Hit on in Money Town

I want to qualify this post right upfront by informing you I'm old, wrinkled, fat, and way past my prime.  

Yesterday I left PT and decided to run through the Money Town grocery store real quickly on my way home.  I had a zillion things to do and I was very preoccupied.  Physically I was at the grocery store, but mentally I was far, far away.

Apparently he saw me as I began shopping, but I was deep in thought and never noticed him at all.

About fifteen minutes into my shopping excursion, as I seriously contemplated the different available sizes of sandwich bags, I heard a man stammer, "Excuse me?"

Startled, I glanced up at a very tall, well built man.  He was not bad looking, but he wasn't a walking GQ guy either.  He was definitely not a Money Town man.  I knew that instantly.  I can spot a Money Town man with my eyes closed.  I can sense a Money Town man in the room before my eyes ever see him.  I expected him to ask me where the Fruit Loops were or something similar as men who are not used to being in grocery stores sometimes do.

He looked at me and didn't speak.  He blushed.  His cheeks flushed, he looked at the ground and then he began stammering nervously.  He was stammering so much it took me a minute to comprehend what he was actually saying.

"I know you're probably married or something like that but I just had to … I just feel like I have to tell you I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.  You are … just beautiful."

Stunned, I searched his eyes.  I was looking to see if he was mentally balanced, sincere, insincere, on drugs, or just mentally confused.

Beautiful?

I don't think anyone's told me I'm beautiful in a few bazillion years, and really?  The most beautiful woman he's ever seen?  C'mon, let's get real here!

I was so taken aback I didn't immediately say anything.

I might even have looked behind me to see if quite possibly he was talking to someone else.

All of a sudden he startled me by sticking his hand out at me and announcing, "Hi!  I'm Sam."

Mentally, I immediately dubbed him Stammering Sam.

His nervousness was so apparent I felt very sorry for him.  I shook his hand, did not offer my name, but answered, "Hi Sam, thank you so much.  You made my day."

"I really mean it," he said earnestly.  "I noticed you as soon as you walked in the store.  You're just beautiful."

"Well, that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.  Thank you Sam." 

Stammering Sam was very nervous, and very flustered and at that point he nearly ran away in the opposite direction down the grocery aisle.  I heard him let out a huge sigh as if talking to me had used every ounce of willpower.  I thought to myself it must be hard to be a man and feel pressure to initiate contact with women.

Wait a minute.  It's 2009, isn't it?  What pressure?

That's when I heard Sam say to a male customer further down the aisle, "I just talked to that woman, she's so beautiful," as he pointed at me.

Embarrassed, I pushed my cart around the corner away from Stammering Sam. 

"There must be something mentally wrong with Stammering Sam," I thought.

I continued shopping without incident.  As I was finishing up, I looked up to see Sam coming around the corner of the aisle.  He looked up, saw me, blushed, turned and practically ran away.

I laughed out loud.  His shyness was, admittedly, endearing.

Money Town men aren't shy.  Most Money Town men are cocky, arrogant, and over confident.  I can't imagine a Money Town man blushing, stammering, or even hesitating to talk to a woman.  Money Town men believe women should be honored to talk to them.

I paid for my groceries and pushed my cart through the parking lot towards my car.  All of a sudden a big white pick-up truck pulled up next to me.  (Money Town men most definitely do not drive pick-up trucks!)  I knew before I even glanced over who I would see.

"I'm sorry," Sam stammered shyly.  "I just need to ask you one thing."  

There was a pause.

"If I don't ask, I'll always wonder."

I nodded my head in understanding, but said nothing.

"Are you married?" he asked blushing profusely.

"Yes I am," I answered.  "But again, thank you for the compliments today."

"I had to ask," he explained.  

There was another pause.

"You won't ever see me again.  I promise I won't bother you … it's just … you take my breath away."

And then Stammering Sam drove away without another word.

Seriously?  I take his breath away?

I took his breath away and I wasn't even sitting on his stomach?

I'm old, wrinkled, fat, and way past my prime.  

What the hell?  

What's the funniest pick-up line anyone's ever used on you?

