Not My Breast Day

Thank you for being so supportive and full of so much great information.

I wish I could say I had a great, happy, uplifting experience at the Boob Center, but I did not.  They scared the crap out of me … again, and again, and again.  I underwent a grand total of 3 hours of continual testing which included FOUR more mammogram sessions (multiple pictures taken during each one) AND THREE separate ultrasounds. 

My initial mammogram (last Friday) was a "screening mammogram."  This time I was told to report to a different location for a "diagnostic mammogram."  

I was greeted in the waiting room with pamphlets titled, Who Will Take Care of You as You Die From Metastasized Breast Cancer?

Not really, but close.  

The pamphlets were titled something like, "Caring for a Loved One With Metastasized Breast Cancer."  A comforting pamphlet to read as you sit FREAKING OUT prior to your appointment.

I was called back relatively quickly, instructed to change once again into a gown, and seated in a second waiting area.

Women who were bald from chemotherapy kept me company.  My heart ached for them, but I have to say their presence was also disconcerting.

A technician retrieved me and escorted me in for a mammogram.  While I was there she showed me "the area of concern" on my previous films of my right breast.  That didn't do much good, as the pictures didn't even look like a breast to me.  

A boob expert, I'm not.

I explained to the technician about my non-working right arm and I will say she was extremely kind in helping me move my arm as necessary for the testing.  She took a lot of pictures from a lot of different angles and announced I was done.  I went and sat down to wait for the ultrasound which had also been ordered. 

A few minutes later the technician returned frowning.  The doctor had "a concern" over my films and she needed to take a few more pictures.  I entered the mammogram room again, for the third time in five days.  

And then twenty minutes later … again.

And then one more time for good measure. Yes, the more pictures they took, the more "concern" the doctor reading them apparently had.

All the while the technician would make lame attempts to convince me this was all routine.  When she called me in for the fourth time she could clearly see the panic in my eyes.  She tried to reassure me.  

It didn't work.

By the way, during all these mammogram sessions I was informed "the area of concern" was not scar tissue, and also was not in any way related to my car accident.

Four mammograms in one day.  Have you ever heard of such a thing?  Did I mention it hurts to have your boob squished like a pancake in a vise over and over again?  I wouldn't be at all surprised if my right breast is now one full cup size smaller than it was a week ago.

Eventually I was led to a different room so the technician could do an ultrasound on my right breast.  I was instructed, "Lie down on your back and put your right arm up over your head."  My right arm doesn't go over my head.  She tried to move it for me, but it doesn't go over my head no matter who tries to move it.

At this point, I'd had enough.  I just wanted to leave.

The technician tried turning me on my side; she moved my arm every which way for me. She even propped it in different positions with pillows and towels.  Eventually she was able to get all the ultrasound pictures she needed.  She asked me to wait a moment while she showed the pictures to the doctor.  She informed me he would then come in to talk to me.

A few minutes later a male doctor entered the room.  He explained to me he wanted to "take a closer look" at a few things and proceeded to conduct a much lengthier ultrasound than the technician just had.  

I was in a full panic.  No one was even trying to pretend anything about my visit was "normal procedure."  By the time the doctor was done I was into my third hour of testing.

He said he needed to "step outside" for a minute and asked me to wait.  Did he think I was going to get up bare breasted and walk out of the facility?

A few minutes later the technician returned.  She explained the doctor had "a few questions about one area in particular" and had gone to consult with another doctor. 

Another few minutes went by and the doctor returned with a female doctor.  A third ultrasound was conducted.  My bare chest had the company of two doctors and the technician for this one.  During this ultrasound they had me turn on my side and the technician held my bum arm up in the air for the entire test.  I cannot even tell you the pain this caused me for many, many, hours afterwards.

A lot of discussion and debate went on between the doctors after the final ultrasound. Eventually they decided to release me.  Honest to God, what they said to me was "We think you're clear so we're going to let you go home."

Somehow, I didn't walk away with a sense of relief.  How can a person be reassured or confident with words like that?  I walked out of there with a heavy weight on my shoulders.  

I don't think I'm a strong enough person to take much more stress than what I've had to deal with the last couple years since the accident.  A friend told me this week that a person can handle anything if they put their mind to it.  I can't.  I know that.  I don't mean that as a cop out.  It's just that I've been through so much in such a short period of time.  Everyone has their limits.  I've reached mine. 

I need a break from pain.  I need a break from medical stress.  

I arrived home to house guests. 

House guests, Christmas shopping still incomplete, husband out of town … stress.

I was home for less than two hours when the doctor called.  He ran all my test results through a computer program and it came back with bad results.  They're scheduling me for a biopsy "as soon as possible."  

144 Responses to “Not My Breast Day”

  1. SSG

    Well, that sounds like a crap, crap day. It may sound stupid, but biopsy is good. At least they are doing something. And you sound like you have good healthcare, and are not on a 3-month waiting list. I hope to God this comes back as a fibradenoma,or something else benign. You did well to post about this stuff, and making jokes, but sometimes you just need a hug. Sending you a hug that doesn’t hurt. God, it’s mental, I’m miles away in another country and I’ve never even met you but I fucking hope you are OK.

