Cyclops

I've been trying not to write about PT.  I figured you were tired of hearing about my ongoing fights with The Torturer.  And really, how boring is it to hear my struggles as I attempt to get my arm working again post car accident?

The problem is, PT is just a hotbed of writing material.  It's like an ongoing soap opera with a host of ever changing characters.  In my wildest imagination, I could not make up the characters and scenarios I witness there.  Yesterday I was chatting with a friend and telling him about a new patient at PT.  I thought I'd share the story with you too.

There's the cutest looking little old man who comes in as a patient now.  He is adorable to look at. He's wrinkly and round and he has a twinkle in his eye.  He always wears a baseball style hat proudly proclaiming he's a World War II Veteran. The hat has a couple medals pinned to it.  I guess being a World War II veteran would put him in his eighties.

I've nicknamed him Cyclops.

Cyclops tells stories nonstop the entire time he is at PT.  Story after story after story; smiling all the while.  The Torturer jokes that, "Cyclops is full of a lot of stories and maybe one or two of them might be true."  I'm not as much of a doubter.  The man has over eighty years behind him, I'd say it's likely he's experienced some very good true stories in his lifetime.

However, someone ought to tell Cyclops World War II is over.  He still rants about hating "those damn Japs."  It makes you cringe, doesn't it?  Helloooooooo Cyclops … the war is over! The year is 2008, welcome to the New World!  Bigotry is no longer in fashion.  He recounts stories of being shot at during the war and doing some shooting too.  He'll tell you the closest I ever came to dying war stories for hours if you'll listen.

Cyclops was married to the same woman for decades and decades.  She died a few years back from Alzheimer's.  You can still see the sadness and grief he carries with him over his loss.  His wife's family was EYE-talian.  Yes, EYE-talian.  And they were connected to "the mob" too.  He laughs about his Mafia connections and how he "stayed alive" even though he was around "the mob" a lot.

He can't read or write.  Cyclops couldn't fill out the new patient forms at PT and the receptionist had to help him.  He brags about how he "fooled everyone in the Navy" so they never knew he was illiterate.  He also brags that he worked for Ford "for forty years" in spite of his lack of literacy.  (No cracks about American made cars or the car industry, okay?)

Also, "illiterate" and "literacy" are my words not his.  I'm not sure he would know what they mean.  He simply says, "I can't read and I can't write and I never have."  He says this pretty frequently.

I've nicknamed him Cyclops because he only has one real eye.  His other eye is a glass eye.  Oddly enough, the one story I haven't heard is how he came to have a glass eye.  

The strangest thing is, he constantly threatens to take his eye out.  If I'm joking or teasing him about something he'll say, "Gonna take my eye out if you keep that up!"  Or, "Do that again and I'll pop my eye out!"  He is not joking at all when he says it.

Can I just say, if he DOES pop his eye out in front of me, I will be traumatized for life?  

I told The Torturer he needs to have a serious talk with Cyclops.  He needs to tell him that popping his eye in and out in front of other patients is NOT acceptable.  (It's BLUE, just in case you were wondering!)  

The Torturer laughed at my request.  He thought it was hilarious. I am not joking though. If that blue eye comes out of Cyclops head I'm likely to start screaming at the top of my lungs.  I might not ever stop.  Seeing an eye come out of someone's face just might be the thing to push me over the edge.

As I was leaving PT yesterday Cyclops said, "You're a real cute girlie, but feisty!  I might need to pop my eye out at you yet."

Omigod …!  

84 Responses to “Cyclops”

  1. mama llama

    Oh, now that is funny.
    Perhaps that is how he thinks he still has a way of getting the girls to react, by popping his eye out…? (eeeew, heebie jeebie moment)…
    I love your PT stories. What characters…what real people you meet. Thanks for sharing.
    Be well, 24.

  2. mama llama

    Oh, now that is funny.
    Perhaps that is how he thinks he still has a way of getting the girls to react, by popping his eye out…? (eeeew, heebie jeebie moment)…
    I love your PT stories. What characters…what real people you meet. Thanks for sharing.
    Be well, 24.

  3. mama llama

    Oh, now that is funny.
    Perhaps that is how he thinks he still has a way of getting the girls to react, by popping his eye out…? (eeeew, heebie jeebie moment)…
    I love your PT stories. What characters…what real people you meet. Thanks for sharing.
    Be well, 24.

