Don't Flash the Painter

I'm sure you've noticed there are times in life when everything seems to be in sync.  Life flows smoothly, although never perfectly.  Then there are other times.  Times when you accidentally flash men things seem a little more chaotic.  Try as you might, things are just not clicking along in an optimum manner.

I seem to be running in "out of sync" mode lately.  I'm trying very hard to juggle a lot of balls and instead I'm sending them flying through the air all over the place.  (This might be the time to apologize to my Internet friends for not being around much lately!) 

It's easy enough for me to identify why I'm feeling out of control.  My life is out of balance. The problem is, I don't see any immediate way to get my shit together again. Here are the areas in my life causing me stress right now.

1.  Travel.  It might help if I stay in town for a week or two.  I enjoyed my trip to Santa Barbara, and also my trip to see family in Oregon.  I'd love to travel even more.  But … between Briefcase's work travel and my fun travel, we've barely seen each other for over a month. I can't afford to keep buying so many batteries.  If you think air travel is expensive, you should take a look at my monthly bill to keep my toys working.

2.  Teenagers.  I rarely write about my kids.  I have three teens.  Does anyone out there in cyberspace know what it means to have three teens?  It's payback for my own teen years.  Yesterday one of my sons informed me he was off to the library to study "physics" with his girlfriend.  Why was I so skeptical?  After all, physics/physiques what's the difference?  By the way, it was a very long study session.  He was gone for hours.

3.  My house.  I decided to "take my life back" this year, remember?  A huge part of that goal entails completing my half-ass house.  So why am I so stressed out?  My house has been halfway done ever since the car accident.  Now, as I try to knock out projects I realize just how much time all that house crap takes.  Getting estimates, deciding priorities, picking out colors, blah, blah, blah … it takes a hell of a lot of time.  Too bad I don't have a decorator to do all that for me.

My big goal for the upcoming months is to not flash the painter.  He's going to be in and out of my house for weeks to come.  

Does anyone want to place bets on whether or not the painter sees my boobs before he's done?  How about my other lady parts? 

4.  Physical Therapy/The Torturer.  PT is my full time job.  

I understand that statement because it's been beaten into my head repeatedly by the medical experts in my life.  My friends don't necessarily understand it, but I've been the one to hear every last detail about the necessity of my PT program from my doctor.  I want to get better.  I've got one of the top doctors in the country.  I try to listen to him and follow his advice even when I don't always want to hear what he has to tell me. 

Nonetheless, I'm burnt out and want to dedicate my time to other things.  I know I can't, yet.  I understand all the whys behind my doctor's decision.  All the same, PT is a major time suck.  I tried to take an additional day off when I got back from my trip this week.  I really needed a day to get caught up from all my travel.  

The Torturer lost it.  He was in rare form with his temper tantrum.  It was quite impressive and it got my ass into PT on a day when I really didn't have time to be there.

His reaction also impressed all his employees.  They were talking about it for days.  He tells me we've officially moved into the "tough love" stage now.  I guess that's a nice way to tell me he's going to kick my ass (more than usual) on a regular basis.  The lengthier, more brutal sessions are leaving me in teeth clenching pain.  It's hard to get motivated for shit like that, even when you know it's in your best interest.

5.  Bottled Water.  I'm dreading our next home delivery of bottled water.  I think maybe I'll plan to be away from home for the next few deliveries.  I can't get the image of the surprised delivery man's face out of my head.  I'm being ridiculous, I know.  It was only a nipple … or two.  And a pair of breasts.  I'm sure he's already completely forgotten the whole incident.

20 Responses to “Don't Flash the Painter”

  1. mama llama

    Upon reading your title, I thought, “The painter, too?!”
    I am CERTAIN you made the delivery man’s day.
    I hail from Oregon as well, and it is very hard to get back more than *maybe* once a year. Tickets aren’t that cheap (especially three…) and it’s really much too long of a drive unless we plan a big summer trip–which, after my big accident I am still a bit wary of. So I empathize there.
    You’ll make it in therapy. It won’t be easy, but you already know you want to get better. The mindset is, really, half the battle. And just think of the blogging material your PT sessions give you…!
    Happy Friday, 24. Be well.

