So You Think You’ve Got A Lot of Shit in Your Garage?

If you follow me on Twitter, you already know part of this story.  I was screaming on Twitter the other day.  And oh  yes, it's entirely possible to scream on Twitter.

By the way, did you know I lost ten Twitter followers the day I tweeted my clitoris?  They were all Marketing People.  But, never mind because that's an entirely separate discussion.

People are so uptight sometimes.  Especially, apparently, Marketing People.  Really, what's a clitoris?  A body part that half the population of the world has.  Get over it marketers … I tweeted my clitoris, and no one died!

Clitoris!  Vagina!  Penis!

Oh, right … I said never mind.

My kids have been on spring break this week.  We didn't have any big plans so we've been mainly hanging out with friends at the beach or by our pool.  

I guess we didn't have enough shit going on.

The other day PR called me and informed me he was ready to come home from a friend's house to enjoy some pool time.  I left for 15 minutes to go pick him up and when I came home I immediately noticed water (*ahem*) pouring down our driveway.  

I parked my car in the garage and saw half of our 3 car garage was flooded and not with water.  Of course it was the half of the garage we use for storage.  When I opened the car door my nostrils were violently assaulted by the overwhelming stench of sewage.  

Next, I ran into the house and slammed the door closed really hard so the odor wouldn't follow me into the house.

Terrible odors can do that if you don't slam the door hard enough.

I swore loudly and repeatedly at Briefcase who OF COURSE was out of state as he always is when Home Disaster strikes.  (And oh yes, this was the very same day we had a 4.6 earthquake jolt us just a few hours earlier.)  

Why did I marry a man who is always away for fun times?

Or for that matter, always away?

He tricked me, that's why.  (Someday I'll tell you how!)

And yes, it's perfectly reasonable to assume we had an earthquake and sewage leak because Briefcase was out of town.  

I'm nothing, if not reasonable ….

It was then I realized our latest Pool Boy was in our backyard cleaning leaves from our pool.  Somehow, instantly, I knew he was responsible.  I don't know how I knew, but I did.

I don't even know Pool Boy's name.  I know Pool Boy's bosses name, but The Boss sends out different workers every few weeks.  This Pool Boy was new and unlike my favorite Pool Boy he was decidedly lacking in the HOT department.  (Being hot should be a prerequisite for all Pool Boys!)

I walked in the backyard and without even a hello I asked, "What are you doing?"

He looked at me with the pool net in his hand as if to say, "Isn't it obvious I'm pulling leaves out of your pool?"

Before he could actually say anything, I made my question clearer by asking, "What did you do right before I got here?"

Pool Boy told me he had "back filled" the pipes to the pool filter.

I told him the garage was filling with sewage as a result.

He kept sweeping the pool with the pool net and gave me a little half-witted smile.

Inside, he must have been wondering, "What the fuck did I do wrong and what do I do about it?"  Outwardly, however, he was calm and did nothing but give me his stupid half- witted smile.

I went back in the house and called The Boss.  His reaction was, "Oh SHIT you're kidding me?!"

My answer was, "Lots of shit, and no I'm not kidding in the least."

He instantly knew what was wrong and told me he'd call Pool Boy immediately.

Turns out Pool Boy had hooked up his "back-filling" equipment to the sewage line by mistake. Instead of cleaning our pool filter, he had forced a break in a sewage line … right into our garage.

I thought we had a lot of shit in our garage before this happened.

The Boss promised to come out the next day to make all necessary pipe repairs.  Pool Boy spent the next several hours removing every single thing from our garage.  We were in need of a garage reorganization, so congratulations to him on getting the job done. 

He was up to his half-witted smile in shit for hours. 

Unfortunately, we had to throw away a lot of things we had in storage.  The biggest loss, as far as I'm concerned, were two large cardboard boxes of my favorite cookbooks.  I'd moved them into the garage temporarily because I've been reorganizing some things in the house.  And yes, I'm weeping over my loss because several of them are no longer in print.

Cardboard really absorbs shit.  Who knew?  Books stored inside cardboard boxes also absorb shit.  It was not a pleasant sight, at all.