  2. SSG

    Well, that sounds like a crap, crap day. It may sound stupid, but biopsy is good. At least they are doing something. And you sound like you have good healthcare, and are not on a 3-month waiting list. I hope to God this comes back as a fibradenoma,or something else benign. You did well to post about this stuff, and making jokes, but sometimes you just need a hug. Sending you a hug that doesn’t hurt. God, it’s mental, I’m miles away in another country and I’ve never even met you but I fucking hope you are OK.

  3. SSG

    Well, that sounds like a crap, crap day. It may sound stupid, but biopsy is good. At least they are doing something. And you sound like you have good healthcare, and are not on a 3-month waiting list. I hope to God this comes back as a fibradenoma,or something else benign. You did well to post about this stuff, and making jokes, but sometimes you just need a hug. Sending you a hug that doesn’t hurt. God, it’s mental, I’m miles away in another country and I’ve never even met you but I fucking hope you are OK.

  4. sometimessophia

    You don’t deserve this. Sorry, your day day was so shitty and the news so inconclusive. It’s great that the doctors are being so thorough and expedient, though. Sending you a hug and hoping for the best. You’re in my prayers.

  5. sometimessophia

    You don’t deserve this. Sorry, your day day was so shitty and the news so inconclusive. It’s great that the doctors are being so thorough and expedient, though. Sending you a hug and hoping for the best. You’re in my prayers.

  6. sometimessophia

    You don’t deserve this. Sorry, your day day was so shitty and the news so inconclusive. It’s great that the doctors are being so thorough and expedient, though. Sending you a hug and hoping for the best. You’re in my prayers.

  7. Joanne

    As I read your post, I kept thinking, “why dont they just biopsy, and get it over with?” Sweety, good medical care is a wonderful thing. Be glad you have the oportunity to get this delt with very early. You have reminded me that I have been very remis, and I will do something about it ASAP. I have no insurance, and must pay cash for any medical care I get. Needless to say mamography is a very easy thing to put on hold (who needs that kind of pain, right?)I will call and find a place to get mine done today, because, alas, I am experiencing a very tender nipple on one side, which became very noticable when I had to lie on my stomach for a while in the Chiro’s office. Thanks for jolting me to reality right when I needed it.In other news, my Mom got right through her experience with a “lumpectomy” and is good as new. I am hoping the very best for you. You are smart, and experienced with the unfortunate need for medical care, I have no doubt you know how to ask the right questions and make the right choices.

  8. Joanne

    As I read your post, I kept thinking, “why dont they just biopsy, and get it over with?” Sweety, good medical care is a wonderful thing. Be glad you have the oportunity to get this delt with very early. You have reminded me that I have been very remis, and I will do something about it ASAP. I have no insurance, and must pay cash for any medical care I get. Needless to say mamography is a very easy thing to put on hold (who needs that kind of pain, right?)I will call and find a place to get mine done today, because, alas, I am experiencing a very tender nipple on one side, which became very noticable when I had to lie on my stomach for a while in the Chiro’s office. Thanks for jolting me to reality right when I needed it.In other news, my Mom got right through her experience with a “lumpectomy” and is good as new. I am hoping the very best for you. You are smart, and experienced with the unfortunate need for medical care, I have no doubt you know how to ask the right questions and make the right choices.

  9. Joanne

    As I read your post, I kept thinking, “why dont they just biopsy, and get it over with?” Sweety, good medical care is a wonderful thing. Be glad you have the oportunity to get this delt with very early. You have reminded me that I have been very remis, and I will do something about it ASAP. I have no insurance, and must pay cash for any medical care I get. Needless to say mamography is a very easy thing to put on hold (who needs that kind of pain, right?)I will call and find a place to get mine done today, because, alas, I am experiencing a very tender nipple on one side, which became very noticable when I had to lie on my stomach for a while in the Chiro’s office. Thanks for jolting me to reality right when I needed it.In other news, my Mom got right through her experience with a “lumpectomy” and is good as new. I am hoping the very best for you. You are smart, and experienced with the unfortunate need for medical care, I have no doubt you know how to ask the right questions and make the right choices.

  10. Cindy

    I’m with you in thought and prayer. “Hold On” is the best comfort I can give you. When you hold on, you have something to grab. When you hold on, you focus on that which you are holding on to. When you hold on, you have a point of contact. when you hold on, you are touching that which touches you. When you hold on, you know what or who you are holding on to. When you hold on to God, God is also holding on to you. In other words, you can know with certainty that God is with you because He promised, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Yes, I borrowed this from one of many quotes I have hanging around my desk. Hold ON! You’ll make it.

