Faking Orgasms

This post may be too sexually explicit for your tastes.  If you are easily offended, I hope you'll rejoin us on another day.

When Briefcase and I first got married we lived in a small starter home.  We were both career driven and had no thoughts of beginning a family quite yet.  Next door to us lived a very conservative Catholic family.  They had three children and welcomed us to the neighborhood with open arms.  Although we got along quite well with this family, the adults at their house were much more conservative than us.  One night after a few glasses bottles of wine, my neighbor, Julie began talking.

Julie informed me she had been a nun, but had quit to get married.  Her husband had been on the path to becoming a priest when they met.  Then she went on to tell me that in their 18 years of marriage they had never gone a day without having sex a minimum of twice.  Another friend was with us and she was floored. 

"Every single day?" she asked.

Julie confessed that after 18 years of marriage they still had sex every morning upon waking and every night when they went to bed.  I had a hard time reconciling this information with the quiet, conservative, image I had of this couple.  Then Julie confessed that although she never turned down her husband, she didn't enjoy it in the least.  She laughed and said, "I moan and groan and make the appropriate noises.  He thinks I love it, and then it's over."

Hmmmm.

Wouldn't it be better for both of them if she really did love it?

Yesterday I got an email from one of my Canadian readers.  Thistle challenged me to take on the topic of fake orgasms here on Twenty Four at Heart.  Thistle included with her email, an excerpt regarding the origin of the fake orgasm scene in the movie When Harry Met Sally.  If there's a person on earth who hasn't seen this movie, I'd be surprised.  Thistle's email made me start thinking about how best to approach the topic.  Deep in thought, I went to my normal PT appointment.

Would it surprise you to hear I'm shy?  Well, I'm shy in large groups, and I'm shy with people I don't know well.  Once I reach my comfort zone, however, there's no stopping me.  I'm very comfortable at PT.  I have spent more time there than anywhere but my own home over the last few years.  I sat out in the large common area with a heating pad on my arm for twenty minutes when I arrived yesterday.  The room was packed with patients, therapists, and techs. 

"Let's talk fake orgasms," I suggested.

People at PT know me so well that no one even blinked or looked surprised.  One therapist laughed, but that was it.  A group discussion of fake orgasms began. 

First of all, every single woman present (and there were quite a few) confessed to having "faked it" on occasion.  Every.Single.Woman.  (Except for me.  I didn't talk about myself or my sex life at all, I just listened.  I'm so clever like that!)  The women didn't hesitate in the least when discussing faking it.  A few women were even pretty specific on the heavy breathing, moaning, nails scraping his back, or whatever else they do, to convince their sex partner they had an orgasm.

I thought I'd gather all sorts of interesting information to write about.  What ended up being the big surprise for me, however, was the men started talking about faking orgasms. 

I was dubious at first.

"Men don't fake it," I insisted.

"Do you know that for sure?" they countered.

Then the men's stories came out about faking orgasms.  Here are a few of the comments I heard from men:

"Sometimes I realize it's just not going to happen so I fake it."

"There are times when it's just too much work and I'm tired."

"I've never had a woman fake it with me, but I've faked it." 

In turn, I asked, "How can a woman possibly not know if a man fakes it?  An orgasm in a man leaves behind physical evidence.  How is it possible to not realize the proof is missing?"  (Especially if you, ahem … swallow?) 

(Also, I have never called it "proof" before, but I'm trying to not offend every single reader I have today.  Cum Come to think of it, I probably already have with my swallow comment.) 

The entire conversation left me wondering what's wrong with just saying, "That was nice, but I didn't have an earth shattering orgasm this time."  Does that have to mean sex was a failure? 

I flashed back to my college days.  I remember a male friend dating a girl who was a screamer.  No, I'm serious, a screamer.  You could hear her half a block away and I'm not exaggerating.  She would scream and scream at the top of her lungs during their marathon lovemaking sessions.  She would scream and then her boyfriend would brag about giving her multiple orgasms. 

The thing is, everyone could hear her.  Out of all the people who were within a half block radius, none of us thought it was real.  We all thought she was faking the whole thing.  I've often wondered if he went on to be with quiet-comers (new word!) in the future.  And if so, did he feel like a failure if they weren't breaking the sound barrier with their screams?

What do you think?  Have you faked it?  Do you know if/when your partner fakes it with you?  Do you think sex is a failure if it doesn't always lead to an orgasm?  And what do you think about men faking it?

108 Responses to “Faking Orgasms”

  1. SSG

    me, I’m a girl but not faked it. Maybe cos i haven’t slept with that many people, but if it wasn’t happening I wouldnt pretend to cum, or tell them I hadn’t. If they asked, I would just say, no, but I enjoyed it. Or i would tell them not to worry about it as some take affront to feel they haven’t “made” you cum. thank you very much i can do it myself! Anyways, once you start faking, its going to go on, and what’s the point? if i want something a certain way or they aren’t hitting my buttons so to speak, i’ll talk to them or move myself to make it work. Then pretty much i dont need to fake, cos I basically orgasm always during sex- how do you know its over otherwise? Only maybe a couple times when i’ve chosen not to cos i’ve been too tired. But I feel it’s my body, i’m having sex cos its an enjoyable thing, why make it a chore?

  2. SSG

    me, I’m a girl but not faked it. Maybe cos i haven’t slept with that many people, but if it wasn’t happening I wouldnt pretend to cum, or tell them I hadn’t. If they asked, I would just say, no, but I enjoyed it. Or i would tell them not to worry about it as some take affront to feel they haven’t “made” you cum. thank you very much i can do it myself! Anyways, once you start faking, its going to go on, and what’s the point? if i want something a certain way or they aren’t hitting my buttons so to speak, i’ll talk to them or move myself to make it work. Then pretty much i dont need to fake, cos I basically orgasm always during sex- how do you know its over otherwise? Only maybe a couple times when i’ve chosen not to cos i’ve been too tired. But I feel it’s my body, i’m having sex cos its an enjoyable thing, why make it a chore?

  3. SSG

    me, I’m a girl but not faked it. Maybe cos i haven’t slept with that many people, but if it wasn’t happening I wouldnt pretend to cum, or tell them I hadn’t. If they asked, I would just say, no, but I enjoyed it. Or i would tell them not to worry about it as some take affront to feel they haven’t “made” you cum. thank you very much i can do it myself! Anyways, once you start faking, its going to go on, and what’s the point? if i want something a certain way or they aren’t hitting my buttons so to speak, i’ll talk to them or move myself to make it work. Then pretty much i dont need to fake, cos I basically orgasm always during sex- how do you know its over otherwise? Only maybe a couple times when i’ve chosen not to cos i’ve been too tired. But I feel it’s my body, i’m having sex cos its an enjoyable thing, why make it a chore?

