Torturer Conflict

I know you'll be stunned to hear The Torturer is creating problems lately.  It's definitely all his fault, and not at all mine

After all, I can't be held responsible for his actions, right?

There seems to be a pattern to my Torturer problems.  (Twenty seven months post-car accident, you'd think I'd be used to this by now!)  I settle into a PT routine and things are going along as well as can be expected.  The Torturer and I are getting along.  I'm working with him; he's working with me.  Everything is just blah, blah, blah fine.

Too fine, apparently, because then he decides I'm "doing well" with whatever torture he's implementing and he adds new and even more evil torture to my world.

We, quite astonishingly, begin fighting.  It's become so predictable after all this time.  Something about me being in pain, and him being an ass.  Oops, did I say ass?  I meant to say he gets on a power trip about what I will do.  I get on a stubborn-bitch trip of what I can't (or won't?) do. 

The resulting fireworks are, no doubt, entertaining to watch.  I'm sure our arguments astonish his other patients.  We always seem to have quite an audience when he acts like an ass  I act stubborn  we argue.

For the last three weeks he's been adding in new tortures.  One or two new things have been added each week. 

Can you believe he's trying to make me lift my arm?  And then when I do, he yells at me and says things like, "That's not good enough," "You can do better than that," and/or "You aren't even trying." 

(I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it's really remarkable!)

And what the hell?  Did he say I'm not trying?

Since I can't do it on my own, The Torturer stands next to me and lifts my arm for me.  Then he lets go and I'm supposed to lower my arm slowly.  Instead it drops like a rock.  Over and over we go through this routine and he gets increasingly frustrated at my inability to control my own arm.  For 48 hours after each attempt the pain in my arm and shoulder is intense.

Yesterday, I was in a lot of pain and I decided I'd had enough.  It's always a lot of fun when I decide that. 

"I think this may be as good as it gets," I announced.  "Maybe I'm done with PT?"

There really are no words to describe The Torturer's reaction when I start to give up.  It's like a switch flips and he becomes angry, determined, resolute, and a whole lot of other nasty adjectives all at the same time.  It's quite a transformation.

He marched me over to the Evil Torture Machine.  I refused to use it.

"You're not doing this to my arm today!" I stated firmly.

"It's my job to get you better," he hissed through clenched teeth.

Am I really that frustrating? 

Really?  I feel like I'm being so reasonable.  It hurts, so let's not make it hurt more.  Isn't that reasonable?

We stood there glaring at each other.  Neither one of us was about to give in.

For a minute we stared at each other, both appraising just how determined we each were.  Who would give in?

I decided to try a different approach. 

"It hurts," I pleaded.

I saw his eyes soften (just a teeny tiny bit) and I knew I won.

"Lay down," he said.

We compromised.  I didn't have to be tortured by the Evil Torture Machine.  I let him do some similar (but less painful) manipulations and exercises on my arm.  I'm still hurting, but I'm not in freaking-out-omigod pain.

When I left, I got the impression he's really looking forward to getting a break over the weekend.  I'm sure I'm mistaken.  The Torturer loves his job.  I know he does.

66 Responses to “Torturer Conflict”

  1. Kristan Hoffman

    “I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it’s really remarkable!”
    LOL!
    Oh poor Torturer. And yet, oh poor you. I’m not sure who I feel more sorry for. Maybe neither, since I think deep down you both enjoy it. 😛
    (The arguing, not the torture.)

  2. Kristan Hoffman

    “I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it’s really remarkable!”
    LOL!
    Oh poor Torturer. And yet, oh poor you. I’m not sure who I feel more sorry for. Maybe neither, since I think deep down you both enjoy it. 😛
    (The arguing, not the torture.)

  3. Kristan Hoffman

    “I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it’s really remarkable!”
    LOL!
    Oh poor Torturer. And yet, oh poor you. I’m not sure who I feel more sorry for. Maybe neither, since I think deep down you both enjoy it. 😛
    (The arguing, not the torture.)