© Twenty Four At Heart

99 Responses to “Hit on in Money Town”

  1. SSG

    Hey, that is great. If someone told me that it would make my day too. I think people should give compliments to each other more often. And i’m glad not all men in your town are jerks.
    And take it all in 24@H, you’re one hot momma!

  2. SSG

    Hey, that is great. If someone told me that it would make my day too. I think people should give compliments to each other more often. And i’m glad not all men in your town are jerks.
    And take it all in 24@H, you’re one hot momma!

  3. SSG

    Hey, that is great. If someone told me that it would make my day too. I think people should give compliments to each other more often. And i’m glad not all men in your town are jerks.
    And take it all in 24@H, you’re one hot momma!

  4. Deidre

    Seriously, you’re a hottie!
    I was riding an escalator the other day and a young man pointed me out to one of his friends and said “Dude, CHECK OUT THAT GIRL’S PIGTAILS”

  5. Deidre

    Seriously, you’re a hottie!
    I was riding an escalator the other day and a young man pointed me out to one of his friends and said “Dude, CHECK OUT THAT GIRL’S PIGTAILS”

  6. Deidre

    Seriously, you’re a hottie!
    I was riding an escalator the other day and a young man pointed me out to one of his friends and said “Dude, CHECK OUT THAT GIRL’S PIGTAILS”

  7. Jan

    Stammering Sam is the most brilliant man you’ve ever met. Trust me.
    The most interesting pickup line I’ve ever heard? I couldn’t even begin to tell you; it’s been ages since I’ve been hit on (talk old, fat and wrinkled – and graying, to boot), but I guess everyone I know is boring, as well.

  8. Jan

    Stammering Sam is the most brilliant man you’ve ever met. Trust me.
    The most interesting pickup line I’ve ever heard? I couldn’t even begin to tell you; it’s been ages since I’ve been hit on (talk old, fat and wrinkled – and graying, to boot), but I guess everyone I know is boring, as well.

  9. Jan

    Stammering Sam is the most brilliant man you’ve ever met. Trust me.
    The most interesting pickup line I’ve ever heard? I couldn’t even begin to tell you; it’s been ages since I’ve been hit on (talk old, fat and wrinkled – and graying, to boot), but I guess everyone I know is boring, as well.

  10. Donna in VA

    As I was reading this, I was thinking so many things, like how you reacted exactly as I would have,etc. Then when you said, “I took his breath away and I wasn’t even sitting on his stomach?”, I literally started choking on my toast. So damn funny!

  11. Donna in VA

    As I was reading this, I was thinking so many things, like how you reacted exactly as I would have,etc. Then when you said, “I took his breath away and I wasn’t even sitting on his stomach?”, I literally started choking on my toast. So damn funny!

  12. Donna in VA

    As I was reading this, I was thinking so many things, like how you reacted exactly as I would have,etc. Then when you said, “I took his breath away and I wasn’t even sitting on his stomach?”, I literally started choking on my toast. So damn funny!

  13. sometimessophia

    What a marvelous, sweet story. I am such a skeptic that if it happened to me, I’d be wondering how I was being scammed and be on the lookout for pickpockets and accomplices. Pick-up lines? That’s so far in my past I can’t even remember. 😉

  14. sometimessophia

    What a marvelous, sweet story. I am such a skeptic that if it happened to me, I’d be wondering how I was being scammed and be on the lookout for pickpockets and accomplices. Pick-up lines? That’s so far in my past I can’t even remember. 😉

  15. sometimessophia

    What a marvelous, sweet story. I am such a skeptic that if it happened to me, I’d be wondering how I was being scammed and be on the lookout for pickpockets and accomplices. Pick-up lines? That’s so far in my past I can’t even remember. 😉

  16. Nicki

    You are a very beautiful woman don’t doubt that. It must have made you feel good even if it was an odd experience.
    As for a pickup line, I haven’t been picked up in YEARS.

  17. Nicki

    You are a very beautiful woman don’t doubt that. It must have made you feel good even if it was an odd experience.
    As for a pickup line, I haven’t been picked up in YEARS.

