Pardon My Nipple(s?)

So, I did it again.

Oh yes, I did.  I flashed an unsuspecting gentleman man and I think he liked it.

It really wasn't my fault.  (!)

I was just finishing up my morning shower when Briefcase called.  I ran to get the phone. Of course I was naked, because helloooo … showering, remember?

Briefcase was on two phones at one time.  He was at his office talking to a repairman, and trying to set up a date for the guy to come to our house.

"Can you be home next Tuesday at Whatever O'Clock?" Briefcase asked.

"My calendar is downstairs," I reminded him.

"Well, will you go look?" he asked impatiently. 

I glanced out my bedroom window to make sure there were no random landscapers out in the canyon behind my house.  No one was anywhere to be found.  I ran downstairs, stark naked, to my calendar in the kitchen.

As a reminder, the back of my house (which includes my kitchen) is pretty much all glass. No one is ever back there.  I stood there in all my nakedness examining next Tuesday on my calendar.  Then I ran back upstairs to report to Briefcase Tuesday looked just fine.

I hung up the phone, finished drying off, brushed out my wet hair, and began contemplating what to wear for the day.  Suddenly, I noticed my skin was looking unusually dry.  (Most likely from the cold weather when I was up north.)  I took my time rubbing lotion into every nook and cranny.  Well, not every nook and cranny.  

Never mind.

The point is, a little time passed as I was playing with Rabbit putting lotion on.

Shortly after, I had a brilliant flash of genius.  I could wear my dark brown pants, with my white t-shirt which has just a little edging of leopard around the collar.  If I wore that, I could also wear my cute leopard shoes.  (You know, the ones I showed you about a week ago?).  

There was only one problem.  In order to wear a white t-shirt, I needed (of course!) a nude colored bra.  

Wake up male readers!  Wake up!  Stop yawning, it's rude!

Ladies, you understand, right?  I couldn't wear a lacy black, or pink, or red, or blue, or chocolate brown bra under a white t-shirt.  (Yes, I really do own bras in every color imaginable.  I'm not sure why?)  In any case, my nude colored bra was downstairs in the laundry room where I had left it to dry after being washed.

I pulled on my chocolate brown pants and I ran (topless) down to get it.  I knew there was no one around because I had just been in front of all those windows perusing next Tuesday on my calendar.  

I headed downstairs again.  My tits bounced down each step.  This time, I was all soft and slippery from … all that lotion I put on.  

** Ahem **  

I got to the bottom of our stairs, made a right turn to go to the laundry room, grabbed my nude colored bra, and without a second thought headed back toward the stairs.

I should have put it on while I was in the laundry room.

Because, there he was.  Our friendly, local, bottled water company representative was standing by the window adjacent to our front door.  He was staring at me through the window and his mouth was formed in a perfect "0" of surprise.  He was not looking at my face.  

No, he definitely was not.

I stopped dead in my tracks in utter astonishment.

The first thought to run through my mind was, "I must have forgotten to put the bottles out on the driveway for him."

Half a second later, I tried to cover my boobs with my good arm.  His head immediately popped up.  (OK, stop it … I mean the head on his neck!)  He met my eyes for the first time.  I tried to act cool, calm, and collected.

I wanted to project an air of normalcy.  Topless?  No big deal.  

I gave him a questioning look.  He said loudly, so I could hear through the partially opened window, "Wasn't sure if you wanted one bottle or two today?"

"One will be fine," I answered as if I were standing there fully clothed.

He nodded in acknowledgment and turned to walk away.  Then he stopped and looked back over his shoulder one more time and he most certainly was not looking into my lovely brown eyes.

He walked away.

I glanced down at my tits; my hand was still haphazardly hiding them.

It was at that moment when I realized I was only partially covering my breasts. One soft, pink, nipple jutted out completely exposed.

I think, perhaps, we need a new bottled water service.

69 Responses to “Pardon My Nipple(s?)”

  1. mama llama

    I think you might just get a freebie for that one. Service. Courtesy. Call it what you may…
    I had a similar experience in Japan. My elderly landlord–he (as most in Japan, rural and urban, do) opens the door BEFORE knocking…only to see me just out of the shower. Lesson learned: I started locking my door; he started actually knocking first.
    sigh. International Relations at its best, right there.
    Enjoy that white t-shirt. We’re actually supposed to hit 40 degrees today. Where ARE my shorts?!
    Be well, 24!

