On the Home Front – Marital Peeves

Who works harder in your house?  You?  Or you?  Because let's face it, without question you work the hardest.

Briefcase and I are having a little competition  war  spat right now, can you tell?

After several centuries of marriage, I've come to the conclusion Briefcase has a piece of cake life while I'm no more than an unappreciated slave or, perhaps, taken for granted live-in help.  I picture myself kind of like Cinderella without the pumpkin or glass slipper. 

Are your eyes welling up with sympathetic tears yet?  Can you hear the violins playing in the background?  

In any case, I toil away at tedious chores hour after hour.  My life is all about striving for a slight reduction in the overwhelming pile of perpetual laundry which grows out of our laundry room floor.  Not to mention all the other crap I do to the best of my one-armed ability.  And trust me, I do a lot of other crap.

In fact, just last week I had a garage full of crap, remember?

Briefcase was gone for that Home Disaster. I guess in his mind, it never happened.

Briefcase is confident I'm a slacker.  

S-L-A-C-K-E-R! 

I don't know what he thinks I do all day, but it must have something to do with bon bons and big hunky men.  (In reality, I'm dealing with lots of shit all day long!)  

It's also his perception he's at death's door from working so hard.  I concede the man works hard at his career Monday through Friday.  

You know, from 8 a.m. until maybe 4 or 5 or 6 p.m. 

(I can hear him swearing right now, can't you?)

The problem is, I don't get the evenings or weekends off … why should he?  

Are you a honeymooner?  If you are you should print out this post and re-read it when you've been married for centuries.  It will mean so much more to you then.

Briefcase thinks he works the hardest because he's "got to make a presentation to the Board of Directors next week!"

OK, right there he loses and I win.

Board of Directors, Lord of Protectors … eh, who cares?

He told me this after staying in his robe until noon on Saturday.  He was reading the paper, drinking coffee and eating the french toast I made him for breakfast.  The french toast I started making while he was still sleeping (nevermind I never had a minute to read the newspaper).  

I didn't get much sleep myself, because I married a buzz saw snorer.  No sleep makes for a cranky wife.

Let's be honest, if I could sleep in as late as Briefcase does on the weekends, stay in my robe until noon, and have someone prepare me french toast for breakfast I would really be loving life.

As Briefcase was still mulling over the paper and drinking coffee I was out the door running errands.  After, of course, throwing in a load of laundry.  I returned home just after 12:00 to find him still in his robe, now playing on the computer.

(Briefcase had cleaned up the dishes from his morning french toast … which has been our marital arrangement for as many centuries as we've been married.  I cook; he does dishes when he's home.  He's not home much during the week.)

I put in another load of laundry, and pulled out an assortment of food for the kids.  Then I left again to finish up a few more errands. 

My life?  Is  ** exciting ** !! 

Stop yawning!

I returned home, changed the laundry yet again, and began chopping up vegetables and doing a lot of other prep work in our kitchen for a big family dinner we had planned.  

Around 2:00 in the afternoon Briefcase went out for a run with our retrievers to get some exercise.  I was still working in the kitchen.

Did I have a spare minute to get some exercise?  No, I did not.

Briefcase returned from his run (hard work!) and turned on ESPN.  He started yelling at the TV because apparently the Angels are not living up to their potential as a baseball team.  Yelling at the TV to make the Angels improve their bullpen is, without question, hard work.  I think he had to drink a beer as a result of all that yelling at the TV.

I gave the dogs more water because they drank the entire contents of their bowl after running.  I went to the laundry room and started another load of laundry. It was right about then I commented, "I've got so much I need to get done in the next day or two."

Briefcase threw his hands up in the air in exasperation as if to say, "Well, get to it …! What have you been doing all day?!"

I almost lost my shit.

(!!!)

It was one of those marital moments.

Don't men even see what's happening around them?  Or does all that sitting on the couch watching ESPN blind them to what's going on in their surroundings?

I gave Briefcase The Marital Glare which means, "If you're smart, you won't say one more word right now or my head will explode all over the room and you'll be left to clean up the mess."

Briefcase is not fond of cleaning up messes and he particularly hates it when my head explodes.  He wandered outside and started watering our outdoor potted plants.  It was 4:30 in the afternoon at the time and, in my opinion, a nice hour for him to start thinking about making a contribution for the day.  Breathing doesn't count.  (Putting your own dishes in the dishwasher doesn't count.)

Ten minutes later Briefcase wandered back in and took a shower.  At 5 p.m. he announced his new glasses needed to be picked up.  He left to go get them and returned in time for a cocktail just prior to dinner.