  4. goodfather

    Wow, you’re really opening a can of worms here, so to speak. Ahem.
    I’m a guy, and I’ve faked it. There. I said it. And it’s for the reasons you mentioned. I’m too tired, I know it’s not going to happen, etc. However, I will say that that hasn’t happened to me ever since I quit drinking. I’ve always been able to ‘ring the bell’, ‘shoot the biscuit’, ‘crab the patty’, well, you know.
    As for physical evidence: it’s amazing how saliva can simulate ejaculate on a woman’s posterior. Just sayin’.

  5. goodfather

    Wow, you’re really opening a can of worms here, so to speak. Ahem.
    I’m a guy, and I’ve faked it. There. I said it. And it’s for the reasons you mentioned. I’m too tired, I know it’s not going to happen, etc. However, I will say that that hasn’t happened to me ever since I quit drinking. I’ve always been able to ‘ring the bell’, ‘shoot the biscuit’, ‘crab the patty’, well, you know.
    As for physical evidence: it’s amazing how saliva can simulate ejaculate on a woman’s posterior. Just sayin’.

  6. goodfather

    Wow, you’re really opening a can of worms here, so to speak. Ahem.
    I’m a guy, and I’ve faked it. There. I said it. And it’s for the reasons you mentioned. I’m too tired, I know it’s not going to happen, etc. However, I will say that that hasn’t happened to me ever since I quit drinking. I’ve always been able to ‘ring the bell’, ‘shoot the biscuit’, ‘crab the patty’, well, you know.
    As for physical evidence: it’s amazing how saliva can simulate ejaculate on a woman’s posterior. Just sayin’.

  7. Middle-Aged-Woman

    I usually fake it. And it doesn’t bother me. I just love the closeness, Husband loves the orgasms. And I think men can probably fake it.

  8. Middle-Aged-Woman

    I usually fake it. And it doesn’t bother me. I just love the closeness, Husband loves the orgasms. And I think men can probably fake it.

  9. Middle-Aged-Woman

    I usually fake it. And it doesn’t bother me. I just love the closeness, Husband loves the orgasms. And I think men can probably fake it.

  10. sometimessophia

    Sure, in the past I’ve faked an orgasm or two… Sometimes I knew it just isn’t going to happen because I was tired or stressed. Sometimes it’s been easier on the guy’s feelings, because failure to bring me to orgasm wasn’t his fault. I am such a head case at times.
    Also, I think men fake orgasms… but if you know the guy really well, you can usually tell when he’s faking it.
    Senor and I are so sensitive to each other’s moods and age-related physical limitations, that lovemaking can be very sweet and fulfilling even without orgasm. Usually it happens and it’s great. Sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s okay. No need to fake it, knowing it’ll be better next time.

  11. sometimessophia

    Sure, in the past I’ve faked an orgasm or two… Sometimes I knew it just isn’t going to happen because I was tired or stressed. Sometimes it’s been easier on the guy’s feelings, because failure to bring me to orgasm wasn’t his fault. I am such a head case at times.
    Also, I think men fake orgasms… but if you know the guy really well, you can usually tell when he’s faking it.
    Senor and I are so sensitive to each other’s moods and age-related physical limitations, that lovemaking can be very sweet and fulfilling even without orgasm. Usually it happens and it’s great. Sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s okay. No need to fake it, knowing it’ll be better next time.

  12. sometimessophia

    Sure, in the past I’ve faked an orgasm or two… Sometimes I knew it just isn’t going to happen because I was tired or stressed. Sometimes it’s been easier on the guy’s feelings, because failure to bring me to orgasm wasn’t his fault. I am such a head case at times.
    Also, I think men fake orgasms… but if you know the guy really well, you can usually tell when he’s faking it.
    Senor and I are so sensitive to each other’s moods and age-related physical limitations, that lovemaking can be very sweet and fulfilling even without orgasm. Usually it happens and it’s great. Sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s okay. No need to fake it, knowing it’ll be better next time.

  13. Janine

    Never have. Don’t think my husband has either. It’s never crossed my mind to fake it. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen.

  14. Janine

    Never have. Don’t think my husband has either. It’s never crossed my mind to fake it. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen.

  15. Janine

    Never have. Don’t think my husband has either. It’s never crossed my mind to fake it. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen.

  16. alntv

    Yeah…guys fake it. I know I have and for all the reasons you’ve listed above. Sometimes, especially if it’s late at night and she does’t seem to be into it, it’s just something fun to do with your partner. It creates intimacy (especially for men) and it’s just nice being that close. In all honesty, sex is work in a lot of ways (especially with so many stresses getting in the way) and it’s like going to the gym when you have no energy. You don’t get that much out of it.

  17. alntv

    Yeah…guys fake it. I know I have and for all the reasons you’ve listed above. Sometimes, especially if it’s late at night and she does’t seem to be into it, it’s just something fun to do with your partner. It creates intimacy (especially for men) and it’s just nice being that close. In all honesty, sex is work in a lot of ways (especially with so many stresses getting in the way) and it’s like going to the gym when you have no energy. You don’t get that much out of it.

  18. alntv

    Yeah…guys fake it. I know I have and for all the reasons you’ve listed above. Sometimes, especially if it’s late at night and she does’t seem to be into it, it’s just something fun to do with your partner. It creates intimacy (especially for men) and it’s just nice being that close. In all honesty, sex is work in a lot of ways (especially with so many stresses getting in the way) and it’s like going to the gym when you have no energy. You don’t get that much out of it.

  19. EricaB

    I, for one, have NEVER, EVER faked. Why would I give you props for something that you are NOT doing right? Seriously, that is just asking for the same thing to happen over and over again.
    Honestly, DH is a little crushed when I don’t but I would rather be honest with him about it rather than boost his ego with a complete lie.
    I don’t know about men. I think that is a very good question…

  20. EricaB

    I, for one, have NEVER, EVER faked. Why would I give you props for something that you are NOT doing right? Seriously, that is just asking for the same thing to happen over and over again.
    Honestly, DH is a little crushed when I don’t but I would rather be honest with him about it rather than boost his ego with a complete lie.
    I don’t know about men. I think that is a very good question…

  21. EricaB

    I, for one, have NEVER, EVER faked. Why would I give you props for something that you are NOT doing right? Seriously, that is just asking for the same thing to happen over and over again.
    Honestly, DH is a little crushed when I don’t but I would rather be honest with him about it rather than boost his ego with a complete lie.
    I don’t know about men. I think that is a very good question…

  22. thistle

    Excellent treatment of the subject my dear…i knew you could do it, and personally i don’t think it was too explicit at all. Rather a nice mix of intellectual discussion and ‘sharing of stories’…was not expecting the guys ‘confession’ at all tho. Wow, who knew!?
    But for the record, i have this small reading disability (called ‘aging’) that has me skip/misread words some times, so when i read that line ‘Let’s all talk fake orgasms’…in my head i read ‘Let’s all fake orgasms’… so i was envisioning you and your PT-mates reenacting the Harry Met Sally scene en masse…which is pretty funny actually…all i could think was ‘she did NOT!’ LOL…
    Great Job and i’d say a successful completion of the Challenge!!