  2. mama llama

    I think you might just get a freebie for that one. Service. Courtesy. Call it what you may…
    I had a similar experience in Japan. My elderly landlord–he (as most in Japan, rural and urban, do) opens the door BEFORE knocking…only to see me just out of the shower. Lesson learned: I started locking my door; he started actually knocking first.
    sigh. International Relations at its best, right there.
    Enjoy that white t-shirt. We’re actually supposed to hit 40 degrees today. Where ARE my shorts?!
    Be well, 24!

  3. mama llama

    I think you might just get a freebie for that one. Service. Courtesy. Call it what you may…
    I had a similar experience in Japan. My elderly landlord–he (as most in Japan, rural and urban, do) opens the door BEFORE knocking…only to see me just out of the shower. Lesson learned: I started locking my door; he started actually knocking first.
    sigh. International Relations at its best, right there.
    Enjoy that white t-shirt. We’re actually supposed to hit 40 degrees today. Where ARE my shorts?!
    Be well, 24!

  4. Di

    My Gawd…. you are turning into a real exhibitionist now aren’t you… heh heh….
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  5. Di

    My Gawd…. you are turning into a real exhibitionist now aren’t you… heh heh….
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  6. Di

    My Gawd…. you are turning into a real exhibitionist now aren’t you… heh heh….
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  7. Alan

    Well…I’m awake now! Thanks for the “wake me up”! Better than coffee, I tell ya…

  8. Alan

    Well…I’m awake now! Thanks for the “wake me up”! Better than coffee, I tell ya…

  9. Alan

    Well…I’m awake now! Thanks for the “wake me up”! Better than coffee, I tell ya…

  10. SSG

    hahaha bet the workmen fight over coming to your house… and do you get bottle water delivered at home?

  11. SSG

    hahaha bet the workmen fight over coming to your house… and do you get bottle water delivered at home?

  12. SSG

    hahaha bet the workmen fight over coming to your house… and do you get bottle water delivered at home?

  13. sometimessophia

    I’m sure you made his day… uh, week… whatever. No doubt, you’ll go down in the history of bottled water lore as the Queen of Jugs.

  14. sometimessophia

    I’m sure you made his day… uh, week… whatever. No doubt, you’ll go down in the history of bottled water lore as the Queen of Jugs.

  15. sometimessophia

    I’m sure you made his day… uh, week… whatever. No doubt, you’ll go down in the history of bottled water lore as the Queen of Jugs.

  16. Linda

    Girl, now yer just showin off! Standing there all nonchalant. hehehe! Have a great day!

  17. Linda

    Girl, now yer just showin off! Standing there all nonchalant. hehehe! Have a great day!

  18. Linda

    Girl, now yer just showin off! Standing there all nonchalant. hehehe! Have a great day!

  19. Donna in VA

    Yeah, I agree with SSG. . . contractors, servicemen, landscapers from near and far are all going to be clammering to “service” you soon. . . just so they too can catch a peek.
    Too funny.

  20. Donna in VA

    Yeah, I agree with SSG. . . contractors, servicemen, landscapers from near and far are all going to be clammering to “service” you soon. . . just so they too can catch a peek.
    Too funny.

  21. Donna in VA

    Yeah, I agree with SSG. . . contractors, servicemen, landscapers from near and far are all going to be clammering to “service” you soon. . . just so they too can catch a peek.
    Too funny.

  22. Kelly

    OMG you made me lose it. You are so damn funny. Ha ha ha ha! Made my day!

  23. Kelly

    OMG you made me lose it. You are so damn funny. Ha ha ha ha! Made my day!

  24. Kelly

    OMG you made me lose it. You are so damn funny. Ha ha ha ha! Made my day!

  25. Lo

    oh lordy be you are such a riot!!!!!!!!! i love that you tried to play it off. ‘yeah, so that’s my nipple, what of it? perv.’ heh. i would have DIED. you’re braver than i!!!!!

  26. Lo

    oh lordy be you are such a riot!!!!!!!!! i love that you tried to play it off. ‘yeah, so that’s my nipple, what of it? perv.’ heh. i would have DIED. you’re braver than i!!!!!

  27. Lo

    oh lordy be you are such a riot!!!!!!!!! i love that you tried to play it off. ‘yeah, so that’s my nipple, what of it? perv.’ heh. i would have DIED. you’re braver than i!!!!!

