What the ?

Almost every evening I take a look at Twenty Four At Heart's stats.  How many visitors came today?  What part of the world did they come from?  If they're a new visitor, how did they find me?  On a regular basis I share with you humorous searches which have resulted in people stopping in.  As Twenty Four At Heart has grown, the searches seem to become more and more bizarre.  They've become my evening entertainment.  Since I find them so amusing, I'm assuming they make you smile too.  Here are some of the funniest recent searches.  (Search in bold typeface, my reaction in standard type.) 

Is thinking about sex all the time the same thing as lusting?  Yes, definitely.

My wife is a swinger  I'm sorry.

Is money important?  Only if you have bills to pay.

Sexy fatty women in bathing suits  Hmmm.

Invisible pervert  They're the ones we all need to worry about.

I want my neighbor naked  Do you?

Lost my gay friend  I'm sorry!

Totally naked backyard workouts  Do you live in a warm climate?

My wife is nude in the pool  Why are you on the computer?

Cougar dating in the OC  We've got lots of that!

Big boobs extended  Why???

What is a lascivious woman?  Probably one you'd like.

Wife saw naked pool service  Was she intrigued?

Big bulge in jockstrap  Congratulations.

Neck to chin ugly  Life isn't fair, is it?

Nudist beach for families  Don't get sunburned!

Swimsuit pulled down  You're kind of creepy.

Transparent jock cup  Well, okay …?

Sunbathing in jockstrap  Why???

Heart anklet for swinger  Is this kind of like wearing white?

Your love in the outfield  I've had this fantasy too!

Submitted pics of wife's boobs  Maybe they didn't like them as much as you do?

Real women don't have children  Of course, that makes sense.

Mini skirt shock absorber  ??

Hot cougar ladies  Maybe you should have tried Google Images?

How to deal with losing my friend to someone else?  That hurts.

Why can't I be affectionate?  Start by just holding her hand.

A girl after my own heart  Thank you!

Procrastinating boobs  I'm confused.

How to do a heart bikini wax?  I didn't know people did this?  Can you get a design of cupid with arrows also?

Dating scene in the OC?  It's insane.

Pregnant bathing suit vagina  WTF??

Women need to talk  So do men.

First time as a naturist  Good luck with that.

Blonde in bathing suit  But I will never post pictures of myself in a bathing suit!

Pictures of pre-teens in panties  Go away perv, you're not welcome here.

See through swimsuits  Why bother?  Become a naturist.

How old for neck lift?  When you look like a turkey, it's time.

Break-up not affectionate enough  There aren't many affectionate break-ups.

Things to do with a jockstrap  Make a collage?

Should I compliment my sister on her cleavage?  Eww no!  And stop looking!

My friend Jan, from Jan's Sushi Bar, is giving away a $25 Amazon gift certificate.  Jan is also an amazing cook.  If you pay her a visit you might find some great new recipes!

60 Responses to “What the ?”

  1. SSG

    HAHHAHAHAH!!!! too funny! this had me in stiches at work, especially “Neck to chin ugly: Life isn’t fair, is it?”
    HHAHAHAHA
    but also the searches were a bit scary… is 90% of the internet porn, or people looking for porn? hope you got a lot of “normal” searches too!

  2. SSG

    HAHHAHAHAH!!!! too funny! this had me in stiches at work, especially “Neck to chin ugly: Life isn’t fair, is it?”
    HHAHAHAHA
    but also the searches were a bit scary… is 90% of the internet porn, or people looking for porn? hope you got a lot of “normal” searches too!

  3. SSG

    HAHHAHAHAH!!!! too funny! this had me in stiches at work, especially “Neck to chin ugly: Life isn’t fair, is it?”
    HHAHAHAHA
    but also the searches were a bit scary… is 90% of the internet porn, or people looking for porn? hope you got a lot of “normal” searches too!

  4. Helena

    HAHAHA! I can’t believe how many funny searches you get. I’m intrigued by the “pregnant bathing suit vagina”. Might have to Google it myself… oh no, pointless. I’ll just end up on Twentyfour.

  5. Helena

    HAHAHA! I can’t believe how many funny searches you get. I’m intrigued by the “pregnant bathing suit vagina”. Might have to Google it myself… oh no, pointless. I’ll just end up on Twentyfour.

  6. Helena

    HAHAHA! I can’t believe how many funny searches you get. I’m intrigued by the “pregnant bathing suit vagina”. Might have to Google it myself… oh no, pointless. I’ll just end up on Twentyfour.

  7. alntv

    Are these ALL searches that led to your site??? That…is kinda strange…
    LOL

  8. alntv

    Are these ALL searches that led to your site??? That…is kinda strange…
    LOL

  9. alntv

    Are these ALL searches that led to your site??? That…is kinda strange…
    LOL

  10. Donna in VA

    You’ve got some wild searches there. I always enjoy looking at how people found my site and I am always stunned to see what I find.
    But “pregnant bathing suit vagina”?. . . creeeeepy!

  11. Donna in VA

    You’ve got some wild searches there. I always enjoy looking at how people found my site and I am always stunned to see what I find.
    But “pregnant bathing suit vagina”?. . . creeeeepy!

  12. Donna in VA

    You’ve got some wild searches there. I always enjoy looking at how people found my site and I am always stunned to see what I find.
    But “pregnant bathing suit vagina”?. . . creeeeepy!

  13. Kristan Hoffman

    “Nudist beach for families”
    Somehow yours is not the reaction I would have had. More like, “… WTF HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS?”
    (I’m not a prude, and I get the whole European thing about “Why are Americans so afraid of their own bodies but loooove to see bullet wounds and explosions?”, BUT. I don’t think nude beaches are the way to help American children embrace their sexuality.)

