No Leisurely Sex Allowed

The neighborhood I live in is ridiculous.  We have rules about rules.  Everyone has to pay an "association fee" each month which is supposed to go towards maintaining the common areas of the neighborhood.  Instead, the association ends up with surplus money and they spend (waste) it on stupid things.  The idiocy of the people "managing" the neighborhood never ceases to amaze me.

Throughout our neighborhood we have speed bumps.  They've been here for years and definitely serve a purpose.  Annoying as speed bumps are to drive over, they do force everyone to maintain a relatively safe speed throughout the community.  There are a lot of kids outside playing in our neighborhood and I'm all for preserving their safety.

Nevertheless, after years of driving over speed bumps, our community recently decided to spend some money on a sign to warn people that the speed bumps exist.  Except, the people ordering the sign made a mistake and misspelled the word b-u-m-p.  Now, instead of a warning about driving conditions, it appears we have a sign warning everyone about what type of sex they can expect to have in our community.
2008 07 13_0677
 

One has to assume that a speed hump is the opposite of a nice, leisurely hump?

78 Responses to “No Leisurely Sex Allowed”

  1. Di

    Wow! Sure haven’t had a speed hump in a while…. maybe I should move to your neighborhood… hahahahaha

  2. Di

    Wow! Sure haven’t had a speed hump in a while…. maybe I should move to your neighborhood… hahahahaha

  3. Di

    Wow! Sure haven’t had a speed hump in a while…. maybe I should move to your neighborhood… hahahahaha

  4. Midlife Mama

    Speed hump?? Sounds like an Olympic sport. Not sure, though, that getting a gold medal in that sport would be a good thing… LOL

  5. Midlife Mama

    Speed hump?? Sounds like an Olympic sport. Not sure, though, that getting a gold medal in that sport would be a good thing… LOL

  6. Midlife Mama

    Speed hump?? Sounds like an Olympic sport. Not sure, though, that getting a gold medal in that sport would be a good thing… LOL

  7. Lo

    dude for some reasoni think this is a SoCal thing. cuz i’ve lived alllll over the U.S. and i’ve never encountered “speed humps” anywhere but there!!
    for some reason Cali people think they should be called humps. like a hump on the road. i always thought it was weird. also? are your ‘speed humps’ a little larger than average ‘speed bumps’?? bc i’ve seen that in SoCal, too, when i lived there, that they were bigger and thus constituted the name ‘hump.’
    phew. never thought i’d talk about the road so vehemently!

  8. Lo

    dude for some reasoni think this is a SoCal thing. cuz i’ve lived alllll over the U.S. and i’ve never encountered “speed humps” anywhere but there!!
    for some reason Cali people think they should be called humps. like a hump on the road. i always thought it was weird. also? are your ‘speed humps’ a little larger than average ‘speed bumps’?? bc i’ve seen that in SoCal, too, when i lived there, that they were bigger and thus constituted the name ‘hump.’
    phew. never thought i’d talk about the road so vehemently!

  9. Lo

    dude for some reasoni think this is a SoCal thing. cuz i’ve lived alllll over the U.S. and i’ve never encountered “speed humps” anywhere but there!!
    for some reason Cali people think they should be called humps. like a hump on the road. i always thought it was weird. also? are your ‘speed humps’ a little larger than average ‘speed bumps’?? bc i’ve seen that in SoCal, too, when i lived there, that they were bigger and thus constituted the name ‘hump.’
    phew. never thought i’d talk about the road so vehemently!

  10. Twenty Four At Heart

    Lo – I’ve lived here my entire life … 5th generation Californian … I have NEVER seen them called anything other than speed BUMPS!
    Although I do agree with some of my readers that there is a time and place for a speed hump.

  11. Twenty Four At Heart

    Lo – I’ve lived here my entire life … 5th generation Californian … I have NEVER seen them called anything other than speed BUMPS!
    Although I do agree with some of my readers that there is a time and place for a speed hump.

  12. Twenty Four At Heart

    Lo – I’ve lived here my entire life … 5th generation Californian … I have NEVER seen them called anything other than speed BUMPS!
    Although I do agree with some of my readers that there is a time and place for a speed hump.

  13. Alntv

    Personally, I don’t mind the occasional speedy hump. But I can’t speak for anyone else…LOL

  14. Alntv

    Personally, I don’t mind the occasional speedy hump. But I can’t speak for anyone else…LOL

  15. Alntv

    Personally, I don’t mind the occasional speedy hump. But I can’t speak for anyone else…LOL

  16. Liz C

    OMG! You too? My SO & I have been laughing about the ‘Speed Hump’ sign in our neighborhood! Every time I see it, I’m compelled to say ‘Excuse me, just one moment… thank you, move along.’
    It never gets old. Well, to me, anyway.
    We’re in WA State. I’ve lived in the midwest and on the east coast and have never seen one before.

  17. Liz C

    OMG! You too? My SO & I have been laughing about the ‘Speed Hump’ sign in our neighborhood! Every time I see it, I’m compelled to say ‘Excuse me, just one moment… thank you, move along.’
    It never gets old. Well, to me, anyway.
    We’re in WA State. I’ve lived in the midwest and on the east coast and have never seen one before.