  11. Cindy

    I’m with you in thought and prayer. “Hold On” is the best comfort I can give you. When you hold on, you have something to grab. When you hold on, you focus on that which you are holding on to. When you hold on, you have a point of contact. when you hold on, you are touching that which touches you. When you hold on, you know what or who you are holding on to. When you hold on to God, God is also holding on to you. In other words, you can know with certainty that God is with you because He promised, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Yes, I borrowed this from one of many quotes I have hanging around my desk. Hold ON! You’ll make it.

  12. Cindy

    I’m with you in thought and prayer. “Hold On” is the best comfort I can give you. When you hold on, you have something to grab. When you hold on, you focus on that which you are holding on to. When you hold on, you have a point of contact. when you hold on, you are touching that which touches you. When you hold on, you know what or who you are holding on to. When you hold on to God, God is also holding on to you. In other words, you can know with certainty that God is with you because He promised, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Yes, I borrowed this from one of many quotes I have hanging around my desk. Hold ON! You’ll make it.

  13. CourtneyRyan369

    You had a D-A-Y! I’m sorry that you dealt with all that yesterday and I’m sorry they couldn’t get you better news – yet. Hang in there! Hugs

  14. CourtneyRyan369

    You had a D-A-Y! I’m sorry that you dealt with all that yesterday and I’m sorry they couldn’t get you better news – yet. Hang in there! Hugs

  15. CourtneyRyan369

    You had a D-A-Y! I’m sorry that you dealt with all that yesterday and I’m sorry they couldn’t get you better news – yet. Hang in there! Hugs

  16. Di

    I went through this a year ago and had a biopsy on my right breast… physically it was a bit uncomfortable, but bearable. I was awake through my biopsy. Mine turned out to be what’s called ‘milk of calcium’ and it dispersed when the biopsy needle came in contact with it. More than anything the mental anticipation of it all was the worst part for me.
    I will keep positive thoughts going for you. Thanks for sharing this with all of us.. it’s important for we gals to stick together and support one another.
    Big HUG to you.
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  17. Di

    I went through this a year ago and had a biopsy on my right breast… physically it was a bit uncomfortable, but bearable. I was awake through my biopsy. Mine turned out to be what’s called ‘milk of calcium’ and it dispersed when the biopsy needle came in contact with it. More than anything the mental anticipation of it all was the worst part for me.
    I will keep positive thoughts going for you. Thanks for sharing this with all of us.. it’s important for we gals to stick together and support one another.
    Big HUG to you.
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  18. Di

    I went through this a year ago and had a biopsy on my right breast… physically it was a bit uncomfortable, but bearable. I was awake through my biopsy. Mine turned out to be what’s called ‘milk of calcium’ and it dispersed when the biopsy needle came in contact with it. More than anything the mental anticipation of it all was the worst part for me.
    I will keep positive thoughts going for you. Thanks for sharing this with all of us.. it’s important for we gals to stick together and support one another.
    Big HUG to you.
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  19. Lori

    Keeping you in my prayers and sending you (((((((HUGS)))))))). One moment at a time, you will get through each step. Pain sucks and some days I want to just give up too because sometimes it just gets to the point where you have had enough. I am sorry. Just remember, baby steps…and it’s okay to just sit sometimes!

  20. Lori

    Keeping you in my prayers and sending you (((((((HUGS)))))))). One moment at a time, you will get through each step. Pain sucks and some days I want to just give up too because sometimes it just gets to the point where you have had enough. I am sorry. Just remember, baby steps…and it’s okay to just sit sometimes!

  21. Lori

    Keeping you in my prayers and sending you (((((((HUGS)))))))). One moment at a time, you will get through each step. Pain sucks and some days I want to just give up too because sometimes it just gets to the point where you have had enough. I am sorry. Just remember, baby steps…and it’s okay to just sit sometimes!

  22. Hallie

    You know how I can tell that no matter what the outcome, you WILL get through this? Cuz even during an obvious time of despair, you came up with a witty title for your blog. NOT MY BREAST DAY sure hit the nail on the head.
    I believe you may just be one of the strongest women I’ve even “met.”
    I’ll send you ever positive bit of mojo I can muster from freezing cold Maine.
    Hallie 🙂
    And if you totally want to get your mind off of your stress for even 2 seconds, try entering my contest. Sometimes, having something totally silly to do helps alleviate worry. If not, just come read the other entries. They are funny!
    http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/

  23. Hallie

    You know how I can tell that no matter what the outcome, you WILL get through this? Cuz even during an obvious time of despair, you came up with a witty title for your blog. NOT MY BREAST DAY sure hit the nail on the head.
    I believe you may just be one of the strongest women I’ve even “met.”
    I’ll send you ever positive bit of mojo I can muster from freezing cold Maine.
    Hallie 🙂
    And if you totally want to get your mind off of your stress for even 2 seconds, try entering my contest. Sometimes, having something totally silly to do helps alleviate worry. If not, just come read the other entries. They are funny!
    http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/