  23. thistle

    Excellent treatment of the subject my dear…i knew you could do it, and personally i don’t think it was too explicit at all. Rather a nice mix of intellectual discussion and ‘sharing of stories’…was not expecting the guys ‘confession’ at all tho. Wow, who knew!?
    But for the record, i have this small reading disability (called ‘aging’) that has me skip/misread words some times, so when i read that line ‘Let’s all talk fake orgasms’…in my head i read ‘Let’s all fake orgasms’… so i was envisioning you and your PT-mates reenacting the Harry Met Sally scene en masse…which is pretty funny actually…all i could think was ‘she did NOT!’ LOL…
    Great Job and i’d say a successful completion of the Challenge!!

  24. thistle

    Excellent treatment of the subject my dear…i knew you could do it, and personally i don’t think it was too explicit at all. Rather a nice mix of intellectual discussion and ‘sharing of stories’…was not expecting the guys ‘confession’ at all tho. Wow, who knew!?
    But for the record, i have this small reading disability (called ‘aging’) that has me skip/misread words some times, so when i read that line ‘Let’s all talk fake orgasms’…in my head i read ‘Let’s all fake orgasms’… so i was envisioning you and your PT-mates reenacting the Harry Met Sally scene en masse…which is pretty funny actually…all i could think was ‘she did NOT!’ LOL…
    Great Job and i’d say a successful completion of the Challenge!!

  25. Kelly

    I’ve sort of faked it. Just wanted to sleep but enjoyed it. He’s assumed I came, I didn’t and I didn’t correct him. Happened more than once.

  26. Kelly

    I’ve sort of faked it. Just wanted to sleep but enjoyed it. He’s assumed I came, I didn’t and I didn’t correct him. Happened more than once.

  27. Kelly

    I’ve sort of faked it. Just wanted to sleep but enjoyed it. He’s assumed I came, I didn’t and I didn’t correct him. Happened more than once.

  28. Donna in VA

    Honestly, I HAVE faked it before and was really surprised that I wasn’t busted. I don’t know how someone could NOT know. All that moaning and screaming does not an orgasm make. And I’ve had guys fake it before too. They weren’t honest about it either.
    My question is: If you’re close enough to someone to have sex, why aren’t you close enough to be more honest. Not having an orgasm isn’t a make or break deal that the sex was not “successful”. There are so many factors in a person’s mood, their day, their stresses, their whatevers that it’s not going to be 100% rockets soaring every single time. And it’s not an insult to the other person if it doesn’t happen.
    I think people need to be more honest with each other. If it didn’t work out this time, maybe next time. But dang, if it wasn’t fun trying.
    Interesting idea for a post. I’ll be back to read more of the comments.

  29. Donna in VA

    Honestly, I HAVE faked it before and was really surprised that I wasn’t busted. I don’t know how someone could NOT know. All that moaning and screaming does not an orgasm make. And I’ve had guys fake it before too. They weren’t honest about it either.
    My question is: If you’re close enough to someone to have sex, why aren’t you close enough to be more honest. Not having an orgasm isn’t a make or break deal that the sex was not “successful”. There are so many factors in a person’s mood, their day, their stresses, their whatevers that it’s not going to be 100% rockets soaring every single time. And it’s not an insult to the other person if it doesn’t happen.
    I think people need to be more honest with each other. If it didn’t work out this time, maybe next time. But dang, if it wasn’t fun trying.
    Interesting idea for a post. I’ll be back to read more of the comments.

  30. Donna in VA

    Honestly, I HAVE faked it before and was really surprised that I wasn’t busted. I don’t know how someone could NOT know. All that moaning and screaming does not an orgasm make. And I’ve had guys fake it before too. They weren’t honest about it either.
    My question is: If you’re close enough to someone to have sex, why aren’t you close enough to be more honest. Not having an orgasm isn’t a make or break deal that the sex was not “successful”. There are so many factors in a person’s mood, their day, their stresses, their whatevers that it’s not going to be 100% rockets soaring every single time. And it’s not an insult to the other person if it doesn’t happen.
    I think people need to be more honest with each other. If it didn’t work out this time, maybe next time. But dang, if it wasn’t fun trying.
    Interesting idea for a post. I’ll be back to read more of the comments.

  31. Jan

    Have I faked it?
    I, er, refuse to answer that question on the grounds it may incriminate me.
    But gawd, don’t tell Beloved that, or I’ll miss listening to his ritual rendition of “Macho Man” afterwards, and I’ve kind of gotten used to it.

  32. Jan

    Have I faked it?
    I, er, refuse to answer that question on the grounds it may incriminate me.
    But gawd, don’t tell Beloved that, or I’ll miss listening to his ritual rendition of “Macho Man” afterwards, and I’ve kind of gotten used to it.

  33. Jan

    Have I faked it?
    I, er, refuse to answer that question on the grounds it may incriminate me.
    But gawd, don’t tell Beloved that, or I’ll miss listening to his ritual rendition of “Macho Man” afterwards, and I’ve kind of gotten used to it.

  34. Christy

    Whoa, what a post I have walked into on my first visit here! LOL As for me, I don’t fake it b/c I can be honest w/my husband, and honestly, if I don’t have an orgasm 1 time–no big deal! It’s just one time–not the end of the world. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t (in the past) faked it on ocassion (just saying!)
    I’m with you though, I didn’t know guys could fake it!
    BTW–thanks for visiting my blog yesterday & commenting!

  35. Christy

    Whoa, what a post I have walked into on my first visit here! LOL As for me, I don’t fake it b/c I can be honest w/my husband, and honestly, if I don’t have an orgasm 1 time–no big deal! It’s just one time–not the end of the world. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t (in the past) faked it on ocassion (just saying!)
    I’m with you though, I didn’t know guys could fake it!
    BTW–thanks for visiting my blog yesterday & commenting!

  36. Christy

    Whoa, what a post I have walked into on my first visit here! LOL As for me, I don’t fake it b/c I can be honest w/my husband, and honestly, if I don’t have an orgasm 1 time–no big deal! It’s just one time–not the end of the world. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t (in the past) faked it on ocassion (just saying!)
    I’m with you though, I didn’t know guys could fake it!
    BTW–thanks for visiting my blog yesterday & commenting!

  37. emmysuh

    First off, be prepared to be surprised because I haven’t seen when Harry Met Sally.
    Secondly, thank you for that lovely giant title that popped up while I’m at work, I was completely unprepared and almost died making sure no professors were walking by at the time.
    Thirdly, the life of Julie the Ex Nun and her husband the ex priest sounds like something out of a movie or at least Sue Monk Kidd’s the Mermaid Chair.
    Fourthly, I can’t really be an authority on this subject, sorry for lack of input.

  38. emmysuh

    First off, be prepared to be surprised because I haven’t seen when Harry Met Sally.
    Secondly, thank you for that lovely giant title that popped up while I’m at work, I was completely unprepared and almost died making sure no professors were walking by at the time.
    Thirdly, the life of Julie the Ex Nun and her husband the ex priest sounds like something out of a movie or at least Sue Monk Kidd’s the Mermaid Chair.
    Fourthly, I can’t really be an authority on this subject, sorry for lack of input.

