I Was Going to be Funny Today

Today's post was going to be titled Schlong Thongs.

I'll get back to writing that post again soon.  Just thinking about the topic makes me laugh.  I like to keep myself amused, have you noticed?

I had a long, long, visit with my orthopedic surgeon yesterday.  Honestly, he's the only orthopedic surgeon on earth who will sit down and spend an hour or more with a patient.

Our visit began with him teasing me about some of the topics I write about.  Yes, embarrassingly enough, he reads Twenty Four At Heart.  I didn't tell him about 24, but he found the site while googling one day.  He started reading and realized his very own patient was the author.

My injuries/recovery/car accident story are pretty identifying I suppose.  Apparently he even knows I gave away a rabbit once upon a time.  Isn't that the sort of thing you want your health care professional discussing with you as he laughs heartily and wags his eyebrows at you?

<Blush>

In truth, I owe him my deepest gratitude for all eternity.  When he first saw me I was curled up in a ball in the most excruciating pain imaginable.  I'd been through three failed surgeries with a different doctor and I was in terrible, terrible, shape.  I will never forget him telling me I needed surgery (again) "as soon as possible."  I informed him there would be no more surgeries, and then he looked me in the eye and said, "Let me help you … please."

I did.  A few days later he operated on me and then he followed up a few weeks later with my 5th and final surgery.

It is now one year later, and nearly three years since my car accident. 

Yesterday he reminded me of just how bad things were a year ago.  He reminded me of how far I've come.  I have come a long way, he's right.  And then … for the first time, he informed me I will spend the remainder of my life with a permanent disability.  

Permanent disability.

He and The Torturer, apparently, have known this all along.  The realization they've known this for the last year both surprised and hurt me.  My surgeon told me they couldn't "allow" me to hear those words earlier because they knew my recovery would be difficult and it was critical to my progress that I believe I'd get better.  They've been in a conspiracy against me all this time.  By mutual agreement they've been withholding information.

You don't get better from a permanent disability.

A permanent disability is … permanent.  

Forever-like.

I mean, I knew I'd never be playing tennis again, but …?

Doc added, "You can't come back from what you've been through and expect your arm to ever work normally again."

Then why?  Why have I been trying so damn hard to make my arm work if they've known all along it never will?  

The Torturer tells me it's because my arm would be in much worse shape if I hadn't been working my ass off.

In case I was overwhelmed with the news of my permanent disability, Doc prescribed me some Xanax before I left.  I guess it's supposed to keep me calm until I come to terms with the words permanent disability.  

Permanent disability.  Permanent disability.  Permanent disability.

I don't want to come to terms with those words.  I don't want to ever hear those words again.  I don't want to take Xanax and pretend everything is wonderful either.

Doc also added to my gloom by ordering another MRI.  I don't remember how many MRIs I've had over the course of the last three years, but I do know it's been too many.

"Why?" I asked him.  "Why do an MRI?  I will not go through more surgery no matter what you find."

He looked at me thoughtfully.  I could see his wheels spinning.  I could feel him thinking back to a year ago when I was also quite adamant I wouldn't go through more surgeries.

Quietly, he wrote up the order for the test in spite of my protests.

I have family in town for the next several days so I've postponed the MRI until Monday evening.  I won't get the results back until the end of next week.

There was more bad news too.  Many of you know I've had a strong (!) personal goal to be done with PT by this summer.  Yeah, well, that ain't happening.  (Where did I put those Xanax pills?)  I won't bore you with all the medical mumbo jumbo about the horrible, disastrous things Doc forecasts for me if I stop PT.  It's enough for you to know he believes I'll be in excruciating pain if I stop.

Really?  Does he wants me to be a "lifer" at PT?  Does he expect me to go to PT forever to manage the pain caused by my permanent disability?

I suppose that brings good news for all of you … stories about Money Town women and The Torturer won't dry up anytime soon.  (As a side note, my doc got on quite a roll about Money Town women and how extreme they are. Money Town women have quite the reputation in Southern California!)

I left the doc's office and went straight to my standing appointment at PT.  There are times when The Torturer is kind and there are times when he's tough.  Yesterday he sat next to me and simply said, "Tell me."