In the end, we had to throw away a lot of stuff because once something has sat in shit, it's not really welcome in my home anymore.  (The only exception being babies because they're so easy to clean up and just adorable in general.)

Disclaimer:  There were no actual babies stored in my garage!

©  Twenty Four At Heart

114 Responses to “So You Think You’ve Got A Lot of Shit in Your Garage?”

  1. Kelly

    Maybe you should not TWEET YOUR CLITORIS in public? hee hee! So sorry to hear about all the shit you’ve got going on.
    This post made me L-A-U-G-H!!!

  2. Kelly

    Maybe you should not TWEET YOUR CLITORIS in public? hee hee! So sorry to hear about all the shit you’ve got going on.
    This post made me L-A-U-G-H!!!

  3. Kelly

    Maybe you should not TWEET YOUR CLITORIS in public? hee hee! So sorry to hear about all the shit you’ve got going on.
    This post made me L-A-U-G-H!!!

  4. SSG

    sorry i hope there weren’t any floaters… and its a shame the stuff got ruined. can you make pool boy get you some new cookbooks? Did he apologise? Accidents happen but then so does shit. Ah crap, hope the smell doesn’t linger, but even horrible situations you have the ability to type in a humourous way! hey, if you can laugh at the shit in your garage…

  5. SSG

    sorry i hope there weren’t any floaters… and its a shame the stuff got ruined. can you make pool boy get you some new cookbooks? Did he apologise? Accidents happen but then so does shit. Ah crap, hope the smell doesn’t linger, but even horrible situations you have the ability to type in a humourous way! hey, if you can laugh at the shit in your garage…

  6. SSG

    sorry i hope there weren’t any floaters… and its a shame the stuff got ruined. can you make pool boy get you some new cookbooks? Did he apologise? Accidents happen but then so does shit. Ah crap, hope the smell doesn’t linger, but even horrible situations you have the ability to type in a humourous way! hey, if you can laugh at the shit in your garage…

  7. Deidre

    My uncle took me to venice and the Lido. While on the beach, at the Lido, we rented a cabana to protect my pale lunar skin from the sun. You know what is not a cabana? A cabana without a cabana boy – WHERE WAS THE HOT CABANA BOY? Jesus hell.
    Back to the subject matter at hand, shit. I am so sorry…that’s absolutely unfortunate. used bookstores may have out of print cookbooks?

  8. Deidre

    My uncle took me to venice and the Lido. While on the beach, at the Lido, we rented a cabana to protect my pale lunar skin from the sun. You know what is not a cabana? A cabana without a cabana boy – WHERE WAS THE HOT CABANA BOY? Jesus hell.
    Back to the subject matter at hand, shit. I am so sorry…that’s absolutely unfortunate. used bookstores may have out of print cookbooks?

  9. Deidre

    My uncle took me to venice and the Lido. While on the beach, at the Lido, we rented a cabana to protect my pale lunar skin from the sun. You know what is not a cabana? A cabana without a cabana boy – WHERE WAS THE HOT CABANA BOY? Jesus hell.
    Back to the subject matter at hand, shit. I am so sorry…that’s absolutely unfortunate. used bookstores may have out of print cookbooks?

  10. sherendipity

    See? And people look at me funny when I pull a baby or three out of storage. I’m like, “Whut?” and they’re all self righteous and shit.

  11. sherendipity

    See? And people look at me funny when I pull a baby or three out of storage. I’m like, “Whut?” and they’re all self righteous and shit.

  12. sherendipity

    See? And people look at me funny when I pull a baby or three out of storage. I’m like, “Whut?” and they’re all self righteous and shit.