  18. Nicki

    You are a very beautiful woman don’t doubt that. It must have made you feel good even if it was an odd experience.
    As for a pickup line, I haven’t been picked up in YEARS.

  19. Linda

    That is the sweetest thing! How much nerve it must have taken for him to approach you and speak from his heart. What other personal challenges will the success of this accomplishment encourage him to do? Wow! You could be a turning point in his life!
    Oh, and the funniest pickup line used on me? “Are you a model?” BAWAHAHAHAHA!

  20. Linda

    That is the sweetest thing! How much nerve it must have taken for him to approach you and speak from his heart. What other personal challenges will the success of this accomplishment encourage him to do? Wow! You could be a turning point in his life!
    Oh, and the funniest pickup line used on me? “Are you a model?” BAWAHAHAHAHA!

  21. Linda

    That is the sweetest thing! How much nerve it must have taken for him to approach you and speak from his heart. What other personal challenges will the success of this accomplishment encourage him to do? Wow! You could be a turning point in his life!
    Oh, and the funniest pickup line used on me? “Are you a model?” BAWAHAHAHAHA!

  22. Kelly

    Sam sounds really sweet. Briefcase better pay attention or you could be swept off your feet. Doesn’t Briefcase tell you your beautiful? Men! I was told once I have extraordinary eyes. My eyes are hazel and quite average.

  23. Kelly

    Sam sounds really sweet. Briefcase better pay attention or you could be swept off your feet. Doesn’t Briefcase tell you your beautiful? Men! I was told once I have extraordinary eyes. My eyes are hazel and quite average.

  24. Kelly

    Sam sounds really sweet. Briefcase better pay attention or you could be swept off your feet. Doesn’t Briefcase tell you your beautiful? Men! I was told once I have extraordinary eyes. My eyes are hazel and quite average.

  25. LPC

    This one is simple. You are of course beautiful. However, Stammering Sam is not just not from Money Town. He’s not from Earth. He is a messenger of some pantheon of gods or other, sent to tell you that the recent talk of disability is nothing compared to how beautiful you are. Listen carefully.

  26. LPC

    This one is simple. You are of course beautiful. However, Stammering Sam is not just not from Money Town. He’s not from Earth. He is a messenger of some pantheon of gods or other, sent to tell you that the recent talk of disability is nothing compared to how beautiful you are. Listen carefully.

  27. LPC

    This one is simple. You are of course beautiful. However, Stammering Sam is not just not from Money Town. He’s not from Earth. He is a messenger of some pantheon of gods or other, sent to tell you that the recent talk of disability is nothing compared to how beautiful you are. Listen carefully.

  28. lo

    ohmahgah you are NOT FAT WRINKLED PAST YOUR PRIME OLD. damn girl. you’d think you were 80.
    and hello? i would just DIE if someone did this to me!!!! eeeee!!!! how terribly sweet of him, tho. what a nice man 🙂

  29. lo

    ohmahgah you are NOT FAT WRINKLED PAST YOUR PRIME OLD. damn girl. you’d think you were 80.
    and hello? i would just DIE if someone did this to me!!!! eeeee!!!! how terribly sweet of him, tho. what a nice man 🙂

  30. lo

    ohmahgah you are NOT FAT WRINKLED PAST YOUR PRIME OLD. damn girl. you’d think you were 80.
    and hello? i would just DIE if someone did this to me!!!! eeeee!!!! how terribly sweet of him, tho. what a nice man 🙂

  31. Alan

    Hmmmm…best pickup line someone has ever used on me…let me think…

  32. Alan

    Hmmmm…best pickup line someone has ever used on me…let me think…

  33. Alan

    Hmmmm…best pickup line someone has ever used on me…let me think…

  34. lo

    oh and one more thing? you have the most amazing teeth. i know that might not stop your heart. but coming from me, a girl who has craptastic teeth? they may look straight but are falling outta my head? yeah. you have stunning teeth.

  35. lo

    oh and one more thing? you have the most amazing teeth. i know that might not stop your heart. but coming from me, a girl who has craptastic teeth? they may look straight but are falling outta my head? yeah. you have stunning teeth.