  4. Larissa

    Oh, how your PT sessions are SO much more interesting than mine!
    Mine pretty much are along the lines of: “You’ve got so much tension all through here… I’m gonna slacken this muscle for a bit…These are reflexology points…blah blah blah wah wah wah wah wahhhh…
    All I know is that I feel a l*little* better for a couple hours. Then it’s backpain hell all over again. Too bad with all the touchin’ he can’t pop those herniated discs back in! Heh.

  5. Larissa

    Oh, how your PT sessions are SO much more interesting than mine!
    Mine pretty much are along the lines of: “You’ve got so much tension all through here… I’m gonna slacken this muscle for a bit…These are reflexology points…blah blah blah wah wah wah wah wahhhh…
    All I know is that I feel a l*little* better for a couple hours. Then it’s backpain hell all over again. Too bad with all the touchin’ he can’t pop those herniated discs back in! Heh.

  6. Larissa

    Oh, how your PT sessions are SO much more interesting than mine!
    Mine pretty much are along the lines of: “You’ve got so much tension all through here… I’m gonna slacken this muscle for a bit…These are reflexology points…blah blah blah wah wah wah wah wahhhh…
    All I know is that I feel a l*little* better for a couple hours. Then it’s backpain hell all over again. Too bad with all the touchin’ he can’t pop those herniated discs back in! Heh.

  7. Joanne

    next time he says
    “closest I ever got to dying”; tell him one more birthday and he’ll be even closer!

  8. Joanne

    next time he says
    “closest I ever got to dying”; tell him one more birthday and he’ll be even closer!

  9. Joanne

    next time he says
    “closest I ever got to dying”; tell him one more birthday and he’ll be even closer!

  10. Christine

    So then if you’re like me, that one dude in Pirates of the Caribbean that loses his eye and pops it back in is absolutely gross, and anytime you flip through the channels and come across some eye surgery or any kind of plastic surgery anywhere NEAR the eyes, you’re completely grossed out. And if it is plastic surgery, especially near the eyes, you’re ready to vomit and maybe pass out.
    And yet assisting with surgeries and treating mangled dogs and cats is a-okay.
    Ok, so you’re maybe not like that last part, but you get my point.
    And hey — at least you’re doing PT. I gave up when I broke my ankle and never got to play soccer again. All I got was the need to whine before a storm comes.

  11. Christine

    So then if you’re like me, that one dude in Pirates of the Caribbean that loses his eye and pops it back in is absolutely gross, and anytime you flip through the channels and come across some eye surgery or any kind of plastic surgery anywhere NEAR the eyes, you’re completely grossed out. And if it is plastic surgery, especially near the eyes, you’re ready to vomit and maybe pass out.
    And yet assisting with surgeries and treating mangled dogs and cats is a-okay.
    Ok, so you’re maybe not like that last part, but you get my point.
    And hey — at least you’re doing PT. I gave up when I broke my ankle and never got to play soccer again. All I got was the need to whine before a storm comes.

  12. Christine

    So then if you’re like me, that one dude in Pirates of the Caribbean that loses his eye and pops it back in is absolutely gross, and anytime you flip through the channels and come across some eye surgery or any kind of plastic surgery anywhere NEAR the eyes, you’re completely grossed out. And if it is plastic surgery, especially near the eyes, you’re ready to vomit and maybe pass out.
    And yet assisting with surgeries and treating mangled dogs and cats is a-okay.
    Ok, so you’re maybe not like that last part, but you get my point.
    And hey — at least you’re doing PT. I gave up when I broke my ankle and never got to play soccer again. All I got was the need to whine before a storm comes.

  13. SSG

    hahaha funny. Maybe he should pop his eye out! Are you going to have nightmares? My uncle used to pop his false teeth (4 front ones) while talking to you so they stuck out of his mouth. Yuck. But funny as a child!

  14. SSG

    hahaha funny. Maybe he should pop his eye out! Are you going to have nightmares? My uncle used to pop his false teeth (4 front ones) while talking to you so they stuck out of his mouth. Yuck. But funny as a child!

