My Dog is Leaking, And My Boobs Saved Me

Thank God we have a brick floor in our house.

IMG_0025

Our Chocolate Lab has sprung a leak.  Her name is Mocha, because she's a chocolate lab and we're real original with the dog names … or maybe not so much.  

Did you notice how she crosses her legs when she's just relaxing and hanging out?  She's so ladylike.  Mocha is the sweetest, most gentle dog you can imagine.  She and PR are best friends.  I've never seen a boy love a dog so much, and I've never seen a dog love a boy so much.

I kept seeing little drops of water on the brick floor yesterday.  I would normally blame my kids for … I don't know, walking around dripping something, but they weren't home.  Awhile later I found a puddle.  Finding a puddle in your house is never a good sign, not even when it's on an easy to clean up brick floor.

Mocha is six years old and completely house trained.  She never, ever, has accidents and hasn't since the week we brought her home.  Literally, she's leaking.  Liquid is just trailing out of her and besides the ewwww factor, there is also the WTF? factor.

Really, WTF?

It isn't pee (not even slightly yellow), it isn't crap … it looks just like water and there's no odor.  I can't locate where the leak is coming from other than the back half of her body.  I can't figure out what the leak is either.

Have any of you ever heard of a leaking dog?

Clearly I need to A) Keep her off the carpeted areas of the house and B) Get her to a vet as soon as possible.  Don't ask me how I'm going to pull off a vet visit on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend when every minute of my day is booked, but it's got to happen.

Because?  The dog is leaking!

I don't know what a trip to the vet costs where you live, but here in south OC we're lucky if we get out of the place for $400.  So then, there's that too.

But?  Leaking Dog!

On a positive note, and in totally unrelated news – thank God I have boobs!

I was running late the other day.  I might have been driving just a tad bit fast down a major thoroughfare.  I rounded a bend and said, "Oh shit!" as I slammed on my brakes.  Mr. Officer was right there in the shadows with his handy radar gun.

I think he was waiting for me, ya know what I mean?

Well, it just so happened I was wearing a relatively new shirt that day.  It's kind of a tealish blue and it's really pretty although, in hindsight, I don't think Mr. Officer cared at all what color it was.  And, um, it's very low cut.  I have big boobs.  In fact, I'm thinking about getting them made smaller but I'm a chicken shit so I probably won't.

Tangent:  Why would I get my tits made smaller?  Because they are not helping my arm and shoulder situation in the least … as my doctor has told me in no uncertain terms repeatedly.  Also?  My entire life people have seen nothing but my boobs.  People talk to my boobs all the time.  They forget there's a me attached to them.  It gets old.

In any case, Mr. Officer came over to my car (now pulled to the side of the road) to say hello.  Very friendly of him, wouldn't you say?

The thing is Mr. Officer had polarized sunglasses on and when he stood next to my window looking in at me I could see perfectly well he was getting an eyeful of cleavage.  I don't think Mr. Officer ever looked anywhere except at my cleavage as a matter of fact.

I told Mr. Officer I was so sorry, and I was just running a little late, and I may have – just possibly – crossed my arms under my breasts as I was talking.  The (purely unintentional!) act of arm crossing just may have possibly created even more cleavage.

The next thing I knew I was being reminded to drive safely and sent on my way without a ticket.

Ladies?  Never, ever, underestimate the power of cleavage!

P.S.  How many people would put a leaking dog and the power of cleavage into the very same post?

© Twenty Four At Heart

87 Responses to “My Dog is Leaking, And My Boobs Saved Me”

  1. Typ0

    I hope Mocha is going to be ok!! 🙁
    Boobs are always a good thing! 😀 And you know, the first five seconds men spend talking to them are kind of flattering. Its the ten minutes afterwards that are annoying. LOL

  2. Typ0

    I hope Mocha is going to be ok!! 🙁
    Boobs are always a good thing! 😀 And you know, the first five seconds men spend talking to them are kind of flattering. Its the ten minutes afterwards that are annoying. LOL

  3. Typ0

    I hope Mocha is going to be ok!! 🙁
    Boobs are always a good thing! 😀 And you know, the first five seconds men spend talking to them are kind of flattering. Its the ten minutes afterwards that are annoying. LOL

  4. Alan

    Man…I tell ya…you add you 2 and she gets all the breaks. You guys just hanging out, peeking through that blouse. I hate that you get away with EVERYTHING! WTF?!? And how does she repay you? By saying you’re too big?!? That’s crazy! You just come on over to my house. I’ll treat you right! And my wife would LOVE to have you over to try you on…
    Oh…hi Twenty-four! I didn’t realize you were still attached…