  36. lo

    oh and one more thing? you have the most amazing teeth. i know that might not stop your heart. but coming from me, a girl who has craptastic teeth? they may look straight but are falling outta my head? yeah. you have stunning teeth.

  37. Deb

    I love the comment by LPC! So true! I’ve seen your twitter avatar and you are very pretty. I think once we get married we sometimes forget we are still WOMEN not just wives. You ARE beautiful and yet it doesn’t surprise me at all that you don’t even know it.

  38. Deb

    I love the comment by LPC! So true! I’ve seen your twitter avatar and you are very pretty. I think once we get married we sometimes forget we are still WOMEN not just wives. You ARE beautiful and yet it doesn’t surprise me at all that you don’t even know it.

  39. Deb

    I love the comment by LPC! So true! I’ve seen your twitter avatar and you are very pretty. I think once we get married we sometimes forget we are still WOMEN not just wives. You ARE beautiful and yet it doesn’t surprise me at all that you don’t even know it.

  40. NGS

    Awww…it sounds like Stammering Sam has had more than his fill of the Moneytown women.
    I’m impressed with how well you handled that situation. When people give me compliments, I’m less likely to say thanks and more likely to deny, deny, deny.
    You are beautiful. Don’t let where you live skew your vision of true beauty!!

  41. NGS

    Awww…it sounds like Stammering Sam has had more than his fill of the Moneytown women.
    I’m impressed with how well you handled that situation. When people give me compliments, I’m less likely to say thanks and more likely to deny, deny, deny.
    You are beautiful. Don’t let where you live skew your vision of true beauty!!

  42. NGS

    Awww…it sounds like Stammering Sam has had more than his fill of the Moneytown women.
    I’m impressed with how well you handled that situation. When people give me compliments, I’m less likely to say thanks and more likely to deny, deny, deny.
    You are beautiful. Don’t let where you live skew your vision of true beauty!!

  43. missy

    What a great day you had! Nothing like a sincere compliment to lift your spirits. I was told once (about 40 years ago) that I have nice ears…..

  44. missy

    What a great day you had! Nothing like a sincere compliment to lift your spirits. I was told once (about 40 years ago) that I have nice ears…..

  45. missy

    What a great day you had! Nothing like a sincere compliment to lift your spirits. I was told once (about 40 years ago) that I have nice ears…..

  46. Elaine at Lipstickdaily

    Aaah, I love this! He shouldn’t have said “breathtaking,” though . . . don’t you remember that Seinfeld episode about the baby?

  47. Elaine at Lipstickdaily

    Aaah, I love this! He shouldn’t have said “breathtaking,” though . . . don’t you remember that Seinfeld episode about the baby?

  48. Elaine at Lipstickdaily

    Aaah, I love this! He shouldn’t have said “breathtaking,” though . . . don’t you remember that Seinfeld episode about the baby?

  49. PAPA

    I want to meet Sam and give him a fist bump.
    You are beautiful for sure.
    Oh, and LPC’s comment rocks. I re-wrote it and put my name in there.

  50. PAPA

    I want to meet Sam and give him a fist bump.
    You are beautiful for sure.
    Oh, and LPC’s comment rocks. I re-wrote it and put my name in there.

  51. PAPA

    I want to meet Sam and give him a fist bump.
    You are beautiful for sure.
    Oh, and LPC’s comment rocks. I re-wrote it and put my name in there.

  52. Pseudo

    That is awesome 24. I have not had anything like that happen to me…wait…in never.
    If I was not married I’d be so single. No one has cast that kind of glance in my dierection in a long time.

  53. Pseudo

    That is awesome 24. I have not had anything like that happen to me…wait…in never.
    If I was not married I’d be so single. No one has cast that kind of glance in my dierection in a long time.

  54. Pseudo

    That is awesome 24. I have not had anything like that happen to me…wait…in never.
    If I was not married I’d be so single. No one has cast that kind of glance in my dierection in a long time.

