In Need of a Getaway

A few weeks ago something amazing happened.  Briefcase was gone on one of his long trips.  One night he called home and excitedly informed me his boss (the CEO of his company) had just given us an all expenses paid trip to St. Lucia.  Apparently his boss was having a fleeting moment of guilt for working Briefcase's ass off.  He decided to send us on a trip as a thank you.

Are you asking where the hell St. Lucia is?

Sc00839048

Can you see the map or is it too small?  St. Lucia is an island north of Venezuela near Barbados.

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His boss even gave us an "Adventure Guide" to look at ahead of time.  I can't wait to swim in the Caribbean Sea.

I've been to the Caribbean before.  I've been to Cancun and Aruba on two separate trips. Briefcase and I also honeymooned in Bermuda. Bermuda is in the Atlantic but hell, it's an island and it's sort of over in that same part of the world.  

Maybe not really, but all those islands are east of California so that puts them practically right next to each other.

Maybe geography is not one of my strengths?  (It's because I have no sense of direction whatsoever.  Who can keep track of where all the islands are anyway?  All we really need to know is they are in the ocean somewhere.)  

I've never done the whole Caribbean island hopping thing.  It's much easier to get to Hawaii from California so most of my island time has been in the Pacific.

I don't know much about St. Lucia but I did find a couple pictures online.

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It looks very pretty.  And warm.  And tropical.

St lucia

Insert Twenty Four At Heart right onto that beach.  It looks like heaven, doesn't it?

We're trying to lock down the exact dates to enjoy this unexpected gift.  (It's a one week trip.)  In fact, I'm still pinching myself in an effort to see if I dreamt the whole idea of someone giving us a free vacation.

We don't have family close by to watch the kids so I'm trying to figure out what to do with them while we're gone.  There's all sorts of other details I need to think about too.

For example, if we have a family member fly in to stay with the boys at our house where can I hide our stuff?

What stuff?

Well … *ahem* you know.  Stuff like the toys one of my readers sent me a few months back?  Because, you know damn well, if my in-laws are in our house they will find the toys and declare me a skank.  

Oh wait – they already have declared me a skank!

Oops.  I'm not allowed to write about my in-laws certain people things.

Also, only a few of my family members know about Twenty Four at Heart.  What happens if someone uses my laptop while I'm away and discovers my writing?  Or some of the humorous responses to my writing like this comment from Sarah yesterday:

I would so want a big dick if I was a man and a hairy chest too : )

I laughed at Sarah's comment.  In fact, I showed Sarah's comment to The Torturer and several friends at PT yesterday and we all laughed.  My in-laws?  Well, they wouldn't laugh.  It would just be another nail in my coffin.  They've already picked out my gravestone and it's engraved SKANKY BITCH.

There are a lot of details to think about when an unexpected trip is thrown at you.  Like, how the hell do I get in a bathing suit when I'm not at all ready?  How much weight can I lose if I live on nothing but water until we depart?  If I exercise every day will I get buns of steel and firm thighs in no time flat?  Should I get a standard or Brazilian bikini wax? And, how do I keep from getting a terrible sunburn when it's winter here and my skin is not even slightly tan yet?

Not to mention … Does anyone know what people wear in St. Lucia?

© Twenty Four At Heart

81 Responses to “In Need of a Getaway”

  1. Frogdancer

    St Lucia is obviously to Americans what Bali is to Australians.
    Have fun and enjoy the duty free shopping!

  2. Frogdancer

    St Lucia is obviously to Americans what Bali is to Australians.
    Have fun and enjoy the duty free shopping!

  3. Frogdancer

    St Lucia is obviously to Americans what Bali is to Australians.
    Have fun and enjoy the duty free shopping!

  4. Alan

    You wear shorts and bikini top. My wife & I won a trip there through her work maybe 11 years ago. When you go, go swimming with the stingrays! Awesome experience! Oh…and go to Hell also. Just to say you did…

  5. Alan

    You wear shorts and bikini top. My wife & I won a trip there through her work maybe 11 years ago. When you go, go swimming with the stingrays! Awesome experience! Oh…and go to Hell also. Just to say you did…

  6. Alan

    You wear shorts and bikini top. My wife & I won a trip there through her work maybe 11 years ago. When you go, go swimming with the stingrays! Awesome experience! Oh…and go to Hell also. Just to say you did…

  7. Beth

    You are so lucky!
    Just take the laptop and the “toys” with you!

