A Shrink in a Book

I'm still hanging out while I wait for my sex toy gift basket to arrive.  I suppose you'll want to hear about it when it arrives?  What happens if I can't figure out what something is used for, will you explain it to me?

I've talked a lot about male/female relationships and sex on this site.  Maybe it's because I'm now in my forties twenty four, but it seems like just about everyone I know is dealing with stuff lately.  I have a wide age-range of friends, but regardless of age it seems they all are delving into issues lately.  I listen to them, and I bring a lot of those issues right here to Twenty Four At Heart for discussion.

The term "midlife crisis" seems to come up on a weekly basis with friends from the ages of 35-65.  I'll be honest, it's freaking me out a little bit.  I've had two close friends tell me they're getting divorced in the last week.  I'm waiting for Briefcase to come home from a business trip with an 18 year old, skanky ho girlfriend any day now.  I'm looking myself in the mirror and wondering how much do I really like the Fed-Ex man's package?  (Let's be honest, it's been looking pretty good!) 

Lately, life is just getting a little weird.

For awhile I contributed my own sense of insanity confusion to my car accident.  I've always been a strong, independent woman.  I was the one who got everything done for everybody else, always. In one car-shattering instant I lost my independence, my sense of self, and (not trying to be too dramatic) my very sense of who I am. 

Fortunately, every day that goes by I feel a little bit better not just physically, but also mentally and emotionally.  I'm getting my life back together day by day, and although it will never be the same life, I'm trying to make it a good life.  I've noticed, however, that as I rebuild my life, the lives of many friends seem to be falling apart.

I have a friend whose husband has become impotent.  They haven't had sex in over a year. I might re-gift a toy from my sex toy gift basket to her.  I have another friend going through menopause and her husband has discovered Viagra. Viagra meets menopause equals a lot of problems.  

As I mentioned before, two of my friends have announced divorces in the last week alone.  One because the wife "needs to find herself" (she's in her mid-thirties) and the second because she walked in on her husband having an affair.  Divorced friends tell me they've "given up" on the idea of ever getting married again, but miss "companionship." 

I've seen my "empty nester" friends delve into a flurry of activities.  Yoga, tennis, volunteer work, far-reaching searches for spirituality, and other assorted activities.  I've seen some become "hover" parents as they attempt to stay intimately involved in their children's lives rather than cut the apron strings when the kids move out to begin their own lives. Sometimes I wonder, what exactly, is going on with everyone?

The other day one of my friends said it would be so nice if she could have a shrink just move in to her guest room and only come out when needed.  

"I don't need therapy," she said.  "I just need occasional advice." 

I stopped in my tracks.  And then I laughed.  A few months ago I was asked by a publisher to review a book titled Occasional Therapy For Your Midlife Years by Dr. Ellyn Gamberg.  I had decided to pass on the offer.  I thought the book was very worthwhile, but I wasn't sure it would be an appropriate book to share here.  My friend's comment changed my mind. This is not a book for my younger readers (I love you younger readers!).  However, if you're 35-65 it's a good investment.

Not every issue in the book will pertain to every person.  However, I honestly think every person will find at least one or two issues in this book that they can relate to.  Sometimes it can just make you feel better to know other people are also dealing with similar issues. Dr. Gamberg touches on the following:

Maintaining your youth  (ooh baby – that's me!)

The empty nest  (that isn't me yet, but sigh – I'll cry when it is.)

Becoming an in-law or grandparent  (I'll kill my teens if this happens anytime soon. I might even put condoms in their stockings this Christmas!)

Caring for an aging parent  (My heart goes out to those of you dealing with this.)

Declining marital satisfaction  (Sex toys, anyone?!)

Finding a new meaning and purpose in your life  (This is me!  What do I do now with my life?  I've only got one working arm.)

Did you know that Dr. Gamberg says people ending long-term marriages after the age of fifty are one of the fastest growing demographics for divorce?  I'm in my forties, is that what I have to look forward to?  I think it just goes to show this mid-life crisis stuff needs to be taken very seriously.  

