If you haven't had a chance to read Part I of this post, you can click here to do so. When we left off yesterday I was sitting in the examination room of a cosmetic dermatologist named Dr. Beautiful. Dr. Beautiful had asked me what I disliked most about my own face. When I hesitated prior to giving an answer, Dr. Beautiful informed me she had some ideas as to what I need. And so begins Part II of this story ….
"You have some little lines near your lips," Dr. Beautiful said.
I looked in the mirror. "Those are scars from the biopsies I needed after my melanoma," I explained.
"Well, they're very small but, luckily, there's something we can do about them," she smiled.
Hmmm … they're very, very, small. Why do anything about them? Are they even noticeable? If I didn't have a magnifying mirror in front of me, would I see them? (I do have a larger melanoma scar, but there's no hiding that one!)
Dr. Beautiful reached over and startled me by squeezing my upper eyelid. I nearly jumped out of my chair. "There's starting to be a little sag to your upper eyelid," she declared. She stretched my eyelid again and then let go. I think she stretched it into sagging. Is that possible? I looked at my eyelids. My eyelids which I had not been the least bit concerned about two minutes prior didn't look too bad, or did they?
"My eyelids are saggy?" I asked.
"Well, they're going to be. I can see where they aren't as firm as a twenty year olds."
Dear Gawd, am I supposed to be comparing my eyelids to a twenty year old woman's? I have never noticed my eyelids. I didn't notice them when I was 20 and I haven't noticed them in my forties. In fact, I've never noticed anyone's eyelids before.
I scrutinized my eyelids in the magnifying mirror.
"I can fix your eyelids," Dr. Beautiful announced with a smile.
"What would you do to my eyelids?" I asked concerned.
"Oh, it's no big deal. I'm used to cutting skin. I'd just snip them and tighten them right up. I did it to my own mother," she stated.
"You cut your own mother's eyelids off?" I asked incredulously.
"I've done just about everything to my mother," Dr. Beautiful said. "She loves it!"
I was trying to comprehend the idea of Dr. Beautiful's mother having her own daughter cut her eyelids off.
Before I had a chance to mentally digest this news, Dr. Beautiful began pointing to all the areas on my face where she could inject either botox or a "filler."
My mind raced to keep up with her. Lip lines, sagging eyelids, filler injected into wrinkles, botox to "lift" certain areas of my face – I was having trouble remembering it all.
"You're not a plastic surgeon?" I asked.
"No, I'm a dermatologist but I took one additional year of courses in cosmetic surgery," she informed me proudly.
In my mind I was trying to decide how qualified this made her to cut her own mother's eyelids off.
"We also have to fix your neck," she suddenly confided.
"My neck?" I queried.
My hands, involuntarily, went to my neck.
"I'll lipo it, it will only cost $3,000," she said. "Everyone has their neck lipo-sculpted these days," she informed me.
"They do?" I questioned.
Thoughts rushed thorough my head as my hands hovered protectively on my neck. I have noticed a lot of women with very tight, firm, necks in the OC. I figured they were all getting neck lifts or something. I'd never heard of "lipo-sculpting" a neck.
"It's no big deal," Dr. Beautiful assured me. "Everyone does it! I make five little tiny incisions and then you have a new neck."
Five little tiny incisions (and three thousand dollars) and I can have a new neck.
"Why not just have a face lift instead of all these other procedures?" I asked.
"You don't need a facelift," stated Dr. Beautiful. "You're not even close yet. And besides, these smaller procedures can help you postpone a facelift another ten years beyond someone who doesn't do them."
My mind considered the fact that Dr. Beautiful does not perform face lifts and therefore makes no money off of them. She is, however, making a fortune doing all these "smaller procedures" on all the OC women.
"We can make an appointment for you and do everything at once," she enthusiastically offerred. "I can even take care of your hands at the same time."
I was afraid to even ask.
"Yes! I can take some fat from somewhere else on your body. Maybe your bottom? And I'll just inject it right into your hands. You wouldn't believe what it does! Your hands will look ten years younger. It's fantastic!"
I was a hand model in my early twenties. It helped pay the bills. I have pretty hands. They are no longer twenty year old hands, but they're still fairly decent hands.
Did she say she could take some fat from my butt? Now there's an idea worth thinking about! Can't she just take it from my butt and throw it away? Maybe flush it? Or put it down the garbage disposal? Why give it to my hands?
"I really appreciate your time," I said apologetically. "But you know I just came in to buy some soap."
Dr. Beautiful looked deflated. "Well, think about what I said," she urged as I grabbed my purse and prepared to leave.
I walked out to the waiting area.
"Isn't she fantastic?" asked the receptionist.
"She's remarkable," I answered truthfully.
And that's when the receptionist started prattling on about all the procedures Dr. Beautiful has had done to herself.
In yesterday's post, All I Wanted Was Some Soap, Part I, I described Dr. Beautiful as follows:
She has long, flowing, blonde hair. Her eyelashes are out to here. Of course, she has perfect skin. Her teeth were startling white. She has high, enviable, cheekbones. Her lips are full and pouty. She's tall, lean, and has big perky boobs. Honestly, Dr. Beautiful must turn heads everywhere she goes.
Here's the list of cosmetic procedures Dr. Beautiful admits to having:
Hair extensions to create the blonde flowing hair, eyelash extensions to create the long noticeable eyelashes, botox in several areas of her face, restylane (a filler for wrinkles), collagen in her lips to make them plump, fake cheek bones (I don't know what the correct terminology is for those), facial "sculpting" to contour her face into a more striking appearance, fake boobs, porcelain veneers on her teeth, and a fake tan.
Most likely there's been a tummy tuck and liposuction too, but she's not going public on those.
I got in my car and went on about my day. I admit, however, later that night as I prepared for bed I found myself staring at my eyelids in the mirror. I wonder if they really are beginning to sag?
© Twenty Four At Heart