  39. emmysuh

    First off, be prepared to be surprised because I haven’t seen when Harry Met Sally.
    Secondly, thank you for that lovely giant title that popped up while I’m at work, I was completely unprepared and almost died making sure no professors were walking by at the time.
    Thirdly, the life of Julie the Ex Nun and her husband the ex priest sounds like something out of a movie or at least Sue Monk Kidd’s the Mermaid Chair.
    Fourthly, I can’t really be an authority on this subject, sorry for lack of input.

  40. Lo

    okay. first, i know my husband has never faked it bc hello the proof you’re talking about? yeah. let’s just say…. i notice it with my husband. REALLY NOTICE IT.
    me? yes. i’ve faked. when i was young and insecure and didn’t even really know what the fuck i was doing in that department.
    now? i am perfectly honest when i have sex. but i’m also married. and even if i don’t orgasm, and he asks me if i did, i’ll say ‘no but i don’t always need to.’ sex is enjoyable to me, the closeness. i don’t need to get off every single time. it’s not how my body works. and that’s a-okay for me.

  41. Lo

    okay. first, i know my husband has never faked it bc hello the proof you’re talking about? yeah. let’s just say…. i notice it with my husband. REALLY NOTICE IT.
    me? yes. i’ve faked. when i was young and insecure and didn’t even really know what the fuck i was doing in that department.
    now? i am perfectly honest when i have sex. but i’m also married. and even if i don’t orgasm, and he asks me if i did, i’ll say ‘no but i don’t always need to.’ sex is enjoyable to me, the closeness. i don’t need to get off every single time. it’s not how my body works. and that’s a-okay for me.

  42. Lo

    okay. first, i know my husband has never faked it bc hello the proof you’re talking about? yeah. let’s just say…. i notice it with my husband. REALLY NOTICE IT.
    me? yes. i’ve faked. when i was young and insecure and didn’t even really know what the fuck i was doing in that department.
    now? i am perfectly honest when i have sex. but i’m also married. and even if i don’t orgasm, and he asks me if i did, i’ll say ‘no but i don’t always need to.’ sex is enjoyable to me, the closeness. i don’t need to get off every single time. it’s not how my body works. and that’s a-okay for me.

  43. SSG

    totally agree with all these comments, spesh Undomestic Diva, great post.

  44. SSG

    totally agree with all these comments, spesh Undomestic Diva, great post.

  45. SSG

    totally agree with all these comments, spesh Undomestic Diva, great post.

  46. Cathouse Teri

    I have never faked it, but that is only because I see no reason to do such a thing. I don’t like fake things or fake people, so I certainly do not encourage fakeness in myself. I think it is very possible to enjoy sex without having an orgasm. Especially if you are with a long term partner. It’s just not going to be earth shattering GREAT every time, but it is certainly enjoyably great every time. I believe a man could easily fake it. Especially in this world of condoms. He could fake finishing up, pull out and run off to clean up before she even realizes he’s still hard.
    It seems that women fake orgasm so the man will feel good about his “performance.” We know this is not only very important to a man, but is also a turn on in itself ~ knowing you’re good at what you’re doing. Men and women alike want to know that we are desired and can follow through with pleasing the one who desires us.
    But for men who fake it, I believe it’s likely that they may not be able to cum and they are just tired of trying, but don’t want to admit that it’s just not working this time. So they fake it to get it over with. Then again, I’m sure there are also some women who fake it for this reason. She thinks he’s waiting for her to finish before he will, so she fakes it to get him to. And yes, some men are faking it to make her feel good about her performance, too.
    All of this seems terribly silly and quite contrary to the basis of intimacy to me.
    If you are a couple, made up of two secure people who don’t have to try to be what they are not, then there will never be a need to fake things ~ on any level.
    This does not mean, however, that I think it’s appropriate to say, “That was nice, but I didn’t have an earth shattering orgasm this time.” As inappropriate as saying, “I like the gift, but I don’t love it.”
    You just wouldn’t say anything like that.
    In conclusion, though I would like to say that a person can NOT say “I’ve never had a man/woman fake it with me.” You can only know whether you have. You can never know whether your partner has.
    Okay wait. A better conclusion regarding swallowing. Chris Rock was talking about how hard it is for a man to go backward sexually. Once he has tried and enjoyed something, he cannot go back and not have that in his life. He went on to describe how wonderful it is when you find out what that feels like to have a woman swallow. He then says that half of the women listening right now are just grossed out at the prospect. The other half are in relationships!

  47. Cathouse Teri

    I have never faked it, but that is only because I see no reason to do such a thing. I don’t like fake things or fake people, so I certainly do not encourage fakeness in myself. I think it is very possible to enjoy sex without having an orgasm. Especially if you are with a long term partner. It’s just not going to be earth shattering GREAT every time, but it is certainly enjoyably great every time. I believe a man could easily fake it. Especially in this world of condoms. He could fake finishing up, pull out and run off to clean up before she even realizes he’s still hard.
    It seems that women fake orgasm so the man will feel good about his “performance.” We know this is not only very important to a man, but is also a turn on in itself ~ knowing you’re good at what you’re doing. Men and women alike want to know that we are desired and can follow through with pleasing the one who desires us.
    But for men who fake it, I believe it’s likely that they may not be able to cum and they are just tired of trying, but don’t want to admit that it’s just not working this time. So they fake it to get it over with. Then again, I’m sure there are also some women who fake it for this reason. She thinks he’s waiting for her to finish before he will, so she fakes it to get him to. And yes, some men are faking it to make her feel good about her performance, too.
    All of this seems terribly silly and quite contrary to the basis of intimacy to me.
    If you are a couple, made up of two secure people who don’t have to try to be what they are not, then there will never be a need to fake things ~ on any level.
    This does not mean, however, that I think it’s appropriate to say, “That was nice, but I didn’t have an earth shattering orgasm this time.” As inappropriate as saying, “I like the gift, but I don’t love it.”
    You just wouldn’t say anything like that.
    In conclusion, though I would like to say that a person can NOT say “I’ve never had a man/woman fake it with me.” You can only know whether you have. You can never know whether your partner has.
    Okay wait. A better conclusion regarding swallowing. Chris Rock was talking about how hard it is for a man to go backward sexually. Once he has tried and enjoyed something, he cannot go back and not have that in his life. He went on to describe how wonderful it is when you find out what that feels like to have a woman swallow. He then says that half of the women listening right now are just grossed out at the prospect. The other half are in relationships!