  15. SSG

    hahaha funny. Maybe he should pop his eye out! Are you going to have nightmares? My uncle used to pop his false teeth (4 front ones) while talking to you so they stuck out of his mouth. Yuck. But funny as a child!

  16. Donna in VA

    I think he’s flirting with you. Kinda like little boys pull a girl’s pigtail and then run . . . because he fancies her. I think Cyclops is just a little rusty. . . and he hasn’t caught up to modern day.
    Oh – and we’re not weary of your PT stories. You have a very real struggle and you have very real stories unfolding before your very eyes while dealing with your struggles. You’re just keepin’ it real, and that’s why we all keep coming back.
    That and the Joe the Bigamist stories. He is like my online soap opera.

  17. Donna in VA

    I think he’s flirting with you. Kinda like little boys pull a girl’s pigtail and then run . . . because he fancies her. I think Cyclops is just a little rusty. . . and he hasn’t caught up to modern day.
    Oh – and we’re not weary of your PT stories. You have a very real struggle and you have very real stories unfolding before your very eyes while dealing with your struggles. You’re just keepin’ it real, and that’s why we all keep coming back.
    That and the Joe the Bigamist stories. He is like my online soap opera.

  18. Donna in VA

    I think he’s flirting with you. Kinda like little boys pull a girl’s pigtail and then run . . . because he fancies her. I think Cyclops is just a little rusty. . . and he hasn’t caught up to modern day.
    Oh – and we’re not weary of your PT stories. You have a very real struggle and you have very real stories unfolding before your very eyes while dealing with your struggles. You’re just keepin’ it real, and that’s why we all keep coming back.
    That and the Joe the Bigamist stories. He is like my online soap opera.

  19. Jan

    Now I’m going to be morbidly curious as to when he will pop out his eye, what you will have done to precipitate the event, and how you are going to react.
    Hurry up and get it over with. The anticipation is killing me, here.

  20. Jan

    Now I’m going to be morbidly curious as to when he will pop out his eye, what you will have done to precipitate the event, and how you are going to react.
    Hurry up and get it over with. The anticipation is killing me, here.

  21. Jan

    Now I’m going to be morbidly curious as to when he will pop out his eye, what you will have done to precipitate the event, and how you are going to react.
    Hurry up and get it over with. The anticipation is killing me, here.

  22. goodfather

    TOP 10!!!!
    Great story! I was going to go for the ‘eye out for you’ joke, but Margie already beat me to it. So I’ve got nothing.
    Have a great weekend!

  23. goodfather

    TOP 10!!!!
    Great story! I was going to go for the ‘eye out for you’ joke, but Margie already beat me to it. So I’ve got nothing.
    Have a great weekend!

  24. goodfather

    TOP 10!!!!
    Great story! I was going to go for the ‘eye out for you’ joke, but Margie already beat me to it. So I’ve got nothing.
    Have a great weekend!

  25. Sarah

    Man every time I am at the doctor’s office all I ever hear are crazy people trying to get me to convert to their religion. I must look like a sinner? ; )

  26. Sarah

    Man every time I am at the doctor’s office all I ever hear are crazy people trying to get me to convert to their religion. I must look like a sinner? ; )

  27. Sarah

    Man every time I am at the doctor’s office all I ever hear are crazy people trying to get me to convert to their religion. I must look like a sinner? ; )

  28. Sarah

    Man every time I am at the doctor’s office all I ever hear are crazy people trying to get me to convert to their religion. I must look like a sinner? ; )

  29. Sarah

    Man every time I am at the doctor’s office all I ever hear are crazy people trying to get me to convert to their religion. I must look like a sinner? ; )

  30. Sarah

    Man every time I am at the doctor’s office all I ever hear are crazy people trying to get me to convert to their religion. I must look like a sinner? ; )

  31. EricaB

    I went to high school with a buy who had a glass eye who used to threaten to take it out too…I never had the privilege of seeing it. Or, I was lucky enough to never have seen it.
    My best friend’s MIL also has a glass eye. She constantly rags on my BF about her weight…we have decided that she thinks it is okay to do that because when she looks in the mirror she only sees half her weight…
    I can’t believe I am going to post that. I think I am going to go to hell for making fun of someone with a glass eye…