  8. Beth

    You are so lucky!
    Just take the laptop and the “toys” with you!

  9. Beth

    You are so lucky!
    Just take the laptop and the “toys” with you!

  10. Linda

    Lock the laptop & toys in Briefcase’s briefcase! His parents will never look there!

  11. Linda

    Lock the laptop & toys in Briefcase’s briefcase! His parents will never look there!

  12. Linda

    Lock the laptop & toys in Briefcase’s briefcase! His parents will never look there!

  13. Jan

    As one skanky bitch to another, I agree with Beth – take the toys and the laptop with you!
    And don’t worry about how you look in a bathing suit – like I told Janie when she was bemoaning how SHE would look on the beach in a bathing suit in Hawaii, if *I* can go unashamedly on a beach in MY bathing suit and no one screams out “Thar she blows!!” I don’t think you, my much thinner friend, have anything to worry about.

  14. Jan

    As one skanky bitch to another, I agree with Beth – take the toys and the laptop with you!
    And don’t worry about how you look in a bathing suit – like I told Janie when she was bemoaning how SHE would look on the beach in a bathing suit in Hawaii, if *I* can go unashamedly on a beach in MY bathing suit and no one screams out “Thar she blows!!” I don’t think you, my much thinner friend, have anything to worry about.

  15. Jan

    As one skanky bitch to another, I agree with Beth – take the toys and the laptop with you!
    And don’t worry about how you look in a bathing suit – like I told Janie when she was bemoaning how SHE would look on the beach in a bathing suit in Hawaii, if *I* can go unashamedly on a beach in MY bathing suit and no one screams out “Thar she blows!!” I don’t think you, my much thinner friend, have anything to worry about.

  16. Donna in VA

    Color me jealous! It looks absolutely beautiful!
    The only thing I know about St Lucia is Paula Deen took her family there on vacation and filmed the whole thing for The Food Network. It looked like heaven on earth.
    Have fun!!!

  17. Donna in VA

    Color me jealous! It looks absolutely beautiful!
    The only thing I know about St Lucia is Paula Deen took her family there on vacation and filmed the whole thing for The Food Network. It looked like heaven on earth.
    Have fun!!!

  18. Donna in VA

    Color me jealous! It looks absolutely beautiful!
    The only thing I know about St Lucia is Paula Deen took her family there on vacation and filmed the whole thing for The Food Network. It looked like heaven on earth.
    Have fun!!!

  19. Kristan

    Oh I’ll trade your problems for mine! Lol.
    J/k, enjoy this. I hope y’all have a great time!

  20. Kristan

    Oh I’ll trade your problems for mine! Lol.
    J/k, enjoy this. I hope y’all have a great time!

  21. Kristan

    Oh I’ll trade your problems for mine! Lol.
    J/k, enjoy this. I hope y’all have a great time!

  22. Erin

    paula deen (foodnetwork celebrity) visited st. lucia last year…they did all sorts of things including that zip line through the forest canopy, parasailing, eating a feat on the beach and such. see if you can find that episode (it seems to run often enough; see someone else also mentioned this.
    this is my first post to your site. i am an ex-native californian who moved to virginia seven years ago and so miss the so cal lifestyle. we lived in chino hills (just up the 91 right next door to anaheim hills and such).
    you were asking about simple and practical window treatments in one of your posts prior. i am a die-hard fan of plantation shutters having done our home in california top to bottom in them and also two homes here in virginia. they are easy to clean,wipe with damp cloth and look fab. i will never go the curtain thing ever again. and, they never wear out 🙂
    have a great day…
    erin in virginia

  23. Erin

    paula deen (foodnetwork celebrity) visited st. lucia last year…they did all sorts of things including that zip line through the forest canopy, parasailing, eating a feat on the beach and such. see if you can find that episode (it seems to run often enough; see someone else also mentioned this.
    this is my first post to your site. i am an ex-native californian who moved to virginia seven years ago and so miss the so cal lifestyle. we lived in chino hills (just up the 91 right next door to anaheim hills and such).
    you were asking about simple and practical window treatments in one of your posts prior. i am a die-hard fan of plantation shutters having done our home in california top to bottom in them and also two homes here in virginia. they are easy to clean,wipe with damp cloth and look fab. i will never go the curtain thing ever again. and, they never wear out 🙂
    have a great day…
    erin in virginia