And I did.

When I said permanent disability, The Torturer looked down, avoided my eyes, and nodded his head.

I protested and told him to stop nodding his head in agreement because he can't agree with that prognosis.  

He was just … quiet. 

Why wouldn't he tell me the doctor is wrong?  It's what he was supposed to do.  It's what I needed to hear him say.

© Twenty Four At Heart

117 Responses to “I Was Going to be Funny Today”

  1. Amy

    I felt much the same when they told me my hearing loss was permanent.
    Losing that hope is so incredibly changing.
    My heart goes out to you.

  2. Amy

    I felt much the same when they told me my hearing loss was permanent.
    Losing that hope is so incredibly changing.
    My heart goes out to you.

  3. Amy

    I felt much the same when they told me my hearing loss was permanent.
    Losing that hope is so incredibly changing.
    My heart goes out to you.

  4. Joanne

    I dont mean to wax philosophic, but honey, as we age, and “life happens” almost everyone must come to terms with , pain and some disability. Some more than others. Anyone reading this (not you,TF) who thinks they will grow old and not suffer, is heading for a big surprise.Suzanne, disability is not a death sentence, and please dear friend, do not let it rob you of your love of life.
    Just remember you have zip-lined with you “PD”, and there will be many more things you will do. Now go get started on writing the pilot episode of the new reality show that will put your name on the map. how ’bout a contest to name “PT in OC”
    stay strong, I love you,
    JJ

  5. Joanne

    I dont mean to wax philosophic, but honey, as we age, and “life happens” almost everyone must come to terms with , pain and some disability. Some more than others. Anyone reading this (not you,TF) who thinks they will grow old and not suffer, is heading for a big surprise.Suzanne, disability is not a death sentence, and please dear friend, do not let it rob you of your love of life.
    Just remember you have zip-lined with you “PD”, and there will be many more things you will do. Now go get started on writing the pilot episode of the new reality show that will put your name on the map. how ’bout a contest to name “PT in OC”
    stay strong, I love you,
    JJ

  6. Joanne

    I dont mean to wax philosophic, but honey, as we age, and “life happens” almost everyone must come to terms with , pain and some disability. Some more than others. Anyone reading this (not you,TF) who thinks they will grow old and not suffer, is heading for a big surprise.Suzanne, disability is not a death sentence, and please dear friend, do not let it rob you of your love of life.
    Just remember you have zip-lined with you “PD”, and there will be many more things you will do. Now go get started on writing the pilot episode of the new reality show that will put your name on the map. how ’bout a contest to name “PT in OC”
    stay strong, I love you,
    JJ

  7. stoneskin

    I HATE MRIs. I had loads in a short space of time once and they drove me mad. Mainly cos they take SO DAMN LONG!

  8. stoneskin

    I HATE MRIs. I had loads in a short space of time once and they drove me mad. Mainly cos they take SO DAMN LONG!

  9. stoneskin

    I HATE MRIs. I had loads in a short space of time once and they drove me mad. Mainly cos they take SO DAMN LONG!

  10. Jan

    At first I was going to rib you about your orthopedic surgeon – considering the topics you cover on this blog, I’d be suspicious of just what the hell he Googled to find you.
    Now I don’t know what to say, except that I wish I could be there with you and give you a hug and an opportunity to cry, or talk or someone to walk on the beach with.

  11. Jan

    At first I was going to rib you about your orthopedic surgeon – considering the topics you cover on this blog, I’d be suspicious of just what the hell he Googled to find you.
    Now I don’t know what to say, except that I wish I could be there with you and give you a hug and an opportunity to cry, or talk or someone to walk on the beach with.

  12. Jan

    At first I was going to rib you about your orthopedic surgeon – considering the topics you cover on this blog, I’d be suspicious of just what the hell he Googled to find you.
    Now I don’t know what to say, except that I wish I could be there with you and give you a hug and an opportunity to cry, or talk or someone to walk on the beach with.