If your feeling lost, confused, in need of sex toys or a new partner … this may be just the book to help you feel more grounded.  

Personally, I'm starting to feel like an entire body lift is maybe not such a bad idea. (That would be the maintaining youth category!)  I'm also trying to sort out what I want to be when I grow up.  (Finding a meaning and purpose in my life.)  Do you feel like you're dealing with any of these issues?  Which ones?

78 Responses to “A Shrink in a Book”

  1. SSG

    I’m only 25 (quarter life crisis anyone?) so a year older than you šŸ™‚
    I have come out of the sheltered world of academia and just cruising along without having to think too much.
    Now I find myself thinking too much, and trying to realise what I like and what makes me happy and grow up and be a good person and have a good life. Kind of.

  2. SSG

    I’m only 25 (quarter life crisis anyone?) so a year older than you šŸ™‚
    I have come out of the sheltered world of academia and just cruising along without having to think too much.
    Now I find myself thinking too much, and trying to realise what I like and what makes me happy and grow up and be a good person and have a good life. Kind of.

  3. SSG

    I’m only 25 (quarter life crisis anyone?) so a year older than you šŸ™‚
    I have come out of the sheltered world of academia and just cruising along without having to think too much.
    Now I find myself thinking too much, and trying to realise what I like and what makes me happy and grow up and be a good person and have a good life. Kind of.

  4. sometimessophia

    Meaningful life… being a good person… doing the right thing. I’d like to be with the sheep and NOT the goats. Matthew 25:31-46…

  5. sometimessophia

    Meaningful life… being a good person… doing the right thing. I’d like to be with the sheep and NOT the goats. Matthew 25:31-46…

  6. sometimessophia

    Meaningful life… being a good person… doing the right thing. I’d like to be with the sheep and NOT the goats. Matthew 25:31-46…

  7. Jan

    I don’t know…I know I’m not worried about Beloved coming home from a business trip with an 18-year-old skanky ho girlfriend – unless, of course, she’s an independently wealthy CPA who owns her own rum distillery. Those things may just be a deal breaker.
    Empty nest syndrome is still years away, since The Young One is only in the eighth grade. None of the kids are anywhere close to making me a grandparent (although I rather wish Darling Daughter would decide to become a mother). My parents are both gone and Beloved’s parents would rather be routinely abused and neglected in a nursing home than move into the same house with me (I’m not their favorite of their kid’s spouses) so that’s not going to be a problem. I’ve decided that I’m going to do my best to age naturally yet gracefully, so regaining or maintaining my youth isn’t something I worry about and I’m fine with my career choices.
    All I really want out of life right now is a maid.
    Damn, I’m boring.

  8. Jan

    I don’t know…I know I’m not worried about Beloved coming home from a business trip with an 18-year-old skanky ho girlfriend – unless, of course, she’s an independently wealthy CPA who owns her own rum distillery. Those things may just be a deal breaker.
    Empty nest syndrome is still years away, since The Young One is only in the eighth grade. None of the kids are anywhere close to making me a grandparent (although I rather wish Darling Daughter would decide to become a mother). My parents are both gone and Beloved’s parents would rather be routinely abused and neglected in a nursing home than move into the same house with me (I’m not their favorite of their kid’s spouses) so that’s not going to be a problem. I’ve decided that I’m going to do my best to age naturally yet gracefully, so regaining or maintaining my youth isn’t something I worry about and I’m fine with my career choices.
    All I really want out of life right now is a maid.
    Damn, I’m boring.

