69. emmysuh

    HEY, 40 year old ass and titties is better than NO ass and titties.
    I like to tell myself stuff like that — HEY fatty ass and titties of a 21 year old are better than NO ass and titties, YES, Potential Boyfriends out there?!?!

  70. LiteralDan

    I also had the thought that I would grab something to cover up with before approaching the door, but then what would keep those bush-men coming back to work each day for the next 6 months or so?

  71. LiteralDan

    I also had the thought that I would grab something to cover up with before approaching the door, but then what would keep those bush-men coming back to work each day for the next 6 months or so?

  72. LiteralDan

    I also had the thought that I would grab something to cover up with before approaching the door, but then what would keep those bush-men coming back to work each day for the next 6 months or so?

  73. Steppingthru

    If it makes you feel better, one night I had just gotten out of the tub when I heard my washing machine let out this thunderous banging sound as it tried to spin with a lopsided load in it. I threw this little towel over my front side and ran through the house to balance the load. As I strolled back through the house and just crossed the foyer by the front door (glass) the doorbell rang and I literally jumped about 2 feet into the air and the towel fell. There standing with his nose pressed against the glass was the town pervert just stopping by after wednesday night church to say hello….What the….. Well, I ran to the bedroom and stayed there until my husband had talked to him and sent him on his way. Fell better now?

  74. Steppingthru

    If it makes you feel better, one night I had just gotten out of the tub when I heard my washing machine let out this thunderous banging sound as it tried to spin with a lopsided load in it. I threw this little towel over my front side and ran through the house to balance the load. As I strolled back through the house and just crossed the foyer by the front door (glass) the doorbell rang and I literally jumped about 2 feet into the air and the towel fell. There standing with his nose pressed against the glass was the town pervert just stopping by after wednesday night church to say hello….What the….. Well, I ran to the bedroom and stayed there until my husband had talked to him and sent him on his way. Fell better now?

  75. Steppingthru

    If it makes you feel better, one night I had just gotten out of the tub when I heard my washing machine let out this thunderous banging sound as it tried to spin with a lopsided load in it. I threw this little towel over my front side and ran through the house to balance the load. As I strolled back through the house and just crossed the foyer by the front door (glass) the doorbell rang and I literally jumped about 2 feet into the air and the towel fell. There standing with his nose pressed against the glass was the town pervert just stopping by after wednesday night church to say hello….What the….. Well, I ran to the bedroom and stayed there until my husband had talked to him and sent him on his way. Fell better now?

  76. Gregg

    The rule in our house is that if anyone is OUTSIDE your house and is looking IN your house, it is their problem what they see, not ours!

  77. Gregg

    The rule in our house is that if anyone is OUTSIDE your house and is looking IN your house, it is their problem what they see, not ours!

  78. Gregg

    The rule in our house is that if anyone is OUTSIDE your house and is looking IN your house, it is their problem what they see, not ours!

  79. Not Telling

    Good story. C’mon, admit it though, it was exhilarating to be seen naked though, wasn’t it? Embarassing, too, yes, but I’ve been caught naked a couple times and it’s sort of exciting if you ask me.
    Once, while at Caribbean beach, there were showers on the side of the building with bathrooms in it. Showers had wooden doors with latches and people use them to rinse off saltwater and to change in/out of bathing suits. There’s usually a line of a few people there. While I was completely naked, with my head leaned back rinsing my hair and eyes closed, I felt a breeze and i could tell the sunshine was on me. The door had opened wide open and I was naked in front of about 6 girls (college-aged) in line!

  80. Not Telling

    Good story. C’mon, admit it though, it was exhilarating to be seen naked though, wasn’t it? Embarassing, too, yes, but I’ve been caught naked a couple times and it’s sort of exciting if you ask me.
    Once, while at Caribbean beach, there were showers on the side of the building with bathrooms in it. Showers had wooden doors with latches and people use them to rinse off saltwater and to change in/out of bathing suits. There’s usually a line of a few people there. While I was completely naked, with my head leaned back rinsing my hair and eyes closed, I felt a breeze and i could tell the sunshine was on me. The door had opened wide open and I was naked in front of about 6 girls (college-aged) in line!

  81. Not Telling

    Good story. C’mon, admit it though, it was exhilarating to be seen naked though, wasn’t it? Embarassing, too, yes, but I’ve been caught naked a couple times and it’s sort of exciting if you ask me.
    Once, while at Caribbean beach, there were showers on the side of the building with bathrooms in it. Showers had wooden doors with latches and people use them to rinse off saltwater and to change in/out of bathing suits. There’s usually a line of a few people there. While I was completely naked, with my head leaned back rinsing my hair and eyes closed, I felt a breeze and i could tell the sunshine was on me. The door had opened wide open and I was naked in front of about 6 girls (college-aged) in line!

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