  24. Hallie

    You know how I can tell that no matter what the outcome, you WILL get through this? Cuz even during an obvious time of despair, you came up with a witty title for your blog. NOT MY BREAST DAY sure hit the nail on the head.
    I believe you may just be one of the strongest women I’ve even “met.”
    I’ll send you ever positive bit of mojo I can muster from freezing cold Maine.
    Hallie 🙂
    And if you totally want to get your mind off of your stress for even 2 seconds, try entering my contest. Sometimes, having something totally silly to do helps alleviate worry. If not, just come read the other entries. They are funny!
    http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/

  25. Donna in VA

    My first thought was a very sarcastic, “Ho Ho Ho! Merry Freakin’ Christmas!” I am so sorry that you have to go through this. . . especially right now, during the holidays, after the two years of medical Hell you’ve already endured. My heart truly goes out to you and I pray the biopsy comes back negative.
    Bless your heart!
    You’ve got a load of support behind you and a ton of prayers. I hope it helps.

  26. Donna in VA

    My first thought was a very sarcastic, “Ho Ho Ho! Merry Freakin’ Christmas!” I am so sorry that you have to go through this. . . especially right now, during the holidays, after the two years of medical Hell you’ve already endured. My heart truly goes out to you and I pray the biopsy comes back negative.
    Bless your heart!
    You’ve got a load of support behind you and a ton of prayers. I hope it helps.

  27. Donna in VA

    My first thought was a very sarcastic, “Ho Ho Ho! Merry Freakin’ Christmas!” I am so sorry that you have to go through this. . . especially right now, during the holidays, after the two years of medical Hell you’ve already endured. My heart truly goes out to you and I pray the biopsy comes back negative.
    Bless your heart!
    You’ve got a load of support behind you and a ton of prayers. I hope it helps.

  28. Debrabby

    I understand your feelings totally, given all that you have been through THIS is just the one straw that did it to break the camel’s back. I do believe it’s good to go and have that biopsy. Then you will know exactly what this ‘area of concern’ is. It’s important especially since you had an abnormal test last year. I am glad that you have been able to get your tests done so quickly and I am really sending positive vibes and hugs your way.

  29. Debrabby

    I understand your feelings totally, given all that you have been through THIS is just the one straw that did it to break the camel’s back. I do believe it’s good to go and have that biopsy. Then you will know exactly what this ‘area of concern’ is. It’s important especially since you had an abnormal test last year. I am glad that you have been able to get your tests done so quickly and I am really sending positive vibes and hugs your way.

  30. Debrabby

    I understand your feelings totally, given all that you have been through THIS is just the one straw that did it to break the camel’s back. I do believe it’s good to go and have that biopsy. Then you will know exactly what this ‘area of concern’ is. It’s important especially since you had an abnormal test last year. I am glad that you have been able to get your tests done so quickly and I am really sending positive vibes and hugs your way.

  31. Kate

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I willbe praying that everything is fine.

  32. Kate

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I willbe praying that everything is fine.

  33. Kate

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I willbe praying that everything is fine.

  34. Jan

    Oh, hon.
    You should have my number if you need to talk. If you can’t find it, send me an email and I’ll call YOU.

  35. Jan

    Oh, hon.
    You should have my number if you need to talk. If you can’t find it, send me an email and I’ll call YOU.

  36. Jan

    Oh, hon.
    You should have my number if you need to talk. If you can’t find it, send me an email and I’ll call YOU.

  37. fraizerbaz

    It was very hard for me to sit still as I was reading this. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this right now. Hang in there, you’re going to be alright!

  38. fraizerbaz

    It was very hard for me to sit still as I was reading this. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this right now. Hang in there, you’re going to be alright!

  39. fraizerbaz

    It was very hard for me to sit still as I was reading this. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this right now. Hang in there, you’re going to be alright!

  40. goodfather

    I can’t imagine how hard yesterday was. I wish there was more I could do, beyond writing this pathetic comment. I’m virtually in your corner, offering as much telepathic love and support as I can.
    I apologize for any Thompson Twins songs that get mixed in, they’re going through my head all the time.
    ((((((((24)))))))))

  41. goodfather

    I can’t imagine how hard yesterday was. I wish there was more I could do, beyond writing this pathetic comment. I’m virtually in your corner, offering as much telepathic love and support as I can.
    I apologize for any Thompson Twins songs that get mixed in, they’re going through my head all the time.
    ((((((((24)))))))))

  42. goodfather

    I can’t imagine how hard yesterday was. I wish there was more I could do, beyond writing this pathetic comment. I’m virtually in your corner, offering as much telepathic love and support as I can.
    I apologize for any Thompson Twins songs that get mixed in, they’re going through my head all the time.
    ((((((((24)))))))))

  43. EricaB

    Sounds to me like it would have been easier to schedule the biopsy earlier than put you through that horror!
    Green light, green light…
    And lots of hugs!

  44. EricaB

    Sounds to me like it would have been easier to schedule the biopsy earlier than put you through that horror!
    Green light, green light…
    And lots of hugs!

