I got the phone call every woman dreads. My mammogram came back abnormal and I need to see a doctor "within 24 hours." I won't lie, I'm scared shitless.
I have an appointment at 1:00 today (Tuesday). I've been told I will be meeting with a doctor and that it's probable they will take "more images." I'm trying not to panic, but I'm panicking anyway. I know, logically, that an abnormal mammogram does not necessarily mean breast cancer. My brain knows that.
My heart is racing, my stomach is in knots and my brain is clearly not communicating with the rest of my body.
I won't be taking a pain pill prior to going. I know I said I would if I needed to go back. But the fact of the matter is I have to be able to drive to my appointment and back home again afterwards. I also need to be clear-headed for my meeting with the doctor. I need to understand what he tells me.
The "abnormality" is on my "right side." My right "side" is also what has been affected by the car accident. However, my surgeries were all on my arm and shoulder, not on my chest or breast. In addition, I've had one other mammogram since the accident and it came back normal. I'm therefore concluding, with my vast medical knowledge, that the "abnormality" is not related to the car accident.
I'm concluding that, and I'm hoping I'm completely wrong.
I want them to tell me it's "only scar tissue" or something like that. I want them to tell me that now.
I'm in the process of being a very poor role model for you, my readers. I'm letting my emotions run wild even though my head keeps saying, "don't panic." For those of you who know me in real life, that won't be a surprise. I'm nothing, if not an emotional person.
In any case, there's nothing I can do now except wait. So I am.