All eight winners from last week's contests are announced in a separate post right below this one.
A lot of my friends (male and female) seem to be deep in thought about where their lives and/or relationships are headed lately. In addition, a publisher recently sent me a few books to read in consideration of possibly doing some book reviews. As a result, I've been talking about some big life questions recently and I've also been reading about them. My brain cells are starting to ache from working overtime.
I might be kidding myself into believing I can solve life altering questions. To top it off, my hair stylist handed me the lastest edition of Cosmopolitan last week and I realized I didn't even know all 75 tricks to "Bad Girl Sex." According to Cosmo I need to learn to be a little "naughtier" because I hadn't heard of all 75.
Is everyone else tying knotted pantyhose around their man's penis as a new pleasure trick? Because honestly? It never has entered my mind.
I don't even own any pantyhose.
Here's another Cosmo tip: Being able to move your tongue in a circle eight is critical for both men and women.
Anyway . . . .
One of my male friends said to me last week, "You think you understand men, but you don't." This was during a discussion of why men and women have affairs.
I do think I understand men. Am I wrong?
I mean, other than the pantyhose trick? (I already knew about the circle eight thing … heh!)
I need to generalize today for writing purposes so bear with me.
Here are some things I think I know about men:
Men have fragile egos.
Men like to be flattered.
Men can compartmentalize their lives better than most women can.
Men like sex.
Men love blow jobs.
Men want to be the best thing to ever happen in their partner's bed.
Men like a sense of taking care of their loved ones.
Men need down time.
Men's identities and self-worth are closely tied to their careers.
Roughly 50-60% of married men will have affairs.
Approximately the same number will divorce.
Men often get bored with a woman once they have her.
Men are babies when they get sick or hurt.
Men love back rubs and/or back scratches.
Sports dads are all convinced their child will be the next pro player.
Men like to be looked up to and respected by their partner.
Circle eights, circle eights, circle eights
Men hate to be nagged or told what to do.
Circle eights, circle eights, circle eights!
Many men are looking for a "mom" in their partner – someone to cook and clean and do laundry for them.
Did I remember to mention, men like women who can make circle eights with their tongues?
My male friend told me men who have affairs often do so for the excitement of the chase, in addition to the allure of sex. In addition, he said men get bored and want something new. He even went so far as to say that some men wouldn't care that much if their wife had an affair "because it would assuage their own guilt over having an affair themselves." He admitted the male ego would be bruised by a wife's indiscretion, but implied it would be more of a relief than anything for some men. I'm assuming he intended his comment in regard to long term marriages, not new relationships.
I was floored by his comments. Primarily because I envision Briefcase killing me if I had an affair. Maybe he wouldn't kill me? Maybe I should pursue hot pool boy after all?
Is this all part of me not understanding men?
My brain hurts from thinking about this. I can't wait to hear input from both my male and female readers. I'm going to head out right now to buy some pantyhose. In the meantime, can you tell me:
What do you know about men?
Are the items I listed above about men correct?
Did you read them and agree or disagree with them?
Why do you think men have affairs?
(We'll talk about women soon on another day.)