  24. Erin

    paula deen (foodnetwork celebrity) visited st. lucia last year…they did all sorts of things including that zip line through the forest canopy, parasailing, eating a feat on the beach and such. see if you can find that episode (it seems to run often enough; see someone else also mentioned this.
    this is my first post to your site. i am an ex-native californian who moved to virginia seven years ago and so miss the so cal lifestyle. we lived in chino hills (just up the 91 right next door to anaheim hills and such).
    you were asking about simple and practical window treatments in one of your posts prior. i am a die-hard fan of plantation shutters having done our home in california top to bottom in them and also two homes here in virginia. they are easy to clean,wipe with damp cloth and look fab. i will never go the curtain thing ever again. and, they never wear out 🙂
    have a great day…
    erin in virginia

  25. Pseudo

    Those photos look scrumptious. You will have a great time.
    Lock your laptop. Ot take it with you.

  26. Pseudo

    Those photos look scrumptious. You will have a great time.
    Lock your laptop. Ot take it with you.

  27. Pseudo

    Those photos look scrumptious. You will have a great time.
    Lock your laptop. Ot take it with you.

  28. Lo

    i apologize, but honey, they wear next to nothin over there. seriously. plan on a sexy one-piece. shop nordstroms. they have GORGEOUS black one pieces with support stuff mixed in!! also? who cares!! it’s st. lucia. who cares who sees you? briefcase loves you, and also knows what you look like, so who cares? i’m having a heart attack about goin to florida in may. same deal. also? tanning bed. it’s key. and brazilian. if you’re gonna do it, do it all the way. why screw around and be a pansy? 🙂

  29. Lo

    i apologize, but honey, they wear next to nothin over there. seriously. plan on a sexy one-piece. shop nordstroms. they have GORGEOUS black one pieces with support stuff mixed in!! also? who cares!! it’s st. lucia. who cares who sees you? briefcase loves you, and also knows what you look like, so who cares? i’m having a heart attack about goin to florida in may. same deal. also? tanning bed. it’s key. and brazilian. if you’re gonna do it, do it all the way. why screw around and be a pansy? 🙂

  30. Lo

    i apologize, but honey, they wear next to nothin over there. seriously. plan on a sexy one-piece. shop nordstroms. they have GORGEOUS black one pieces with support stuff mixed in!! also? who cares!! it’s st. lucia. who cares who sees you? briefcase loves you, and also knows what you look like, so who cares? i’m having a heart attack about goin to florida in may. same deal. also? tanning bed. it’s key. and brazilian. if you’re gonna do it, do it all the way. why screw around and be a pansy? 🙂

  31. Kelly

    Oh it looks sooo beautiful! What a great time you are going to have. Maybe you’d want to bring a few readers with you? No? Well, a girl’s gotta try, right?

  32. Kelly

    Oh it looks sooo beautiful! What a great time you are going to have. Maybe you’d want to bring a few readers with you? No? Well, a girl’s gotta try, right?

  33. Kelly

    Oh it looks sooo beautiful! What a great time you are going to have. Maybe you’d want to bring a few readers with you? No? Well, a girl’s gotta try, right?

  34. ballerinatoes

    1. Take the laptop with you. We will need updates.
    2. Lock the toys in the car that you leave at the airport.
    3. Standard wax.
    4. Hit the tanning bed every other day before you go.
    5. Take bathing suits, cover ups and flip flops. Maybe a cute sundress or two.
    6. I’m so jealous.

  35. ballerinatoes

    1. Take the laptop with you. We will need updates.
    2. Lock the toys in the car that you leave at the airport.
    3. Standard wax.
    4. Hit the tanning bed every other day before you go.
    5. Take bathing suits, cover ups and flip flops. Maybe a cute sundress or two.
    6. I’m so jealous.

  36. ballerinatoes

    1. Take the laptop with you. We will need updates.
    2. Lock the toys in the car that you leave at the airport.
    3. Standard wax.
    4. Hit the tanning bed every other day before you go.
    5. Take bathing suits, cover ups and flip flops. Maybe a cute sundress or two.
    6. I’m so jealous.