  18. Liz C

    OMG! You too? My SO & I have been laughing about the ‘Speed Hump’ sign in our neighborhood! Every time I see it, I’m compelled to say ‘Excuse me, just one moment… thank you, move along.’
    It never gets old. Well, to me, anyway.
    We’re in WA State. I’ve lived in the midwest and on the east coast and have never seen one before.

  19. Sandra

    I HAD to google the difference in humps vs. bumps because I’m a research freak. Here you go..
    Speed Humps:
    Are a gradual raised area in the pavement surface extending across the entire travel width
    Typically, 3 to 4 inches in height with a travel length of 12 to 15 ft
    Have evolved from extensive research & testing
    Create a gentle vehicle rocking motion which results in most vehicles slowing to 15 mph at each hump and 25 to 30 mph between properly spaced humps in a system
    Need to be designed and installed with proper planning and engineering
    Effective at controlling speeds without creating accidents or imposing unreasonable or unacceptable safety risks
    Speed Bumps:
    Are an abrupt raised area in the pavement surface
    Effective at controlling speeds on low volume, low speed roads, especially private driveways and parking lots
    Typically, 3 to 6 inches in height with a travel length of 6 in. to 3 ft
    Cause significant driver discomfort at typical residential speeds
    Cause vehicles to slow to 5 mph or less at the bump
    Maintenance headaches especially for plow trucks

  20. Sandra

    I HAD to google the difference in humps vs. bumps because I’m a research freak. Here you go..
    Speed Humps:
    Are a gradual raised area in the pavement surface extending across the entire travel width
    Typically, 3 to 4 inches in height with a travel length of 12 to 15 ft
    Have evolved from extensive research & testing
    Create a gentle vehicle rocking motion which results in most vehicles slowing to 15 mph at each hump and 25 to 30 mph between properly spaced humps in a system
    Need to be designed and installed with proper planning and engineering
    Effective at controlling speeds without creating accidents or imposing unreasonable or unacceptable safety risks
    Speed Bumps:
    Are an abrupt raised area in the pavement surface
    Effective at controlling speeds on low volume, low speed roads, especially private driveways and parking lots
    Typically, 3 to 6 inches in height with a travel length of 6 in. to 3 ft
    Cause significant driver discomfort at typical residential speeds
    Cause vehicles to slow to 5 mph or less at the bump
    Maintenance headaches especially for plow trucks

  21. Sandra

    I HAD to google the difference in humps vs. bumps because I’m a research freak. Here you go..
    Speed Humps:
    Are a gradual raised area in the pavement surface extending across the entire travel width
    Typically, 3 to 4 inches in height with a travel length of 12 to 15 ft
    Have evolved from extensive research & testing
    Create a gentle vehicle rocking motion which results in most vehicles slowing to 15 mph at each hump and 25 to 30 mph between properly spaced humps in a system
    Need to be designed and installed with proper planning and engineering
    Effective at controlling speeds without creating accidents or imposing unreasonable or unacceptable safety risks
    Speed Bumps:
    Are an abrupt raised area in the pavement surface
    Effective at controlling speeds on low volume, low speed roads, especially private driveways and parking lots
    Typically, 3 to 6 inches in height with a travel length of 6 in. to 3 ft
    Cause significant driver discomfort at typical residential speeds
    Cause vehicles to slow to 5 mph or less at the bump
    Maintenance headaches especially for plow trucks

  22. Kristan Hoffman

    Gawd, most neighborhood associations are like that. The cranky old people in charge of our former association actually made my mom cry once, which is INTOLERABLE in my book. So I pretty much hate neighborhood associations on principle. Strangely the one I belong to now has been… fine. It seems to be populated by reasonable human beings. Which really means I’ve been abducted and taken to an alien planet. 😛
    Anyway, yeah, a while back a lot of places changed from speed “bumps” to speed “humps.” I think they were trying to get rid of the negative connotation of “bump” as it relates to cars, but clearly whoever chose the new word was not thinking the issue through…

  23. Kristan Hoffman

    Gawd, most neighborhood associations are like that. The cranky old people in charge of our former association actually made my mom cry once, which is INTOLERABLE in my book. So I pretty much hate neighborhood associations on principle. Strangely the one I belong to now has been… fine. It seems to be populated by reasonable human beings. Which really means I’ve been abducted and taken to an alien planet. 😛
    Anyway, yeah, a while back a lot of places changed from speed “bumps” to speed “humps.” I think they were trying to get rid of the negative connotation of “bump” as it relates to cars, but clearly whoever chose the new word was not thinking the issue through…

  24. Kristan Hoffman

    Gawd, most neighborhood associations are like that. The cranky old people in charge of our former association actually made my mom cry once, which is INTOLERABLE in my book. So I pretty much hate neighborhood associations on principle. Strangely the one I belong to now has been… fine. It seems to be populated by reasonable human beings. Which really means I’ve been abducted and taken to an alien planet. 😛
    Anyway, yeah, a while back a lot of places changed from speed “bumps” to speed “humps.” I think they were trying to get rid of the negative connotation of “bump” as it relates to cars, but clearly whoever chose the new word was not thinking the issue through…

  25. Kristan Hoffman

    Ah yes! Sandra’s right! Her research jogged my memory. The bump vs. hump is also a physical difference. The hump is more of a hill, the bump is more like a rubber version of a parking curb. Those were introduced at the same time as the name change.

