Tanning Mishap!

Before I get started on today's post, can I just say you always amaze me?  The responses I got on yesterday's post were not at all what I expected to get.  There's a crisis of missing clitori (plural?) among women and I wasn't even aware of it until I read your comments. Honestly, I think it's a worldwide crisis in need of immediate attention.  

Obviously, it's a subject I'll have to come back to sometime soon.

In the meantime, if I ever lose my clitoris again I wouldn't mind having Brody Jenner help me find it.  I found this picture of him on line via People Magazine.

Brody_jenner

Don't you just love a man with a big bird?  

** Drool **

Anyway ….

I continue to work on my pre-vacation tan.  The purpose of my pre-vacation tan is not for vanity's sake.  I'm not subjecting myself to certain death (by tanning booth UV rays) for the sake of beauty.  I'm just trying to get a base tan because I'm so fair I don't want to be crispy fried in my first thirty seconds by the equator.  

My regular readers know my first encounter with the tanning booth resulted in me burning the hell out of my ass.

Since then, things have gone much smoother at the tanning booth.

(That is, after my butt was done peeling.  And my nipples too, for that matter.)

On recent visits, I've stayed in the booth for less time, and I've added minutes gradually. I bring spray-on sunscreen with me and make sure my very fair skin has been sprayed prior to tanning.  I ask for towels and I use them to cover my privates, my nipples and my face while I'm there.  (Because really, who needs wrinkles on any of those places?)

Sounds perfect, doesn't it?

And yet, this is me we're talking about.

Yesterday I was all set to hop in the coffin-like tanning bed.  I was stark naked, wet and slippery with sunscreen, and ready to tan.  That's when I noticed the error light flashing on the tanning bed.  

I hesitated.  I pushed the "on" button.  Nothing happened.  I pushed it again just in case. Nothing.  The error light continued to flash.

I paused.  I contemplated my nakedness in the mirror.  Certainly not great nakedness, but it could be worse.  (Maybe?)  I glanced at the pile of my clothes.  I could put them on, walk out to the reception area and tell Tan Barbie the bed was not working.  If I did that, my clothes would instantly be coated with the sunscreen I had just applied.

I looked at the three little hand towels I'd been given.  I remembered when I entered the building a moment before no one, and I mean no one, was in the building except for Tan Barbie and I.

It crossed my mind I could cover myself with the three hand towels, stick my head out the door and yell to Tan Barbie in the reception area.  Surely she'd hear me and flip a switch or something to make the tanning bed work.

Wouldn't you think?

If she told me she needed to actually come into the room, I'd ask her to hand me a bigger towel before letting her in.  It seemed full proof.

Did I mention this is me we're talking about?

I grabbed one of the towels and realized how very tiny it was.  It was only slightly bigger than a washcloth.  I held it up to my breasts.  I have big boobs and one of those tiny towels would not do the trick.  I grabbed a second one and tried to use my one good arm to pin the two towels over the my two tits.

I was left bottomless.

I put down the two towels and grabbed the third.  I realized there was no way I could hold two towels over my boobs, and one over my hoo haa and still have a free hand available to open the door.  I needed to improvise.

I'm kind of blushing now, just thinking about what I did.

**  Ahem  **

At the time it seemed to make perfect sense.  

I took one towel and sort of made it into a cooter cover and I gripped it with my thighs to keep it in place.  Think diaper-ish … sort of.  Then with my left hand I tried to hold the two other towels up over my breasts while I opened the door with my right hand.

I kept my body behind the door, but I stuck my head out and glanced down the deserted hallway.

I was surprised to realize there was fairly loud music in the hallway.  I yelled down the hall towards the reception area for Tan Barbie.  The reception area was not in my field of vision, but around the corner at the end of the hall.  Tan Barbie did not hear me.  I tried again, but louder.

No response.

I glanced up and down the hallway.  There was no one there.

I swear it.

I thought if I just took one or two steps down the hall surely Tan Barbie would hear me calling out.

One step.  Then two.  And then one more for good measure.

I called out again.

No response.

I had just taken another step forward when I heard a male voice behind me say, "Can I help you?"

I whirled around and found myself face to face with a blonde man in his early twenties. He had perfectly styled hair, startling blue eyes, and he was very, very tan.

I yelped in surprise.