  9. Jan

    I don’t know…I know I’m not worried about Beloved coming home from a business trip with an 18-year-old skanky ho girlfriend – unless, of course, she’s an independently wealthy CPA who owns her own rum distillery. Those things may just be a deal breaker.
    Empty nest syndrome is still years away, since The Young One is only in the eighth grade. None of the kids are anywhere close to making me a grandparent (although I rather wish Darling Daughter would decide to become a mother). My parents are both gone and Beloved’s parents would rather be routinely abused and neglected in a nursing home than move into the same house with me (I’m not their favorite of their kid’s spouses) so that’s not going to be a problem. I’ve decided that I’m going to do my best to age naturally yet gracefully, so regaining or maintaining my youth isn’t something I worry about and I’m fine with my career choices.
    All I really want out of life right now is a maid.
    Damn, I’m boring.

  10. Midlife Mama

    This is interesting. I’ll have to check out that book. And yes, having hit 50 this year, I find myself struggling with the question, “Is this all there is?” I’ve never found myself sort of adrift like this. At times I feel like cutting Dr. Jekyll loose because some days it’s just not worth the effort and I’m so sick and tired of all his moodiness. And then I think, well that would mean I’m alone. Some days, that sounds pretty good! But then I think that I’d get really lonely. Because I certainly don’t delude myself that there is anyone “better” out there. I’d still drag my own baggage into any new relationship.
    Coming to terms with life at midlife is something that seems to be universal at this age. Is it hormones (or lack thereof) that causes the unhapppiness? Is it empty nest, where couples have to reinvent themselves after the kids are gone? Truly this is a huge problem, as there are tons of books out there on the subject.
    Thanks for always having these thought-provoking posts! I love the way you address these kinds of issues on your blog.

  11. Midlife Mama

    This is interesting. I’ll have to check out that book. And yes, having hit 50 this year, I find myself struggling with the question, “Is this all there is?” I’ve never found myself sort of adrift like this. At times I feel like cutting Dr. Jekyll loose because some days it’s just not worth the effort and I’m so sick and tired of all his moodiness. And then I think, well that would mean I’m alone. Some days, that sounds pretty good! But then I think that I’d get really lonely. Because I certainly don’t delude myself that there is anyone “better” out there. I’d still drag my own baggage into any new relationship.
    Coming to terms with life at midlife is something that seems to be universal at this age. Is it hormones (or lack thereof) that causes the unhapppiness? Is it empty nest, where couples have to reinvent themselves after the kids are gone? Truly this is a huge problem, as there are tons of books out there on the subject.
    Thanks for always having these thought-provoking posts! I love the way you address these kinds of issues on your blog.

  12. Midlife Mama

    This is interesting. I’ll have to check out that book. And yes, having hit 50 this year, I find myself struggling with the question, “Is this all there is?” I’ve never found myself sort of adrift like this. At times I feel like cutting Dr. Jekyll loose because some days it’s just not worth the effort and I’m so sick and tired of all his moodiness. And then I think, well that would mean I’m alone. Some days, that sounds pretty good! But then I think that I’d get really lonely. Because I certainly don’t delude myself that there is anyone “better” out there. I’d still drag my own baggage into any new relationship.
    Coming to terms with life at midlife is something that seems to be universal at this age. Is it hormones (or lack thereof) that causes the unhapppiness? Is it empty nest, where couples have to reinvent themselves after the kids are gone? Truly this is a huge problem, as there are tons of books out there on the subject.
    Thanks for always having these thought-provoking posts! I love the way you address these kinds of issues on your blog.

