In October I told you the story of a bigamist living here in Orange County. Joe the Bigamist is an extremely wealthy man. He married two women and they knew nothing about each other's existence for years. The two wives lived in two separate multimillion dollar homes within a half mile of each other in Money Town. Recently Joe's wives found out about each other.
At the time I wrote about Joe the Bigamist, I promised to give you an update if any new information was forthcoming. Do you remember how Joe the Bigamist was not only married to two women, but he was also having an affair?
As it turns out, the woman he had the affair with is married. Not only is Mistress married, but she is married to a celebrity. Celebrity Husband found out about the affair his wife had with Joe and threatened Joe with bodily harm.
Joe was outraged by the threat.
Joe's been feeling a little stressed out lately.
Joe's two wives are angry with him. His mistress is pissed off. Celebrity Husband is hoping for an opportunity to dismember Joe. Quite assuredly, beginning with Joe's actual member. (Personally, I think Celebrity Husband of Mistress would be doing society a favor by dis-member–ing Joe the Bigamist.)
Poor Joe, he's created a lot of strife, hasn't he?
Most recently Joe's legal woes have escalated once again. Joe is a business owner. Joe has employees. Joe made unwelcome sexual advances to one of his female employees. Repeatedly. Female Employee is now suing him for sexual harassment.
Ah … but that's not all!
Female Employee is married. Female Employee is married to a convicted criminal who is currently not in jail. Convicted Criminal is not happy with Joe the Bigamist. Convicted Criminal is threatening Joe the Bigamist with bodily harm. He may need to line up behind Celebrity Husband.
I haven't met Joe the Bigamist personally but we have a mutual acquaintance. I'm lobbying for an introduction at the minimum, and preferably an interview. So far, I've been turned down.
I'm told that Joe is "older than you might assume at first" and not overly attractive. What do all these women see in Joe? Money. Insane amounts of money. And presumably, the power of being with someone who is exceedingly wealthy. Joe likes to brag about his wealth and his women. He finds his own stories and escapades amusing. I get the impression he thrives on the drama he creates.
Apparently Joe the Bigamist has been banned from one of the more prominent hotels in Las Vegas. He got caught having sex with a stripper in one of the cabanas by the pool. Stripper was having sex with Joe in the cabana in broad daylight. They were … ahem, very loud during their sexual escapades. Joe thinks it's hysterical he's been banned from the hotel.
Joe has an identical twin brother. Let's call him Jim. Joe describes Jim as "a player." Joe does not consider himself one. Isn't that pretty amusing? Joe likes to recount stories of pulling the "old switcheroo" on women. Yes, these brothers have slept with each other's women (including wives) on several occasions.
The women have apparently not been able to tell the difference. Does that mean both men are terrible in bed? I would imagine men like Joe and Jim are all about themselves in the bedroom, wouldn't you? Selfish assholes that they are. (Oops – there went my interview!)
I could recount one particularly horrific woman-swapping story for you … but I honestly don't think you would even believe me if I told you. I think it's hard enough to believe the generalities, let alone go into the details.
Both of these men are man sluts with no boundaries or morals whatsoever.
Let's name all the prominent characters (so far) in this story:
Joe the Bigamist
Children of Wife #1
Angry Celebrity Husband (of Mistress)
Angry Convicted Criminal (husband of Female Employee)
Jim the Player (Joe's identical twin)
If there is more to come from Joe the Bigamist, do you want to hear it? Or are you tired of hearing about him? One thing's for sure, someone needs to give Joe a life sentence in unzipable pants.