His eyes made a quick sweep of me from head to toe and then a huge smirk appeared on his face.

"Do you need help?" he asked.

Is it possible for a person's entire body to blush?  Because I'm quite sure every single bit of mine had turned bright red as I tried to cower behind my three, teeny, tiny, towels.

"Do you work here?" I stammered.

"I do," he said and I could tell he was using every ounce of willpower not to burst out laughing.

"My tanning bed won't start and there's an error message on the controls," I rushed to explain.

He turned and walked into the room I'd just come out of.  He leaned over the bed, pushed a button and the error message went away.

I had followed him into the room, still trying to hold all three towels strategically in place. All the while, I was quite aware my ass was completely uncovered.

Right then Blonde Man turned and faced me.  His eyes, smiling with mischief, suddenly softened and looked kind.

"Relax," he said, "I'm gay."

There was a pause.  I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say.  

"Don't burn your nipples," he told me.  "I did once and you wouldn't believe how much it hurts."

Before I could tell him I'd already had the pleasure of burnt nipples, he turned and walked out of the room.

I reached towards the door to close it when suddenly he turned back.

"By the way," he added, "If you ever get an error message again there's an intercom on the other side of the bed.  You can just push the button and talk to the front desk."

And with that he left.

What do ya know?  There's an intercom right next to the tanning bed.

© Twenty Four At Heart

111 Responses to “Tanning Mishap!”

  1. Michelle

    He’s gay – doesn’t change your embarrassment factor.
    Poor you – hope your next session is not as blog-worthy (maybe 🙂 )

  2. Michelle

    He’s gay – doesn’t change your embarrassment factor.
    Poor you – hope your next session is not as blog-worthy (maybe 🙂 )

  3. Michelle

    He’s gay – doesn’t change your embarrassment factor.
    Poor you – hope your next session is not as blog-worthy (maybe 🙂 )

  4. Jan

    Oh, like being GAY is going to help the situation.
    Hey, Suze – there’s an intercom next to the tanning bed. And it might help if you learn how to reboot the thing. 😛

  5. Jan

    Oh, like being GAY is going to help the situation.
    Hey, Suze – there’s an intercom next to the tanning bed. And it might help if you learn how to reboot the thing. 😛

  6. Jan

    Oh, like being GAY is going to help the situation.
    Hey, Suze – there’s an intercom next to the tanning bed. And it might help if you learn how to reboot the thing. 😛

  7. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    I can’t wait until July, you are too much!

  8. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    I can’t wait until July, you are too much!

  9. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    I can’t wait until July, you are too much!

  10. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    I can’t wait until July, you are too much!

  11. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    I can’t wait until July, you are too much!

  12. Yvette (Lo's Mom)

    I can’t wait until July, you are too much!

  13. Peggy

    OMFG S – It’s way too early in the a.m. to have me guffawing over here! I think I just woke up my whole fucking family and 6am is MY time…I’m billing you! 🙂
    The squeezing of the washcloth between your legs…That one is going to have me laughing all day!
    You’re the best!

  14. Peggy

    OMFG S – It’s way too early in the a.m. to have me guffawing over here! I think I just woke up my whole fucking family and 6am is MY time…I’m billing you! 🙂
    The squeezing of the washcloth between your legs…That one is going to have me laughing all day!
    You’re the best!

  15. Peggy

    OMFG S – It’s way too early in the a.m. to have me guffawing over here! I think I just woke up my whole fucking family and 6am is MY time…I’m billing you! 🙂
    The squeezing of the washcloth between your legs…That one is going to have me laughing all day!
    You’re the best!

  16. Elixa

    I like Blonde Man.
    He is informative and gave you the best tips.
    Tan Barbie probably would not have known how to help you.
    So you should actually count your blessings as opposed to banging your head against the wall. LOL!

  17. Elixa

    I like Blonde Man.
    He is informative and gave you the best tips.
    Tan Barbie probably would not have known how to help you.
    So you should actually count your blessings as opposed to banging your head against the wall. LOL!

  18. Elixa

    I like Blonde Man.
    He is informative and gave you the best tips.
    Tan Barbie probably would not have known how to help you.
    So you should actually count your blessings as opposed to banging your head against the wall. LOL!

  19. Kate

    Oh my! You sure do get into some escapades. And I would have opened the door and yelled down the hall too. Not sure ir I would have actually stepped out though. Sorry LOL!