  13. Donna in VA

    Yes, hence the website stating “What do you do AFTER the kids grow up?
    I’ve been divorced for 18 years, been in three different relationships since each ending for three different reasons, have successfully raised my boys, am getting over empty-nest syndrome and am STILL wondering about my life, its purpose, its direction now. And I question EVERYTHING.
    There’s a guy here at my work who is ten years younger than I am, married, miserable and he’s been flirting with me the last few weeks and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around how I feel about that. I mean, he’s always been kinda the flirty type, friendly and all, but it just seems different lately. I don’t know whether to be flattered that such a hot, younger man would find me attractive, or if I should just tell him to go home and work it out and be real. He hasn’t said anything blatant or obvious yet to spark such a reaction from me. It’s just a feeling I get.
    Another question I have is that I’m not even sure if I’m interested in any type of relationship anymore. I think I’ve gotten too cynical in my old age. I question “forever love”. Is it a fairy tale or does it really exist? I’m 47 years old, am as independent as HELL and can’t imagine a life any different.
    Does this mean that I’m going to grow old alone? Does that prospect worry me? So many questions.
    It perplexes my brain trying to figure out why people act the way they do. Why I act the way I do?
    I’m sure some people think me strange. I don’t go out. I’m not LOOKING for anyone to fill a void. I’m happy with my life as it is. I like to think that I’m a person that learns from her mistakes, from life’s lessons (and I’ve had my share). Yet, I wonder. . . Have I really given up on love? Is it out there? Is there anyone I would trust with my heart?
    So many questions. . . it makes my brain hurt. I think I’m just going to keep on doing what I’m doing – being me – Happy in Hermetville.

  14. Donna in VA

    Yes, hence the website stating “What do you do AFTER the kids grow up?
    I’ve been divorced for 18 years, been in three different relationships since each ending for three different reasons, have successfully raised my boys, am getting over empty-nest syndrome and am STILL wondering about my life, its purpose, its direction now. And I question EVERYTHING.
    There’s a guy here at my work who is ten years younger than I am, married, miserable and he’s been flirting with me the last few weeks and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around how I feel about that. I mean, he’s always been kinda the flirty type, friendly and all, but it just seems different lately. I don’t know whether to be flattered that such a hot, younger man would find me attractive, or if I should just tell him to go home and work it out and be real. He hasn’t said anything blatant or obvious yet to spark such a reaction from me. It’s just a feeling I get.
    Another question I have is that I’m not even sure if I’m interested in any type of relationship anymore. I think I’ve gotten too cynical in my old age. I question “forever love”. Is it a fairy tale or does it really exist? I’m 47 years old, am as independent as HELL and can’t imagine a life any different.
    Does this mean that I’m going to grow old alone? Does that prospect worry me? So many questions.
    It perplexes my brain trying to figure out why people act the way they do. Why I act the way I do?
    I’m sure some people think me strange. I don’t go out. I’m not LOOKING for anyone to fill a void. I’m happy with my life as it is. I like to think that I’m a person that learns from her mistakes, from life’s lessons (and I’ve had my share). Yet, I wonder. . . Have I really given up on love? Is it out there? Is there anyone I would trust with my heart?
    So many questions. . . it makes my brain hurt. I think I’m just going to keep on doing what I’m doing – being me – Happy in Hermetville.

  15. Donna in VA

    Yes, hence the website stating “What do you do AFTER the kids grow up?
    I’ve been divorced for 18 years, been in three different relationships since each ending for three different reasons, have successfully raised my boys, am getting over empty-nest syndrome and am STILL wondering about my life, its purpose, its direction now. And I question EVERYTHING.
    There’s a guy here at my work who is ten years younger than I am, married, miserable and he’s been flirting with me the last few weeks and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around how I feel about that. I mean, he’s always been kinda the flirty type, friendly and all, but it just seems different lately. I don’t know whether to be flattered that such a hot, younger man would find me attractive, or if I should just tell him to go home and work it out and be real. He hasn’t said anything blatant or obvious yet to spark such a reaction from me. It’s just a feeling I get.
    Another question I have is that I’m not even sure if I’m interested in any type of relationship anymore. I think I’ve gotten too cynical in my old age. I question “forever love”. Is it a fairy tale or does it really exist? I’m 47 years old, am as independent as HELL and can’t imagine a life any different.
    Does this mean that I’m going to grow old alone? Does that prospect worry me? So many questions.
    It perplexes my brain trying to figure out why people act the way they do. Why I act the way I do?
    I’m sure some people think me strange. I don’t go out. I’m not LOOKING for anyone to fill a void. I’m happy with my life as it is. I like to think that I’m a person that learns from her mistakes, from life’s lessons (and I’ve had my share). Yet, I wonder. . . Have I really given up on love? Is it out there? Is there anyone I would trust with my heart?
    So many questions. . . it makes my brain hurt. I think I’m just going to keep on doing what I’m doing – being me – Happy in Hermetville.

