And Poof! I'm Gone!

You may continue to enter my Decadent Indulgence Contest through TONIGHT (Friday), at midnight Pacific time.  Prizes include a Breville Panini Press and a Decadent Indulgence sex toy.  They add up to a combined dollar value of over $250.  To enter, please click here.

I'm not here today.

You are.  Obviously, because you're reading this.  And I appear to be, but I'm not.  That's one of the amazing things about cyberspace.  Cyberspace holds magical powers allowing you to disappear, but appear to be visible.  Cool, isn't it?

A little known fact about me is I hate to fly.  I'm not afraid of flying … not at all.  I'm afraid of falling.  I'm scared of heights.  I used to fly all the time back in my career days. Then I was involved in a near miss on a flight into the Dallas airport.  Maybe someday I'll share the story.  Suffice it to say, ever since I've had a mild fear of flying.  I say mild because I don't freak out or anything, but I don't like the idea of being up in the air anymore.

My niece, Undomestic Diva, has my permission to inform you of my death and close out my blog for me if I die while flying over the next few days.  She's a real smart ass.  I don't know where she gets it from.  Genetics are funny that way. 

(By the way, she's afraid of flying herself.  She sent me panicked, inebriated, text messages from LAX one night just prior to departing on a flight of her own.  Like I said, genetics are a funny thing.) 

For Christmas this year, Briefcase surprised me with two airplane tickets.  One ticket was for me and the other was for my son, PR.  He's trying to get rid of both of us at the same time.  What do you think of that?

Actually, the tickets are to give us an opportunity to visit with my parents.  I grew up in Southern California, but when my parents retired they moved to a little farm in the northwest.  A little, very remote, farm.  There are no flights in and out of the closest town.  Going to see them involves multiple flights and a long car ride.  From the time I leave my house until the time I get to their home, PR and I will have traveled for 9+ hours … and that's if the flights are on time.  It makes for a long, long, day.

It also means, I don't get a chance to visit them often.  Generally, they come to California a couple times each year because they spent most of their lives here.  They have family here, and they have friends here.  

For many years after they retired, my parents raised peacocks on their farm.  Now they just tend to their orchard and large vegetable garden.  How remote is their farm?  Well, the Internet is only available by dial up where they live and even that can be a spotty connection. 

"Don't bother bringing your laptop," my mom told me. 

I started hyperventilating at the very thought of NO Internet!

Recently my mom tried to download the latest iTunes software and was told it would take EIGHTEEN HOURS to download by dial up.  She drove an hour into town to get a wireless connection and in less than five minutes her download was complete.  That's what life is like "out in the country."

About two weeks ago, my sister decided to join in on my fun.  She arrived two days ahead of me from Colorado.  It will be a partial family-reunion.  We will drink and bathe in the water supplied by my parent's well.  (A concept which is quite foreign to this Orange County girl!)  Actually, we'll probably shower in the well water and drink wine.  My parent's home is heated by a wood stove.  It's beautiful there in the spring and summer, but I've never seen it in the winter.  I've been told to expect grayness and rain.

I'd love to see some snow, but snow can be a problem where they live.  My parents home is at the top of a very steep, narrow, mountain.  When it snows they get stuck in their house until it melts.  The road down the mountain is too steep for snow plows and too long to shovel.  Snow means being snowed in.  (Or snowed out.)  Also, I don't own anything warmer than a sweatshirt.  Snow might be a problem.  

Snow might be … cold!

Stop laughing at me.

Here's hoping I make it TO their house.  First of all, the two planes I take to get there better not CRASH!  I think that's really the most important thing.  Second, if it snows before I get there I will be in a hotel for the entire weekend and won't even get to see my family.  I'm also hoping it doesn't snow much once I'm there so I can make it back home. Lastly, my two returning planes ALSO better not crash.  I've got a contest winner to announce next Tuesday! 

PS  I wrote this post late at night, and I was very tired.  I think if you look close enough you will probably find all sorts of grammatical errors and tense changes.  Consider all of them my special gift to you today.  Hugs!