  20. Kate

    Oh my! You sure do get into some escapades. And I would have opened the door and yelled down the hall too. Not sure ir I would have actually stepped out though. Sorry LOL!

  21. Kate

    Oh my! You sure do get into some escapades. And I would have opened the door and yelled down the hall too. Not sure ir I would have actually stepped out though. Sorry LOL!

  22. Linda

    Ohmyohmyohmy! Where to start!? (as I wipe the coffee off my monitor!) Let’s see, even if he isn’t gay, you live in Ocean County, CA. You’re propably not the first big boobed, naked blonde he’s ever seen. snickersnort! Oh my! Thanks for the morning laugh!
    Oh and Tan Barbie should be fired. Isn’t it her job to instruct you on ALL the features of the tanning bed?

  23. Linda

    Ohmyohmyohmy! Where to start!? (as I wipe the coffee off my monitor!) Let’s see, even if he isn’t gay, you live in Ocean County, CA. You’re propably not the first big boobed, naked blonde he’s ever seen. snickersnort! Oh my! Thanks for the morning laugh!
    Oh and Tan Barbie should be fired. Isn’t it her job to instruct you on ALL the features of the tanning bed?

  24. Linda

    Ohmyohmyohmy! Where to start!? (as I wipe the coffee off my monitor!) Let’s see, even if he isn’t gay, you live in Ocean County, CA. You’re propably not the first big boobed, naked blonde he’s ever seen. snickersnort! Oh my! Thanks for the morning laugh!
    Oh and Tan Barbie should be fired. Isn’t it her job to instruct you on ALL the features of the tanning bed?

  25. Margie

    Oh. my. goodness. How funny. That would probably be what would happen to me too.

  26. Margie

    Oh. my. goodness. How funny. That would probably be what would happen to me too.

  27. Margie

    Oh. my. goodness. How funny. That would probably be what would happen to me too.

  28. Lori

    Too funny. I could so see this happening to me. I am sure you gave him something to smile about for the rest of his day/week.

  29. Lori

    Too funny. I could so see this happening to me. I am sure you gave him something to smile about for the rest of his day/week.

  30. Lori

    Too funny. I could so see this happening to me. I am sure you gave him something to smile about for the rest of his day/week.

  31. Nicki

    I don’t post comments all that often but OMG between yesterday and today…. love your blog posts they are the highlight of my mornings!

  32. Nicki

    I don’t post comments all that often but OMG between yesterday and today…. love your blog posts they are the highlight of my mornings!

  33. Nicki

    I don’t post comments all that often but OMG between yesterday and today…. love your blog posts they are the highlight of my mornings!

  34. Renee Couturier

    That is the funniest story! The craziest things seem to happen to you, is there anyone in CA who hasn’t seen you naked? HA HA!!!
    Don’t sweat it, once in college, on a beach trip I had 3, count them 3 men walk in on my while I was using the bathroom, pants down and all! These were all trucker men too!! What a hoot!

  35. Renee Couturier

    That is the funniest story! The craziest things seem to happen to you, is there anyone in CA who hasn’t seen you naked? HA HA!!!
    Don’t sweat it, once in college, on a beach trip I had 3, count them 3 men walk in on my while I was using the bathroom, pants down and all! These were all trucker men too!! What a hoot!

  36. Renee Couturier

    That is the funniest story! The craziest things seem to happen to you, is there anyone in CA who hasn’t seen you naked? HA HA!!!
    Don’t sweat it, once in college, on a beach trip I had 3, count them 3 men walk in on my while I was using the bathroom, pants down and all! These were all trucker men too!! What a hoot!

  37. Grace

    Just imagine if a client that looked like Brody found you in the hall. Thankfully the guy who found you actually worked there and tried to put you at ease. “Don’t burn your nipples” HA! Easier said than done.

  38. Grace

    Just imagine if a client that looked like Brody found you in the hall. Thankfully the guy who found you actually worked there and tried to put you at ease. “Don’t burn your nipples” HA! Easier said than done.

  39. Grace

    Just imagine if a client that looked like Brody found you in the hall. Thankfully the guy who found you actually worked there and tried to put you at ease. “Don’t burn your nipples” HA! Easier said than done.