  16. Linda

    Hmmm….I seriously could’ve used a therapist at age 25. I had no clue who I was or where I was going or what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now that Iā€™m 37 (mumble, muffle, um, ok, 47) and I’ve managed to live through those years and have learned to express myself without alienating those around me(thank you inventor of Zoloft), I think, with the exception of my weight, Iā€™m finally O.K. with me.

  17. Linda

    Hmmm….I seriously could’ve used a therapist at age 25. I had no clue who I was or where I was going or what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now that Iā€™m 37 (mumble, muffle, um, ok, 47) and I’ve managed to live through those years and have learned to express myself without alienating those around me(thank you inventor of Zoloft), I think, with the exception of my weight, Iā€™m finally O.K. with me.

  18. Linda

    Hmmm….I seriously could’ve used a therapist at age 25. I had no clue who I was or where I was going or what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now that Iā€™m 37 (mumble, muffle, um, ok, 47) and I’ve managed to live through those years and have learned to express myself without alienating those around me(thank you inventor of Zoloft), I think, with the exception of my weight, Iā€™m finally O.K. with me.

  19. goodfather

    Yowza! Great topic. My mid-life crisis was nine years ago, and after surviving it, I recommend therapy to anyone ‘our’ age that’s getting divorced. I really believe that getting divorced is one of the worst things you can go through.

  20. goodfather

    Yowza! Great topic. My mid-life crisis was nine years ago, and after surviving it, I recommend therapy to anyone ‘our’ age that’s getting divorced. I really believe that getting divorced is one of the worst things you can go through.

  21. goodfather

    Yowza! Great topic. My mid-life crisis was nine years ago, and after surviving it, I recommend therapy to anyone ‘our’ age that’s getting divorced. I really believe that getting divorced is one of the worst things you can go through.

  22. phhhst

    I think midlife hits harder in a culture that idolizes youth, unrealistic beauty, and materialism. One of the attrations of living in Hawaii is living in a culture with a tille less emphasis on those things.
    And 24 – please don’t regift your friend anything you road tested. That’s just weird.

  23. phhhst

    I think midlife hits harder in a culture that idolizes youth, unrealistic beauty, and materialism. One of the attrations of living in Hawaii is living in a culture with a tille less emphasis on those things.
    And 24 – please don’t regift your friend anything you road tested. That’s just weird.

  24. phhhst

    I think midlife hits harder in a culture that idolizes youth, unrealistic beauty, and materialism. One of the attrations of living in Hawaii is living in a culture with a tille less emphasis on those things.
    And 24 – please don’t regift your friend anything you road tested. That’s just weird.

  25. Kelly

    I suppose I’m not old enough yet for some of the topics. Like the way I worked that in to my comment? šŸ™‚ But I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. And lets be honest, I’m not happy about the “smile lines” no matter how much I say I want to age gracefully. Not happy at all.

  26. Kelly

    I suppose I’m not old enough yet for some of the topics. Like the way I worked that in to my comment? šŸ™‚ But I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. And lets be honest, I’m not happy about the “smile lines” no matter how much I say I want to age gracefully. Not happy at all.

  27. Kelly

    I suppose I’m not old enough yet for some of the topics. Like the way I worked that in to my comment? šŸ™‚ But I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. And lets be honest, I’m not happy about the “smile lines” no matter how much I say I want to age gracefully. Not happy at all.

  28. Lo

    i had a midlife crisis exactly one year ago. i flipped out. my whole life turned upside down.
    i dealt with it, i’m happy now, and i’m somewhat okay.
    i’m 24. (no, really, i am.) i struggle every. single. day. with feelings like this. am i happy? am i whole? am i okay? who AM i?
    sigh. it’s called, bein’ alive.