  13. Kate

    Hearing those words may be crushing but eventually your mind will accept it and you can and will go on with life the way you have adapted to the injuries. You may need to be a lifer at PT but if it keeps your arm healthy and relatively pain free that is what you will do. You are a fighter Twenty Four.
    I am so sorry that you had such tough news coming back from such and awesome trip, but just think you went zip lining on that trip. Something I am sure your doctor and the Torturer would have said was impossible. You did it and you can do anything you set your mind too. Its okay to be sad and mad and grieve, but don’t let it take up so much time that you miss out on life. Sending you many hugs and healing prayers.
    Kate

  14. Kate

    Hearing those words may be crushing but eventually your mind will accept it and you can and will go on with life the way you have adapted to the injuries. You may need to be a lifer at PT but if it keeps your arm healthy and relatively pain free that is what you will do. You are a fighter Twenty Four.
    I am so sorry that you had such tough news coming back from such and awesome trip, but just think you went zip lining on that trip. Something I am sure your doctor and the Torturer would have said was impossible. You did it and you can do anything you set your mind too. Its okay to be sad and mad and grieve, but don’t let it take up so much time that you miss out on life. Sending you many hugs and healing prayers.
    Kate

  15. Kate

    Hearing those words may be crushing but eventually your mind will accept it and you can and will go on with life the way you have adapted to the injuries. You may need to be a lifer at PT but if it keeps your arm healthy and relatively pain free that is what you will do. You are a fighter Twenty Four.
    I am so sorry that you had such tough news coming back from such and awesome trip, but just think you went zip lining on that trip. Something I am sure your doctor and the Torturer would have said was impossible. You did it and you can do anything you set your mind too. Its okay to be sad and mad and grieve, but don’t let it take up so much time that you miss out on life. Sending you many hugs and healing prayers.
    Kate

  16. dogmother

    I am very, very sorry. Perhaps this was something you already knew at some level, but hearing the words is very different.

  17. dogmother

    I am very, very sorry. Perhaps this was something you already knew at some level, but hearing the words is very different.

  18. dogmother

    I am very, very sorry. Perhaps this was something you already knew at some level, but hearing the words is very different.

  19. Lori

    Yep, it really sucks. Facing the hard truths of our lives is never easy. Permanant diability are hard words to swallow. I think it’s because we still hold on to what was and have kept striving to get back to where we were before this “thing” happened to us. Facing the truth of never going back to what was, feels defeating. It’s these things that we have to grieve and let go of and yet at the same time, keep on fighting for something more. To a certain point we have to accept what has been given to us. This does not mean we have to accept defeat. This does not mean we settle for anything less. It just means different.
    I know for me, it’s been a continuing process of accepting what will always be here. I don’t have to like it and some days it pisses me off but ever so slowly I am finding my place.

  20. Lori

    Yep, it really sucks. Facing the hard truths of our lives is never easy. Permanant diability are hard words to swallow. I think it’s because we still hold on to what was and have kept striving to get back to where we were before this “thing” happened to us. Facing the truth of never going back to what was, feels defeating. It’s these things that we have to grieve and let go of and yet at the same time, keep on fighting for something more. To a certain point we have to accept what has been given to us. This does not mean we have to accept defeat. This does not mean we settle for anything less. It just means different.
    I know for me, it’s been a continuing process of accepting what will always be here. I don’t have to like it and some days it pisses me off but ever so slowly I am finding my place.

  21. Lori

    Yep, it really sucks. Facing the hard truths of our lives is never easy. Permanant diability are hard words to swallow. I think it’s because we still hold on to what was and have kept striving to get back to where we were before this “thing” happened to us. Facing the truth of never going back to what was, feels defeating. It’s these things that we have to grieve and let go of and yet at the same time, keep on fighting for something more. To a certain point we have to accept what has been given to us. This does not mean we have to accept defeat. This does not mean we settle for anything less. It just means different.
    I know for me, it’s been a continuing process of accepting what will always be here. I don’t have to like it and some days it pisses me off but ever so slowly I am finding my place.

  22. Cute~Ella

    I am sorry to hear this news. My heart breaks for you, but I also know that once the shock wears off a little, you’ll remember how far you’ve come (Zip Lining anyone?) what you’ve created because of this and you’ll find a new focus. Mental Hugs Suzanne. And enjoy the Xanax. Please? For me?