  45. EricaB

    Sounds to me like it would have been easier to schedule the biopsy earlier than put you through that horror!
    Green light, green light…
    And lots of hugs!

  46. ballerinatoes

    I am so sorry about your boob drama…I can truly empathize. Is it going to be a needle biopsy? If so, TAKE A FRIEND and something for anxiety. Not to scare you, but it is a big fucking needle. And afterwards, go home, take a pain pill and put an ice pack on your boob.
    I had the mammogram, the ultrasound, the appointment at the surgeons office with a bunch of damn residents in the room looking at my boobs while a sat there topless, a needle biopsy and then a lumpectomy. Fortunately, it was not cancerous. But I was freaked the fuck out for the entire month that all that was taking place. Sending you all the good wishes in the world. If you need anything or have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

  47. ballerinatoes

    I am so sorry about your boob drama…I can truly empathize. Is it going to be a needle biopsy? If so, TAKE A FRIEND and something for anxiety. Not to scare you, but it is a big fucking needle. And afterwards, go home, take a pain pill and put an ice pack on your boob.
    I had the mammogram, the ultrasound, the appointment at the surgeons office with a bunch of damn residents in the room looking at my boobs while a sat there topless, a needle biopsy and then a lumpectomy. Fortunately, it was not cancerous. But I was freaked the fuck out for the entire month that all that was taking place. Sending you all the good wishes in the world. If you need anything or have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

  48. ballerinatoes

    I am so sorry about your boob drama…I can truly empathize. Is it going to be a needle biopsy? If so, TAKE A FRIEND and something for anxiety. Not to scare you, but it is a big fucking needle. And afterwards, go home, take a pain pill and put an ice pack on your boob.
    I had the mammogram, the ultrasound, the appointment at the surgeons office with a bunch of damn residents in the room looking at my boobs while a sat there topless, a needle biopsy and then a lumpectomy. Fortunately, it was not cancerous. But I was freaked the fuck out for the entire month that all that was taking place. Sending you all the good wishes in the world. If you need anything or have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

  49. Kelly

    Deep breaths. One day at a time. You CAN get thru this. We are all there with you even if we aren’t physically there with you. Hugs, hugs, hugs!

  50. Kelly

    Deep breaths. One day at a time. You CAN get thru this. We are all there with you even if we aren’t physically there with you. Hugs, hugs, hugs!

  51. Kelly

    Deep breaths. One day at a time. You CAN get thru this. We are all there with you even if we aren’t physically there with you. Hugs, hugs, hugs!

  52. Daners

    Big hugs to you during this stressful time. Please know the lurkers who read you blog are out here wishing you the very best.

  53. Daners

    Big hugs to you during this stressful time. Please know the lurkers who read you blog are out here wishing you the very best.

  54. Daners

    Big hugs to you during this stressful time. Please know the lurkers who read you blog are out here wishing you the very best.

  55. Midlife Slices

    Suz, I pray that the biopsy clears all your fears. I went through this same thing, as I’ve already told you. I believe it will be o.k. and will believe that with all my heart. Just try to breathe and not panic.
    btw, I will be postponing your virtual gift until a better time. I’ve learned from GF’s gift that timing is everything and I don’t want to chance it.
    You are in my prayers

  56. Midlife Slices

    Suz, I pray that the biopsy clears all your fears. I went through this same thing, as I’ve already told you. I believe it will be o.k. and will believe that with all my heart. Just try to breathe and not panic.
    btw, I will be postponing your virtual gift until a better time. I’ve learned from GF’s gift that timing is everything and I don’t want to chance it.
    You are in my prayers

  57. Midlife Slices

    Suz, I pray that the biopsy clears all your fears. I went through this same thing, as I’ve already told you. I believe it will be o.k. and will believe that with all my heart. Just try to breathe and not panic.
    btw, I will be postponing your virtual gift until a better time. I’ve learned from GF’s gift that timing is everything and I don’t want to chance it.
    You are in my prayers

  58. churchpunkmom

    Wowzas.. I agree, a biopsy is better than being sent home with ‘we think you’re clear’.. and getting in ‘as soon as possible’ is certainly better than waiting with the possibility (God forbid) of something going from bad to worse..
    I know what you mean by having more than you can deal with. I’m there too.. though mine is emotional stress over the past year, and it’s just. become. too. much.
    Hang on.. don’t give up hope. I’m praying for you.

  59. churchpunkmom

    Wowzas.. I agree, a biopsy is better than being sent home with ‘we think you’re clear’.. and getting in ‘as soon as possible’ is certainly better than waiting with the possibility (God forbid) of something going from bad to worse..
    I know what you mean by having more than you can deal with. I’m there too.. though mine is emotional stress over the past year, and it’s just. become. too. much.
    Hang on.. don’t give up hope. I’m praying for you.