Dinner, by the way, was a feast.  TR was home Saturday night but needed to leave the next day.  It was an early Easter dinner for our family.  I made a roast leg of lamb, a homemade mint sauce to accompany it, new potatoes, green beans in a butter lemon sauce and I concluded dinner with homemade strawberry shortcake for dessert.

After dinner I did more laundry.  Oh yes, I did.  I never stop doing laundry.

I suggested to Briefcase I would be happy to give a fifteen minute presentation to his Board of Directors next week.  I'm quite sure I'd do well and I think The Board would really like me.  How could they not?  I make a mean roast lamb and I'd be happy to bring some to the meeting.< /div>

I reminded Briefcase I have a lot of corporate experience.  I admit, I've been busy recovering from a car accident and doing laundry for several years quite awhile, but I'm sure it will come right back to me.

I think that might have been when Briefcase gave me The Marital Glare.

** We did NOT have wild, passionate, sex later the same evening! **

How do you divide chores in your family?  Who does the most work?  Do you ever feel cheated out of "me" time?  In a heterosexual marriage do you think the man or woman puts in more hours working each day?

© Twenty Four At Heart

99 Responses to “On the Home Front – Marital Peeves”

  1. vodkamom

    barely have time for coffee- just wanted to say Happy MOnday.
    gotta fly…..

  2. vodkamom

    barely have time for coffee- just wanted to say Happy MOnday.
    gotta fly…..

  3. vodkamom

    barely have time for coffee- just wanted to say Happy MOnday.
    gotta fly…..

  4. Jan

    Thank you for reminding me that I have married a saint. He does the laundry, he makes the bed, he does whatever it he sees needs to be done, from the dishes to sweeping the floors to even cleaning the toilet (although I usually do that one). He even washed the windows last weekend without being asked. The only thing he never seems to do is dust, but I don’t mind doing that. Not that it gets done all that often.
    Now, granted, when he’s gone on business – and that season just cranked up; I won’t see him again until May – I do the majority of the housework because he’s simply not here. He’ll never ask me what I do all day, though…he’s rather partial to his arms and he knows I’d rip them right out of their sockets if he did.

  5. Jan

    Thank you for reminding me that I have married a saint. He does the laundry, he makes the bed, he does whatever it he sees needs to be done, from the dishes to sweeping the floors to even cleaning the toilet (although I usually do that one). He even washed the windows last weekend without being asked. The only thing he never seems to do is dust, but I don’t mind doing that. Not that it gets done all that often.
    Now, granted, when he’s gone on business – and that season just cranked up; I won’t see him again until May – I do the majority of the housework because he’s simply not here. He’ll never ask me what I do all day, though…he’s rather partial to his arms and he knows I’d rip them right out of their sockets if he did.

  6. Jan

    Thank you for reminding me that I have married a saint. He does the laundry, he makes the bed, he does whatever it he sees needs to be done, from the dishes to sweeping the floors to even cleaning the toilet (although I usually do that one). He even washed the windows last weekend without being asked. The only thing he never seems to do is dust, but I don’t mind doing that. Not that it gets done all that often.
    Now, granted, when he’s gone on business – and that season just cranked up; I won’t see him again until May – I do the majority of the housework because he’s simply not here. He’ll never ask me what I do all day, though…he’s rather partial to his arms and he knows I’d rip them right out of their sockets if he did.

  7. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    (Holy crap Jan, pass that man over here!!)
    To answer the question: I do everything, and I mean everything. (Mind you, I am gone 12 hours a day for work). Cleaning, laundry, finances, cooking, shoppping etc.
    He will occasionaly go to the store when out of beer.

  8. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    (Holy crap Jan, pass that man over here!!)
    To answer the question: I do everything, and I mean everything. (Mind you, I am gone 12 hours a day for work). Cleaning, laundry, finances, cooking, shoppping etc.
    He will occasionaly go to the store when out of beer.

  9. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    (Holy crap Jan, pass that man over here!!)
    To answer the question: I do everything, and I mean everything. (Mind you, I am gone 12 hours a day for work). Cleaning, laundry, finances, cooking, shoppping etc.
    He will occasionaly go to the store when out of beer.

  10. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    (Holy crap Jan, pass that man over here!!)
    To answer the question: I do everything, and I mean everything. (Mind you, I am gone 12 hours a day for work). Cleaning, laundry, finances, cooking, shoppping etc.
    He will occasionaly go to the store when out of beer.