  23. Cute~Ella

    I am sorry to hear this news. My heart breaks for you, but I also know that once the shock wears off a little, you’ll remember how far you’ve come (Zip Lining anyone?) what you’ve created because of this and you’ll find a new focus. Mental Hugs Suzanne. And enjoy the Xanax. Please? For me?

  24. Cute~Ella

    I am sorry to hear this news. My heart breaks for you, but I also know that once the shock wears off a little, you’ll remember how far you’ve come (Zip Lining anyone?) what you’ve created because of this and you’ll find a new focus. Mental Hugs Suzanne. And enjoy the Xanax. Please? For me?

  25. Kristan

    Oh 24… [hug]
    I liked what Joanne had to say, though: “disability is not a death sentence, and please dear friend, do not let it rob you of your love of life.”

  26. Kristan

    Oh 24… [hug]
    I liked what Joanne had to say, though: “disability is not a death sentence, and please dear friend, do not let it rob you of your love of life.”

  27. Kristan

    Oh 24… [hug]
    I liked what Joanne had to say, though: “disability is not a death sentence, and please dear friend, do not let it rob you of your love of life.”

  28. Linda

    (((HUGS))) I can not imagine how you feel.
    That said, maybe I missed something. I know this PD is fresh news and I don’t want to sound cruel. Please know that I’m asking because I don’t understand.
    WHY can’t you play tennis with your left arm?
    I’m not you but when someone tells me I can’t do something OH! that pisses me off! “Oh yea? Watch me!” I have the scars to prove it:)

  29. Linda

    (((HUGS))) I can not imagine how you feel.
    That said, maybe I missed something. I know this PD is fresh news and I don’t want to sound cruel. Please know that I’m asking because I don’t understand.
    WHY can’t you play tennis with your left arm?
    I’m not you but when someone tells me I can’t do something OH! that pisses me off! “Oh yea? Watch me!” I have the scars to prove it:)

  30. Linda

    (((HUGS))) I can not imagine how you feel.
    That said, maybe I missed something. I know this PD is fresh news and I don’t want to sound cruel. Please know that I’m asking because I don’t understand.
    WHY can’t you play tennis with your left arm?
    I’m not you but when someone tells me I can’t do something OH! that pisses me off! “Oh yea? Watch me!” I have the scars to prove it:)

  31. Pam McAdams

    So where’s the whore in all of this? Is she permanently disabled? I don’t think so. Tell her to wipe your ass and get you off the pity potty. We all love and adore you. What more can you ask for? Hugs from afar!

  32. Pam McAdams

    So where’s the whore in all of this? Is she permanently disabled? I don’t think so. Tell her to wipe your ass and get you off the pity potty. We all love and adore you. What more can you ask for? Hugs from afar!

  33. Pam McAdams

    So where’s the whore in all of this? Is she permanently disabled? I don’t think so. Tell her to wipe your ass and get you off the pity potty. We all love and adore you. What more can you ask for? Hugs from afar!

  34. Kelly

    Oh how I wish I could give you a hug. You need to take a deep breath. You are the SAME person you were before they threw a label at you. You are TWENTY FOUR and you are loved just the way you are. It may take time to accept the label, but you are wonderful the way you are. You are writing because of that accident and your writing brings joy to thousands. Deep breath. One day at a time. You are still the same person!

  35. Kelly

    Oh how I wish I could give you a hug. You need to take a deep breath. You are the SAME person you were before they threw a label at you. You are TWENTY FOUR and you are loved just the way you are. It may take time to accept the label, but you are wonderful the way you are. You are writing because of that accident and your writing brings joy to thousands. Deep breath. One day at a time. You are still the same person!

  36. Kelly

    Oh how I wish I could give you a hug. You need to take a deep breath. You are the SAME person you were before they threw a label at you. You are TWENTY FOUR and you are loved just the way you are. It may take time to accept the label, but you are wonderful the way you are. You are writing because of that accident and your writing brings joy to thousands. Deep breath. One day at a time. You are still the same person!