  29. Lo

    i had a midlife crisis exactly one year ago. i flipped out. my whole life turned upside down.
    i dealt with it, i’m happy now, and i’m somewhat okay.
    i’m 24. (no, really, i am.) i struggle every. single. day. with feelings like this. am i happy? am i whole? am i okay? who AM i?
    sigh. it’s called, bein’ alive.

  30. Lo

    i had a midlife crisis exactly one year ago. i flipped out. my whole life turned upside down.
    i dealt with it, i’m happy now, and i’m somewhat okay.
    i’m 24. (no, really, i am.) i struggle every. single. day. with feelings like this. am i happy? am i whole? am i okay? who AM i?
    sigh. it’s called, bein’ alive.

  31. Heather

    I thought I went through my mid-life crisis. Now hubby is going through one. And surprise … it’s making me go through ANOTHER one.

  32. Heather

    I thought I went through my mid-life crisis. Now hubby is going through one. And surprise … it’s making me go through ANOTHER one.

  33. Heather

    I thought I went through my mid-life crisis. Now hubby is going through one. And surprise … it’s making me go through ANOTHER one.

  34. Sandra

    I’ve been fantasizing about an affair. A hot romance with no strings. Of course there are truly always strings and it totally goes against my grain to cheat so I’m stuck.
    My kids are young so I’m no where near done.
    When I dream at night I’m rarely married, yet I’m with other men (just one a night people). I don’t have kids in my dreams. I find that weird. On the rare dreams where my husband is in them I do not ever go thru with the affair in my dream.

  35. Sandra

    I’ve been fantasizing about an affair. A hot romance with no strings. Of course there are truly always strings and it totally goes against my grain to cheat so I’m stuck.
    My kids are young so I’m no where near done.
    When I dream at night I’m rarely married, yet I’m with other men (just one a night people). I don’t have kids in my dreams. I find that weird. On the rare dreams where my husband is in them I do not ever go thru with the affair in my dream.

  36. Sandra

    I’ve been fantasizing about an affair. A hot romance with no strings. Of course there are truly always strings and it totally goes against my grain to cheat so I’m stuck.
    My kids are young so I’m no where near done.
    When I dream at night I’m rarely married, yet I’m with other men (just one a night people). I don’t have kids in my dreams. I find that weird. On the rare dreams where my husband is in them I do not ever go thru with the affair in my dream.

  37. MLS

    All I want out of my life right now is to have the time to spend on what I want to do, rather than everything I need to do for others. I’m sure I’d waste it all by sitting here reading blogs but hey……wouldn’t that be fun for a while???

  38. MLS

    All I want out of my life right now is to have the time to spend on what I want to do, rather than everything I need to do for others. I’m sure I’d waste it all by sitting here reading blogs but hey……wouldn’t that be fun for a while???

  39. MLS

    All I want out of my life right now is to have the time to spend on what I want to do, rather than everything I need to do for others. I’m sure I’d waste it all by sitting here reading blogs but hey……wouldn’t that be fun for a while???

  40. Di

    Other than wanting to lose 20 pounds I really don’t have any issues at age fifty something. Oh, except for STILL not knowing what I want to do for a living when I grow up. I figure I’m more than half-way through my life and I’m not going to spend the second half worrying about sex issues, whether or not Hubby is messing around (which he’s not), an empty nest, or what God or any person thinks of me. I’m just enjoying my life and whatever it brings me each day.
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  41. Di

    Other than wanting to lose 20 pounds I really don’t have any issues at age fifty something. Oh, except for STILL not knowing what I want to do for a living when I grow up. I figure I’m more than half-way through my life and I’m not going to spend the second half worrying about sex issues, whether or not Hubby is messing around (which he’s not), an empty nest, or what God or any person thinks of me. I’m just enjoying my life and whatever it brings me each day.
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  42. Di

    Other than wanting to lose 20 pounds I really don’t have any issues at age fifty something. Oh, except for STILL not knowing what I want to do for a living when I grow up. I figure I’m more than half-way through my life and I’m not going to spend the second half worrying about sex issues, whether or not Hubby is messing around (which he’s not), an empty nest, or what God or any person thinks of me. I’m just enjoying my life and whatever it brings me each day.
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  43. Slick

    I just went from a Mustang GT to a 2001 Nissan Altima.
    Somehow, I got mine out of the way early I suppose you could say.