  60. churchpunkmom

    Wowzas.. I agree, a biopsy is better than being sent home with ‘we think you’re clear’.. and getting in ‘as soon as possible’ is certainly better than waiting with the possibility (God forbid) of something going from bad to worse..
    I know what you mean by having more than you can deal with. I’m there too.. though mine is emotional stress over the past year, and it’s just. become. too. much.
    Hang on.. don’t give up hope. I’m praying for you.

  61. Linda T

    24- I wandered over here from Jan’s Sushi Bar a few months ago and I keep coming back and I always love your posts and insight- Until now. Now all I can say is that although we have never met- I am really on your side and hope with all my heart everything turns out OK. (((hugs)))

  62. Linda T

    24- I wandered over here from Jan’s Sushi Bar a few months ago and I keep coming back and I always love your posts and insight- Until now. Now all I can say is that although we have never met- I am really on your side and hope with all my heart everything turns out OK. (((hugs)))

  63. Linda T

    24- I wandered over here from Jan’s Sushi Bar a few months ago and I keep coming back and I always love your posts and insight- Until now. Now all I can say is that although we have never met- I am really on your side and hope with all my heart everything turns out OK. (((hugs)))

  64. Slick

    Awww hun, I’m very familiar with metastasized breast cancer….
    I’m sending very, very positive thoughts your way…..
    Thinking of you, girl.

  65. Slick

    Awww hun, I’m very familiar with metastasized breast cancer….
    I’m sending very, very positive thoughts your way…..
    Thinking of you, girl.

  66. Slick

    Awww hun, I’m very familiar with metastasized breast cancer….
    I’m sending very, very positive thoughts your way…..
    Thinking of you, girl.

  67. shonda

    I will say prayers for you. My mother had breast cancer when she was 35. It was a tough go, but we got through it. In fact, she swears by drinking organic juice because, in spite of chemo to treat stage 3 cancer, she never lost her hair. If you want more info on that, email me. I know my mom would love to help you if you need it.

  68. shonda

    I will say prayers for you. My mother had breast cancer when she was 35. It was a tough go, but we got through it. In fact, she swears by drinking organic juice because, in spite of chemo to treat stage 3 cancer, she never lost her hair. If you want more info on that, email me. I know my mom would love to help you if you need it.

  69. shonda

    I will say prayers for you. My mother had breast cancer when she was 35. It was a tough go, but we got through it. In fact, she swears by drinking organic juice because, in spite of chemo to treat stage 3 cancer, she never lost her hair. If you want more info on that, email me. I know my mom would love to help you if you need it.

  70. mama llama

    I am just in tears reading what you have to go through, 24. Bedside manner is completely forgotten and nobody deserves to go through what you have been through in such a cold, insensitive manner.
    My heart aches terribly for you.
    Be well.

  71. mama llama

    I am just in tears reading what you have to go through, 24. Bedside manner is completely forgotten and nobody deserves to go through what you have been through in such a cold, insensitive manner.
    My heart aches terribly for you.
    Be well.

  72. mama llama

    I am just in tears reading what you have to go through, 24. Bedside manner is completely forgotten and nobody deserves to go through what you have been through in such a cold, insensitive manner.
    My heart aches terribly for you.
    Be well.

  73. Sandra

    Fuck. Am I allowed to say that?
    That totally sucks. Fuck is the first word that came to mind when I read your last sentence. But even as I was reading your post I was saying to myself, just stop the tests already and do a biopsy. Quit torturing her.
    If you were my friend in real life this is what I would say to you.
    I’m SO sorry. You don’t deserve this. You’ve certainly had WAY MORE than you’re share. No one who has gone through what you’ve gone through deserves this. It’s like a cruel fricken joke.
    We can just hope that what they find in the biopsy is benign, since anything else would just be unthinkable.
    You have an entire internet pulling for you. Positive energy is coming your way and will continue to come.
    ((((((HUGS)))))

  74. Sandra

    Fuck. Am I allowed to say that?
    That totally sucks. Fuck is the first word that came to mind when I read your last sentence. But even as I was reading your post I was saying to myself, just stop the tests already and do a biopsy. Quit torturing her.
    If you were my friend in real life this is what I would say to you.
    I’m SO sorry. You don’t deserve this. You’ve certainly had WAY MORE than you’re share. No one who has gone through what you’ve gone through deserves this. It’s like a cruel fricken joke.
    We can just hope that what they find in the biopsy is benign, since anything else would just be unthinkable.
    You have an entire internet pulling for you. Positive energy is coming your way and will continue to come.
    ((((((HUGS)))))

  75. Sandra

    Fuck. Am I allowed to say that?
    That totally sucks. Fuck is the first word that came to mind when I read your last sentence. But even as I was reading your post I was saying to myself, just stop the tests already and do a biopsy. Quit torturing her.
    If you were my friend in real life this is what I would say to you.
    I’m SO sorry. You don’t deserve this. You’ve certainly had WAY MORE than you’re share. No one who has gone through what you’ve gone through deserves this. It’s like a cruel fricken joke.
    We can just hope that what they find in the biopsy is benign, since anything else would just be unthinkable.
    You have an entire internet pulling for you. Positive energy is coming your way and will continue to come.
    ((((((HUGS)))))

  76. emmysuh

    I am so sorry you had to go through all this. I hope everything turns out okay. I’ll be thinking of you.