  37. Kim

    🙁
    I can’t begin to imagine how you must feel about all of this. What crappy, crappy news. I’d certainly trade away the extremely hysterical stories of the ladies of Money Town so that you didn’t have to get this news.
    ((hugs))

  38. Kim

    🙁
    I can’t begin to imagine how you must feel about all of this. What crappy, crappy news. I’d certainly trade away the extremely hysterical stories of the ladies of Money Town so that you didn’t have to get this news.
    ((hugs))

  39. Kim

    🙁
    I can’t begin to imagine how you must feel about all of this. What crappy, crappy news. I’d certainly trade away the extremely hysterical stories of the ladies of Money Town so that you didn’t have to get this news.
    ((hugs))

  40. Anali

    I’ve been catching up with your old posts, lmao, enjoying the pictures. This post is so different. I know you must be hurting. But you have such a strong spirit and sense of humor. It permeates your blog. I know you’ll get back to you and that label is NOT who you are.

  41. Anali

    I’ve been catching up with your old posts, lmao, enjoying the pictures. This post is so different. I know you must be hurting. But you have such a strong spirit and sense of humor. It permeates your blog. I know you’ll get back to you and that label is NOT who you are.

  42. Anali

    I’ve been catching up with your old posts, lmao, enjoying the pictures. This post is so different. I know you must be hurting. But you have such a strong spirit and sense of humor. It permeates your blog. I know you’ll get back to you and that label is NOT who you are.

  43. Joan

    I have nothing to say that Joanne hasn’t already said better than I ever could. Just wanted to stand up and be counted as one of your crew!

  44. Joan

    I have nothing to say that Joanne hasn’t already said better than I ever could. Just wanted to stand up and be counted as one of your crew!

  45. Joan

    I have nothing to say that Joanne hasn’t already said better than I ever could. Just wanted to stand up and be counted as one of your crew!

  46. Tricia

    I don’t even know what to say. I’m just sitting with this vision of you sitting next to the Torturer and I want to hug you. I’m sorry this hurts so much. I just keep thinking about you pulling yourself across that rope with one hand. It takes quite a bit of courage and strength to have made that dream come true.

  47. Tricia

    I don’t even know what to say. I’m just sitting with this vision of you sitting next to the Torturer and I want to hug you. I’m sorry this hurts so much. I just keep thinking about you pulling yourself across that rope with one hand. It takes quite a bit of courage and strength to have made that dream come true.

  48. Tricia

    I don’t even know what to say. I’m just sitting with this vision of you sitting next to the Torturer and I want to hug you. I’m sorry this hurts so much. I just keep thinking about you pulling yourself across that rope with one hand. It takes quite a bit of courage and strength to have made that dream come true.

  49. Deb

    I think maybe, deep down, on some level this isn’t surprising news. But hearing the words out loud – is totally a different story. Hope is a powerful thing and it’s just been taken away. My heart aches for you 24.

  50. Deb

    I think maybe, deep down, on some level this isn’t surprising news. But hearing the words out loud – is totally a different story. Hope is a powerful thing and it’s just been taken away. My heart aches for you 24.

  51. Deb

    I think maybe, deep down, on some level this isn’t surprising news. But hearing the words out loud – is totally a different story. Hope is a powerful thing and it’s just been taken away. My heart aches for you 24.

  52. Christine

    I feel like we’ve suddenly switched places with each other. I’m so sorry that’s the news you’ve gotten. I see the gut reaction to it all in this post, but you know I also see the long-term reaction and outcome. From the first time I read your blog I could tell how strong you are, and I know you’ll make it through this. I don’t think that or your ability to find humor in things will ever change. You are the same with or without the prospect of something lasting longer than you had thought and hoped for. But think — you freaking went zip lining! I can’t wait for the next crazy thing you do that you thought you wouldn’t be able to so I can point and laugh and say I told you so and squeal right along with you.
    (((HUGS)))

  53. Christine

    I feel like we’ve suddenly switched places with each other. I’m so sorry that’s the news you’ve gotten. I see the gut reaction to it all in this post, but you know I also see the long-term reaction and outcome. From the first time I read your blog I could tell how strong you are, and I know you’ll make it through this. I don’t think that or your ability to find humor in things will ever change. You are the same with or without the prospect of something lasting longer than you had thought and hoped for. But think — you freaking went zip lining! I can’t wait for the next crazy thing you do that you thought you wouldn’t be able to so I can point and laugh and say I told you so and squeal right along with you.
    (((HUGS)))