  28. Kristan

    LOL oh Twenty Four… You didn’t learn from last time!
    But eh, we walk around naked a lot too. No one’s ever in our backyard (which is shared space since we’re in a multi-unit condo) but I definitely still worry. At the same time, clearly I’m not worried enough to stop!
    I like to think that if I ever do get caught, I’ll be as cool and collected as you. 😉

  29. Kristan

    LOL oh Twenty Four… You didn’t learn from last time!
    But eh, we walk around naked a lot too. No one’s ever in our backyard (which is shared space since we’re in a multi-unit condo) but I definitely still worry. At the same time, clearly I’m not worried enough to stop!
    I like to think that if I ever do get caught, I’ll be as cool and collected as you. 😉

  30. Kristan

    LOL oh Twenty Four… You didn’t learn from last time!
    But eh, we walk around naked a lot too. No one’s ever in our backyard (which is shared space since we’re in a multi-unit condo) but I definitely still worry. At the same time, clearly I’m not worried enough to stop!
    I like to think that if I ever do get caught, I’ll be as cool and collected as you. 😉

  31. Hallie

    Screw a new service!! You just guaranteed you’ll get the best service EVER from your current guy!!
    Hallie

  32. Hallie

    Screw a new service!! You just guaranteed you’ll get the best service EVER from your current guy!!
    Hallie

  33. Hallie

    Screw a new service!! You just guaranteed you’ll get the best service EVER from your current guy!!
    Hallie

  34. Mariah

    I bet you’ll get however water bottles you want–free! I love when I accidently flash people and then pretend I did it on purpose. Makes me feel sexy

  35. Mariah

    I bet you’ll get however water bottles you want–free! I love when I accidently flash people and then pretend I did it on purpose. Makes me feel sexy

  36. Mariah

    I bet you’ll get however water bottles you want–free! I love when I accidently flash people and then pretend I did it on purpose. Makes me feel sexy

  37. Kate

    This is exactly why I read your blog first. Do you think you will get extra good servce from the water delivery guy from now on?

  38. Kate

    This is exactly why I read your blog first. Do you think you will get extra good servce from the water delivery guy from now on?

  39. Kate

    This is exactly why I read your blog first. Do you think you will get extra good servce from the water delivery guy from now on?

  40. Liz C

    I agree with the others – I think you just earned yourself a lifetime of really good service from the bottled water company.
    Also, I had to step away from my computer and go get a drink of water after reading the post. Whew! And I am not even gay! Have you thought about writing erotica?
    (You might want to check the next couple of issues of Playboy – maybe he’ll write a letter to the editor.)
    😉

  41. Liz C

    I agree with the others – I think you just earned yourself a lifetime of really good service from the bottled water company.
    Also, I had to step away from my computer and go get a drink of water after reading the post. Whew! And I am not even gay! Have you thought about writing erotica?
    (You might want to check the next couple of issues of Playboy – maybe he’ll write a letter to the editor.)
    😉

  42. Liz C

    I agree with the others – I think you just earned yourself a lifetime of really good service from the bottled water company.
    Also, I had to step away from my computer and go get a drink of water after reading the post. Whew! And I am not even gay! Have you thought about writing erotica?
    (You might want to check the next couple of issues of Playboy – maybe he’ll write a letter to the editor.)
    😉

  43. Heather

    Ha ha!
    It’s way too cold around here to be running around naked. I guess that’s a good thing.

  44. Heather

    Ha ha!
    It’s way too cold around here to be running around naked. I guess that’s a good thing.

  45. Heather

    Ha ha!
    It’s way too cold around here to be running around naked. I guess that’s a good thing.

  46. San Diego Momma

    You just described what I do every morning. The naked run to the laundry room, the avoiding windows, the accidental flashing to random landscapers and watermen.,
    And I am NOT just saying that to make you feel better.
    Unfortunately.

  47. San Diego Momma

    You just described what I do every morning. The naked run to the laundry room, the avoiding windows, the accidental flashing to random landscapers and watermen.,
    And I am NOT just saying that to make you feel better.
    Unfortunately.

  48. San Diego Momma

    You just described what I do every morning. The naked run to the laundry room, the avoiding windows, the accidental flashing to random landscapers and watermen.,
    And I am NOT just saying that to make you feel better.
    Unfortunately.

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