  14. Kristan Hoffman

    “Nudist beach for families”
    Somehow yours is not the reaction I would have had. More like, “… WTF HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS?”
    (I’m not a prude, and I get the whole European thing about “Why are Americans so afraid of their own bodies but loooove to see bullet wounds and explosions?”, BUT. I don’t think nude beaches are the way to help American children embrace their sexuality.)

  15. Kristan Hoffman

    “Nudist beach for families”
    Somehow yours is not the reaction I would have had. More like, “… WTF HOW OLD ARE YOUR KIDS?”
    (I’m not a prude, and I get the whole European thing about “Why are Americans so afraid of their own bodies but loooove to see bullet wounds and explosions?”, BUT. I don’t think nude beaches are the way to help American children embrace their sexuality.)

  16. Linda

    Hmmmm…if I title my next post “Hot Blonde Babes in Bikini’s having Sex on the Beach” do you think it will increase the traffic at my site? Um, maybe not. Wrong kind of traffic.

  17. Linda

    Hmmmm…if I title my next post “Hot Blonde Babes in Bikini’s having Sex on the Beach” do you think it will increase the traffic at my site? Um, maybe not. Wrong kind of traffic.

  18. Linda

    Hmmmm…if I title my next post “Hot Blonde Babes in Bikini’s having Sex on the Beach” do you think it will increase the traffic at my site? Um, maybe not. Wrong kind of traffic.

  19. Lynn K.

    One of my faves from my blog is “dirty piggy banks”. Makes me snicker : )
    Have you entered to win Petunia Pig?

  20. Lynn K.

    One of my faves from my blog is “dirty piggy banks”. Makes me snicker : )
    Have you entered to win Petunia Pig?

  21. Lynn K.

    One of my faves from my blog is “dirty piggy banks”. Makes me snicker : )
    Have you entered to win Petunia Pig?

  22. Heather

    HAHAHA So funny! My favorites were Big Bulge in jockstrap – Congratulations!! ha ha And your response to love in the outfield. Ha ha! Cracked me up!

  23. Heather

    HAHAHA So funny! My favorites were Big Bulge in jockstrap – Congratulations!! ha ha And your response to love in the outfield. Ha ha! Cracked me up!

  24. Heather

    HAHAHA So funny! My favorites were Big Bulge in jockstrap – Congratulations!! ha ha And your response to love in the outfield. Ha ha! Cracked me up!

  25. goodfather

    Sorry! ‘Transparent jock cup’ was me, I’m not sure how I ended up on your site after that search. I’m so embarrassed! You know how you want to be protected, and still be able to SEE that you’re protected…? Uh…

  26. goodfather

    Sorry! ‘Transparent jock cup’ was me, I’m not sure how I ended up on your site after that search. I’m so embarrassed! You know how you want to be protected, and still be able to SEE that you’re protected…? Uh…

  27. goodfather

    Sorry! ‘Transparent jock cup’ was me, I’m not sure how I ended up on your site after that search. I’m so embarrassed! You know how you want to be protected, and still be able to SEE that you’re protected…? Uh…

  28. Jan

    “Procrastinating boobs” and “pregnant bathing suit vagina” are hands-down my favorites.
    And it’s SO good to know that I’m not the only victim of search terms that make you go “What the HELL????”

  29. Jan

    “Procrastinating boobs” and “pregnant bathing suit vagina” are hands-down my favorites.
    And it’s SO good to know that I’m not the only victim of search terms that make you go “What the HELL????”

  30. Jan

    “Procrastinating boobs” and “pregnant bathing suit vagina” are hands-down my favorites.
    And it’s SO good to know that I’m not the only victim of search terms that make you go “What the HELL????”

  31. thistle

    you do have a list of really bizarre ones…today i had ‘didn’t take leaves’…?!what does that mean??! What leaves?!

  32. thistle

    you do have a list of really bizarre ones…today i had ‘didn’t take leaves’…?!what does that mean??! What leaves?!

  33. thistle

    you do have a list of really bizarre ones…today i had ‘didn’t take leaves’…?!what does that mean??! What leaves?!

  34. Mike

    The one about his sister’s cleavage? Shit, weird people out there. Really funny post though. Good job!

  35. Mike

    The one about his sister’s cleavage? Shit, weird people out there. Really funny post though. Good job!

  36. Mike

    The one about his sister’s cleavage? Shit, weird people out there. Really funny post though. Good job!

  37. phhhst

    Too, too funny. And some weird. I don’t know how to tell that on the stats, but am curious now…

  38. phhhst

    Too, too funny. And some weird. I don’t know how to tell that on the stats, but am curious now…

  39. phhhst

    Too, too funny. And some weird. I don’t know how to tell that on the stats, but am curious now…

  40. Bev

    LOL!!! I don’t get searches like that, but I don’t get the number of hits you probably do either. Kinda makes you wonder about people doesn’t it??

  41. Bev

    LOL!!! I don’t get searches like that, but I don’t get the number of hits you probably do either. Kinda makes you wonder about people doesn’t it??

  42. Bev

    LOL!!! I don’t get searches like that, but I don’t get the number of hits you probably do either. Kinda makes you wonder about people doesn’t it??

  43. amyz5

    haha. i do the same thing. my fave last month was ‘men covered in tampons’ and this month: ‘fat man covered in honey’
    trying to figure out why my readers are always covering men with stuff.

  44. amyz5

    haha. i do the same thing. my fave last month was ‘men covered in tampons’ and this month: ‘fat man covered in honey’
    trying to figure out why my readers are always covering men with stuff.

  45. amyz5

    haha. i do the same thing. my fave last month was ‘men covered in tampons’ and this month: ‘fat man covered in honey’
    trying to figure out why my readers are always covering men with stuff.

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