  55. Sandra

    How sweet is he?!?! I heart him for saying that to you.
    Several years ago we had a subcontractor at my work building a wall for an office. He did drywall. He was hot. We noticed each other when I’d go pick up stuff from the printer. At lunch time I was down in the cafeteria when he walks up and hands me a note. He said “Excuse me, you dropped this.” He walked out. It was a note on a paper towel that said he thought I was a BABE and could he take me out for a drink. He left his phone number. I’d been picked up at my work!!! I did call him, thanked him for making my day and told him I was married. I also made sure to tell my husband so he’d know I was sought after! haha

  56. Sandra

    How sweet is he?!?! I heart him for saying that to you.
    Several years ago we had a subcontractor at my work building a wall for an office. He did drywall. He was hot. We noticed each other when I’d go pick up stuff from the printer. At lunch time I was down in the cafeteria when he walks up and hands me a note. He said “Excuse me, you dropped this.” He walked out. It was a note on a paper towel that said he thought I was a BABE and could he take me out for a drink. He left his phone number. I’d been picked up at my work!!! I did call him, thanked him for making my day and told him I was married. I also made sure to tell my husband so he’d know I was sought after! haha

  57. Sandra

    How sweet is he?!?! I heart him for saying that to you.
    Several years ago we had a subcontractor at my work building a wall for an office. He did drywall. He was hot. We noticed each other when I’d go pick up stuff from the printer. At lunch time I was down in the cafeteria when he walks up and hands me a note. He said “Excuse me, you dropped this.” He walked out. It was a note on a paper towel that said he thought I was a BABE and could he take me out for a drink. He left his phone number. I’d been picked up at my work!!! I did call him, thanked him for making my day and told him I was married. I also made sure to tell my husband so he’d know I was sought after! haha

  58. Stacey

    What a great story. I hope you felt gorgeous for the rest of the day.
    Not long ago a guy tried to pick me up with the line: “I’m sorry. I can’t stop staring. You’re just so beautiful.”

  59. Stacey

    What a great story. I hope you felt gorgeous for the rest of the day.
    Not long ago a guy tried to pick me up with the line: “I’m sorry. I can’t stop staring. You’re just so beautiful.”

  60. Stacey

    What a great story. I hope you felt gorgeous for the rest of the day.
    Not long ago a guy tried to pick me up with the line: “I’m sorry. I can’t stop staring. You’re just so beautiful.”

  61. Kristan

    AWW that’s awesome! How sweet. I hope he finds someone else since you’re already taken. He sounds like he deserves it.

  62. Kristan

    AWW that’s awesome! How sweet. I hope he finds someone else since you’re already taken. He sounds like he deserves it.

  63. Kristan

    AWW that’s awesome! How sweet. I hope he finds someone else since you’re already taken. He sounds like he deserves it.

  64. Jen

    Most recently, I was in the ambulance with a patient a cop was trying to convince to go to the hospital. Patient asked if the girl on the ambulance was pretty. Cop took a look at me and said “I’d hit that.” I was horrified, and it wasn’t even my turn to ride with the patient. I thought the cop was just being a pain, but all the guys at work swear he was hitting on me.

  65. Jen

    Most recently, I was in the ambulance with a patient a cop was trying to convince to go to the hospital. Patient asked if the girl on the ambulance was pretty. Cop took a look at me and said “I’d hit that.” I was horrified, and it wasn’t even my turn to ride with the patient. I thought the cop was just being a pain, but all the guys at work swear he was hitting on me.

  66. Jen

    Most recently, I was in the ambulance with a patient a cop was trying to convince to go to the hospital. Patient asked if the girl on the ambulance was pretty. Cop took a look at me and said “I’d hit that.” I was horrified, and it wasn’t even my turn to ride with the patient. I thought the cop was just being a pain, but all the guys at work swear he was hitting on me.

  67. stoneskin

    Crazy story, makes a great post, makes life interesting, and Sam was so gentle and shy too!

  68. stoneskin

    Crazy story, makes a great post, makes life interesting, and Sam was so gentle and shy too!

