I'm being busy-lazy (busy with holiday stuff and lazy on the blogging front) until January rolls around. Stop judging, I bet you're being busy-lazy too. I get people searching for some weird shit and landing here on Twenty Four At Heart. Most of the searches make me smile or laugh, but a few are just … strange. Once again, I'm copping out of a regular post by sharing what people have typed into their search engines. The searches are in bold print; my comments are in standard typeface.
Naked 40 year old asses Really? This is NOT something you want to see!
Men and their fragile egos Yes, yes, yes! Men DO have fragile egos.
What is the surprising touch that whips a guy on date #1? I'd tell you, but it's my very special secret.
His midlife girlfriend She's not here. If he has one, I suggest you get a midlife boyfriend. Tit for tat (so to speak)!
My big boobs hang in front while I pedal my bike Try wearing a bra and shirt!
Is screaming during sex legitimate? "Legitimate"? Are you a lawyer?
Losing my best friend because he fell in love with me This happens to me ALL THE TIME!
Married men & Flirting & Giving Compliments Really, messing with a married man is never a good idea. For anyone.
The woman with the biggest boobs in the world It feels like it sometimes, but I'm sure someone's got bigger boobs than I do.
Don't flirt on a nude beach It goes against nude beach etiquette and guidelines.
Chocolate chip sex Where do you PUT the chocolate chips?
Sucking on his earlobes Behind closed doors please!
Penis protectors I've gotten dozens of searches for these! They're called CUPS!
Do ultrasound techs tell patients if they see cancer? No, no, they don't.
Physical therapist is removing my panties You need a new physical therapist.
Caught naked in tanning bed Well, you probably didn't want tan lines. I can't say I blame you.
The Real Housewives of Orange County are disgusting sluts I take exception. I'm a real housewife of Orange County and for the last few centuries I've only been with Briefcase.
Is plaid okay for a night out? I wouldn't suggest plaid. Try a little black dress – you can't go wrong!
Should fathers take son to buy jockstrap? If they want to avoid the embarrassment I created when trying to buy one, then yes – absolutely!
My braless pics You're searching for your own braless pics on the Internet? Having regrets?
Braless beauties Well yes, thank you!
A cookie lasts longer than sex There's this new drug called Viagra ….
My wife is naked under her dress So why are you sitting at the computer typing this into Google?
What I'd give for a 24 year old man! Heh … wouldn't all of us?!
Caught nude in shower with door open If you left the door open while showering you wanted to be "caught nude."
She saw me naked in the pool And …???
Porno scenes during dental exam My dentist shows movies while he works, but so far no porn.
What goes through a man's mind when he sees an attractive woman? Sex. Didn't you ask me this once before?
Need a suck, tuck neck lift as seen on TV You should never fully believe advertising!
How do I know if my physical therapist is flirting with me? If you can't tell, the answer is "not flirting." And really who cares? Flirting or not – it isn't a big deal.
Naked cookouts Better known as wiener roasts.
I have a pantieless girlfriend Congratulations!
What's the best thing about having sex with 24 year olds? They're 24!
Why do men hate to be nagged? Women hate to be nagged too. Nagging sucks.
I'm tired of my husband groping me! Communication, affection .. and no groping. Every woman's wish list!
Gynecologist "massage me" stories Hands over ears. Don't want to hear this! La la la la la!! Go away now!
Hot naked guys on pots I'm all for hot naked guys … but on POTS???
Pictures of moms – clothing optional You should maybe go talk to Dr. Freud.
My husband is having phone sex and deleting all the messages he gets from all those sluts. If he's having phone sex with sluts, what does that make your husband? I'll tell you …. It makes him a MAN SLUT!