  37. Sandra

    Too fun! You lucky girl.
    I bring my toys w/me. But if I forget to take out the batteries inevitably it will turn on by itself and have my entire suitcase buzzing. haha

  38. Sandra

    Too fun! You lucky girl.
    I bring my toys w/me. But if I forget to take out the batteries inevitably it will turn on by itself and have my entire suitcase buzzing. haha

  39. Sandra

    Too fun! You lucky girl.
    I bring my toys w/me. But if I forget to take out the batteries inevitably it will turn on by itself and have my entire suitcase buzzing. haha

  40. emmysuh

    OK, it is not fair that you already live in Sunny California and now you are off to an exotic location. Take me with you? I’ll be your personal assistant.

  41. emmysuh

    OK, it is not fair that you already live in Sunny California and now you are off to an exotic location. Take me with you? I’ll be your personal assistant.

  42. emmysuh

    OK, it is not fair that you already live in Sunny California and now you are off to an exotic location. Take me with you? I’ll be your personal assistant.

  43. Christine

    Jealous! I wanted to go there for my honeymoon. We went to Ocho Rios, Jamaica instead. Can’t complain 😉
    Just think of the what to wear like this (it’s what I did, anyway) — anybody that’s going to see you there will never see you again. WHO CARES what you wear/look like in a swimsuit?
    Eh, who am I kidding, it didn’t work for me, either.
    As for the sunburn — SPF 50 and try going to a tanning salon. Or, you know, just SPF 50. Just make sure you don’t miss a spot. I tried putting it on my upper back/shoulders myself and ended up with a dirty neck and fingerprints that lasted…well, I think you can still see them.

  44. Christine

    Jealous! I wanted to go there for my honeymoon. We went to Ocho Rios, Jamaica instead. Can’t complain 😉
    Just think of the what to wear like this (it’s what I did, anyway) — anybody that’s going to see you there will never see you again. WHO CARES what you wear/look like in a swimsuit?
    Eh, who am I kidding, it didn’t work for me, either.
    As for the sunburn — SPF 50 and try going to a tanning salon. Or, you know, just SPF 50. Just make sure you don’t miss a spot. I tried putting it on my upper back/shoulders myself and ended up with a dirty neck and fingerprints that lasted…well, I think you can still see them.

  45. Christine

    Jealous! I wanted to go there for my honeymoon. We went to Ocho Rios, Jamaica instead. Can’t complain 😉
    Just think of the what to wear like this (it’s what I did, anyway) — anybody that’s going to see you there will never see you again. WHO CARES what you wear/look like in a swimsuit?
    Eh, who am I kidding, it didn’t work for me, either.
    As for the sunburn — SPF 50 and try going to a tanning salon. Or, you know, just SPF 50. Just make sure you don’t miss a spot. I tried putting it on my upper back/shoulders myself and ended up with a dirty neck and fingerprints that lasted…well, I think you can still see them.

  46. Stepping Thru

    You have quite a problem there. I think the idea of taking the laptop and putting the toys in the trunk are the best idea. Don’t worry about what to wear or how you look. Just go and have a wonderful and restful vacation. If something happens and you get to take a friend just give me a call. I can be packed in no time.

  47. Stepping Thru

    You have quite a problem there. I think the idea of taking the laptop and putting the toys in the trunk are the best idea. Don’t worry about what to wear or how you look. Just go and have a wonderful and restful vacation. If something happens and you get to take a friend just give me a call. I can be packed in no time.

  48. Stepping Thru

    You have quite a problem there. I think the idea of taking the laptop and putting the toys in the trunk are the best idea. Don’t worry about what to wear or how you look. Just go and have a wonderful and restful vacation. If something happens and you get to take a friend just give me a call. I can be packed in no time.

  49. jennster

    we went there on our honeymoon!!!! it’s a great place!!!! any questions, just ask me! 🙂

  50. jennster

    we went there on our honeymoon!!!! it’s a great place!!!! any questions, just ask me! 🙂

  51. jennster

    we went there on our honeymoon!!!! it’s a great place!!!! any questions, just ask me! 🙂

  52. Smart Mouth Broad

    Congrats on your vacation. I have no info on your destination but it looks like you’ll have a great time. I always turn to the tanning bed when in need of quick color.

  53. Smart Mouth Broad

    Congrats on your vacation. I have no info on your destination but it looks like you’ll have a great time. I always turn to the tanning bed when in need of quick color.

  54. Smart Mouth Broad

    Congrats on your vacation. I have no info on your destination but it looks like you’ll have a great time. I always turn to the tanning bed when in need of quick color.