  11. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    (Holy crap Jan, pass that man over here!!)
    To answer the question: I do everything, and I mean everything. (Mind you, I am gone 12 hours a day for work). Cleaning, laundry, finances, cooking, shoppping etc.
    He will occasionaly go to the store when out of beer.

  12. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    (Holy crap Jan, pass that man over here!!)
    To answer the question: I do everything, and I mean everything. (Mind you, I am gone 12 hours a day for work). Cleaning, laundry, finances, cooking, shoppping etc.
    He will occasionaly go to the store when out of beer.

  13. DelicateFlowah

    Did I WRITE THIS? When did I start a blog? I do it all at home AND at my thankless (yet oddly fun) job at Trader Joes. Luckily, my husband is a fantastic cook or I would have booted his ass out the door a long time ago.

  14. DelicateFlowah

    Did I WRITE THIS? When did I start a blog? I do it all at home AND at my thankless (yet oddly fun) job at Trader Joes. Luckily, my husband is a fantastic cook or I would have booted his ass out the door a long time ago.

  15. DelicateFlowah

    Did I WRITE THIS? When did I start a blog? I do it all at home AND at my thankless (yet oddly fun) job at Trader Joes. Luckily, my husband is a fantastic cook or I would have booted his ass out the door a long time ago.

  16. Deidre

    Not being married, the work load is distributed to me.
    Although, I already can tell I am going to be bad at the Marital Glare.

  17. Deidre

    Not being married, the work load is distributed to me.
    Although, I already can tell I am going to be bad at the Marital Glare.

  18. Deidre

    Not being married, the work load is distributed to me.
    Although, I already can tell I am going to be bad at the Marital Glare.

  19. Joanne

    same here, 57 not married (ever) and get to work full time, do ALL the yardwork, housework, minor repairs, etc. At this point having help (oops, I mean husband! not the same, I think) would only confuse me. BUT….. if I had a snoring husband , I dont think I would mind him being absent (but not absent minded) from time to time. You have a yard-guy and a poolboy, so I think you need to get a hunky handyman on speed dial for those crappy situations. After all you do have physical limitations, right? I am sure you can work this in your favor!
    (ps) next time you make lamb, try a home made mango chutney instead of mint, it’s to DIE FoR!!!

  20. Joanne

    same here, 57 not married (ever) and get to work full time, do ALL the yardwork, housework, minor repairs, etc. At this point having help (oops, I mean husband! not the same, I think) would only confuse me. BUT….. if I had a snoring husband , I dont think I would mind him being absent (but not absent minded) from time to time. You have a yard-guy and a poolboy, so I think you need to get a hunky handyman on speed dial for those crappy situations. After all you do have physical limitations, right? I am sure you can work this in your favor!
    (ps) next time you make lamb, try a home made mango chutney instead of mint, it’s to DIE FoR!!!

  21. Joanne

    same here, 57 not married (ever) and get to work full time, do ALL the yardwork, housework, minor repairs, etc. At this point having help (oops, I mean husband! not the same, I think) would only confuse me. BUT….. if I had a snoring husband , I dont think I would mind him being absent (but not absent minded) from time to time. You have a yard-guy and a poolboy, so I think you need to get a hunky handyman on speed dial for those crappy situations. After all you do have physical limitations, right? I am sure you can work this in your favor!
    (ps) next time you make lamb, try a home made mango chutney instead of mint, it’s to DIE FoR!!!

  22. Nicki

    I feel whole heartedly 100%! I work at home and work 40+ hours a week and still I do 99% of all household duties including that never ending laundry and somehow I end up mowing the lawn, and cleaning the dog leavings in the yard too. I will give him kudos for car repairs because I draw the line at that. And he often throws something together for dinner if I am working through it (grilled cheese, mac and cheese etc…) There just aren’t enough hours in the day

  23. Nicki

    I feel whole heartedly 100%! I work at home and work 40+ hours a week and still I do 99% of all household duties including that never ending laundry and somehow I end up mowing the lawn, and cleaning the dog leavings in the yard too. I will give him kudos for car repairs because I draw the line at that. And he often throws something together for dinner if I am working through it (grilled cheese, mac and cheese etc…) There just aren’t enough hours in the day

  24. Nicki

    I feel whole heartedly 100%! I work at home and work 40+ hours a week and still I do 99% of all household duties including that never ending laundry and somehow I end up mowing the lawn, and cleaning the dog leavings in the yard too. I will give him kudos for car repairs because I draw the line at that. And he often throws something together for dinner if I am working through it (grilled cheese, mac and cheese etc…) There just aren’t enough hours in the day

  25. Linda

    I’m one of the lucky ones here. We both work full time but the ELPH cooks when I don’t (which is most of the time) and he does his own laundry. He cleans the toilets and the litter box. I’m a lazy ass so he even hired someone to clean my house twice a month. He maintains the vehicles and I mow the lawn. We’ve got it pretty evenly split but to be honest he probably does more of the work. I must admit I got very lucky!