  69. stoneskin

    Crazy story, makes a great post, makes life interesting, and Sam was so gentle and shy too!

  70. Dutch Donut Girl

    Old, wrinkled, fat, and way past your prime? Yeah, right! Nobody believes that.
    The funniest pick-up line:
    “I was wondering if you want to be the mother of my firstborn child”

  71. Dutch Donut Girl

    Old, wrinkled, fat, and way past your prime? Yeah, right! Nobody believes that.
    The funniest pick-up line:
    “I was wondering if you want to be the mother of my firstborn child”

  72. Dutch Donut Girl

    Old, wrinkled, fat, and way past your prime? Yeah, right! Nobody believes that.
    The funniest pick-up line:
    “I was wondering if you want to be the mother of my firstborn child”

  73. jennster

    that is fucking awesome!!!! i am loving this whole story… especially when he sees you and runs away. LOL

  74. jennster

    that is fucking awesome!!!! i am loving this whole story… especially when he sees you and runs away. LOL

  75. jennster

    that is fucking awesome!!!! i am loving this whole story… especially when he sees you and runs away. LOL

  76. Helena

    Woohooo!!! You go girl!!!
    Funniest pick up line… “do you want to come to my place and look at my shark”. Jeeeeez!!!

  77. Helena

    Woohooo!!! You go girl!!!
    Funniest pick up line… “do you want to come to my place and look at my shark”. Jeeeeez!!!

  78. Helena

    Woohooo!!! You go girl!!!
    Funniest pick up line… “do you want to come to my place and look at my shark”. Jeeeeez!!!

  79. karen

    AWWW thats so sweet! I had a guy honk his horn while we were driving on I20 and when I looked over he had a paper on the window saying “You’r Cute!”

  80. karen

    AWWW thats so sweet! I had a guy honk his horn while we were driving on I20 and when I looked over he had a paper on the window saying “You’r Cute!”

  81. karen

    AWWW thats so sweet! I had a guy honk his horn while we were driving on I20 and when I looked over he had a paper on the window saying “You’r Cute!”

  82. Elaina

    That is sweet! And by the way, you’re not fat & old. Puh-lease.
    I don’t know that it was the funniest pick up line ever but last year on my birthday — after a long day working at a special event — my coworkers took me out to a bar. Someone, who shall remain nameless, who likes to get her single girlfriends/co-workers dates, started talking to a VERY young Marine (I lived in Marinetown, USA. You live in MoneyTown. I lived in MarineTown.) that was sitting across from us and told him it was my birthday. He’d been trying to flirt but you know…he was like 10 or more years younger than me! Anyway, he took that as an invitation and came over, got super close and said, “Let me show how good your birthday could be.” LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
    I died. So funny. He might as well have been 12 years old. I’m pretty sure I have a bra older than him somewhere around here. Ok, maybe not. But still. It was super funny. I hate my birthdays so that was entertaining! That was many pounds ago and pre-unemployment. I like to remember the good ol’ days. 😉

  83. Elaina

    That is sweet! And by the way, you’re not fat & old. Puh-lease.
    I don’t know that it was the funniest pick up line ever but last year on my birthday — after a long day working at a special event — my coworkers took me out to a bar. Someone, who shall remain nameless, who likes to get her single girlfriends/co-workers dates, started talking to a VERY young Marine (I lived in Marinetown, USA. You live in MoneyTown. I lived in MarineTown.) that was sitting across from us and told him it was my birthday. He’d been trying to flirt but you know…he was like 10 or more years younger than me! Anyway, he took that as an invitation and came over, got super close and said, “Let me show how good your birthday could be.” LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
    I died. So funny. He might as well have been 12 years old. I’m pretty sure I have a bra older than him somewhere around here. Ok, maybe not. But still. It was super funny. I hate my birthdays so that was entertaining! That was many pounds ago and pre-unemployment. I like to remember the good ol’ days. 😉