  54. Christine

    I feel like we’ve suddenly switched places with each other. I’m so sorry that’s the news you’ve gotten. I see the gut reaction to it all in this post, but you know I also see the long-term reaction and outcome. From the first time I read your blog I could tell how strong you are, and I know you’ll make it through this. I don’t think that or your ability to find humor in things will ever change. You are the same with or without the prospect of something lasting longer than you had thought and hoped for. But think — you freaking went zip lining! I can’t wait for the next crazy thing you do that you thought you wouldn’t be able to so I can point and laugh and say I told you so and squeal right along with you.
    (((HUGS)))

  55. lo

    oh, hun…. my eyes are tearing as i type this. i could go into a whole other direction but really? fuck it. it’s unfair. it’s wrong. no one as awesome as you should have to deal with this shit. forever. sometimes, life fucking sucks. the end. i am so sorry suzanne.

  56. lo

    oh, hun…. my eyes are tearing as i type this. i could go into a whole other direction but really? fuck it. it’s unfair. it’s wrong. no one as awesome as you should have to deal with this shit. forever. sometimes, life fucking sucks. the end. i am so sorry suzanne.

  57. lo

    oh, hun…. my eyes are tearing as i type this. i could go into a whole other direction but really? fuck it. it’s unfair. it’s wrong. no one as awesome as you should have to deal with this shit. forever. sometimes, life fucking sucks. the end. i am so sorry suzanne.

  58. Liz C

    I think knowing that they knew this for awhile would sting the most. Time will pass and life will go on, but right now, it’s gotta hurt.

  59. Liz C

    I think knowing that they knew this for awhile would sting the most. Time will pass and life will go on, but right now, it’s gotta hurt.

  60. Liz C

    I think knowing that they knew this for awhile would sting the most. Time will pass and life will go on, but right now, it’s gotta hurt.

  61. Margie

    24, I don’t know of anything to say that hasn’t already been said by the others. Just wanted to leave a comment to let you know I I’m sorry. Will PT for pain management be as grueling as it had been when you “thought” it was for recovery?

  62. Margie

    24, I don’t know of anything to say that hasn’t already been said by the others. Just wanted to leave a comment to let you know I I’m sorry. Will PT for pain management be as grueling as it had been when you “thought” it was for recovery?

  63. Margie

    24, I don’t know of anything to say that hasn’t already been said by the others. Just wanted to leave a comment to let you know I I’m sorry. Will PT for pain management be as grueling as it had been when you “thought” it was for recovery?

  64. Midlife Slices

    People prove doctors wrong every day. You’ll have YOUR day. I just know it!
    Have faith and don’t give up.
    HUGS

  65. Midlife Slices

    People prove doctors wrong every day. You’ll have YOUR day. I just know it!
    Have faith and don’t give up.
    HUGS

  66. Midlife Slices

    People prove doctors wrong every day. You’ll have YOUR day. I just know it!
    Have faith and don’t give up.
    HUGS

  67. wunderwoman

    I’m am sorry you ever had to hear that diagnosis. But life is not over just yet, remember something about a zip line. So, life will be different than you expected, but it’s still good. (((hugs)))

  68. wunderwoman

    I’m am sorry you ever had to hear that diagnosis. But life is not over just yet, remember something about a zip line. So, life will be different than you expected, but it’s still good. (((hugs)))

  69. wunderwoman

    I’m am sorry you ever had to hear that diagnosis. But life is not over just yet, remember something about a zip line. So, life will be different than you expected, but it’s still good. (((hugs)))

  70. Judi

    I don’t know what to say other than to echo everyone else’s sentiments and add my {{{{hugs}}}}.
    It’s very hard to adjust to a new reality, but I wouldn’t say it’s one without hope. Your goals may change, but you’ll still have them and will still accomplish great things, they’ll just be different from what you imagined a few years ago.