  13. Linda

    Put out a list of the out of print cookbooks. I get them gifted to me all the time because I don’t cook. Hello? People I DONT COOK! Not because I don’t have a book, because I don’t like it! ahem, sorry. Maybe we can round up your favs & replace them.
    Bright side? at least you got all theat shit out of the garage:)

  14. Linda

    Put out a list of the out of print cookbooks. I get them gifted to me all the time because I don’t cook. Hello? People I DONT COOK! Not because I don’t have a book, because I don’t like it! ahem, sorry. Maybe we can round up your favs & replace them.
    Bright side? at least you got all theat shit out of the garage:)

  15. Linda

    Put out a list of the out of print cookbooks. I get them gifted to me all the time because I don’t cook. Hello? People I DONT COOK! Not because I don’t have a book, because I don’t like it! ahem, sorry. Maybe we can round up your favs & replace them.
    Bright side? at least you got all theat shit out of the garage:)

  16. Jan

    I shrieked – literally SHRIEKED – when I read about your cookbooks. You KNOW how I am about cookbooks.
    The Pool Boy needs to be hung up by his testicles and flogged for that one. I’m sorry, but it’s true.
    Email me the names of the out-of-print books – I bet I can find at least some of them.

  17. Jan

    I shrieked – literally SHRIEKED – when I read about your cookbooks. You KNOW how I am about cookbooks.
    The Pool Boy needs to be hung up by his testicles and flogged for that one. I’m sorry, but it’s true.
    Email me the names of the out-of-print books – I bet I can find at least some of them.

  18. Jan

    I shrieked – literally SHRIEKED – when I read about your cookbooks. You KNOW how I am about cookbooks.
    The Pool Boy needs to be hung up by his testicles and flogged for that one. I’m sorry, but it’s true.
    Email me the names of the out-of-print books – I bet I can find at least some of them.

  19. Donna in VA

    Holy shit!! Literally! My heart goes out to you and your losses. What a nasty way to go. Cookbooks too, no less! Just horrible!
    Another thing that’s horrible. . . a Pool Boy that’s not HOT. I totally agree that HOT should be a prerequisite.
    Yet another thing. . . I was married to a pilot in the Navy, so I KNOW what it’s like to be home alone when all the disasters happen. It sucks. And boy does it bring back memories.
    On the positive side, you got your garage cleaned out. And I bet it’s a lesson stinky Pool Boy won’t forget soon.

  20. Donna in VA

    Holy shit!! Literally! My heart goes out to you and your losses. What a nasty way to go. Cookbooks too, no less! Just horrible!
    Another thing that’s horrible. . . a Pool Boy that’s not HOT. I totally agree that HOT should be a prerequisite.
    Yet another thing. . . I was married to a pilot in the Navy, so I KNOW what it’s like to be home alone when all the disasters happen. It sucks. And boy does it bring back memories.
    On the positive side, you got your garage cleaned out. And I bet it’s a lesson stinky Pool Boy won’t forget soon.

  21. Donna in VA

    Holy shit!! Literally! My heart goes out to you and your losses. What a nasty way to go. Cookbooks too, no less! Just horrible!
    Another thing that’s horrible. . . a Pool Boy that’s not HOT. I totally agree that HOT should be a prerequisite.
    Yet another thing. . . I was married to a pilot in the Navy, so I KNOW what it’s like to be home alone when all the disasters happen. It sucks. And boy does it bring back memories.
    On the positive side, you got your garage cleaned out. And I bet it’s a lesson stinky Pool Boy won’t forget soon.

  22. Lori

    Oh dear lord…doesn’t sound like a fun way to spend spring break. Hope it’s all cleaned up now and the smell is gone!

  23. Lori

    Oh dear lord…doesn’t sound like a fun way to spend spring break. Hope it’s all cleaned up now and the smell is gone!

  24. Lori

    Oh dear lord…doesn’t sound like a fun way to spend spring break. Hope it’s all cleaned up now and the smell is gone!

  25. Kari-Mel

    All the good “shit” responses have been taken…..dammit!
    That does suck! I can’t imagine such a mess! I think I’d have kicked smug, not hot, pool boy’s ass just a little for the fun of it!

  26. Kari-Mel

    All the good “shit” responses have been taken…..dammit!
    That does suck! I can’t imagine such a mess! I think I’d have kicked smug, not hot, pool boy’s ass just a little for the fun of it!