  48. Cathouse Teri

    I have never faked it, but that is only because I see no reason to do such a thing. I don’t like fake things or fake people, so I certainly do not encourage fakeness in myself. I think it is very possible to enjoy sex without having an orgasm. Especially if you are with a long term partner. It’s just not going to be earth shattering GREAT every time, but it is certainly enjoyably great every time. I believe a man could easily fake it. Especially in this world of condoms. He could fake finishing up, pull out and run off to clean up before she even realizes he’s still hard.
    It seems that women fake orgasm so the man will feel good about his “performance.” We know this is not only very important to a man, but is also a turn on in itself ~ knowing you’re good at what you’re doing. Men and women alike want to know that we are desired and can follow through with pleasing the one who desires us.
    But for men who fake it, I believe it’s likely that they may not be able to cum and they are just tired of trying, but don’t want to admit that it’s just not working this time. So they fake it to get it over with. Then again, I’m sure there are also some women who fake it for this reason. She thinks he’s waiting for her to finish before he will, so she fakes it to get him to. And yes, some men are faking it to make her feel good about her performance, too.
    All of this seems terribly silly and quite contrary to the basis of intimacy to me.
    If you are a couple, made up of two secure people who don’t have to try to be what they are not, then there will never be a need to fake things ~ on any level.
    This does not mean, however, that I think it’s appropriate to say, “That was nice, but I didn’t have an earth shattering orgasm this time.” As inappropriate as saying, “I like the gift, but I don’t love it.”
    You just wouldn’t say anything like that.
    In conclusion, though I would like to say that a person can NOT say “I’ve never had a man/woman fake it with me.” You can only know whether you have. You can never know whether your partner has.
    Okay wait. A better conclusion regarding swallowing. Chris Rock was talking about how hard it is for a man to go backward sexually. Once he has tried and enjoyed something, he cannot go back and not have that in his life. He went on to describe how wonderful it is when you find out what that feels like to have a woman swallow. He then says that half of the women listening right now are just grossed out at the prospect. The other half are in relationships!

  49. phhhst

    I think both you and thistle are amazing. You – great post. Thistle – cracked me up with her skim reading visualization.
    I think one of the great things about marriage is not faking. It’s OK to say, not this time, but I still enjoyed it.
    When I was younger I used to fake it when it didn’t happen.

  50. phhhst

    I think both you and thistle are amazing. You – great post. Thistle – cracked me up with her skim reading visualization.
    I think one of the great things about marriage is not faking. It’s OK to say, not this time, but I still enjoyed it.
    When I was younger I used to fake it when it didn’t happen.

  51. phhhst

    I think both you and thistle are amazing. You – great post. Thistle – cracked me up with her skim reading visualization.
    I think one of the great things about marriage is not faking. It’s OK to say, not this time, but I still enjoyed it.
    When I was younger I used to fake it when it didn’t happen.

  52. Kristan Hoffman

    Ditto Janine and EricaB, although sub out husband for bf.
    Also, “(Except for me. I didn’t talk about myself or my sex life at all, I just listened. I’m so clever like that!)” = cheater! 😛
    Also also, HOW CAN A GUY FAKE IT? I saw goodfather’s comment, but that only works in certain cases… o_O

  53. Kristan Hoffman

    Ditto Janine and EricaB, although sub out husband for bf.
    Also, “(Except for me. I didn’t talk about myself or my sex life at all, I just listened. I’m so clever like that!)” = cheater! 😛
    Also also, HOW CAN A GUY FAKE IT? I saw goodfather’s comment, but that only works in certain cases… o_O

  54. Kristan Hoffman

    Ditto Janine and EricaB, although sub out husband for bf.
    Also, “(Except for me. I didn’t talk about myself or my sex life at all, I just listened. I’m so clever like that!)” = cheater! 😛
    Also also, HOW CAN A GUY FAKE IT? I saw goodfather’s comment, but that only works in certain cases… o_O

  55. dadshouse

    I have never faked an orgasm! I bristle at the thought. I don’t get enough sex. Why would I fake it when I did get laid? (I’m a single dad, so it’s not like I have a nightly bed buddy who turns her back and I have to nudge. If I get a woman in my bed, we’ll go at it all night.)

  56. dadshouse

    I have never faked an orgasm! I bristle at the thought. I don’t get enough sex. Why would I fake it when I did get laid? (I’m a single dad, so it’s not like I have a nightly bed buddy who turns her back and I have to nudge. If I get a woman in my bed, we’ll go at it all night.)

  57. dadshouse

    I have never faked an orgasm! I bristle at the thought. I don’t get enough sex. Why would I fake it when I did get laid? (I’m a single dad, so it’s not like I have a nightly bed buddy who turns her back and I have to nudge. If I get a woman in my bed, we’ll go at it all night.)

  58. Sandra

    Before marriage I faked it, but now with my husband I just tell him, It’s not gonna happen.

  59. Sandra

    Before marriage I faked it, but now with my husband I just tell him, It’s not gonna happen.

  60. Sandra

    Before marriage I faked it, but now with my husband I just tell him, It’s not gonna happen.

  61. Linda

    *blushing* I don’t know why! I’m not usually shy. Maybe it’s like you said I don’t know you (or all these other people reading here) very well.
    O.K. so, ahem, yes I have. No I didn’t know men could. I don’t think mine has.
    Plus – what Donna in VA said. All that.

  62. Linda

    *blushing* I don’t know why! I’m not usually shy. Maybe it’s like you said I don’t know you (or all these other people reading here) very well.
    O.K. so, ahem, yes I have. No I didn’t know men could. I don’t think mine has.
    Plus – what Donna in VA said. All that.

  63. Linda

    *blushing* I don’t know why! I’m not usually shy. Maybe it’s like you said I don’t know you (or all these other people reading here) very well.
    O.K. so, ahem, yes I have. No I didn’t know men could. I don’t think mine has.
    Plus – what Donna in VA said. All that.

  64. mama llama

    Alas, you touch here one reason why my marriage has not worked. I have never orgasmed with my husband. And when I have tried to guide him, I received the response of “I know what I’m doing” and that was that. It was to the point, over two years ago since I have last had sex with him, that I would just let him do what he wanted to do then cry out of pure, utter frustration. I am much better off now not being so disappointed–even though I miss GOOD sex tremendously now that I am in my prime. Too bad–feels like I’m kind of wasting that part of my life away, that could be so good with the right partner…
    Nice to know I’m not the only one who has ever had to fake it; nice that we can now talk about what was once so taboo.
    Good post. Be well.

  65. mama llama

    Alas, you touch here one reason why my marriage has not worked. I have never orgasmed with my husband. And when I have tried to guide him, I received the response of “I know what I’m doing” and that was that. It was to the point, over two years ago since I have last had sex with him, that I would just let him do what he wanted to do then cry out of pure, utter frustration. I am much better off now not being so disappointed–even though I miss GOOD sex tremendously now that I am in my prime. Too bad–feels like I’m kind of wasting that part of my life away, that could be so good with the right partner…
    Nice to know I’m not the only one who has ever had to fake it; nice that we can now talk about what was once so taboo.
    Good post. Be well.

  66. mama llama

    Alas, you touch here one reason why my marriage has not worked. I have never orgasmed with my husband. And when I have tried to guide him, I received the response of “I know what I’m doing” and that was that. It was to the point, over two years ago since I have last had sex with him, that I would just let him do what he wanted to do then cry out of pure, utter frustration. I am much better off now not being so disappointed–even though I miss GOOD sex tremendously now that I am in my prime. Too bad–feels like I’m kind of wasting that part of my life away, that could be so good with the right partner…
    Nice to know I’m not the only one who has ever had to fake it; nice that we can now talk about what was once so taboo.
    Good post. Be well.