  84. Elaina

    That is sweet! And by the way, you’re not fat & old. Puh-lease.
    I don’t know that it was the funniest pick up line ever but last year on my birthday — after a long day working at a special event — my coworkers took me out to a bar. Someone, who shall remain nameless, who likes to get her single girlfriends/co-workers dates, started talking to a VERY young Marine (I lived in Marinetown, USA. You live in MoneyTown. I lived in MarineTown.) that was sitting across from us and told him it was my birthday. He’d been trying to flirt but you know…he was like 10 or more years younger than me! Anyway, he took that as an invitation and came over, got super close and said, “Let me show how good your birthday could be.” LOL!!!!!!!!!!!
    I died. So funny. He might as well have been 12 years old. I’m pretty sure I have a bra older than him somewhere around here. Ok, maybe not. But still. It was super funny. I hate my birthdays so that was entertaining! That was many pounds ago and pre-unemployment. I like to remember the good ol’ days. 😉

  85. Judy

    Oh my stars woman, you had me laughing from my toes! “I took his breath away and I wasn’t even sitting on his stomach?” ROFLMAO!
    Its amazing to know that whoever runs this universe knows EXACTLY when to orchestrate little moments like that for our pleasure.
    AWESOME.

  86. Judy

    Oh my stars woman, you had me laughing from my toes! “I took his breath away and I wasn’t even sitting on his stomach?” ROFLMAO!
    Its amazing to know that whoever runs this universe knows EXACTLY when to orchestrate little moments like that for our pleasure.
    AWESOME.

  87. Judy

    Oh my stars woman, you had me laughing from my toes! “I took his breath away and I wasn’t even sitting on his stomach?” ROFLMAO!
    Its amazing to know that whoever runs this universe knows EXACTLY when to orchestrate little moments like that for our pleasure.
    AWESOME.

  88. The Queen

    This was funny following it on twitter..it was even funnier here.. and.. gives me hope that someday.. somewhere.. I’ll get hit on..
    I always hated getting hit on..now.. in my 80’s.. I miss it..
    THE QUEEN

  89. The Queen

    This was funny following it on twitter..it was even funnier here.. and.. gives me hope that someday.. somewhere.. I’ll get hit on..
    I always hated getting hit on..now.. in my 80’s.. I miss it..
    THE QUEEN

  90. The Queen

    This was funny following it on twitter..it was even funnier here.. and.. gives me hope that someday.. somewhere.. I’ll get hit on..
    I always hated getting hit on..now.. in my 80’s.. I miss it..
    THE QUEEN

  91. Lori

    Now that took some guts and courage by Sam! I think it’s very sweet and should say a lot to you. You are beautiful and maybe you needed to be reminded of that fact!

  92. Lori

    Now that took some guts and courage by Sam! I think it’s very sweet and should say a lot to you. You are beautiful and maybe you needed to be reminded of that fact!

  93. Lori

    Now that took some guts and courage by Sam! I think it’s very sweet and should say a lot to you. You are beautiful and maybe you needed to be reminded of that fact!

  94. Amanda Dill

    Bwahaha! Too funny.
    Funniest ‘pick up line’ ever spewed forth for me:
    (Picture goofy, barely-eighteen blonde cutie pie): Hey…uh…you know what?
    (Me, fat, pregnant, pretty nearly spherical, wedged into a desk meant to accomodate a 12-year-old): What?
    (cutie pie): You’ve got like, perfect blow job lips.
    (me): …

  95. Amanda Dill

    Bwahaha! Too funny.
    Funniest ‘pick up line’ ever spewed forth for me:
    (Picture goofy, barely-eighteen blonde cutie pie): Hey…uh…you know what?
    (Me, fat, pregnant, pretty nearly spherical, wedged into a desk meant to accomodate a 12-year-old): What?
    (cutie pie): You’ve got like, perfect blow job lips.
    (me): …

  96. Amanda Dill

    Bwahaha! Too funny.
    Funniest ‘pick up line’ ever spewed forth for me:
    (Picture goofy, barely-eighteen blonde cutie pie): Hey…uh…you know what?
    (Me, fat, pregnant, pretty nearly spherical, wedged into a desk meant to accomodate a 12-year-old): What?
    (cutie pie): You’ve got like, perfect blow job lips.
    (me): …

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