  27. Kari-Mel

    All the good “shit” responses have been taken…..dammit!
    That does suck! I can’t imagine such a mess! I think I’d have kicked smug, not hot, pool boy’s ass just a little for the fun of it!

  28. tonya cinnamon

    damn, shitty mess indeed..
    i would have went for a vanilla carmel latte and go hide and just called it a day.
    will the company pay for damages?
    and look on the bright side. the garage is clean even if now you need a ton of air freshener
    hugs!!

  29. tonya cinnamon

    damn, shitty mess indeed..
    i would have went for a vanilla carmel latte and go hide and just called it a day.
    will the company pay for damages?
    and look on the bright side. the garage is clean even if now you need a ton of air freshener
    hugs!!

  30. tonya cinnamon

    damn, shitty mess indeed..
    i would have went for a vanilla carmel latte and go hide and just called it a day.
    will the company pay for damages?
    and look on the bright side. the garage is clean even if now you need a ton of air freshener
    hugs!!

  31. Cute~Ella

    Ewwww.
    You know, you might be the luckiest girl on the planet. I think you should feel honored that Briefcase is never home for the fun, it means you get to enjoy it all yourself!
    Do you have a list of the books that were damaged/lost? I’m often in used book stores and would be happy to keep my eyes open for you!

  32. Cute~Ella

    Ewwww.
    You know, you might be the luckiest girl on the planet. I think you should feel honored that Briefcase is never home for the fun, it means you get to enjoy it all yourself!
    Do you have a list of the books that were damaged/lost? I’m often in used book stores and would be happy to keep my eyes open for you!

  33. Cute~Ella

    Ewwww.
    You know, you might be the luckiest girl on the planet. I think you should feel honored that Briefcase is never home for the fun, it means you get to enjoy it all yourself!
    Do you have a list of the books that were damaged/lost? I’m often in used book stores and would be happy to keep my eyes open for you!

  34. Margie

    I hope “everything works out in the end”. 🙂 Sorry about your cookbooks. Maybe they can be replaced eventually.

  35. Margie

    I hope “everything works out in the end”. 🙂 Sorry about your cookbooks. Maybe they can be replaced eventually.

  36. Margie

    I hope “everything works out in the end”. 🙂 Sorry about your cookbooks. Maybe they can be replaced eventually.

  37. Kristan

    Oh man… I would be SO PISSED at that Pool Boy. But it sounds like you remained relatively calm.
    On the other hand… it’s sometimes nice to have a reason to purge stuff. At the end of the day, it is just stuff.

  38. Kristan

    Oh man… I would be SO PISSED at that Pool Boy. But it sounds like you remained relatively calm.
    On the other hand… it’s sometimes nice to have a reason to purge stuff. At the end of the day, it is just stuff.

  39. Kristan

    Oh man… I would be SO PISSED at that Pool Boy. But it sounds like you remained relatively calm.
    On the other hand… it’s sometimes nice to have a reason to purge stuff. At the end of the day, it is just stuff.

  40. Lo

    dude totally google those cookbooks, even out of print books are for sale on obscure website for like, next to nothing. i know, trust me, i’m a HUGE book fan and i’ve scoured the ends of the earth before simply googling and in .45 seconds flat TA DA there’s the book.
    and also? EW. straight out, EW TO THE EFFING EW. that’s just…. wrong. at least you weren’t storing anything super important like photo albums, baby memories, etc… that would’ve sucked.
    blech. ew. i just threw up in my mouth a little.

  41. Lo

    dude totally google those cookbooks, even out of print books are for sale on obscure website for like, next to nothing. i know, trust me, i’m a HUGE book fan and i’ve scoured the ends of the earth before simply googling and in .45 seconds flat TA DA there’s the book.
    and also? EW. straight out, EW TO THE EFFING EW. that’s just…. wrong. at least you weren’t storing anything super important like photo albums, baby memories, etc… that would’ve sucked.
    blech. ew. i just threw up in my mouth a little.