  40. Lo

    oh. my. effing. god. you have WAY MORE BALLS THAN I DO. holy effing hell. that is horrific!! my worst nightmare! eeeeeeep! at least you know you’re comfortable with your body. i flip out if i have to even talk to the barbie at the tanning salon even while the only customer there!!!! i would’ve wiped my ENTIRE body down and re-dressed before even crackin that door. good god woman.
    one time while working at a tanning salon, the other people i worked with thought it would be a HOOT to steal my clothes while i tanned. so they undid the lock (we all had master keys), snuck into the room, and took my shirt. i had to walk out in my bra. it was good fun, but really? uh, i was nekked in there. and didn’t know someone had come in. after that i was like i am SO not tanning when the guys are working!!!

  41. Lo

    oh. my. effing. god. you have WAY MORE BALLS THAN I DO. holy effing hell. that is horrific!! my worst nightmare! eeeeeeep! at least you know you’re comfortable with your body. i flip out if i have to even talk to the barbie at the tanning salon even while the only customer there!!!! i would’ve wiped my ENTIRE body down and re-dressed before even crackin that door. good god woman.
    one time while working at a tanning salon, the other people i worked with thought it would be a HOOT to steal my clothes while i tanned. so they undid the lock (we all had master keys), snuck into the room, and took my shirt. i had to walk out in my bra. it was good fun, but really? uh, i was nekked in there. and didn’t know someone had come in. after that i was like i am SO not tanning when the guys are working!!!

  42. Lo

    oh. my. effing. god. you have WAY MORE BALLS THAN I DO. holy effing hell. that is horrific!! my worst nightmare! eeeeeeep! at least you know you’re comfortable with your body. i flip out if i have to even talk to the barbie at the tanning salon even while the only customer there!!!! i would’ve wiped my ENTIRE body down and re-dressed before even crackin that door. good god woman.
    one time while working at a tanning salon, the other people i worked with thought it would be a HOOT to steal my clothes while i tanned. so they undid the lock (we all had master keys), snuck into the room, and took my shirt. i had to walk out in my bra. it was good fun, but really? uh, i was nekked in there. and didn’t know someone had come in. after that i was like i am SO not tanning when the guys are working!!!

  43. Kelly

    I picture you trying to walk down the hall with a washcloth stuffed between your legs. hee hee
    blonde man probably tells all the naked ladies in the hallway that he’s gay. I’m sure he’s not. He just thought it would make you relax enough to drop the washcloths.
    ha ha!

  44. Kelly

    I picture you trying to walk down the hall with a washcloth stuffed between your legs. hee hee
    blonde man probably tells all the naked ladies in the hallway that he’s gay. I’m sure he’s not. He just thought it would make you relax enough to drop the washcloths.
    ha ha!

  45. Kelly

    I picture you trying to walk down the hall with a washcloth stuffed between your legs. hee hee
    blonde man probably tells all the naked ladies in the hallway that he’s gay. I’m sure he’s not. He just thought it would make you relax enough to drop the washcloths.
    ha ha!

  46. Missy

    I need to hit the tanning bed before the wedding in Hawaii. Needless to say I’m going to be cracking up the entire time I’m there. What timing!

  47. Missy

    I need to hit the tanning bed before the wedding in Hawaii. Needless to say I’m going to be cracking up the entire time I’m there. What timing!

  48. Missy

    I need to hit the tanning bed before the wedding in Hawaii. Needless to say I’m going to be cracking up the entire time I’m there. What timing!

  49. Midlife Mama

    ROFLMAO
    I burst out laughing, tears were coming out of my eyes and I was pounding the desk I was laughing so hard!! My co-workers think I’m strange but OMG!!!!
    I think an exhibitionist lurks inside you. You get caught naked way-y-y-y-y too much. But OMG that’s funny. He’s gay *snort*. That’s convenient isn’t it? LOL
    Holy cow that’s funny. OMG.

  50. Midlife Mama

    ROFLMAO
    I burst out laughing, tears were coming out of my eyes and I was pounding the desk I was laughing so hard!! My co-workers think I’m strange but OMG!!!!
    I think an exhibitionist lurks inside you. You get caught naked way-y-y-y-y too much. But OMG that’s funny. He’s gay *snort*. That’s convenient isn’t it? LOL
    Holy cow that’s funny. OMG.