  26. Linda

    I’m one of the lucky ones here. We both work full time but the ELPH cooks when I don’t (which is most of the time) and he does his own laundry. He cleans the toilets and the litter box. I’m a lazy ass so he even hired someone to clean my house twice a month. He maintains the vehicles and I mow the lawn. We’ve got it pretty evenly split but to be honest he probably does more of the work. I must admit I got very lucky!

  27. Linda

    I’m one of the lucky ones here. We both work full time but the ELPH cooks when I don’t (which is most of the time) and he does his own laundry. He cleans the toilets and the litter box. I’m a lazy ass so he even hired someone to clean my house twice a month. He maintains the vehicles and I mow the lawn. We’ve got it pretty evenly split but to be honest he probably does more of the work. I must admit I got very lucky!

  28. Lo

    i’m lucky – my husband usually ‘snaps’ and cleans the whole house while i’m deleriously exhausted. like yesterday. he even made me breakfast in bed. (a sandwich. don’t get your panties in a bunch.) but, that said, i clean EVERY DAY in an upkeep sort of attempt….. but when i get really stressed out, he tends to snap and clean everything all at once. also, he bags up his laundry and brings it to his moms house. yeah. at 25 years old. i shake my head and wash my own clothes. he says i’m not ‘speedy enough’. with two washers & dryers and twenty units, i tend to resort to hand-washing my thongs so that i have clean underwear. it works. he doesn’t approve.
    where was i going with this???? but i promise, our house is clean. and i also have a phd in the marital glare. it is something of a gift.

  29. Lo

    i’m lucky – my husband usually ‘snaps’ and cleans the whole house while i’m deleriously exhausted. like yesterday. he even made me breakfast in bed. (a sandwich. don’t get your panties in a bunch.) but, that said, i clean EVERY DAY in an upkeep sort of attempt….. but when i get really stressed out, he tends to snap and clean everything all at once. also, he bags up his laundry and brings it to his moms house. yeah. at 25 years old. i shake my head and wash my own clothes. he says i’m not ‘speedy enough’. with two washers & dryers and twenty units, i tend to resort to hand-washing my thongs so that i have clean underwear. it works. he doesn’t approve.
    where was i going with this???? but i promise, our house is clean. and i also have a phd in the marital glare. it is something of a gift.

  30. Lo

    i’m lucky – my husband usually ‘snaps’ and cleans the whole house while i’m deleriously exhausted. like yesterday. he even made me breakfast in bed. (a sandwich. don’t get your panties in a bunch.) but, that said, i clean EVERY DAY in an upkeep sort of attempt….. but when i get really stressed out, he tends to snap and clean everything all at once. also, he bags up his laundry and brings it to his moms house. yeah. at 25 years old. i shake my head and wash my own clothes. he says i’m not ‘speedy enough’. with two washers & dryers and twenty units, i tend to resort to hand-washing my thongs so that i have clean underwear. it works. he doesn’t approve.
    where was i going with this???? but i promise, our house is clean. and i also have a phd in the marital glare. it is something of a gift.

  31. knappmom

    If I had experienced that kind of day with my husband of 19 years, I think it would have earned him more than THE MARITAL GLARE. Men, in general, are very self absorbed. Must have something to do with the testosterone wash of their developing brains at about 6 weeks in utero. I think it absolutely gives them a lifelong case of the penis syndome. Hope you were able to talk some sense into him, although the no sex that night might have spoke volumes…..lol

  32. knappmom

    If I had experienced that kind of day with my husband of 19 years, I think it would have earned him more than THE MARITAL GLARE. Men, in general, are very self absorbed. Must have something to do with the testosterone wash of their developing brains at about 6 weeks in utero. I think it absolutely gives them a lifelong case of the penis syndome. Hope you were able to talk some sense into him, although the no sex that night might have spoke volumes…..lol

  33. knappmom

    If I had experienced that kind of day with my husband of 19 years, I think it would have earned him more than THE MARITAL GLARE. Men, in general, are very self absorbed. Must have something to do with the testosterone wash of their developing brains at about 6 weeks in utero. I think it absolutely gives them a lifelong case of the penis syndome. Hope you were able to talk some sense into him, although the no sex that night might have spoke volumes…..lol

  34. Kelly

    I’m with delicateflowah. I think I just wrote this too! Sad, isn’t it?