  67. Miz Liz

    In the past, at times, yes I’ve faked it. Mostly so as not to disappoint my partner. Personally, I believe that good sex is about intimacy and with that, it’s fine not to come. Today, I wouldn’t bother to fake it – I respect myself and my partner too much.

  68. Miz Liz

    In the past, at times, yes I’ve faked it. Mostly so as not to disappoint my partner. Personally, I believe that good sex is about intimacy and with that, it’s fine not to come. Today, I wouldn’t bother to fake it – I respect myself and my partner too much.

  69. Miz Liz

    In the past, at times, yes I’ve faked it. Mostly so as not to disappoint my partner. Personally, I believe that good sex is about intimacy and with that, it’s fine not to come. Today, I wouldn’t bother to fake it – I respect myself and my partner too much.

  70. Lori

    Great topic and post by the way. I love how you get people talking so openly. Honestly, I think it has everything to do with where your are at in a relationship. I am in a great relationship with my husband and feel no need to fake it with him. He has no need to fake it with me either. We both have this confidence in each other that doesn’t require performing or being fake. I love sex weather I orgasm or not, but sometimes I am just too tired or I have too much on my mind, but I still enjoy myself…so no, I don’t think sex is a failure if both people don’t orgasm. Something can feel good and be enjoyed without being over the top. I know that sometimes it seems like my husband is trying too hard and then I stop him and get him grounded again in the knowledge that if it happens for both of us, great…if not, that it’s still good….he relaxes, which makes me relax and you know, 99% of the time it happens.
    When I have been in certain relationships, where there wasn’t the trust and security…where it felt like the man was too fragile to handle the truth, I would fake it just to not have to deal with him.
    I think there is a lot of pressure on men to perform and there is a stereotype of what is expected of guys. I think there are a lot of us women out here that do love sex, that don’t want to fake it and yet I think many of us are with men that just don’t get it.
    Great post and loved the comments!

  71. Lori

    Great topic and post by the way. I love how you get people talking so openly. Honestly, I think it has everything to do with where your are at in a relationship. I am in a great relationship with my husband and feel no need to fake it with him. He has no need to fake it with me either. We both have this confidence in each other that doesn’t require performing or being fake. I love sex weather I orgasm or not, but sometimes I am just too tired or I have too much on my mind, but I still enjoy myself…so no, I don’t think sex is a failure if both people don’t orgasm. Something can feel good and be enjoyed without being over the top. I know that sometimes it seems like my husband is trying too hard and then I stop him and get him grounded again in the knowledge that if it happens for both of us, great…if not, that it’s still good….he relaxes, which makes me relax and you know, 99% of the time it happens.
    When I have been in certain relationships, where there wasn’t the trust and security…where it felt like the man was too fragile to handle the truth, I would fake it just to not have to deal with him.
    I think there is a lot of pressure on men to perform and there is a stereotype of what is expected of guys. I think there are a lot of us women out here that do love sex, that don’t want to fake it and yet I think many of us are with men that just don’t get it.
    Great post and loved the comments!

  72. Lori

    Great topic and post by the way. I love how you get people talking so openly. Honestly, I think it has everything to do with where your are at in a relationship. I am in a great relationship with my husband and feel no need to fake it with him. He has no need to fake it with me either. We both have this confidence in each other that doesn’t require performing or being fake. I love sex weather I orgasm or not, but sometimes I am just too tired or I have too much on my mind, but I still enjoy myself…so no, I don’t think sex is a failure if both people don’t orgasm. Something can feel good and be enjoyed without being over the top. I know that sometimes it seems like my husband is trying too hard and then I stop him and get him grounded again in the knowledge that if it happens for both of us, great…if not, that it’s still good….he relaxes, which makes me relax and you know, 99% of the time it happens.
    When I have been in certain relationships, where there wasn’t the trust and security…where it felt like the man was too fragile to handle the truth, I would fake it just to not have to deal with him.
    I think there is a lot of pressure on men to perform and there is a stereotype of what is expected of guys. I think there are a lot of us women out here that do love sex, that don’t want to fake it and yet I think many of us are with men that just don’t get it.
    Great post and loved the comments!

  73. Heather

    Oh YES! Oh YES!! More, more!!
    Great post!! Absolutely loved it!
    (And yes, I have – can you tell?)

  74. Heather

    Oh YES! Oh YES!! More, more!!
    Great post!! Absolutely loved it!
    (And yes, I have – can you tell?)

  75. Heather

    Oh YES! Oh YES!! More, more!!
    Great post!! Absolutely loved it!
    (And yes, I have – can you tell?)

  76. SDdad

    Two things…
    Alcohol and condoms. Faking it is definitely possible for a man. A long session after too much to drink and you’re getting close and she starts saying “I want you to cum.” First of all that totally throws off the concentration and second, that’s generally the goal anyway. We start wondering “is she uncomfortable? Does it hurt? Is she getting tired?” and then there’s no chance of it happening anymore. Faking it is a good way to avoid questions of “what’s wrong? what can I do?” or any other idle conversation.
    Orgasm or not it’s almost always good but when it doesn’t happen there’s no need for a post-game discussion. The cause is almost always too much booze, or trying for round 3 or 4 in the same night.
    I don’t really understand why a woman would fake it. Then she’d never get what she wants because either the guy doesn’t know what he’s not doing or doesn’t care.

  77. SDdad

    Two things…
    Alcohol and condoms. Faking it is definitely possible for a man. A long session after too much to drink and you’re getting close and she starts saying “I want you to cum.” First of all that totally throws off the concentration and second, that’s generally the goal anyway. We start wondering “is she uncomfortable? Does it hurt? Is she getting tired?” and then there’s no chance of it happening anymore. Faking it is a good way to avoid questions of “what’s wrong? what can I do?” or any other idle conversation.
    Orgasm or not it’s almost always good but when it doesn’t happen there’s no need for a post-game discussion. The cause is almost always too much booze, or trying for round 3 or 4 in the same night.
    I don’t really understand why a woman would fake it. Then she’d never get what she wants because either the guy doesn’t know what he’s not doing or doesn’t care.

  78. SDdad

    Two things…
    Alcohol and condoms. Faking it is definitely possible for a man. A long session after too much to drink and you’re getting close and she starts saying “I want you to cum.” First of all that totally throws off the concentration and second, that’s generally the goal anyway. We start wondering “is she uncomfortable? Does it hurt? Is she getting tired?” and then there’s no chance of it happening anymore. Faking it is a good way to avoid questions of “what’s wrong? what can I do?” or any other idle conversation.
    Orgasm or not it’s almost always good but when it doesn’t happen there’s no need for a post-game discussion. The cause is almost always too much booze, or trying for round 3 or 4 in the same night.
    I don’t really understand why a woman would fake it. Then she’d never get what she wants because either the guy doesn’t know what he’s not doing or doesn’t care.