  51. Midlife Mama

    ROFLMAO
    I burst out laughing, tears were coming out of my eyes and I was pounding the desk I was laughing so hard!! My co-workers think I’m strange but OMG!!!!
    I think an exhibitionist lurks inside you. You get caught naked way-y-y-y-y too much. But OMG that’s funny. He’s gay *snort*. That’s convenient isn’t it? LOL
    Holy cow that’s funny. OMG.

  52. Christine

    Oh no you didn’t.
    Oh wait. We’re talking about you…oh to be that comfortable in my body. LOL Totally would have gotten sunscreen all over my clothes before walking out in a washcloth bikini.

  53. Christine

    Oh no you didn’t.
    Oh wait. We’re talking about you…oh to be that comfortable in my body. LOL Totally would have gotten sunscreen all over my clothes before walking out in a washcloth bikini.

  54. Christine

    Oh no you didn’t.
    Oh wait. We’re talking about you…oh to be that comfortable in my body. LOL Totally would have gotten sunscreen all over my clothes before walking out in a washcloth bikini.

  55. Pseudo

    Do you remember the Friends episode where Ross went to the tanning place????
    Thanks for the picture. Maybe a picute post of clitori finders…

  56. Pseudo

    Do you remember the Friends episode where Ross went to the tanning place????
    Thanks for the picture. Maybe a picute post of clitori finders…

  57. Pseudo

    Do you remember the Friends episode where Ross went to the tanning place????
    Thanks for the picture. Maybe a picute post of clitori finders…

  58. sometimessophia

    A great story. You’re a lightning rod for hysterical mishaps, and you describe your adventures so well. It’s truly a pleasure to read your stuff.
    And that Jenner dude… is he dumb or what? Why else would he need his flank tattooed to remember his name? (Tell me it’s photoshopped.)

  59. sometimessophia

    A great story. You’re a lightning rod for hysterical mishaps, and you describe your adventures so well. It’s truly a pleasure to read your stuff.
    And that Jenner dude… is he dumb or what? Why else would he need his flank tattooed to remember his name? (Tell me it’s photoshopped.)

  60. sometimessophia

    A great story. You’re a lightning rod for hysterical mishaps, and you describe your adventures so well. It’s truly a pleasure to read your stuff.
    And that Jenner dude… is he dumb or what? Why else would he need his flank tattooed to remember his name? (Tell me it’s photoshopped.)

  61. melody

    OMG! I’d love to follow you around all day just for the entertainment factor. Why did he tatto his name on himself?

  62. melody

    OMG! I’d love to follow you around all day just for the entertainment factor. Why did he tatto his name on himself?

  63. melody

    OMG! I’d love to follow you around all day just for the entertainment factor. Why did he tatto his name on himself?

  64. Trina

    Just reading while eating lunch and now my keyboard is covered in the Dr. Pepper that came out my nose! Very funny.

  65. Trina

    Just reading while eating lunch and now my keyboard is covered in the Dr. Pepper that came out my nose! Very funny.

  66. Trina

    Just reading while eating lunch and now my keyboard is covered in the Dr. Pepper that came out my nose! Very funny.

  67. Sandra

    I almost had this happen once. Luckily the rooms the beds are in my salon have short walls (not reaching all the way to the ceiling) so I was able to yell over the wall so they heard me. I did not want to put my clothes on either so I would have had to waddle out there like you showing my bum. Of course I wouldn’t have bumped into a gay guy. My luck would be bumping into someone I KNOW!
    Does SPF work in tanning booths?? Maybe that’s a dumb blond question but I didn’t think they did.

  68. Sandra

    I almost had this happen once. Luckily the rooms the beds are in my salon have short walls (not reaching all the way to the ceiling) so I was able to yell over the wall so they heard me. I did not want to put my clothes on either so I would have had to waddle out there like you showing my bum. Of course I wouldn’t have bumped into a gay guy. My luck would be bumping into someone I KNOW!
    Does SPF work in tanning booths?? Maybe that’s a dumb blond question but I didn’t think they did.

  69. Sandra

    I almost had this happen once. Luckily the rooms the beds are in my salon have short walls (not reaching all the way to the ceiling) so I was able to yell over the wall so they heard me. I did not want to put my clothes on either so I would have had to waddle out there like you showing my bum. Of course I wouldn’t have bumped into a gay guy. My luck would be bumping into someone I KNOW!
    Does SPF work in tanning booths?? Maybe that’s a dumb blond question but I didn’t think they did.