  77. emmysuh

    I am so sorry you had to go through all this. I hope everything turns out okay. I’ll be thinking of you.

  78. emmysuh

    I am so sorry you had to go through all this. I hope everything turns out okay. I’ll be thinking of you.

  79. Kristan

    I’m sure you’ll want to hit me for saying this, but YES YOU CAN get through it.
    Honestly that’s one of the most amazing things about the human heart and spirit: we are so, SO strong. So much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
    You can get through it, whatever it is, and you WILL. And you will do so with your beloved family, and all of us (unhelpful as we may be), supporting you.

  80. Kristan

    I’m sure you’ll want to hit me for saying this, but YES YOU CAN get through it.
    Honestly that’s one of the most amazing things about the human heart and spirit: we are so, SO strong. So much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
    You can get through it, whatever it is, and you WILL. And you will do so with your beloved family, and all of us (unhelpful as we may be), supporting you.

  81. Kristan

    I’m sure you’ll want to hit me for saying this, but YES YOU CAN get through it.
    Honestly that’s one of the most amazing things about the human heart and spirit: we are so, SO strong. So much stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
    You can get through it, whatever it is, and you WILL. And you will do so with your beloved family, and all of us (unhelpful as we may be), supporting you.

  82. Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Gosh Suzanne, what a horrible day for you! Hopefully, they are just being overly cautious!
    The first time (very first time) I went in for a mammogram because I had turned 40, I was very nervous and just wanted to get it over with. Instead they sent me to a follow-up mammogram somewhere else in town which involved sitting in a waiting room with a blue paper gown with other people waiting in blue paper gowns while going in every 20-30 minutes for a mammogram as they checked further and further and finally an ultrasound where they decided it was a harmless cyst.
    You, my dear, have been through enough already and need to get through this biopsy with flying colors. I will be thinking of you. Please let us know how everything goes. I’ll need to know that everything is OK. And it will be OK, OK?
    xo
    Margaret

  83. Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Gosh Suzanne, what a horrible day for you! Hopefully, they are just being overly cautious!
    The first time (very first time) I went in for a mammogram because I had turned 40, I was very nervous and just wanted to get it over with. Instead they sent me to a follow-up mammogram somewhere else in town which involved sitting in a waiting room with a blue paper gown with other people waiting in blue paper gowns while going in every 20-30 minutes for a mammogram as they checked further and further and finally an ultrasound where they decided it was a harmless cyst.
    You, my dear, have been through enough already and need to get through this biopsy with flying colors. I will be thinking of you. Please let us know how everything goes. I’ll need to know that everything is OK. And it will be OK, OK?
    xo
    Margaret

  84. Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Gosh Suzanne, what a horrible day for you! Hopefully, they are just being overly cautious!
    The first time (very first time) I went in for a mammogram because I had turned 40, I was very nervous and just wanted to get it over with. Instead they sent me to a follow-up mammogram somewhere else in town which involved sitting in a waiting room with a blue paper gown with other people waiting in blue paper gowns while going in every 20-30 minutes for a mammogram as they checked further and further and finally an ultrasound where they decided it was a harmless cyst.
    You, my dear, have been through enough already and need to get through this biopsy with flying colors. I will be thinking of you. Please let us know how everything goes. I’ll need to know that everything is OK. And it will be OK, OK?
    xo
    Margaret

  85. Pam in NZ

    You poor thing. What a rotten, rotten day you had. But don’t despair, fight that temptation. The fact that they made you have so many mamms means that whatever’s bothering them must be small. Small is good. And most lumps aren’t, repeat aren’t cancer. And even if yours turns out to be that – well, again, been there, done that, still here ten years on. Don’t panic.

  86. Pam in NZ

    You poor thing. What a rotten, rotten day you had. But don’t despair, fight that temptation. The fact that they made you have so many mamms means that whatever’s bothering them must be small. Small is good. And most lumps aren’t, repeat aren’t cancer. And even if yours turns out to be that – well, again, been there, done that, still here ten years on. Don’t panic.

  87. Pam in NZ

    You poor thing. What a rotten, rotten day you had. But don’t despair, fight that temptation. The fact that they made you have so many mamms means that whatever’s bothering them must be small. Small is good. And most lumps aren’t, repeat aren’t cancer. And even if yours turns out to be that – well, again, been there, done that, still here ten years on. Don’t panic.

  88. Stan Scott

    If you do have breast cancer (God forbid) make sure to read about the work done by Wei Zen Wei, a professor in the Department of Immunology at Wayne State University. She has developed a vaccine which cures breast cancer and is currently in human testing. No cutting and no poisonous chemotherapy required.

