There are a few new Money Town patients at PT. I guess it's a good thing. If I'm going to be stuck there indefinitely, it's nice to be entertained. Which doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of my life there, because that's exactly what it feels like I'm doing.
In any case, the first person I'm going to tell you about is Mr. Whiner. (Also, I'm telling you about him first because I'm saving the best for last.) I ran into Mr. Whiner about a week ago, and dear Gawd, what a baby! The man's got sore feet. Yes, that's right he has sore feet. He hasn't had surgery, he doesn't need surgery but he's probably in his late fifties/early sixties and his feet are getting a little achy.
A couple Wednesdays ago it was particularly busy at PT. The Torturer runs a pretty big business and there are zillions of tables, and rooms, but every single working area was filled with patients when I arrived. I looked at The Torturer as if to say, "I'll just go home, m'kay?" In turn, The Torturer glared at me as if to say, "Don't even think about it!" Fairly quickly, however, a patient left and I was hooked up to an electrical stim unit and wrapped in a heating pad on a table next to Mr. Whiner.
Mr. Whiner complained about everything. I've never met the man before and I heard about his achy feet, about how his ice pack wasn't just right … could someone please adjust it by half an inch? And on and on he went. I would have gotten up and moved tables, but there were no free tables and besides, I was all plugged into equipment at that point. It turns out Mr. Whiner's biggest complaint was the fact it was so busy at PT, he hadn't received "quite as much TLC" as he likes on that particular visit. (TLC … his words, not mine!)
Did he have any idea, at all, who he was complaining to?
TLC at physical therapy?
It took every ounce of willpower to keep my mouth shut and just nod my head at his complaints. He announced quite loudly that on future visits he would make sure to schedule appointments only when it's not busy so he can get a longer foot massage.
The very rich? They expect to be catered to constantly. Yes, even when they have achy feet and they are sitting right next to a diabetic amputee and a woman who has had five surgeries in a two year span.
I refuse to be anywhere in the vicinity of Mr. Whiner again. Ever. He was insufferable.
Next on the list is Ms. Skanky. I don't know what her problem is. No, I'm serious, I really don't know what her problem is. Back? Neck? Whatever it is, I'm sure it will migrate to her pelvis any day now.
Ms. Skanky is maybe in her late thirties or early forties. It's hard to guess ages around here because everyone has so much cosmetic surgery. She's very thin and she's got huge enormous fake breasts which stick straight out at attention. She comes in with workout clothes on. She's thin, but she's not a total hard body. She, like many Money Town women, lives to be noticed.
Ms. Skanky wears tight, black, workout leggings to PT. She wears a skintight, black, push-up bra on her upper half. Then she adds to her look by wearing a see through, extremely low cut, pink top over the black ensemble. When you see her walk into the room, you pretty much just see overflowing cleavage bubbling out all over the place. She definitely gets noticed.
I was (more) appalled, however, when she sat up and straddled the PT table the other day for no reason whatsoever. Who does that? What woman would sit in a crowded room of men with her legs spread apart as far as possible as she straddles a four foot wide table? (Facing outward, pointy tits on full display for the very crowded room?) Can I just say … ewww!? So yeah, I've dubbed her Ms. Skanky.
Last on the list (for today) is Ms. Cougar. There are a lot of cougars who hang out at PT, but this one epitomizes all aspects of cougar-hood. Again, it's hard to pin an age on her because she's definitely had a lot of cosmetic surgery. The other day I met a woman I would have guessed to be 48 and she was 62. In this case, I'd say Ms. Cougar is in her late fifties, possibly even sixty, but if you saw her you'd probably guess she's 45.
Ms. Cougar is attractive and small. She has a nice figure which has definitely been nipped and tucked. She has some sort of problem with her hip and/or pelvis. (Of course she does!) Ms. Cougar likes The Torturer, a lot. Her interest is quite noticeable.
There's one thing about Ms. Cougar that takes the cake though. It's the noises she makes. I'm blushing just thinking about how best to describe it.
I'll just be blunt. (How unlike me!)
Ms. Cougar cries out as if she's sexually aroused when The Torturer is working on her. It's embarrassing to be anywhere in the vicinity. Honestly, someone could tape record her during a PT session and dub it over a porn flick and no one would know the difference.
"Oh, oh, ooooooooooooh!"
The other day Ms. Cougar and I were the last two remaining patients in the room. The Torturer was shuffling back and forth between the two of us. I was maybe five feet away from Ms. Cougar. I started doing some exercises independently while The Torturer finished off Ms. Cougar.
(Oops … did I just write that?)
All of a sudden Ms. Cougar started in with the sex cries. I couldn't help it, my head immediately spun around to see exactly what The Torturer was doing to her. As it turns out, not much. I swear, I think she was doing it to get his attention. Or something?
Help me out here, can you think of a reason?
I know what it's like to feel pain. Ms. Cougar doesn't make I'm in pain sounds, she makes I'm cumming any second now sounds.
** Ahem **
I immediately turned my face away and refused to look over again.
I was afraid if I made eye contact with The Torturer I would burst out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. I was also afraid he might be … *ahem* reacting to the noises and that was not anything I wanted to see either. Don't get me wrong, he was being very professional but he is, after all, a man, right? And if I thought Ms. Cougar sounded like an X-rated movie, then what would a man be thinking?
© Twenty Four At Heart