  70. Sandi

    Holy shit! forget meeting for a drink. I am coming tanning with you. I’ve never laughed so hard reading a post in my life. I have to be your friend. I will hold the fourth hand towel for you!

  71. Sandi

    Holy shit! forget meeting for a drink. I am coming tanning with you. I’ve never laughed so hard reading a post in my life. I have to be your friend. I will hold the fourth hand towel for you!

  72. Sandi

    Holy shit! forget meeting for a drink. I am coming tanning with you. I’ve never laughed so hard reading a post in my life. I have to be your friend. I will hold the fourth hand towel for you!

  73. gina

    ahahahahhahaha!! how funny, i would have been soo embarrassed. have you started reading how to talk to a widower yet? im hoping to finish it up this weekend 🙂

  74. gina

    ahahahahhahaha!! how funny, i would have been soo embarrassed. have you started reading how to talk to a widower yet? im hoping to finish it up this weekend 🙂

  75. gina

    ahahahahhahaha!! how funny, i would have been soo embarrassed. have you started reading how to talk to a widower yet? im hoping to finish it up this weekend 🙂

  76. Midlife Slices

    I can’t believe you’re tanning for ANY reason. Just use 50 sunscreen on your vacation and you’ll be fine. No one burns more than me (red hair, blue eyes, white skin) and it works for me and I’ve been where you’re going.
    Now about that little incident……only you!!!

  77. Midlife Slices

    I can’t believe you’re tanning for ANY reason. Just use 50 sunscreen on your vacation and you’ll be fine. No one burns more than me (red hair, blue eyes, white skin) and it works for me and I’ve been where you’re going.
    Now about that little incident……only you!!!

  78. Midlife Slices

    I can’t believe you’re tanning for ANY reason. Just use 50 sunscreen on your vacation and you’ll be fine. No one burns more than me (red hair, blue eyes, white skin) and it works for me and I’ve been where you’re going.
    Now about that little incident……only you!!!

  79. Amanda

    Hah. I’d love to read Blonde Man’s blog on the situation. ‘Cause you know he told SOMEONE. lol.

  80. Amanda

    Hah. I’d love to read Blonde Man’s blog on the situation. ‘Cause you know he told SOMEONE. lol.

  81. Amanda

    Hah. I’d love to read Blonde Man’s blog on the situation. ‘Cause you know he told SOMEONE. lol.

  82. Deidre

    generally I do think that The Brody (people named brody as a whole. Adam brody, adrien brody, brody jenner) is foxy…but I had never seen him without a shirt and the tattoo with his own name down his side, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

  83. Deidre

    generally I do think that The Brody (people named brody as a whole. Adam brody, adrien brody, brody jenner) is foxy…but I had never seen him without a shirt and the tattoo with his own name down his side, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

  84. Deidre

    generally I do think that The Brody (people named brody as a whole. Adam brody, adrien brody, brody jenner) is foxy…but I had never seen him without a shirt and the tattoo with his own name down his side, WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

  85. Amy

    Bless you 24! I have to admire your willingness to share this sort of thing with us. Thank you!

  86. Amy

    Bless you 24! I have to admire your willingness to share this sort of thing with us. Thank you!

  87. Amy

    Bless you 24! I have to admire your willingness to share this sort of thing with us. Thank you!

  88. Alan

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    What an AWESOME story! And it could happen ONLY to you!
    By the way…I’m gay also…just so ya know…

  89. Alan

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    What an AWESOME story! And it could happen ONLY to you!
    By the way…I’m gay also…just so ya know…

  90. Alan

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    What an AWESOME story! And it could happen ONLY to you!
    By the way…I’m gay also…just so ya know…

  91. Cute~Ella

    I’m laughing with you. Really, WITH you!
    “Don’t burn your nipples” is one of the reasons I <3 gay men. No straight guy would think to tell you that!

  92. Cute~Ella

    I’m laughing with you. Really, WITH you!
    “Don’t burn your nipples” is one of the reasons I <3 gay men. No straight guy would think to tell you that!

  93. Cute~Ella

    I’m laughing with you. Really, WITH you!
    “Don’t burn your nipples” is one of the reasons I <3 gay men. No straight guy would think to tell you that!

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