  26. Kristan Hoffman

    Ah yes! Sandra’s right! Her research jogged my memory. The bump vs. hump is also a physical difference. The hump is more of a hill, the bump is more like a rubber version of a parking curb. Those were introduced at the same time as the name change.

  27. Kristan Hoffman

    Ah yes! Sandra’s right! Her research jogged my memory. The bump vs. hump is also a physical difference. The hump is more of a hill, the bump is more like a rubber version of a parking curb. Those were introduced at the same time as the name change.

  28. Katie

    hahah yes! you know some teenage kid is going to steal that sign. My brothers would have. 😉

  29. Katie

    hahah yes! you know some teenage kid is going to steal that sign. My brothers would have. 😉

  30. Katie

    hahah yes! you know some teenage kid is going to steal that sign. My brothers would have. 😉

  31. goodfather

    It’s always advisable to use caution during a speed hump. You don’t want to start a fire.
    I have a ‘Caution No Hump(ing)’ sign in my yard at the moment, but I’m looking forward to frantic speed humping pretty soon. 😀

  32. goodfather

    It’s always advisable to use caution during a speed hump. You don’t want to start a fire.
    I have a ‘Caution No Hump(ing)’ sign in my yard at the moment, but I’m looking forward to frantic speed humping pretty soon. 😀

  33. goodfather

    It’s always advisable to use caution during a speed hump. You don’t want to start a fire.
    I have a ‘Caution No Hump(ing)’ sign in my yard at the moment, but I’m looking forward to frantic speed humping pretty soon. 😀

  34. Christine

    I can account for humps in the South! Though they’re rare. A friend of mine used to live in a neighborhood with them, but they were major humps and didn’t really call for a reduction in speed.
    Quite honestly, I’d prefer humps — though probably with another name. What, I couldn’t say. But they’re much easier to navigate than speed bumps.

  35. Christine

    I can account for humps in the South! Though they’re rare. A friend of mine used to live in a neighborhood with them, but they were major humps and didn’t really call for a reduction in speed.
    Quite honestly, I’d prefer humps — though probably with another name. What, I couldn’t say. But they’re much easier to navigate than speed bumps.

  36. Christine

    I can account for humps in the South! Though they’re rare. A friend of mine used to live in a neighborhood with them, but they were major humps and didn’t really call for a reduction in speed.
    Quite honestly, I’d prefer humps — though probably with another name. What, I couldn’t say. But they’re much easier to navigate than speed bumps.

  37. mama llama

    I have seen “speed humps” (labelled as such) all over my MidAtlantic Major Metropolitan suburbian township and, although voicing my great desire for speed humps on my street, no such action has transpired…
    And I mean NO SUCH ACTION whatsoever.
    🙂
    Be well, 24.

  38. mama llama

    I have seen “speed humps” (labelled as such) all over my MidAtlantic Major Metropolitan suburbian township and, although voicing my great desire for speed humps on my street, no such action has transpired…
    And I mean NO SUCH ACTION whatsoever.
    🙂
    Be well, 24.

  39. mama llama

    I have seen “speed humps” (labelled as such) all over my MidAtlantic Major Metropolitan suburbian township and, although voicing my great desire for speed humps on my street, no such action has transpired…
    And I mean NO SUCH ACTION whatsoever.
    🙂
    Be well, 24.

  40. amyz5

    i always hold to the idea that you should NEVER speed through hump.
    I thought that was obvious.

  41. amyz5

    i always hold to the idea that you should NEVER speed through hump.
    I thought that was obvious.

  42. amyz5

    i always hold to the idea that you should NEVER speed through hump.
    I thought that was obvious.

  43. Smart Mouth Broad

    They changed our signs from bumps to humps too. Then they came back and made the bumps wider. Wide bumps are humps? Sounds like a Dr. Seuss book, doesn’t it?

  44. Smart Mouth Broad

    They changed our signs from bumps to humps too. Then they came back and made the bumps wider. Wide bumps are humps? Sounds like a Dr. Seuss book, doesn’t it?

  45. Smart Mouth Broad

    They changed our signs from bumps to humps too. Then they came back and made the bumps wider. Wide bumps are humps? Sounds like a Dr. Seuss book, doesn’t it?

  46. Captain Dumbass

    Speed humps! I’ve seen these signs when I’m crossing the border into the US. I always thought it was some weird Customs thing like having to show my birth certificate. I’m so embarrassed now.

  47. Captain Dumbass

    Speed humps! I’ve seen these signs when I’m crossing the border into the US. I always thought it was some weird Customs thing like having to show my birth certificate. I’m so embarrassed now.

  48. Captain Dumbass

    Speed humps! I’ve seen these signs when I’m crossing the border into the US. I always thought it was some weird Customs thing like having to show my birth certificate. I’m so embarrassed now.

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