I wonder how often other people humiliate themselves?
Just curious, that's all.
I know a man who is an asshole. Not a "sort-of" asshole like we all tend to run into everyday. No, this man is the king of assholes. In fact, for the remainder of this post let's just call him King Asshole.
I despise him. There are very few people I've ever said that about. I do though. I loathe him. I kind of enjoy the fact that I have someone to dislike so intensely. I almost think it's healthy to have a villain in your life. As long as it's kept in perspective and you don't become obsessed with the person or waste too much time on them it can be a nice outlet to hate really dislike someone.
That's normal, right?!
So anyway, of course King Asshole lives in Money Town. He makes most of the Money Town residents look like paupers with the amount of money he has and the manner he throws it around. He is an arrogant, angry, rich, ass. ASS.
King Asshole is the type of person who thinks every living creature on earth is beneath him. He's convinced he can "buy" anyone. He also reeks of chauvinism. He's disliked me from the moment we met about eight months ago. I think he dislikes me because I'm completely unimpressed by his wealth or demeanor. Clearly, I'm not intimidated by him which is probably an affront to his entire sense of being. I could tell you several King Asshole stories, but I'll save them for another day.
In any case, it's occasionally necessary for Briefcase to have some contact with King Asshole due to his work. Sometimes there are social functions where we have to be in the same vicinity. I do my best to avoid King Asshole and minimize our time together. I'm quite convinced he intentionally tries to aggravate me. He's like that.
When I got home from Santa Barbara I was even more behind on emails than when I left. I was busy having too much fun while I was gone and didn't get anything done while away. As I started sifting through emails yesterday, I found one from King Asshole. It was for Briefcase, but somehow "accidentally" got sent to me.
The first three sentences of the email were in regard to an event Briefcase will be attending. Then King Asshole commented, "I thought I'd also mention, the last time I ran into PR he seemed overly focused on baseball. Being a more balanced child would probably lead to a happier life."
I'm not shitting you!
Oh, there are so many directions I could go off on here. PR is obsessed with baseball. Every person he's ever met knows that and it's been the case since the kid was about a year old. We've signed him up for soccer, basketball, swimming – you name it. The kid looooooooves his baseball. And no, we don't force it down his throat. In fact, we were concerned about the long term wear and tear on his arm and made him take last summer off. He was not a happy kid about that decision.
How dare King Asshole criticize our parenting skills? At all. Let alone, over something like that. It's not like I've been drinking beers with my 13 year old. Who the hell is he, the new parenting guru just because he's so filthy rich?
So I did the only reasonable thing I could. Knowing I'd say something inappropriate if I responded, I kept my cool. I've been really working on that. The email was for Briefcase anyway. I forwarded it on to Briefcase with a note that said:
"Look what ASSHOLE sent! Can you believe it? If I were you I wouldn't even bother to respond. In fact, if I were you I'd hit 'delete' and hope King Asshole disappeared right along with his dumbshit email."
Except a minute later I realized I hadn't hit "forward" at all. No, I had hit "reply". My note to Briefcase went straight to King Asshole himself.
When I told Briefcase he actually laughed. He thought it was "pretty amusing". He said he's going to wait a few days and then respond to the email as if he just got it and knew nothing about my little … mistake. He doesn't plan to acknowledge King Asshole's comments about PR at all when he responds.
I'm cringing a little at my own error. Even though I think my response was warranted, I certainly didn't set out to create waves.
I never do!
Make me feel better, please! Have any of you ever accidentally hit "send" when you shouldn't have?