Hellooooooo rambling post! Which I haven't written yet, but which will most assuredly ramble. Because why? Because The Torturer ripped my arm out of the socket yesterday at PT and left it there on the floor for the cleaning crew to find at a later date. No, yes he did! (Can a person say, "no, yes he did"????)
I should have written the post first, but damn and ouch – ! Having my arm ripped out of the socket sort of hurt like hell
No one's allowed to criticize my writing, spelling, or grammar today. Okey dokey then!
I swear on my grandpa's grave (sorry gramps!) that a year ago it was not uncommon for me to take a
zillion million of these same pain pills a day … and still sob my eyes out in horrible pain. Now taking one knocks me right on my ass. It's truly amazing that I never became addicted to them.
ANYWAY … so, blah, blah, blah the next six months are really, really, critical in my rehab. And that means I "have to suck it up" and deal with more pain (according to The Torturer anyway). He's doing new stuff to me. And it's important. And how I progress with it is "going to make all the difference" as to how much function I end up getting back in my arm.
I yelled, "Ouuuuuuuuuuch!" so loud at PT yesterday that a woman across the room freaked out. Then another patient turned to Freaking Out Lady and said, "Don't worry those two (meaning me and The Torturer) squabble like brother and sister all the time."
I wanted to flip her off. It took an amazing amount of restraint not to. The Torturer just looked at me with a raised eyebrow as if to ask, "Aren't you going to tell her to fuck off?"
I forget what I was going to write about today.
There's a chick hitting on The Torturer at PT but he's forbidden me from writing about it. So I won't. But it's very entertaining to watch and she wears almost no clothes when she comes in. But I'm not allowed to write about it so I won't. I have a nickname for her but I'm also prohibited from disclosing it.
Short Shorts. Yes, I call her Short Shorts because her ass hangs out of her too short shorts. But I can't tell you about it because he's forbidden me. And I always respect his wishes.
Oh, I just remembered! I was going to tell you about the lady in the Maserati at Taco Bell the other day. She was a bitch. There seem to be a lot of Maserati's around here lately. If any of you ever, ever, doubt any of the stories I tell you … just watch an episode or two of The Real Housewives of Orange County. No, really. It will give you a glimpse of what I deal with every day. You will realize that Joe the Bigamist is really not that abnormal for this area.
I'm glad I never married a bigamist.
I got an email from American Express yesterday. You know how I've given out AMEX gift cards before? Well, they just wanted to remind me how much they'd appreciate it if I linked to them every time I mention them. They said it would be great if my readers could click on a link and see all the other wonderful things they have to offer. So … okay … maybe they'll want to donate a gift card for me to give away? Then I'd be so happy to link to them.
Don't ya think?
As long as we are rambling about companies that are out there checking up on me ….
Do all of you know Starbucks is selling most of their stuff (not coffee drinks) at 20% off right now? AND for those of us with Gold Cards … there is an additional 10% taken off. If you need a teacher's gift, or have a coffee lover to buy for, you can't go wrong. Also, Costco is selling a package of five $20 cards ($100 value) for eighty bucks. I'm a Starbucks addict so I know these things. And yes, I'm taking advantage of their "deals" to knock out a few gifts on my list.
No, Starbucks did not ask me to mention them – I just thought I'd pass the info along since I think it makes for an awesome, relatively inexpensive, gift.
If you can afford to drive a Maserati, wouldn't you think you could at least make an effort to be nice to the minimum wage worker at Taco Bell? Instead of, you know, screaming about the fact your crunchy taco wasn't crunchy enough?
I went shopping yesterday. I finally got all my out of state gifts purchased. Now I just need to wrap them and get them mailed off. Maybe I'll get that done today after PT. If I don't get myself in trouble flipping off patients while I'm there.
No actual arms were ripped out of the socket for the writing of this post.