  4. Linda

    “I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it’s really remarkable!” Bwaahahahahahaha! OMG! ROFLMAO!
    I haven’t been reading here long but I think this is about the third time you’ve told us that the Torturer has deemed you “fit for the next level” of torture. THAT is a VERY good thing!! It means you ARE improving. You’ll be swinging a tennis racket in no time! Keep up the good work!

  5. Linda

    “I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it’s really remarkable!” Bwaahahahahahaha! OMG! ROFLMAO!
    I haven’t been reading here long but I think this is about the third time you’ve told us that the Torturer has deemed you “fit for the next level” of torture. THAT is a VERY good thing!! It means you ARE improving. You’ll be swinging a tennis racket in no time! Keep up the good work!

  6. Linda

    “I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it’s really remarkable!” Bwaahahahahahaha! OMG! ROFLMAO!
    I haven’t been reading here long but I think this is about the third time you’ve told us that the Torturer has deemed you “fit for the next level” of torture. THAT is a VERY good thing!! It means you ARE improving. You’ll be swinging a tennis racket in no time! Keep up the good work!

  7. Kelly

    LOL. I’d love to see the 2 of you in action someday. Very funny I bet. And the line about still being able to lift your middle finger. ha ha. He loves you – I just know it.

  8. Kelly

    LOL. I’d love to see the 2 of you in action someday. Very funny I bet. And the line about still being able to lift your middle finger. ha ha. He loves you – I just know it.

  9. Kelly

    LOL. I’d love to see the 2 of you in action someday. Very funny I bet. And the line about still being able to lift your middle finger. ha ha. He loves you – I just know it.

  10. goodfather

    I don’t know how you’re able to turn your own mind-searing pain into people snorting coffee on their monitors, but you are. Genius. I heart you. I you hope your next PT is less painful.

  11. goodfather

    I don’t know how you’re able to turn your own mind-searing pain into people snorting coffee on their monitors, but you are. Genius. I heart you. I you hope your next PT is less painful.

  12. goodfather

    I don’t know how you’re able to turn your own mind-searing pain into people snorting coffee on their monitors, but you are. Genius. I heart you. I you hope your next PT is less painful.

  13. Missy

    “No pain no gain”. Ouch!
    Loved the middle finger line – classic.

  14. Missy

    “No pain no gain”. Ouch!
    Loved the middle finger line – classic.

  15. Missy

    “No pain no gain”. Ouch!
    Loved the middle finger line – classic.

  16. DogMan

    Just read a lot of your archives. The Torturer – poor man. He probably can’t win. You … Well, you’re making us laugh thru your pain. That makes you a remarkable person.

  17. DogMan

    Just read a lot of your archives. The Torturer – poor man. He probably can’t win. You … Well, you’re making us laugh thru your pain. That makes you a remarkable person.

  18. DogMan

    Just read a lot of your archives. The Torturer – poor man. He probably can’t win. You … Well, you’re making us laugh thru your pain. That makes you a remarkable person.

  19. sometimessophia

    The lifting the middle finger comment was classic!! So sorry for you to be in so much pain. Hang in there, girl. No pain, no gain… but maybe you bribe a locker room attendent to slather some BenGay on the Torturer’s spare jock strap…

  20. sometimessophia

    The lifting the middle finger comment was classic!! So sorry for you to be in so much pain. Hang in there, girl. No pain, no gain… but maybe you bribe a locker room attendent to slather some BenGay on the Torturer’s spare jock strap…

  21. sometimessophia

    The lifting the middle finger comment was classic!! So sorry for you to be in so much pain. Hang in there, girl. No pain, no gain… but maybe you bribe a locker room attendent to slather some BenGay on the Torturer’s spare jock strap…

  22. amyz5

    what on earth keeps this guy from killing you and you him?
    co-dependent need for you to succeed?
    passive-aggressive love-hate yin-yang feng shui?
    sorry, last one was ridiculous. keep fighting babe, you are not a quitter and he/you know that for sure.
    perhaps a red ribbon on the middle finger would be a subtle message