  32. EricaB

    I went to high school with a buy who had a glass eye who used to threaten to take it out too…I never had the privilege of seeing it. Or, I was lucky enough to never have seen it.
    My best friend’s MIL also has a glass eye. She constantly rags on my BF about her weight…we have decided that she thinks it is okay to do that because when she looks in the mirror she only sees half her weight…
    I can’t believe I am going to post that. I think I am going to go to hell for making fun of someone with a glass eye…

  33. EricaB

    I went to high school with a buy who had a glass eye who used to threaten to take it out too…I never had the privilege of seeing it. Or, I was lucky enough to never have seen it.
    My best friend’s MIL also has a glass eye. She constantly rags on my BF about her weight…we have decided that she thinks it is okay to do that because when she looks in the mirror she only sees half her weight…
    I can’t believe I am going to post that. I think I am going to go to hell for making fun of someone with a glass eye…

  34. EricaB

    I went to high school with a buy who had a glass eye who used to threaten to take it out too…I never had the privilege of seeing it. Or, I was lucky enough to never have seen it.
    My best friend’s MIL also has a glass eye. She constantly rags on my BF about her weight…we have decided that she thinks it is okay to do that because when she looks in the mirror she only sees half her weight…
    I can’t believe I am going to post that. I think I am going to go to hell for making fun of someone with a glass eye…

  35. EricaB

    I went to high school with a buy who had a glass eye who used to threaten to take it out too…I never had the privilege of seeing it. Or, I was lucky enough to never have seen it.
    My best friend’s MIL also has a glass eye. She constantly rags on my BF about her weight…we have decided that she thinks it is okay to do that because when she looks in the mirror she only sees half her weight…
    I can’t believe I am going to post that. I think I am going to go to hell for making fun of someone with a glass eye…

  36. EricaB

    I went to high school with a buy who had a glass eye who used to threaten to take it out too…I never had the privilege of seeing it. Or, I was lucky enough to never have seen it.
    My best friend’s MIL also has a glass eye. She constantly rags on my BF about her weight…we have decided that she thinks it is okay to do that because when she looks in the mirror she only sees half her weight…
    I can’t believe I am going to post that. I think I am going to go to hell for making fun of someone with a glass eye…

  37. Sandra

    Cyclops sounds like a hoot! He’s definitely flirting with you. Too cute. I agree, I don’t think I’d want to see the eye come out. Mostly it’s the empty socket that I think would gross me out. I might even faint. I’m a fainter.
    Tell him if he takes it out you’ll faint, you might even hurt yourself when you fall, then he’ll feel bad and he wouldn’t want that now would he?
    p.s. I love love love your stories of PT.

  38. Sandra

    Cyclops sounds like a hoot! He’s definitely flirting with you. Too cute. I agree, I don’t think I’d want to see the eye come out. Mostly it’s the empty socket that I think would gross me out. I might even faint. I’m a fainter.
    Tell him if he takes it out you’ll faint, you might even hurt yourself when you fall, then he’ll feel bad and he wouldn’t want that now would he?
    p.s. I love love love your stories of PT.

  39. Sandra

    Cyclops sounds like a hoot! He’s definitely flirting with you. Too cute. I agree, I don’t think I’d want to see the eye come out. Mostly it’s the empty socket that I think would gross me out. I might even faint. I’m a fainter.
    Tell him if he takes it out you’ll faint, you might even hurt yourself when you fall, then he’ll feel bad and he wouldn’t want that now would he?
    p.s. I love love love your stories of PT.

  40. Linda

    I like your PT stories (and your Starbucks stories and your neckkid stories)! I think his new nickname should be POP-eye! Bwhahahahaha! I crack my self up! snort!

  41. Linda

    I like your PT stories (and your Starbucks stories and your neckkid stories)! I think his new nickname should be POP-eye! Bwhahahahaha! I crack my self up! snort!

  42. Linda

    I like your PT stories (and your Starbucks stories and your neckkid stories)! I think his new nickname should be POP-eye! Bwhahahahaha! I crack my self up! snort!

  43. Kristan

    LOL! If he DOES pop his eye out, you better tell The Torturer to take pics of you screaming!
    (Also… it’s hard for people who have been through conflicts like that not to hold on to some of the hate. Lots of older Chinese people still bear ill will towards the Japanese too. I think it’s the sort of thing we younger generation have to understand and accept but (a) not perpetuate, and (b) not let get out of hand publicly.)