  44. Slick

    I just went from a Mustang GT to a 2001 Nissan Altima.
    Somehow, I got mine out of the way early I suppose you could say.

  45. Slick

    I just went from a Mustang GT to a 2001 Nissan Altima.
    Somehow, I got mine out of the way early I suppose you could say.

  46. Janine

    Gosh. I’m 2 months shy of the 35 mark. I’ve gone through the “what’s the meaning and purpose” 50 bazillion times. I still do, but now I think I might actually know. And since I had my boy at age 33, I think he’s grounded me in a very good way, but it took me a long time to see it.
    New husband? Get rid of old one? Who hasn’t thought that. But I love the guy and have done so for 15 years now.
    So yeah, things certainly aren’t perfect, but I’m okay right now.

  47. Janine

    Gosh. I’m 2 months shy of the 35 mark. I’ve gone through the “what’s the meaning and purpose” 50 bazillion times. I still do, but now I think I might actually know. And since I had my boy at age 33, I think he’s grounded me in a very good way, but it took me a long time to see it.
    New husband? Get rid of old one? Who hasn’t thought that. But I love the guy and have done so for 15 years now.
    So yeah, things certainly aren’t perfect, but I’m okay right now.

  48. Janine

    Gosh. I’m 2 months shy of the 35 mark. I’ve gone through the “what’s the meaning and purpose” 50 bazillion times. I still do, but now I think I might actually know. And since I had my boy at age 33, I think he’s grounded me in a very good way, but it took me a long time to see it.
    New husband? Get rid of old one? Who hasn’t thought that. But I love the guy and have done so for 15 years now.
    So yeah, things certainly aren’t perfect, but I’m okay right now.

  49. Lori

    What a great thought provoking post! Plus great comments to boot! This book sounds interesting as I can relate to a lot of the issues. Been going through this so called mid-life crap for a while…at least long enough to be almost used to it by now. Talking and listening to others that are going through it helps me the most. That’s why I love reading what you have to say! ‘Cause you say it so damn well!

  50. Lori

    What a great thought provoking post! Plus great comments to boot! This book sounds interesting as I can relate to a lot of the issues. Been going through this so called mid-life crap for a while…at least long enough to be almost used to it by now. Talking and listening to others that are going through it helps me the most. That’s why I love reading what you have to say! ‘Cause you say it so damn well!

  51. Lori

    What a great thought provoking post! Plus great comments to boot! This book sounds interesting as I can relate to a lot of the issues. Been going through this so called mid-life crap for a while…at least long enough to be almost used to it by now. Talking and listening to others that are going through it helps me the most. That’s why I love reading what you have to say! ‘Cause you say it so damn well!

  52. gina

    im only 24 and at least a few times a week i find myself thinking about the purpose/meaning of my life. Right now i am quite often wondering about my future career and hoping i make the right choices. i think people of all ages worry about this šŸ™‚

  53. gina

    im only 24 and at least a few times a week i find myself thinking about the purpose/meaning of my life. Right now i am quite often wondering about my future career and hoping i make the right choices. i think people of all ages worry about this šŸ™‚

  54. gina

    im only 24 and at least a few times a week i find myself thinking about the purpose/meaning of my life. Right now i am quite often wondering about my future career and hoping i make the right choices. i think people of all ages worry about this šŸ™‚