  23. amyz5

    what on earth keeps this guy from killing you and you him?
    co-dependent need for you to succeed?
    passive-aggressive love-hate yin-yang feng shui?
    sorry, last one was ridiculous. keep fighting babe, you are not a quitter and he/you know that for sure.
    perhaps a red ribbon on the middle finger would be a subtle message

  24. amyz5

    what on earth keeps this guy from killing you and you him?
    co-dependent need for you to succeed?
    passive-aggressive love-hate yin-yang feng shui?
    sorry, last one was ridiculous. keep fighting babe, you are not a quitter and he/you know that for sure.
    perhaps a red ribbon on the middle finger would be a subtle message

  25. Jan

    What – no sex today??
    Ballerina Toes may be on to something, but I’m willing to bet you’ll more likely to be the subject for some intense psychotherapy.

  26. Jan

    What – no sex today??
    Ballerina Toes may be on to something, but I’m willing to bet you’ll more likely to be the subject for some intense psychotherapy.

  27. Jan

    What – no sex today??
    Ballerina Toes may be on to something, but I’m willing to bet you’ll more likely to be the subject for some intense psychotherapy.

  28. Heather

    Am I missing something or is the comment by Jan mean-spirited and bitchy? Maybe there’s a private joke here I don’t get? I like your posts on men/women/sex. A lot. I also think it’s amazing that you’re able to keep a sense of humor after all you’ve gone thru and continue to go thru. Intense psychotherapy? WTF? You’re an inspiration to me and I’m sure to many others.

  29. Heather

    Am I missing something or is the comment by Jan mean-spirited and bitchy? Maybe there’s a private joke here I don’t get? I like your posts on men/women/sex. A lot. I also think it’s amazing that you’re able to keep a sense of humor after all you’ve gone thru and continue to go thru. Intense psychotherapy? WTF? You’re an inspiration to me and I’m sure to many others.

  30. Heather

    Am I missing something or is the comment by Jan mean-spirited and bitchy? Maybe there’s a private joke here I don’t get? I like your posts on men/women/sex. A lot. I also think it’s amazing that you’re able to keep a sense of humor after all you’ve gone thru and continue to go thru. Intense psychotherapy? WTF? You’re an inspiration to me and I’m sure to many others.

  31. Momo Fali

    Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch this entertainment! Not that I’d want to see you in pain, but a good argument always catches my attention.

  32. Momo Fali

    Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch this entertainment! Not that I’d want to see you in pain, but a good argument always catches my attention.

  33. Momo Fali

    Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch this entertainment! Not that I’d want to see you in pain, but a good argument always catches my attention.

  34. Linda

    Heather- I am sure you are missing something.
    24- Your blog today almost brought tears to my eyes. I know you are a very brave person and I applaud your continuing the “torture”. Your sense of humor and way of describing your PT is awesome and very amusing. Keep up the wonderful blog.

  35. Linda

    Heather- I am sure you are missing something.
    24- Your blog today almost brought tears to my eyes. I know you are a very brave person and I applaud your continuing the “torture”. Your sense of humor and way of describing your PT is awesome and very amusing. Keep up the wonderful blog.

  36. Linda

    Heather- I am sure you are missing something.
    24- Your blog today almost brought tears to my eyes. I know you are a very brave person and I applaud your continuing the “torture”. Your sense of humor and way of describing your PT is awesome and very amusing. Keep up the wonderful blog.

  37. emmysuh

    “(I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it’s really remarkable!)” – lol – SO glad you didn’t injure that finger in the wreck!!!
    I have to say I love the Torturer just because he never lets you give up and always makes you work harder! I need someone like that in my life!

  38. emmysuh

    “(I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it’s really remarkable!)” – lol – SO glad you didn’t injure that finger in the wreck!!!
    I have to say I love the Torturer just because he never lets you give up and always makes you work harder! I need someone like that in my life!