  42. Lo

    dude totally google those cookbooks, even out of print books are for sale on obscure website for like, next to nothing. i know, trust me, i’m a HUGE book fan and i’ve scoured the ends of the earth before simply googling and in .45 seconds flat TA DA there’s the book.
    and also? EW. straight out, EW TO THE EFFING EW. that’s just…. wrong. at least you weren’t storing anything super important like photo albums, baby memories, etc… that would’ve sucked.
    blech. ew. i just threw up in my mouth a little.

  43. Elixa

    Your favorite cookbooks!!!! I would have killed Pool boy. What a shit head. You just don’t mess with someone’s books. I really feel your pain.

  44. Elixa

    Your favorite cookbooks!!!! I would have killed Pool boy. What a shit head. You just don’t mess with someone’s books. I really feel your pain.

  45. Elixa

    Your favorite cookbooks!!!! I would have killed Pool boy. What a shit head. You just don’t mess with someone’s books. I really feel your pain.

  46. Christine

    Ohhhh I would have been livid. Books are…books are…GAH! BOOKS!!! My precioouusssssss!
    I don’t even like to let people borrow them because god forbid they dog ear a page or crease the spine! You wouldn’t believe how hard it was for me to finally break down and write notes in my college textbooks.
    As for your marketing followers on Twitter — they’re just jealous because they’ve lost theirs and haven’t been able to find them since.

  47. Christine

    Ohhhh I would have been livid. Books are…books are…GAH! BOOKS!!! My precioouusssssss!
    I don’t even like to let people borrow them because god forbid they dog ear a page or crease the spine! You wouldn’t believe how hard it was for me to finally break down and write notes in my college textbooks.
    As for your marketing followers on Twitter — they’re just jealous because they’ve lost theirs and haven’t been able to find them since.

  48. Christine

    Ohhhh I would have been livid. Books are…books are…GAH! BOOKS!!! My precioouusssssss!
    I don’t even like to let people borrow them because god forbid they dog ear a page or crease the spine! You wouldn’t believe how hard it was for me to finally break down and write notes in my college textbooks.
    As for your marketing followers on Twitter — they’re just jealous because they’ve lost theirs and haven’t been able to find them since.

  49. Grace

    Sounds like the new Pool Boy is totally clueless. Thankfully The Boss got him to clean out your garage. Now are they going to powerwash your garage out to make sure all the shit is cleaned out thoroughly?

  50. Grace

    Sounds like the new Pool Boy is totally clueless. Thankfully The Boss got him to clean out your garage. Now are they going to powerwash your garage out to make sure all the shit is cleaned out thoroughly?

  51. Grace

    Sounds like the new Pool Boy is totally clueless. Thankfully The Boss got him to clean out your garage. Now are they going to powerwash your garage out to make sure all the shit is cleaned out thoroughly?

  52. Deb

    OMG I think I would have run away from home & never come back. At least not until everything was FIXED. UGH! Altho I’m so glad to hear your not storing babies in the garage!

  53. Deb

    OMG I think I would have run away from home & never come back. At least not until everything was FIXED. UGH! Altho I’m so glad to hear your not storing babies in the garage!

  54. Deb

    OMG I think I would have run away from home & never come back. At least not until everything was FIXED. UGH! Altho I’m so glad to hear your not storing babies in the garage!

  55. dogmother

    Thank goodness it didn’t back up into the house! Just trying to look at the upside 🙂

  56. dogmother

    Thank goodness it didn’t back up into the house! Just trying to look at the upside 🙂

  57. dogmother

    Thank goodness it didn’t back up into the house! Just trying to look at the upside 🙂

  58. San Diego Momma

    Oh dear Lord, no.
    I have a certified poo thing, as in I cannot think about it for more than one second, so I’m fanning myself on the couch right now.
    I’m just glad I made it through this post without barfing on myself.
    (Sorry about the mess.)

  59. San Diego Momma

    Oh dear Lord, no.
    I have a certified poo thing, as in I cannot think about it for more than one second, so I’m fanning myself on the couch right now.
    I’m just glad I made it through this post without barfing on myself.
    (Sorry about the mess.)