  89. Stan Scott

    If you do have breast cancer (God forbid) make sure to read about the work done by Wei Zen Wei, a professor in the Department of Immunology at Wayne State University. She has developed a vaccine which cures breast cancer and is currently in human testing. No cutting and no poisonous chemotherapy required.

  90. Stan Scott

    If you do have breast cancer (God forbid) make sure to read about the work done by Wei Zen Wei, a professor in the Department of Immunology at Wayne State University. She has developed a vaccine which cures breast cancer and is currently in human testing. No cutting and no poisonous chemotherapy required.

  91. Mama Dawg

    Oh, shit. I’m just now catching up and this was the first post I read on your site.
    Good wishes coming your way. That’s all I can offer here in anon blog land.

  92. Mama Dawg

    Oh, shit. I’m just now catching up and this was the first post I read on your site.
    Good wishes coming your way. That’s all I can offer here in anon blog land.

  93. Mama Dawg

    Oh, shit. I’m just now catching up and this was the first post I read on your site.
    Good wishes coming your way. That’s all I can offer here in anon blog land.

  94. Bev

    I am sorry you are having to go through this. It is especially difficult since Briefcase is not where he can give you some emotional support. At times like these, I truly depend on my family and friends to get me through. Hopefully, your family and friends will step up to the plate and help you. I wish I lived nearby, I’d come give you a BIG hug and take you for a nice relaxing spa day. Since I am half way across the country, consider yourself hugged. I’ll be praying for GOOD results on the biopsy.

  95. Bev

    I am sorry you are having to go through this. It is especially difficult since Briefcase is not where he can give you some emotional support. At times like these, I truly depend on my family and friends to get me through. Hopefully, your family and friends will step up to the plate and help you. I wish I lived nearby, I’d come give you a BIG hug and take you for a nice relaxing spa day. Since I am half way across the country, consider yourself hugged. I’ll be praying for GOOD results on the biopsy.

  96. Bev

    I am sorry you are having to go through this. It is especially difficult since Briefcase is not where he can give you some emotional support. At times like these, I truly depend on my family and friends to get me through. Hopefully, your family and friends will step up to the plate and help you. I wish I lived nearby, I’d come give you a BIG hug and take you for a nice relaxing spa day. Since I am half way across the country, consider yourself hugged. I’ll be praying for GOOD results on the biopsy.

  97. Katie

    oh goodness. So sorry to hear this bad news. thinking of you and sending you good thoughts!

  98. Katie

    oh goodness. So sorry to hear this bad news. thinking of you and sending you good thoughts!

  99. Katie

    oh goodness. So sorry to hear this bad news. thinking of you and sending you good thoughts!

  100. MLS

    I swear I left a comment earlier but it’s not here so maybe not. Anyway, I’m going to be praying for your biopsy to be clear and everything o.k.

  101. MLS

    I swear I left a comment earlier but it’s not here so maybe not. Anyway, I’m going to be praying for your biopsy to be clear and everything o.k.

  102. MLS

    I swear I left a comment earlier but it’s not here so maybe not. Anyway, I’m going to be praying for your biopsy to be clear and everything o.k.

  103. Gina

    I am sending really really positive thoughts your way, everything will be ok!! 🙂

  104. Gina

    I am sending really really positive thoughts your way, everything will be ok!! 🙂

  105. Gina

    I am sending really really positive thoughts your way, everything will be ok!! 🙂

  106. merlotmom

    I’m sorry you’re having a crappy day (few years). They should not have put you through that stress, they should have done the freakin’ biopsy by hour two! My sister had one and it came out fine. There is hope. I’m thinking good thoughts for you. 🙂

  107. merlotmom

    I’m sorry you’re having a crappy day (few years). They should not have put you through that stress, they should have done the freakin’ biopsy by hour two! My sister had one and it came out fine. There is hope. I’m thinking good thoughts for you. 🙂

  108. merlotmom

    I’m sorry you’re having a crappy day (few years). They should not have put you through that stress, they should have done the freakin’ biopsy by hour two! My sister had one and it came out fine. There is hope. I’m thinking good thoughts for you. 🙂

  109. Smart Mouth Broad

    It’s been my experience that it’s the not knowing that is the worst. You can make it so much worse than the reality in your head.
    ((((hugs))))

  110. Smart Mouth Broad

    It’s been my experience that it’s the not knowing that is the worst. You can make it so much worse than the reality in your head.
    ((((hugs))))

  111. Smart Mouth Broad

    It’s been my experience that it’s the not knowing that is the worst. You can make it so much worse than the reality in your head.
    ((((hugs))))

  112. slouching mom

    not the BREAST day…
    hahahahahahah!
    (i’m laughing only because everything’s OK with you, you understand.)

  113. slouching mom

    not the BREAST day…
    hahahahahahah!
    (i’m laughing only because everything’s OK with you, you understand.)

  114. slouching mom

    not the BREAST day…
    hahahahahahah!
    (i’m laughing only because everything’s OK with you, you understand.)

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