  39. emmysuh

    “(I have no problem lifting my middle finger though – it’s really remarkable!)” – lol – SO glad you didn’t injure that finger in the wreck!!!
    I have to say I love the Torturer just because he never lets you give up and always makes you work harder! I need someone like that in my life!

  40. mama llama

    Yes, he does love his job. Anyone with that dedication, who will NOT let you walk out that door, loves it and loves you as a part of that.
    And I know he will miss you when your PT is really, truly over. My sister is a PT; I hear all sides.
    Take care, be strong, and be well, 24.

  41. mama llama

    Yes, he does love his job. Anyone with that dedication, who will NOT let you walk out that door, loves it and loves you as a part of that.
    And I know he will miss you when your PT is really, truly over. My sister is a PT; I hear all sides.
    Take care, be strong, and be well, 24.

  42. mama llama

    Yes, he does love his job. Anyone with that dedication, who will NOT let you walk out that door, loves it and loves you as a part of that.
    And I know he will miss you when your PT is really, truly over. My sister is a PT; I hear all sides.
    Take care, be strong, and be well, 24.

  43. Laura

    Middle finger reflexes certainly are the most important to keep intact. Glad yours is still properly functioning.
    This reminds me of the “dance” I have with some of my students. There always seems to be a student who I feel committed to dragging out of the Valley of Not Caring to Mount Believer (in himself). (So many metaphors in two sentences.)
    What dance would you say you are dancing? Tango?

  44. Laura

    Middle finger reflexes certainly are the most important to keep intact. Glad yours is still properly functioning.
    This reminds me of the “dance” I have with some of my students. There always seems to be a student who I feel committed to dragging out of the Valley of Not Caring to Mount Believer (in himself). (So many metaphors in two sentences.)
    What dance would you say you are dancing? Tango?

  45. Laura

    Middle finger reflexes certainly are the most important to keep intact. Glad yours is still properly functioning.
    This reminds me of the “dance” I have with some of my students. There always seems to be a student who I feel committed to dragging out of the Valley of Not Caring to Mount Believer (in himself). (So many metaphors in two sentences.)
    What dance would you say you are dancing? Tango?

  46. Buckethead

    24,
    I received my iTunes gift card.
    Thanks again,
    Buckethead

  47. Buckethead

    24,
    I received my iTunes gift card.
    Thanks again,
    Buckethead

  48. Buckethead

    24,
    I received my iTunes gift card.
    Thanks again,
    Buckethead

  49. phhhst

    I think you are very brave and courageous and totally admire your ability to use humor about the situation. Pain sucks. My PT pretty much mostly massages me (hands on physical therapy). You should come for a visit to a Hawaii and give torturer a break. *wink*

  50. phhhst

    I think you are very brave and courageous and totally admire your ability to use humor about the situation. Pain sucks. My PT pretty much mostly massages me (hands on physical therapy). You should come for a visit to a Hawaii and give torturer a break. *wink*

  51. phhhst

    I think you are very brave and courageous and totally admire your ability to use humor about the situation. Pain sucks. My PT pretty much mostly massages me (hands on physical therapy). You should come for a visit to a Hawaii and give torturer a break. *wink*

  52. Stepping Thru

    I start PT in two days after my recent hip surgery. My Torturer also happens to be a friend so that should be interesting. Keep up the good work. We’ll just keep telling ourselves it’s for our own good. Dammit!

  53. Stepping Thru

    I start PT in two days after my recent hip surgery. My Torturer also happens to be a friend so that should be interesting. Keep up the good work. We’ll just keep telling ourselves it’s for our own good. Dammit!

  54. Stepping Thru

    I start PT in two days after my recent hip surgery. My Torturer also happens to be a friend so that should be interesting. Keep up the good work. We’ll just keep telling ourselves it’s for our own good. Dammit!

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