  35. Kelly

    I’m with delicateflowah. I think I just wrote this too! Sad, isn’t it?

  36. Kelly

    I’m with delicateflowah. I think I just wrote this too! Sad, isn’t it?

  37. Kate

    Not married but have a live in. He gets child dressed in whatever travelng cloths to get to the babysitter. I get the bag ready, take the child go to work, pick up the child and then come home to make dinner. Take care of child while making dinner. If I am lucky the child naps while I make dinner and eat dinner he arrives home and says that I have had “quality time” since child was napping. Then he complains that he doesn’t like what I made for dinner. Complains about how hard his job is and how easy I have it at work. Cause working at a suicide line is easy. He then spends the rest of the evening on the computer or playing video games. Probably entertains the child for half an hour or else when I am trying to get her ready for bed decides to wrestle with her get all wound up and then goes to sleep leaving me to stay up with the now wound up child. He does mow the grass in the postage stamp yard we have. He takes out the trash and he does his own laundry and sometimes the childs laundry if I haven’t gotten to it first. So yup I think I do much of the day to day work. As for actually cleanig the house…. well I am not a big cleaner until something gets to me and then I clean. So he doesn’t like that at all.

  38. Kate

    Not married but have a live in. He gets child dressed in whatever travelng cloths to get to the babysitter. I get the bag ready, take the child go to work, pick up the child and then come home to make dinner. Take care of child while making dinner. If I am lucky the child naps while I make dinner and eat dinner he arrives home and says that I have had “quality time” since child was napping. Then he complains that he doesn’t like what I made for dinner. Complains about how hard his job is and how easy I have it at work. Cause working at a suicide line is easy. He then spends the rest of the evening on the computer or playing video games. Probably entertains the child for half an hour or else when I am trying to get her ready for bed decides to wrestle with her get all wound up and then goes to sleep leaving me to stay up with the now wound up child. He does mow the grass in the postage stamp yard we have. He takes out the trash and he does his own laundry and sometimes the childs laundry if I haven’t gotten to it first. So yup I think I do much of the day to day work. As for actually cleanig the house…. well I am not a big cleaner until something gets to me and then I clean. So he doesn’t like that at all.

  39. Kate

    Not married but have a live in. He gets child dressed in whatever travelng cloths to get to the babysitter. I get the bag ready, take the child go to work, pick up the child and then come home to make dinner. Take care of child while making dinner. If I am lucky the child naps while I make dinner and eat dinner he arrives home and says that I have had “quality time” since child was napping. Then he complains that he doesn’t like what I made for dinner. Complains about how hard his job is and how easy I have it at work. Cause working at a suicide line is easy. He then spends the rest of the evening on the computer or playing video games. Probably entertains the child for half an hour or else when I am trying to get her ready for bed decides to wrestle with her get all wound up and then goes to sleep leaving me to stay up with the now wound up child. He does mow the grass in the postage stamp yard we have. He takes out the trash and he does his own laundry and sometimes the childs laundry if I haven’t gotten to it first. So yup I think I do much of the day to day work. As for actually cleanig the house…. well I am not a big cleaner until something gets to me and then I clean. So he doesn’t like that at all.

  40. Midlife Mama

    Men SO don’t get it. And you do all that with a broken wing?? Man, I think you deserve a medal. Men think sometimes because they “work” and their wives “don’t work” for pay that somehow the wives have this easy life. I’d say go on strike. Stop doing all you do and go away for a weekend. By yourself. See how he likes it.
    Oh, and Briefcase SO deserves the Doghouse, shown here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F2md4uGmMU
    Grrr. Men. They can be SO arrogant sometimes!

  41. Midlife Mama

    Men SO don’t get it. And you do all that with a broken wing?? Man, I think you deserve a medal. Men think sometimes because they “work” and their wives “don’t work” for pay that somehow the wives have this easy life. I’d say go on strike. Stop doing all you do and go away for a weekend. By yourself. See how he likes it.
    Oh, and Briefcase SO deserves the Doghouse, shown here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F2md4uGmMU
    Grrr. Men. They can be SO arrogant sometimes!

  42. Midlife Mama

    Men SO don’t get it. And you do all that with a broken wing?? Man, I think you deserve a medal. Men think sometimes because they “work” and their wives “don’t work” for pay that somehow the wives have this easy life. I’d say go on strike. Stop doing all you do and go away for a weekend. By yourself. See how he likes it.
    Oh, and Briefcase SO deserves the Doghouse, shown here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F2md4uGmMU
    Grrr. Men. They can be SO arrogant sometimes!