  79. Midlife Mama

    OMG this is such a great post. I’m so glad you just put it all out there, for everyone to see. I mean why not? That’s the beauty of this internet thing, right? We can’t see each other’s red faces and stammering. LOL
    Yes, sometimes I’ve faked it to just “get it over with” (OMG don’t tell Dr. Jekyll!!!). Guys have this enormous ego thing about giving their lover the big “O”. They feel as if they’ve failed as a man if they don’t succeed. And they will keep trying, and trying, and trying until you’re so sore you want to scream, and so you do — to make it stop. And you never, ever, ever tell, because that part of the male ego is extraordinarily fragile. You know how they are. Right Goodfather? (I know you’re there, lurking . . .).LOL
    So. Yeah. But faking it all the time? Not healthy for the relationship. That’s like lying by omission. “Was it good for you, honey?” “Oh yes!” you say sincerely, nodding hard. But then what happens is your partner thinks you love it so much you end up doing it twice a day, whether you want to or not, and your day becomes a cycle of “here we go again.” Yuck. What a way to live.
    And the whole swallowing thing? In that particular case I’d be just as happy with a fake. Nothing to, um, injest. Which IMHO is just nasty. Sorry. LOL
    Okay then. So we went there. LOL Good post!! 🙂

  80. Midlife Mama

    OMG this is such a great post. I’m so glad you just put it all out there, for everyone to see. I mean why not? That’s the beauty of this internet thing, right? We can’t see each other’s red faces and stammering. LOL
    Yes, sometimes I’ve faked it to just “get it over with” (OMG don’t tell Dr. Jekyll!!!). Guys have this enormous ego thing about giving their lover the big “O”. They feel as if they’ve failed as a man if they don’t succeed. And they will keep trying, and trying, and trying until you’re so sore you want to scream, and so you do — to make it stop. And you never, ever, ever tell, because that part of the male ego is extraordinarily fragile. You know how they are. Right Goodfather? (I know you’re there, lurking . . .).LOL
    So. Yeah. But faking it all the time? Not healthy for the relationship. That’s like lying by omission. “Was it good for you, honey?” “Oh yes!” you say sincerely, nodding hard. But then what happens is your partner thinks you love it so much you end up doing it twice a day, whether you want to or not, and your day becomes a cycle of “here we go again.” Yuck. What a way to live.
    And the whole swallowing thing? In that particular case I’d be just as happy with a fake. Nothing to, um, injest. Which IMHO is just nasty. Sorry. LOL
    Okay then. So we went there. LOL Good post!! 🙂

  81. Midlife Mama

    OMG this is such a great post. I’m so glad you just put it all out there, for everyone to see. I mean why not? That’s the beauty of this internet thing, right? We can’t see each other’s red faces and stammering. LOL
    Yes, sometimes I’ve faked it to just “get it over with” (OMG don’t tell Dr. Jekyll!!!). Guys have this enormous ego thing about giving their lover the big “O”. They feel as if they’ve failed as a man if they don’t succeed. And they will keep trying, and trying, and trying until you’re so sore you want to scream, and so you do — to make it stop. And you never, ever, ever tell, because that part of the male ego is extraordinarily fragile. You know how they are. Right Goodfather? (I know you’re there, lurking . . .).LOL
    So. Yeah. But faking it all the time? Not healthy for the relationship. That’s like lying by omission. “Was it good for you, honey?” “Oh yes!” you say sincerely, nodding hard. But then what happens is your partner thinks you love it so much you end up doing it twice a day, whether you want to or not, and your day becomes a cycle of “here we go again.” Yuck. What a way to live.
    And the whole swallowing thing? In that particular case I’d be just as happy with a fake. Nothing to, um, injest. Which IMHO is just nasty. Sorry. LOL
    Okay then. So we went there. LOL Good post!! 🙂

  82. Midlife Mama

    Oh and I have to tell you this great story: I used to date this guy who was, well, probably THE best lover I’ve ever had. I mean, this guy knew what he was doing, and did it WELL!! ::whew:: Plus, he was rather well-endowed, shall we say? Yeah. YUMM-MY!! Woo!!
    I’ve never before or since been a screamer but with him? Yeah. It. worked. Zowie! And he lived kind of out in the country but he had neighbors, just not real close neighbors. Well, one time it was a gorgeous spring evening, and he had all the windows open in the house and I was rather, um, loud apparently? Because I went home later that night and he told me the next day that the police showed up, pounding on the door demanding to search his house to see if anyone inside was hurt. Well, apparently one of his neighbors heard me screaming in the throes and thought it was agony not orgasm, so he called the police. My b/f’s ego was nearly impossible to live with for a few days after that. Imagine his intense pride in being able to tell them that no, I wasn’t hurt; that I in fact was screaming in the throes of ecstasy. Fortunately, they believed him.
    Holy crap! We were a little more circumspect after that. Circumspect meaning that we always closed the windows. Hee!!

  83. Midlife Mama

    Oh and I have to tell you this great story: I used to date this guy who was, well, probably THE best lover I’ve ever had. I mean, this guy knew what he was doing, and did it WELL!! ::whew:: Plus, he was rather well-endowed, shall we say? Yeah. YUMM-MY!! Woo!!
    I’ve never before or since been a screamer but with him? Yeah. It. worked. Zowie! And he lived kind of out in the country but he had neighbors, just not real close neighbors. Well, one time it was a gorgeous spring evening, and he had all the windows open in the house and I was rather, um, loud apparently? Because I went home later that night and he told me the next day that the police showed up, pounding on the door demanding to search his house to see if anyone inside was hurt. Well, apparently one of his neighbors heard me screaming in the throes and thought it was agony not orgasm, so he called the police. My b/f’s ego was nearly impossible to live with for a few days after that. Imagine his intense pride in being able to tell them that no, I wasn’t hurt; that I in fact was screaming in the throes of ecstasy. Fortunately, they believed him.
    Holy crap! We were a little more circumspect after that. Circumspect meaning that we always closed the windows. Hee!!

  84. Midlife Mama

    Oh and I have to tell you this great story: I used to date this guy who was, well, probably THE best lover I’ve ever had. I mean, this guy knew what he was doing, and did it WELL!! ::whew:: Plus, he was rather well-endowed, shall we say? Yeah. YUMM-MY!! Woo!!
    I’ve never before or since been a screamer but with him? Yeah. It. worked. Zowie! And he lived kind of out in the country but he had neighbors, just not real close neighbors. Well, one time it was a gorgeous spring evening, and he had all the windows open in the house and I was rather, um, loud apparently? Because I went home later that night and he told me the next day that the police showed up, pounding on the door demanding to search his house to see if anyone inside was hurt. Well, apparently one of his neighbors heard me screaming in the throes and thought it was agony not orgasm, so he called the police. My b/f’s ego was nearly impossible to live with for a few days after that. Imagine his intense pride in being able to tell them that no, I wasn’t hurt; that I in fact was screaming in the throes of ecstasy. Fortunately, they believed him.
    Holy crap! We were a little more circumspect after that. Circumspect meaning that we always closed the windows. Hee!!