  2. sometimessophia

    Ditto on feeling out of balance. It happens every January to me. And there’s a lot of sadness or SADDness, too. Maybe this state mind has to do with the tilting of the earth’s axis. You know, we’ve gotten used to leaning to the left, then the season’s change and we’re listing to the right. How’s that for a theory?

  3. Gina

    he has most definitely NOT forgotten about the boobie show!! hehe but don’t worry you totally made his day 🙂

  4. Donna in VA

    I totally ditto Gina – yeah, he hasn’t forgotten. I doubt he will anytime soon.
    Good luck on “getting it together”! When you figure it out, please share with us so maybe we can figure it out too.

  5. Sarah

    Yeah I am sure he was talking about it around the water cooler. Do water delivery men have water coolers you think??

  6. Kelly

    OF COURSE he forgot all about your nipples. I’m sure of it! I’m all stressed out lately too. I think it’s a syndrome that hits a lot of people in January.

  7. EricaB

    I’m thinking he is NEVER, EVER going to forget the incident. He went home that night and told everyone the story – and will continue to tell it for years to come….
    Of course, he is the only one who actually SAW it (them)…

  8. Kristan

    You know, I’m curious what Briefcase thinks about all this flashing. Does he laugh? Or get jealous/upset? Or something else?

  9. Twenty Four At Heart

    I’m married to the most easy going, non jealous man on earth. If I were deliberately flashing people it would be different. We live on a remote canyon. It’s quite unusual for anyone to show up here – especially unexpectedly. In both instances Briefcase has rolled his eyes and laughed.

  10. Heather

    It’s amazing to me what you get done with your arm. Especially with all your pt. I can’t function when I have a headache. I can’t imagine being in that kind of pain and taking on painting and house projects. Or travel. You are remarkable and you don’t even know it. Really, you are inspiring.

  11. Life with Kaishon

    It really seems like this time of year is so difficult for everyone. It is like there is a feeling of despair in the air. I will pray for you today. I can’t imagine doing physical therapy every day. I have to go just twice a week and it totally stresses me out.

  12. Di

    Oh nooooo… he won’t ever forget that flash… who are you kidding? LMAO

  13. Sandra

    The Torturer lost it? Where is Cyclopse when all this happens? Doesn’t he come to your defense?
    I’m afraid of when my girls become teenagers. I deserve major payback. My poor mother. Even now she doesn’t want to hear my confessions of things I did in my youth. She lays awake over it. I’m in so much trouble.

  14. Lori

    First of all, I am sure you made his day and gave him something to keep his day exciting.
    Secondly, I do know what it’s like to have 3 teenagers at once with having 5 children, ages 27, 26, 25, 21, and 19…I remember all too well those days when they were in “those” years and remember thinking “I am never going to make it.” but I did and you will too.
    Lastly, I am having a time of it myself…trying to live with things being out of sync and trying to get balance again. Not an easy thing to do. Hang in there my friend!

  15. Helena

    I’m sorry I’ve been away from the blogosphere for a week or so. Trying to catch up. Nipples??? Aaahhh, I see. 🙂
    Yeah, studying physics in the library can mean something else. It can also mean studying physics. I don’t have teenage kids but I don’t blame you for thinking physics/physiques… whichever are they studying.
    Have a nice weekend!

  16. MLS

    I’m sure it happens to him a lot since he does home delivery. I flash the pool guy quite often and now neither of us even flinch. Perks of their job……or maybe horrors, in my case.

  17. goodfather

    I SO understand about feeling out-of-sync. I can’t focus on anything for the life of me. I’m not even organized enough to write a list of how I’m not organized. 😀

  18. x

    Three teens? Suddenly, my life seems less stressful than it did before I read this one.

  19. Casey

    That’s hilarious that the guy just sat there and kept staring. I think your next water delivery should be free of charge. He got a free show…


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