  43. Margie

    I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. I don’t cook during the week, hubby does but I’m the weekend cook. But I clean the kitchen all the time. He does the vacuuming and his own laundry. Son does his laundry. I do mine and the granddaughter’s. I do the dusting when it gets done and clean the bathrooms. He does all the yard work and we have a pretty good size yard. But overall, it’s a good set up. I can’t complain.

  44. Margie

    I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. I don’t cook during the week, hubby does but I’m the weekend cook. But I clean the kitchen all the time. He does the vacuuming and his own laundry. Son does his laundry. I do mine and the granddaughter’s. I do the dusting when it gets done and clean the bathrooms. He does all the yard work and we have a pretty good size yard. But overall, it’s a good set up. I can’t complain.

  45. Margie

    I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. I don’t cook during the week, hubby does but I’m the weekend cook. But I clean the kitchen all the time. He does the vacuuming and his own laundry. Son does his laundry. I do mine and the granddaughter’s. I do the dusting when it gets done and clean the bathrooms. He does all the yard work and we have a pretty good size yard. But overall, it’s a good set up. I can’t complain.

  46. dogmother

    I think it definitley has something to do with the testosterone….as a gender, they really don’t get it. Now, my husband does to a fair amount as long as it’s staring him in the face…he’ll do dishes, fold laundry, vaccuum…but it’s the “household management’ stuff that overwhelms me…..we both work full-time and I work two jobs…. The getting estimates, doing taxes, investing….the things that require looking beyond today! So I tried a new strategy….we need to get our attic insulated, so I asked husband to “take charge” of that project. Well, 4 months and two reminders later, I hired a contractor to do it. And what happends when us women “take charge” when they won’t budge….we are considered “control freaks”. How fair is that?

  47. dogmother

    I think it definitley has something to do with the testosterone….as a gender, they really don’t get it. Now, my husband does to a fair amount as long as it’s staring him in the face…he’ll do dishes, fold laundry, vaccuum…but it’s the “household management’ stuff that overwhelms me…..we both work full-time and I work two jobs…. The getting estimates, doing taxes, investing….the things that require looking beyond today! So I tried a new strategy….we need to get our attic insulated, so I asked husband to “take charge” of that project. Well, 4 months and two reminders later, I hired a contractor to do it. And what happends when us women “take charge” when they won’t budge….we are considered “control freaks”. How fair is that?

  48. dogmother

    I think it definitley has something to do with the testosterone….as a gender, they really don’t get it. Now, my husband does to a fair amount as long as it’s staring him in the face…he’ll do dishes, fold laundry, vaccuum…but it’s the “household management’ stuff that overwhelms me…..we both work full-time and I work two jobs…. The getting estimates, doing taxes, investing….the things that require looking beyond today! So I tried a new strategy….we need to get our attic insulated, so I asked husband to “take charge” of that project. Well, 4 months and two reminders later, I hired a contractor to do it. And what happends when us women “take charge” when they won’t budge….we are considered “control freaks”. How fair is that?

  49. Deb

    OMG men!!! Why don’t they ever look around and think to ask CAN I HELP????? Altho I did burst out laughing when you wrote about him yelling at the sports on tv. Its a universal thing w/men isn’t it?

  50. Deb

    OMG men!!! Why don’t they ever look around and think to ask CAN I HELP????? Altho I did burst out laughing when you wrote about him yelling at the sports on tv. Its a universal thing w/men isn’t it?

  51. Deb

    OMG men!!! Why don’t they ever look around and think to ask CAN I HELP????? Altho I did burst out laughing when you wrote about him yelling at the sports on tv. Its a universal thing w/men isn’t it?

  52. Elaine at Lipstickdaily

    Yeah . . . I work full time AND do 90% of the stuff around the house. He DOES do dishes and he DOES do laundry. But I’ll let you in on a little secret . . . going to the office and giving a presentation to the board is a VACATION compared to being a SAHM wife and mom . . . I know . . . I have that office vacation every day. I’m polishing up my board presentation right now . . . as easy as slathering on suntan lotion!

  53. Elaine at Lipstickdaily

    Yeah . . . I work full time AND do 90% of the stuff around the house. He DOES do dishes and he DOES do laundry. But I’ll let you in on a little secret . . . going to the office and giving a presentation to the board is a VACATION compared to being a SAHM wife and mom . . . I know . . . I have that office vacation every day. I’m polishing up my board presentation right now . . . as easy as slathering on suntan lotion!