  60. San Diego Momma

    Oh dear Lord, no.
    I have a certified poo thing, as in I cannot think about it for more than one second, so I’m fanning myself on the couch right now.
    I’m just glad I made it through this post without barfing on myself.
    (Sorry about the mess.)

  61. Krystal

    All I know is that I am soooo glad that I do not have a septic tank!!! (But with my luck by the time I buy a house, I will get one with a septic tank and then there will really be shit everywhere!)

  62. Krystal

    All I know is that I am soooo glad that I do not have a septic tank!!! (But with my luck by the time I buy a house, I will get one with a septic tank and then there will really be shit everywhere!)

  63. Krystal

    All I know is that I am soooo glad that I do not have a septic tank!!! (But with my luck by the time I buy a house, I will get one with a septic tank and then there will really be shit everywhere!)

  64. Sandra

    Yikes-ola! Thank goodness Pool Boy was still there so you could Sherlock Holmes him on what happened.
    Once when I was at work, my hall bathroom toilet flex hose ruptured and proceeded to spew 1500 gallons of water into my house. (water billed doubled that month) That too was fun to come home to while hubby was at work. We got new hardwood through out my house out of the deal. There is always a silver lining.

  65. Sandra

    Yikes-ola! Thank goodness Pool Boy was still there so you could Sherlock Holmes him on what happened.
    Once when I was at work, my hall bathroom toilet flex hose ruptured and proceeded to spew 1500 gallons of water into my house. (water billed doubled that month) That too was fun to come home to while hubby was at work. We got new hardwood through out my house out of the deal. There is always a silver lining.

  66. Sandra

    Yikes-ola! Thank goodness Pool Boy was still there so you could Sherlock Holmes him on what happened.
    Once when I was at work, my hall bathroom toilet flex hose ruptured and proceeded to spew 1500 gallons of water into my house. (water billed doubled that month) That too was fun to come home to while hubby was at work. We got new hardwood through out my house out of the deal. There is always a silver lining.

  67. Midlife Slices

    I would have to wring pool boys neck if he destroyed my precious cookbooks. I’ll bet you have a new pool boy next week. LOL
    I would still have called HBL and yelled at him just because he wasnt’t here to deal with the shit.

  68. Midlife Slices

    I would have to wring pool boys neck if he destroyed my precious cookbooks. I’ll bet you have a new pool boy next week. LOL
    I would still have called HBL and yelled at him just because he wasnt’t here to deal with the shit.

  69. Midlife Slices

    I would have to wring pool boys neck if he destroyed my precious cookbooks. I’ll bet you have a new pool boy next week. LOL
    I would still have called HBL and yelled at him just because he wasnt’t here to deal with the shit.

  70. Mama Dawg

    Not to be mean, but that was funny. And kind of sad.
    Glad you had the pool boy there to haul the shit.

  71. Mama Dawg

    Not to be mean, but that was funny. And kind of sad.
    Glad you had the pool boy there to haul the shit.

  72. Mama Dawg

    Not to be mean, but that was funny. And kind of sad.
    Glad you had the pool boy there to haul the shit.

  73. Stacey

    The only thing more awesome than this post is the fact that you actually have a pool boy.

  74. Stacey

    The only thing more awesome than this post is the fact that you actually have a pool boy.

  75. Stacey

    The only thing more awesome than this post is the fact that you actually have a pool boy.

  76. Kate

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Oops, sorry to be laughing but ha ha ha ha ha!!

  77. Kate

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Oops, sorry to be laughing but ha ha ha ha ha!!

  78. Kate

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Oops, sorry to be laughing but ha ha ha ha ha!!

  79. Fragrant Liar

    Eeeeeeek! Now I know shit from shinola, and it’s all your husband’s fault for not being around when the shit happened! Tell him he owes you BIG time.
    Oh,and sorry about the cookbooks.

  80. Fragrant Liar

    Eeeeeeek! Now I know shit from shinola, and it’s all your husband’s fault for not being around when the shit happened! Tell him he owes you BIG time.
    Oh,and sorry about the cookbooks.