  55. shaunna

    start hitting the booth to build up a base tan, take your laptop and toys with you, and have a blast. (and don’t stress about how you look in a bathing suit, obviously briefcase’s happy.)

  56. shaunna

    start hitting the booth to build up a base tan, take your laptop and toys with you, and have a blast. (and don’t stress about how you look in a bathing suit, obviously briefcase’s happy.)

  57. shaunna

    start hitting the booth to build up a base tan, take your laptop and toys with you, and have a blast. (and don’t stress about how you look in a bathing suit, obviously briefcase’s happy.)

  58. Kathy

    Shorts. Tshirts. Bathing suits. Flip-flops. Flowing dresses that don’t hurt the sunburn. ooooooooh I’m so jealous.

  59. Kathy

    Shorts. Tshirts. Bathing suits. Flip-flops. Flowing dresses that don’t hurt the sunburn. ooooooooh I’m so jealous.

  60. Kathy

    Shorts. Tshirts. Bathing suits. Flip-flops. Flowing dresses that don’t hurt the sunburn. ooooooooh I’m so jealous.

  61. Fragrant Liar

    Well, I like Ballerinatoes’ plan for you. That makes a lot of sense to me — that, and you taking a very special reader. Um, I really need a vacation, and I will go to my room and never bother you two lovebirds the whole trip. In fact, I insist that you don’t bother ME because I will most likely have picked up a cabana boy.

  62. Fragrant Liar

    Well, I like Ballerinatoes’ plan for you. That makes a lot of sense to me — that, and you taking a very special reader. Um, I really need a vacation, and I will go to my room and never bother you two lovebirds the whole trip. In fact, I insist that you don’t bother ME because I will most likely have picked up a cabana boy.

  63. Fragrant Liar

    Well, I like Ballerinatoes’ plan for you. That makes a lot of sense to me — that, and you taking a very special reader. Um, I really need a vacation, and I will go to my room and never bother you two lovebirds the whole trip. In fact, I insist that you don’t bother ME because I will most likely have picked up a cabana boy.

  64. Joanne

    you will be much closer to the equator, and the air is very clear=easier to burn. Dont worry about your bod, you will be a tourist(expected to look funny!) and you will be GONE in a few days, replaced by a pasty 55 yr old from Ohio, or maybe Quebec.
    I cant imagine you’d leave that poor bunny at home to starve for (ahem) attention

  65. Joanne

    you will be much closer to the equator, and the air is very clear=easier to burn. Dont worry about your bod, you will be a tourist(expected to look funny!) and you will be GONE in a few days, replaced by a pasty 55 yr old from Ohio, or maybe Quebec.
    I cant imagine you’d leave that poor bunny at home to starve for (ahem) attention

  66. Joanne

    you will be much closer to the equator, and the air is very clear=easier to burn. Dont worry about your bod, you will be a tourist(expected to look funny!) and you will be GONE in a few days, replaced by a pasty 55 yr old from Ohio, or maybe Quebec.
    I cant imagine you’d leave that poor bunny at home to starve for (ahem) attention

  67. Midlife Mama

    I’m still trying to visualize those toys in your suitcase going through the x-ray machine at the airport. And what if they don’t allow them on the plane and you have to take them out?? What would you do with them?? Now THAT would be an embarrassing moment. LOL

  68. Midlife Mama

    I’m still trying to visualize those toys in your suitcase going through the x-ray machine at the airport. And what if they don’t allow them on the plane and you have to take them out?? What would you do with them?? Now THAT would be an embarrassing moment. LOL

  69. Midlife Mama

    I’m still trying to visualize those toys in your suitcase going through the x-ray machine at the airport. And what if they don’t allow them on the plane and you have to take them out?? What would you do with them?? Now THAT would be an embarrassing moment. LOL

  70. Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Who needs a babysitter when you’ve got a television, internet access, and a refrigerator full of food? I say just lock ’em in. I mean…what could possibly go wrong?
    😉

  71. Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Who needs a babysitter when you’ve got a television, internet access, and a refrigerator full of food? I say just lock ’em in. I mean…what could possibly go wrong?
    😉

  72. Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Who needs a babysitter when you’ve got a television, internet access, and a refrigerator full of food? I say just lock ’em in. I mean…what could possibly go wrong?
    😉

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