  54. Elaine at Lipstickdaily

    Yeah . . . I work full time AND do 90% of the stuff around the house. He DOES do dishes and he DOES do laundry. But I’ll let you in on a little secret . . . going to the office and giving a presentation to the board is a VACATION compared to being a SAHM wife and mom . . . I know . . . I have that office vacation every day. I’m polishing up my board presentation right now . . . as easy as slathering on suntan lotion!

  55. EricaB/CrazyMomma

    Can I just tell you that my DH has been out of work for almost 2 months…
    Want to know where he is this very moment? Fishing.
    Want to know what I have done today…eh, there isn’t enough room to even type it…
    Pashaw! That MUST have been a rhetorical question.

  56. EricaB/CrazyMomma

    Can I just tell you that my DH has been out of work for almost 2 months…
    Want to know where he is this very moment? Fishing.
    Want to know what I have done today…eh, there isn’t enough room to even type it…
    Pashaw! That MUST have been a rhetorical question.

  57. EricaB/CrazyMomma

    Can I just tell you that my DH has been out of work for almost 2 months…
    Want to know where he is this very moment? Fishing.
    Want to know what I have done today…eh, there isn’t enough room to even type it…
    Pashaw! That MUST have been a rhetorical question.

  58. Christy

    My husband “doesn’t really notice” when things are a total disaster around here (and thus I might need some help.) I have to say, he does get up and deal with the dogs most mornings while I help the kids get ready for school, and for the most part when I need time away, he’s fine with it (although he doesn’t do everything I would do if I were taking care of the kids) but housekeeping is not his forte…I’d say making more of a mess is!

  59. Christy

    My husband “doesn’t really notice” when things are a total disaster around here (and thus I might need some help.) I have to say, he does get up and deal with the dogs most mornings while I help the kids get ready for school, and for the most part when I need time away, he’s fine with it (although he doesn’t do everything I would do if I were taking care of the kids) but housekeeping is not his forte…I’d say making more of a mess is!

  60. Christy

    My husband “doesn’t really notice” when things are a total disaster around here (and thus I might need some help.) I have to say, he does get up and deal with the dogs most mornings while I help the kids get ready for school, and for the most part when I need time away, he’s fine with it (although he doesn’t do everything I would do if I were taking care of the kids) but housekeeping is not his forte…I’d say making more of a mess is!

  61. nuckingfutsmama

    Wow — this hits home! My husband could literally walk right over a mountain of dust bunnies and never even bat an eye. The pile of laundry that’s busting out of the hamper — oblivious. His falling down pyramid of mail on the kitchen counter — invisible to him. Yes, I pretty much do it ALL too. The only thing he really does is take out the trash — whoopty shit! I’d give anything to have an office to escape to — hell, I can’t even escape to the bathroom to take a pee without somebody barging in on me.

  62. nuckingfutsmama

    Wow — this hits home! My husband could literally walk right over a mountain of dust bunnies and never even bat an eye. The pile of laundry that’s busting out of the hamper — oblivious. His falling down pyramid of mail on the kitchen counter — invisible to him. Yes, I pretty much do it ALL too. The only thing he really does is take out the trash — whoopty shit! I’d give anything to have an office to escape to — hell, I can’t even escape to the bathroom to take a pee without somebody barging in on me.

  63. nuckingfutsmama

    Wow — this hits home! My husband could literally walk right over a mountain of dust bunnies and never even bat an eye. The pile of laundry that’s busting out of the hamper — oblivious. His falling down pyramid of mail on the kitchen counter — invisible to him. Yes, I pretty much do it ALL too. The only thing he really does is take out the trash — whoopty shit! I’d give anything to have an office to escape to — hell, I can’t even escape to the bathroom to take a pee without somebody barging in on me.

  64. Anita

    Did you hear dh and I having a blow out over the same exact subject on Sunday and take notes????
    He’s still in the dog house. Waaaay back in the corner.

  65. Anita

    Did you hear dh and I having a blow out over the same exact subject on Sunday and take notes????
    He’s still in the dog house. Waaaay back in the corner.

  66. Anita

    Did you hear dh and I having a blow out over the same exact subject on Sunday and take notes????
    He’s still in the dog house. Waaaay back in the corner.