  44. Kristan

    LOL! If he DOES pop his eye out, you better tell The Torturer to take pics of you screaming!
    (Also… it’s hard for people who have been through conflicts like that not to hold on to some of the hate. Lots of older Chinese people still bear ill will towards the Japanese too. I think it’s the sort of thing we younger generation have to understand and accept but (a) not perpetuate, and (b) not let get out of hand publicly.)

  45. Kristan

    LOL! If he DOES pop his eye out, you better tell The Torturer to take pics of you screaming!
    (Also… it’s hard for people who have been through conflicts like that not to hold on to some of the hate. Lots of older Chinese people still bear ill will towards the Japanese too. I think it’s the sort of thing we younger generation have to understand and accept but (a) not perpetuate, and (b) not let get out of hand publicly.)

  46. Deidre

    Ew, I would be totally disgusted too!! And yet absolutely curious too – It’s like raw meat (i am a vegetarian) I am totally grossed out and yet fascinated by it.

  47. Deidre

    Ew, I would be totally disgusted too!! And yet absolutely curious too – It’s like raw meat (i am a vegetarian) I am totally grossed out and yet fascinated by it.

  48. Deidre

    Ew, I would be totally disgusted too!! And yet absolutely curious too – It’s like raw meat (i am a vegetarian) I am totally grossed out and yet fascinated by it.

  49. Laura

    Tell him to do it. Call the bully out. Just because he’s 80 and adorable doesn’t make it okay for him to bully everyone around. I bet his EYEtalian wife put him in his place.

  50. Laura

    Tell him to do it. Call the bully out. Just because he’s 80 and adorable doesn’t make it okay for him to bully everyone around. I bet his EYEtalian wife put him in his place.

  51. Laura

    Tell him to do it. Call the bully out. Just because he’s 80 and adorable doesn’t make it okay for him to bully everyone around. I bet his EYEtalian wife put him in his place.

  52. Helena

    So Cyclops doesn’t like the Japs?! My mother still can’t stand the Germans and they didn’t even invade Sweden (although they flew their bomb-planes really low just to frighten people and that’s what she remembers).
    Haha, you should ask him to take his eye out one day and see if he actually does it. Maybe have a couple of vodkas beforehand to give yourself some strength.

  53. Helena

    So Cyclops doesn’t like the Japs?! My mother still can’t stand the Germans and they didn’t even invade Sweden (although they flew their bomb-planes really low just to frighten people and that’s what she remembers).
    Haha, you should ask him to take his eye out one day and see if he actually does it. Maybe have a couple of vodkas beforehand to give yourself some strength.

  54. Helena

    So Cyclops doesn’t like the Japs?! My mother still can’t stand the Germans and they didn’t even invade Sweden (although they flew their bomb-planes really low just to frighten people and that’s what she remembers).
    Haha, you should ask him to take his eye out one day and see if he actually does it. Maybe have a couple of vodkas beforehand to give yourself some strength.

  55. Gina

    hahahahaha this is too funny!
    i think i’d actually like to see him pop his eye out… i guess im a weirdo! hehe

  56. Gina

    hahahahaha this is too funny!
    i think i’d actually like to see him pop his eye out… i guess im a weirdo! hehe

  57. Gina

    hahahahaha this is too funny!
    i think i’d actually like to see him pop his eye out… i guess im a weirdo! hehe

  58. Gina

    hahaha this is too funny!!
    i think i’d actually like to see him pop his eye out… i guess im a lil strange hehe 🙂

  59. Gina

    hahaha this is too funny!!
    i think i’d actually like to see him pop his eye out… i guess im a lil strange hehe 🙂

  60. Gina

    hahaha this is too funny!!
    i think i’d actually like to see him pop his eye out… i guess im a lil strange hehe 🙂

  61. Gina

    hahaha this is too funny!!
    i think i’d actually like to see him pop his eye out… i guess im a lil strange hehe 🙂

  62. Gina

    hahaha this is too funny!!
    i think i’d actually like to see him pop his eye out… i guess im a lil strange hehe 🙂

  63. Gina

    hahaha this is too funny!!
    i think i’d actually like to see him pop his eye out… i guess im a lil strange hehe 🙂

×

Comments are closed.