21 Responses to “And Poof! I'm Gone!”

  1. Michelle

    Hope you have safe flights, and a fantastic fun-filled time of great memories for both you and PR.

  2. Jan

    You won’t crash – that TWA flight that landed in the Hudson assured that. It’s what Beloved and I call the “Garp Principle.”
    You are more than welcome to visit me – I have all the snow you could possibly want; almost a foot! And, as of this writing, it is -10 F here.
    I’d offer you my sheepskin-lined coat, but you’d have to wrestle it away from me. I’m cold.

  3. Jan

    I’m sorry – the cold must have frozen my brain cells. It was a US Airways flight. TWA is no longer in business.
    I need more coffee.
    Carry on.

  4. Alan

    Have a good ol time out in the country! We’ll be seeing ya next week sometime…and we’ll leave the light on for ya..YeeHaw!

  5. Helena

    It sounds like a great getaway place. Sometimes when I get fed up with all the people in the city I say that I’m going to move somewhere like that. I haven’t gone through with it yet. Maybe when I retire 🙂
    Have a safe journey!

  6. Donna in VA

    I have a feeling that we’re going to hear some stories about the “cold”. I left Southern CA for VA Beach in the winter of ’88 and it was 50 degrees out and I thought it was sub-human-like cold. Of course, now 50 is nothing, but when you’re used to 75 degrees year around. . . it’s an adjustment.
    I hope you have a fabulous visit! Take lots of pictures as I’m sure it’s beautiful there. And have a safe flight.
    Can’t wait till you get back and announce the winners!! Woohoo!

  7. Kelly

    I bet you’ll come back with some good stories! Have fun!

  8. Kelly

    And OMG – look how many comments you have on your contest!!

  9. Lo

    oh, how i love you 🙂 seriously tho!! i, too, am afraid of FALLING. no one in my entire life has ever understood that fear .they say, ‘are you afraid of heights?’ nah, just the falling part. ‘huh?’ dude. don’t you get it?? falling is SCARY. when i’m flying it takes everything in me to not think about how there’s like, 30,000 feet of AIR beneath the soles of my sneakers. eek. i hate it . despise it. but still do it cuz i love sarasota, florida.
    i hope you make it to your parents. their house (farm?) sounds equally great and scary. eek!!! i wish you luck with the snow- here in Illinois…. we have waaaaay too much. why’d i move from socal again? hope you have a fantabulous visit mah dear.

  10. Liz C

    Northwest? Hey, that’s where I am! Depending on where you’re going, you’re pretty safe, snow-wise. It’s just GRAY and OVERCAST with a STAGNANT AIR ALERT.
    (Just typing that makes me feel short of breath.)
    My best friend is flying into SeaTac today from the East Coast. If I see you at SeaTac this afternoon when I go to pick her up, I’ll be sure to wave and say ‘hi’.

  11. phhhst

    Thinking safe thoughts for you. Sounds like a wonderful family time. sometimes it is good to get away from the internet for awhile.

  12. Henry the dog

    There seems to be a lot of blogging about this flying business at the mo. My mum had a big fright herself when the engine went in the plane she was in on Tuesday and it had to do an emergency landing(I write about it in my recent post). Then there was that crash landing in the river in NY only yesterday – wow that pilot is a hero.

  13. beth

    nobody is really afraid of falling…it’s the sudden stop at the end that you’re afraid off…

  14. emmysuh

    I swear I commented on this on Friday afternoon — must not have finished the captcha — sometimes I get overzealous and assume I’m done…
    Boo. It was a good one too. I wonder what I said? Oh yes, flying– I’m scared of heights/falling too, but very seldom have trouble with flying. I guess since airplanes are so huge and seem like a house, it feels less likely that I’m actually up that high…
    …except when I’m falling asleep and then I’m all, AHH, there is nothing holding this GIANT METAL thing 8473857348973 feet up in the air!!!!
    But that’s cause I’m crazy.
    I’m sure you have a safe trip — have fun!

  15. MLS

    Well…I hope you made it o.k. and since the only crash I heard about was the one where everyone survived……I’m sure you’re o.k. Have fun and take a Xanax before you head back and you’ll be just fine.


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