  71. Judi

    I don’t know what to say other than to echo everyone else’s sentiments and add my {{{{hugs}}}}.
    It’s very hard to adjust to a new reality, but I wouldn’t say it’s one without hope. Your goals may change, but you’ll still have them and will still accomplish great things, they’ll just be different from what you imagined a few years ago.

  72. Judi

    I don’t know what to say other than to echo everyone else’s sentiments and add my {{{{hugs}}}}.
    It’s very hard to adjust to a new reality, but I wouldn’t say it’s one without hope. Your goals may change, but you’ll still have them and will still accomplish great things, they’ll just be different from what you imagined a few years ago.

  73. Kari-Mel

    Just remember that zip line and know that when you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

  74. Kari-Mel

    Just remember that zip line and know that when you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

  75. Kari-Mel

    Just remember that zip line and know that when you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

  76. PAPA

    Dang’t, sorry about your news…What inspires me most is your buoyant spirit. You are definitely a glass “half-full.”

  77. PAPA

    Dang’t, sorry about your news…What inspires me most is your buoyant spirit. You are definitely a glass “half-full.”

  78. PAPA

    Dang’t, sorry about your news…What inspires me most is your buoyant spirit. You are definitely a glass “half-full.”

  79. Shay in Utah

    I’ve been reading for a short while, but this is the first time I’ve commented…
    I just wanted to extend a HUGE virtual (((hug))) to you. I can’t imagine I know what it’s like to go through what you have; try to focus on the good — how much progress you’ve made.
    Your zip lining post brought tears of joy for you to my eyes. Even with the challenges you face, you still did it!

  80. Shay in Utah

    I’ve been reading for a short while, but this is the first time I’ve commented…
    I just wanted to extend a HUGE virtual (((hug))) to you. I can’t imagine I know what it’s like to go through what you have; try to focus on the good — how much progress you’ve made.
    Your zip lining post brought tears of joy for you to my eyes. Even with the challenges you face, you still did it!

  81. Shay in Utah

    I’ve been reading for a short while, but this is the first time I’ve commented…
    I just wanted to extend a HUGE virtual (((hug))) to you. I can’t imagine I know what it’s like to go through what you have; try to focus on the good — how much progress you’ve made.
    Your zip lining post brought tears of joy for you to my eyes. Even with the challenges you face, you still did it!

  82. Duchess

    I am very sorry to hear this – but I think you partly have known it for a long time too, even though you’ve kept fighting. I’ve always been so impressed by your strength… Meanwhile, when’s the next rabbit give away?

  83. Duchess

    I am very sorry to hear this – but I think you partly have known it for a long time too, even though you’ve kept fighting. I’ve always been so impressed by your strength… Meanwhile, when’s the next rabbit give away?

  84. Duchess

    I am very sorry to hear this – but I think you partly have known it for a long time too, even though you’ve kept fighting. I’ve always been so impressed by your strength… Meanwhile, when’s the next rabbit give away?

  85. Jenn in Tenn

    Oh 24, (((HUGS))) from this stranger in Tennessee. Read and re-read those words from Joanne, I couldn’t have said it better! And, just keep fighting girl, doctors are proven wrong EVERY DAY! You and your family are in my thoughts.

  86. Jenn in Tenn

    Oh 24, (((HUGS))) from this stranger in Tennessee. Read and re-read those words from Joanne, I couldn’t have said it better! And, just keep fighting girl, doctors are proven wrong EVERY DAY! You and your family are in my thoughts.

  87. Jenn in Tenn

    Oh 24, (((HUGS))) from this stranger in Tennessee. Read and re-read those words from Joanne, I couldn’t have said it better! And, just keep fighting girl, doctors are proven wrong EVERY DAY! You and your family are in my thoughts.

  88. Fragrant Liar

    Sometimes people we care about and who care about us can do us no greater favor than offer up the truth. I am saddened by the news you’ve received, but I do think once you absorb it (or prove them wrong), you will be right back in the swing of things, living your life to the fullest, because in the end that is all each of us has. Zip!

  89. Fragrant Liar

    Sometimes people we care about and who care about us can do us no greater favor than offer up the truth. I am saddened by the news you’ve received, but I do think once you absorb it (or prove them wrong), you will be right back in the swing of things, living your life to the fullest, because in the end that is all each of us has. Zip!