  67. merlotmom

    It’s our fault. You know, because we need to have a clean house, nice meals and clean kids and dogs. If we were just more like them, we’d be much happier. At least that’s what my husband says…

  68. merlotmom

    It’s our fault. You know, because we need to have a clean house, nice meals and clean kids and dogs. If we were just more like them, we’d be much happier. At least that’s what my husband says…

  69. merlotmom

    It’s our fault. You know, because we need to have a clean house, nice meals and clean kids and dogs. If we were just more like them, we’d be much happier. At least that’s what my husband says…

  70. Midlife Slices

    I admit, HBL gets the short end of the stick in this marriage. I’m going to hide this post from him so he doesn’t get any ideas.
    I hope Briefcase got the message!!

  71. Midlife Slices

    I admit, HBL gets the short end of the stick in this marriage. I’m going to hide this post from him so he doesn’t get any ideas.
    I hope Briefcase got the message!!

  72. Midlife Slices

    I admit, HBL gets the short end of the stick in this marriage. I’m going to hide this post from him so he doesn’t get any ideas.
    I hope Briefcase got the message!!

  73. Briefcase

    OK, I got the message. Would you like to sneak away to St. Lucia with me for a week or so?

  74. Briefcase

    OK, I got the message. Would you like to sneak away to St. Lucia with me for a week or so?

  75. Briefcase

    OK, I got the message. Would you like to sneak away to St. Lucia with me for a week or so?

  76. Heather

    Wait a minute. You were already going to St. Lucia so no fair Briefcase trying to make it sound good!
    My husband would love a wife like you. I’m a great big lazy ass.

  77. Heather

    Wait a minute. You were already going to St. Lucia so no fair Briefcase trying to make it sound good!
    My husband would love a wife like you. I’m a great big lazy ass.

  78. Heather

    Wait a minute. You were already going to St. Lucia so no fair Briefcase trying to make it sound good!
    My husband would love a wife like you. I’m a great big lazy ass.

  79. Pseudo

    Step One – EVERYONE does his or her own laundry. For Easter, buy everyone in your house a laundry basket.
    Step Two – Each person cooks dinner one night a week.
    Step Three – Hopefully, once they start doing laundry and cooking they will aprreciate everything else you do a bit more.
    Happy Easter 24 ; -)

  80. Pseudo

    Step One – EVERYONE does his or her own laundry. For Easter, buy everyone in your house a laundry basket.
    Step Two – Each person cooks dinner one night a week.
    Step Three – Hopefully, once they start doing laundry and cooking they will aprreciate everything else you do a bit more.
    Happy Easter 24 ; -)

  81. Pseudo

    Step One – EVERYONE does his or her own laundry. For Easter, buy everyone in your house a laundry basket.
    Step Two – Each person cooks dinner one night a week.
    Step Three – Hopefully, once they start doing laundry and cooking they will aprreciate everything else you do a bit more.
    Happy Easter 24 ; -)

  82. SSG

    MrC is a great cook. And he will also hoover and do the washing up. Things he cannot do are tidying, the laundry or cleaning. But he is great in bed.

  83. SSG

    MrC is a great cook. And he will also hoover and do the washing up. Things he cannot do are tidying, the laundry or cleaning. But he is great in bed.

  84. SSG

    MrC is a great cook. And he will also hoover and do the washing up. Things he cannot do are tidying, the laundry or cleaning. But he is great in bed.

  85. The Queen

    We are old school here, my fault.. I picked him..and I’m very happy with it.. most of the time..
    House work is for women…and helping on the farm… well.. is for women… ha ha…
    Glad we finally retired…It was starting to suck…
    now,, I get a little help in here ,, when he is feeling up to it…
    He does the best he can with this illness..he can unload the dishwasher if I give him enough time before screaming.. get out of my way and let me do it..
    I guess if it’s love,,, it just overlooks the icky stuff… and then… we blog about it..ha ha..

  86. The Queen

    We are old school here, my fault.. I picked him..and I’m very happy with it.. most of the time..
    House work is for women…and helping on the farm… well.. is for women… ha ha…
    Glad we finally retired…It was starting to suck…
    now,, I get a little help in here ,, when he is feeling up to it…
    He does the best he can with this illness..he can unload the dishwasher if I give him enough time before screaming.. get out of my way and let me do it..
    I guess if it’s love,,, it just overlooks the icky stuff… and then… we blog about it..ha ha..

  87. The Queen

    We are old school here, my fault.. I picked him..and I’m very happy with it.. most of the time..
    House work is for women…and helping on the farm… well.. is for women… ha ha…
    Glad we finally retired…It was starting to suck…
    now,, I get a little help in here ,, when he is feeling up to it…
    He does the best he can with this illness..he can unload the dishwasher if I give him enough time before screaming.. get out of my way and let me do it..
    I guess if it’s love,,, it just overlooks the icky stuff… and then… we blog about it..ha ha..

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