  81. Fragrant Liar

    Eeeeeeek! Now I know shit from shinola, and it’s all your husband’s fault for not being around when the shit happened! Tell him he owes you BIG time.
    Oh,and sorry about the cookbooks.

  82. Stepping Thru

    Since Shit is my favorite curse word I would have just had to stand there, look at my cookbooks and repeat – shit,shit,shit,shit,shit! I LOVE my cookbooks and would seriously hurt someone who messed them up. I’m sorry!

  83. Stepping Thru

    Since Shit is my favorite curse word I would have just had to stand there, look at my cookbooks and repeat – shit,shit,shit,shit,shit! I LOVE my cookbooks and would seriously hurt someone who messed them up. I’m sorry!

  84. Stepping Thru

    Since Shit is my favorite curse word I would have just had to stand there, look at my cookbooks and repeat – shit,shit,shit,shit,shit! I LOVE my cookbooks and would seriously hurt someone who messed them up. I’m sorry!

  85. Midlife Mama

    YUCK! Oh shit. Lots of shit.
    But you have a POOL BOY?? SEriously?? OMG I thought that was just a joke. LOL TOo bad he was as lacking in hotness as he was in brains. I mean, if he’d been hot, at least it would have been semi worth it. hehe
    Sorry about your cookbooks, darlin’. Especially the irreplaceable ones. I’d suggest looking online. CraigsList, Ebay, somesuch.

  86. Midlife Mama

    YUCK! Oh shit. Lots of shit.
    But you have a POOL BOY?? SEriously?? OMG I thought that was just a joke. LOL TOo bad he was as lacking in hotness as he was in brains. I mean, if he’d been hot, at least it would have been semi worth it. hehe
    Sorry about your cookbooks, darlin’. Especially the irreplaceable ones. I’d suggest looking online. CraigsList, Ebay, somesuch.

  87. Midlife Mama

    YUCK! Oh shit. Lots of shit.
    But you have a POOL BOY?? SEriously?? OMG I thought that was just a joke. LOL TOo bad he was as lacking in hotness as he was in brains. I mean, if he’d been hot, at least it would have been semi worth it. hehe
    Sorry about your cookbooks, darlin’. Especially the irreplaceable ones. I’d suggest looking online. CraigsList, Ebay, somesuch.

  88. Nicki

    holy shit. blech. I don’t know how you survived I would have called my husband home in a flash. you are one strong woman!

  89. Nicki

    holy shit. blech. I don’t know how you survived I would have called my husband home in a flash. you are one strong woman!

  90. Nicki

    holy shit. blech. I don’t know how you survived I would have called my husband home in a flash. you are one strong woman!

  91. Sticky

    that was too funny and yet so tragic…
    not hot pool boy-
    shitty cook books
    no hubby to share in the shit…
    but the good news is you have fewer marketing people following you!

  92. Sticky

    that was too funny and yet so tragic…
    not hot pool boy-
    shitty cook books
    no hubby to share in the shit…
    but the good news is you have fewer marketing people following you!

  93. Sticky

    that was too funny and yet so tragic…
    not hot pool boy-
    shitty cook books
    no hubby to share in the shit…
    but the good news is you have fewer marketing people following you!

  94. Lydia

    I’d fire pool boy immediately. Well after he cleaned all my shit. (ha). I’d fire him for lack of hotness not because of the crappy accident he had. Why have a pool boy if he isn’t hot?

  95. Lydia

    I’d fire pool boy immediately. Well after he cleaned all my shit. (ha). I’d fire him for lack of hotness not because of the crappy accident he had. Why have a pool boy if he isn’t hot?

  96. Lydia

    I’d fire pool boy immediately. Well after he cleaned all my shit. (ha). I’d fire him for lack of hotness not because of the crappy accident he had. Why have a pool boy if he isn’t hot?

  97. Rochelle

    You are so funny, your blog cracks me up. Sorry about all that mess, that’s just awful!

  98. Rochelle

    You are so funny, your blog cracks me up. Sorry about all that mess, that’s just awful!

  99. Rochelle

    You are so funny, your blog cracks me up. Sorry about all that mess, that’s just awful!

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