  90. Fragrant Liar

    Sometimes people we care about and who care about us can do us no greater favor than offer up the truth. I am saddened by the news you’ve received, but I do think once you absorb it (or prove them wrong), you will be right back in the swing of things, living your life to the fullest, because in the end that is all each of us has. Zip!

  91. Elaina Avalos

    I’m so sorry. I really am. I saw your Tweets but hadn’t had time until now to read this. I’m no expert in Twenty Four but I’m pretty damn sure you’re the kind that’s a fighter. And well, I’m sure you’ll keep fighting.

  92. Elaina Avalos

    I’m so sorry. I really am. I saw your Tweets but hadn’t had time until now to read this. I’m no expert in Twenty Four but I’m pretty damn sure you’re the kind that’s a fighter. And well, I’m sure you’ll keep fighting.

  93. Elaina Avalos

    I’m so sorry. I really am. I saw your Tweets but hadn’t had time until now to read this. I’m no expert in Twenty Four but I’m pretty damn sure you’re the kind that’s a fighter. And well, I’m sure you’ll keep fighting.

  94. LPC

    I would just never use the word disable to describe the person that you show yourself to be.

  95. LPC

    I would just never use the word disable to describe the person that you show yourself to be.

  96. LPC

    I would just never use the word disable to describe the person that you show yourself to be.

  97. Pseudo

    Biggest hug ever. Lots of deep breaths. Love to you and anything else you need form Hawaii, just say the word.

  98. Pseudo

    Biggest hug ever. Lots of deep breaths. Love to you and anything else you need form Hawaii, just say the word.

  99. Pseudo

    Biggest hug ever. Lots of deep breaths. Love to you and anything else you need form Hawaii, just say the word.

  100. emmysuh

    Ugh. Sorry I’m so late on commenting on this entry. We all still love you, regardless what the hell your arm can do. Your arm is beautiful, like you!

  101. emmysuh

    Ugh. Sorry I’m so late on commenting on this entry. We all still love you, regardless what the hell your arm can do. Your arm is beautiful, like you!

  102. emmysuh

    Ugh. Sorry I’m so late on commenting on this entry. We all still love you, regardless what the hell your arm can do. Your arm is beautiful, like you!

  103. Mad Woman

    Aww shit man. That’s really crappy. I know I’m late to the show on this one but I wanted to give you the biggest hugs ever. Like someone else said, I can imagine that the fact that they kept it from you for so long …. but that sting will fade in time.
    You (appear to me) to be a strong, capable woman….strong in mind and I’m sure in time you will be in body.
    We’re all here for you.

  104. Mad Woman

    Aww shit man. That’s really crappy. I know I’m late to the show on this one but I wanted to give you the biggest hugs ever. Like someone else said, I can imagine that the fact that they kept it from you for so long …. but that sting will fade in time.
    You (appear to me) to be a strong, capable woman….strong in mind and I’m sure in time you will be in body.
    We’re all here for you.

  105. Mad Woman

    Aww shit man. That’s really crappy. I know I’m late to the show on this one but I wanted to give you the biggest hugs ever. Like someone else said, I can imagine that the fact that they kept it from you for so long …. but that sting will fade in time.
    You (appear to me) to be a strong, capable woman….strong in mind and I’m sure in time you will be in body.
    We’re all here for you.

  106. BeautifulWreck

    I’m very sorry.
    I would be pissed and grateful all at the same time with the good doc.
    Stay strong – and I agree with another commenter, reading your blog – I don’t think of you as disabled either. More like ass kicking capable.

  107. BeautifulWreck

    I’m very sorry.
    I would be pissed and grateful all at the same time with the good doc.
    Stay strong – and I agree with another commenter, reading your blog – I don’t think of you as disabled either. More like ass kicking capable.

  108. BeautifulWreck

    I’m very sorry.
    I would be pissed and grateful all at the same time with the good doc.
    Stay strong – and I agree with another commenter, reading your blog – I don’t think of you as disabled either. More like ass kicking capable.

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