  55. Larissa

    The sad thing? How you mention that book isn’t for younger readers… yet I’m 27 and know that at LEAST 3 of the listed chapters are applicable to me. Wow. Now I KNEW that I was born about a decade too late, but… eek.
    Is it because I have already been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and a *minimum* of two herniated discs in my back? Is it because I also have chronic pain syndrome? A husband who wants it all the time but isn’t willing to get ME in the mood to even CARE? A complete loss of who I am other than Mommy and the occassionally-treated-properly wife?
    *sigh* I think I really COULD use that book. =(

  56. Larissa

    The sad thing? How you mention that book isn’t for younger readers… yet I’m 27 and know that at LEAST 3 of the listed chapters are applicable to me. Wow. Now I KNEW that I was born about a decade too late, but… eek.
    Is it because I have already been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and a *minimum* of two herniated discs in my back? Is it because I also have chronic pain syndrome? A husband who wants it all the time but isn’t willing to get ME in the mood to even CARE? A complete loss of who I am other than Mommy and the occassionally-treated-properly wife?
    *sigh* I think I really COULD use that book. =(

  57. Larissa

    The sad thing? How you mention that book isn’t for younger readers… yet I’m 27 and know that at LEAST 3 of the listed chapters are applicable to me. Wow. Now I KNEW that I was born about a decade too late, but… eek.
    Is it because I have already been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and a *minimum* of two herniated discs in my back? Is it because I also have chronic pain syndrome? A husband who wants it all the time but isn’t willing to get ME in the mood to even CARE? A complete loss of who I am other than Mommy and the occassionally-treated-properly wife?
    *sigh* I think I really COULD use that book. =(

  58. Stepping Thru

    At 58 I am beyond the empty nest and I’m already an in-law and grandparent. I am in the caring for aging parents though with a 93 year old mother-in-law. My marital satisfaction is better than ever and my meaning and purpose in life seems to change almost daily. But I’m still interested in hearing about the sex toy basket. šŸ™‚

  59. Stepping Thru

    At 58 I am beyond the empty nest and I’m already an in-law and grandparent. I am in the caring for aging parents though with a 93 year old mother-in-law. My marital satisfaction is better than ever and my meaning and purpose in life seems to change almost daily. But I’m still interested in hearing about the sex toy basket. šŸ™‚

  60. Stepping Thru

    At 58 I am beyond the empty nest and I’m already an in-law and grandparent. I am in the caring for aging parents though with a 93 year old mother-in-law. My marital satisfaction is better than ever and my meaning and purpose in life seems to change almost daily. But I’m still interested in hearing about the sex toy basket. šŸ™‚

  61. Jason

    I’m a 39 year old grandfather who married very young, then realized he was gay, went through a major identity crisis in my mid twenties, then settled down again around 30 after figuring out who he was.
    I just can’t decide if I’ve already had my life crisis or if I still have one ahead.
    Can I just be done with personal identity crises?

  62. Jason

    I’m a 39 year old grandfather who married very young, then realized he was gay, went through a major identity crisis in my mid twenties, then settled down again around 30 after figuring out who he was.
    I just can’t decide if I’ve already had my life crisis or if I still have one ahead.
    Can I just be done with personal identity crises?

  63. Jason

    I’m a 39 year old grandfather who married very young, then realized he was gay, went through a major identity crisis in my mid twenties, then settled down again around 30 after figuring out who he was.
    I just can’t decide if I’ve already had my life crisis or if I still have one ahead.
    Can I just be done with personal identity crises?

  64. Rhea

    Oh, yes, I want to hear all about the sex toy basket. Awesome.
    I think I like the therapist moving in idea. It could be the new black. Having a therapist in your garage apartment or in the nanny quarters.

  65. Rhea

    Oh, yes, I want to hear all about the sex toy basket. Awesome.
    I think I like the therapist moving in idea. It could be the new black. Having a therapist in your garage apartment or in the nanny quarters.

  66. Rhea

    Oh, yes, I want to hear all about the sex toy basket. Awesome.
    I think I like the therapist moving in idea. It could be the new black. Having a therapist in your garage apartment or in the nanny quarters.

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