  85. missy

    I am picturing you at PT leading the discussion and just cracking up! Did the Torturer comment?

  86. missy

    I am picturing you at PT leading the discussion and just cracking up! Did the Torturer comment?

  87. missy

    I am picturing you at PT leading the discussion and just cracking up! Did the Torturer comment?

  88. tracey

    After faking a few times and realizing that making a man believe I was enjoying A, B, and C more than I really did, I was only doing myself a disservice. I haven’t in YEARS AND YEARS.
    Also? It is totally possible to be a screamer and mean it. I have 3 children so I have to be quiet with my husband which is HARD. (no pun) Some people are just, um, louder…
    ONE MORE thing, my husband doesn’t have to have “proof” for sex to have been fulfilling. Especially if I had a great time!

  89. tracey

    After faking a few times and realizing that making a man believe I was enjoying A, B, and C more than I really did, I was only doing myself a disservice. I haven’t in YEARS AND YEARS.
    Also? It is totally possible to be a screamer and mean it. I have 3 children so I have to be quiet with my husband which is HARD. (no pun) Some people are just, um, louder…
    ONE MORE thing, my husband doesn’t have to have “proof” for sex to have been fulfilling. Especially if I had a great time!

  90. tracey

    After faking a few times and realizing that making a man believe I was enjoying A, B, and C more than I really did, I was only doing myself a disservice. I haven’t in YEARS AND YEARS.
    Also? It is totally possible to be a screamer and mean it. I have 3 children so I have to be quiet with my husband which is HARD. (no pun) Some people are just, um, louder…
    ONE MORE thing, my husband doesn’t have to have “proof” for sex to have been fulfilling. Especially if I had a great time!

  91. Jason

    Yeah, I guess with a condom a man could fake it and get away with it.
    But I have never faked one. It’s because I’m 99.9% effective. The .01%? I just say I’m too tired and he understands and it’s no big deal. The same happens with him once in a while.
    It is unrealistic to expect sex will end in an orgasm every single time, or to feel badly if it doesn’t. Especially in a monogomous relationship.
    Now I’m horny.

  92. Jason

    Yeah, I guess with a condom a man could fake it and get away with it.
    But I have never faked one. It’s because I’m 99.9% effective. The .01%? I just say I’m too tired and he understands and it’s no big deal. The same happens with him once in a while.
    It is unrealistic to expect sex will end in an orgasm every single time, or to feel badly if it doesn’t. Especially in a monogomous relationship.
    Now I’m horny.

  93. Jason

    Yeah, I guess with a condom a man could fake it and get away with it.
    But I have never faked one. It’s because I’m 99.9% effective. The .01%? I just say I’m too tired and he understands and it’s no big deal. The same happens with him once in a while.
    It is unrealistic to expect sex will end in an orgasm every single time, or to feel badly if it doesn’t. Especially in a monogomous relationship.
    Now I’m horny.

  94. Amy

    I didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 23, so I haven’t faked it. I’ve not been able to cum with other people doing the work, so I tend to prefer masturbation.
    I love sex, and I am vocal about it, I just never cum. Sometimes when I’ve had enough of the thrust/grunt routine and I want to have my turn I’ll step up the groans and swear words so he’ll be inspired to finish up.
    I don’t think it does anybody any good to fake it regularly. Once in a blue moon might be okay, but it is a slippery [heh] slop.

  95. Amy

    I didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 23, so I haven’t faked it. I’ve not been able to cum with other people doing the work, so I tend to prefer masturbation.
    I love sex, and I am vocal about it, I just never cum. Sometimes when I’ve had enough of the thrust/grunt routine and I want to have my turn I’ll step up the groans and swear words so he’ll be inspired to finish up.
    I don’t think it does anybody any good to fake it regularly. Once in a blue moon might be okay, but it is a slippery [heh] slop.

  96. Amy

    I didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 23, so I haven’t faked it. I’ve not been able to cum with other people doing the work, so I tend to prefer masturbation.
    I love sex, and I am vocal about it, I just never cum. Sometimes when I’ve had enough of the thrust/grunt routine and I want to have my turn I’ll step up the groans and swear words so he’ll be inspired to finish up.
    I don’t think it does anybody any good to fake it regularly. Once in a blue moon might be okay, but it is a slippery [heh] slop.

  97. Liz C

    Hi, I followed you from your comment on Jen’s site. How I not check out a post about faking orgasms?!?
    I used to occasionally fake it in my (28-year) marriage, but not regularly. Towards the end, I would just avoid intimacy altogether.
    After the divorce, when I started dating my new guy, it was really hard to not fake at the beginning. Believe it or not, it’s not easy to learn how to orgasm with someone new after a couple of decades with the same person!
    But as our relationship deepened, I decided I was not going to fake it. It’s OK sometimes not to. Sometimes if I can’t, I have ’emotional orgasms’ along with him and that’s plenty for me. But usually I do pretty well.
    Our average age is 50 and it ain’t always as easy or automatic as it is when we were younger. But we do OK for a couple of old folks.
    I could totally see where a guy could fake it. I might not even notice until the next day, if the action was wet enough. But I don’t think my guy does!
    🙂

  98. Liz C

    Hi, I followed you from your comment on Jen’s site. How I not check out a post about faking orgasms?!?
    I used to occasionally fake it in my (28-year) marriage, but not regularly. Towards the end, I would just avoid intimacy altogether.
    After the divorce, when I started dating my new guy, it was really hard to not fake at the beginning. Believe it or not, it’s not easy to learn how to orgasm with someone new after a couple of decades with the same person!
    But as our relationship deepened, I decided I was not going to fake it. It’s OK sometimes not to. Sometimes if I can’t, I have ’emotional orgasms’ along with him and that’s plenty for me. But usually I do pretty well.
    Our average age is 50 and it ain’t always as easy or automatic as it is when we were younger. But we do OK for a couple of old folks.
    I could totally see where a guy could fake it. I might not even notice until the next day, if the action was wet enough. But I don’t think my guy does!
    🙂

  99. Liz C

    Hi, I followed you from your comment on Jen’s site. How I not check out a post about faking orgasms?!?
    I used to occasionally fake it in my (28-year) marriage, but not regularly. Towards the end, I would just avoid intimacy altogether.
    After the divorce, when I started dating my new guy, it was really hard to not fake at the beginning. Believe it or not, it’s not easy to learn how to orgasm with someone new after a couple of decades with the same person!
    But as our relationship deepened, I decided I was not going to fake it. It’s OK sometimes not to. Sometimes if I can’t, I have ’emotional orgasms’ along with him and that’s plenty for me. But usually I do pretty well.
    Our average age is 50 and it ain’t always as easy or automatic as it is when we were younger. But we do OK for a couple of old folks.
    I could totally see where a guy could fake it. I might not even notice until the next day, if the action was wet enough. But I don’t think my guy does!
    🙂

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