  5. Alan

    Man…I tell ya…you add you 2 and she gets all the breaks. You guys just hanging out, peeking through that blouse. I hate that you get away with EVERYTHING! WTF?!? And how does she repay you? By saying you’re too big?!? That’s crazy! You just come on over to my house. I’ll treat you right! And my wife would LOVE to have you over to try you on…
    Oh…hi Twenty-four! I didn’t realize you were still attached…

  6. Alan

    Man…I tell ya…you add you 2 and she gets all the breaks. You guys just hanging out, peeking through that blouse. I hate that you get away with EVERYTHING! WTF?!? And how does she repay you? By saying you’re too big?!? That’s crazy! You just come on over to my house. I’ll treat you right! And my wife would LOVE to have you over to try you on…
    Oh…hi Twenty-four! I didn’t realize you were still attached…

  7. Hallie

    Weird leaking dog story. Be thankful yours is not leaking out of the backend like both of my wieners have been. That has been MORE than unpleasant!!
    Hallie

  8. Hallie

    Weird leaking dog story. Be thankful yours is not leaking out of the backend like both of my wieners have been. That has been MORE than unpleasant!!
    Hallie

  9. Hallie

    Weird leaking dog story. Be thankful yours is not leaking out of the backend like both of my wieners have been. That has been MORE than unpleasant!!
    Hallie

  10. Deidre

    Aww, poor mocha, hope everything is a-okay with her…
    As one without much cleavage, I’ve never had The Ladies help me out of tight spot.

  11. Deidre

    Aww, poor mocha, hope everything is a-okay with her…
    As one without much cleavage, I’ve never had The Ladies help me out of tight spot.

  12. Deidre

    Aww, poor mocha, hope everything is a-okay with her…
    As one without much cleavage, I’ve never had The Ladies help me out of tight spot.

  13. Beth in Austin

    I think you are right on about getting Mocha to the Vet…I would say bladder infection…but no color or smell…hmmmmmmm.
    Kudos to cleavage! I always relied on tears, now I know…good booby shirt doesn’t hurt either ;-).

  14. Beth in Austin

    I think you are right on about getting Mocha to the Vet…I would say bladder infection…but no color or smell…hmmmmmmm.
    Kudos to cleavage! I always relied on tears, now I know…good booby shirt doesn’t hurt either ;-).

  15. Beth in Austin

    I think you are right on about getting Mocha to the Vet…I would say bladder infection…but no color or smell…hmmmmmmm.
    Kudos to cleavage! I always relied on tears, now I know…good booby shirt doesn’t hurt either ;-).

  16. Christine

    It doesn’t look or smell like urine? Well you didn’t tell me that! 🙂 That is odd. I wonder if she’s drinking more water than usual and it’s just super diluted…
    Hope you’re able to get an appointment squeezed in, both on the vet’s side and yours!

  17. Christine

    It doesn’t look or smell like urine? Well you didn’t tell me that! 🙂 That is odd. I wonder if she’s drinking more water than usual and it’s just super diluted…
    Hope you’re able to get an appointment squeezed in, both on the vet’s side and yours!

  18. Christine

    It doesn’t look or smell like urine? Well you didn’t tell me that! 🙂 That is odd. I wonder if she’s drinking more water than usual and it’s just super diluted…
    Hope you’re able to get an appointment squeezed in, both on the vet’s side and yours!

  19. Kelly

    Mocha is beautiful. Probably she has some type of UTI & the vet can fix her up quickly. Sweet story about PR and Mocha. As for the boobs? Men are so easy sometimes but I’m glad you didn’t get a ticket.

  20. Kelly

    Mocha is beautiful. Probably she has some type of UTI & the vet can fix her up quickly. Sweet story about PR and Mocha. As for the boobs? Men are so easy sometimes but I’m glad you didn’t get a ticket.

  21. Kelly

    Mocha is beautiful. Probably she has some type of UTI & the vet can fix her up quickly. Sweet story about PR and Mocha. As for the boobs? Men are so easy sometimes but I’m glad you didn’t get a ticket.

  22. wunderwoman

    I’m really gonna have to put mine to better use, what’s the use of having Triple D’s if you don’t use ’em? Off to buy low cut blouses!

  23. wunderwoman

    I’m really gonna have to put mine to better use, what’s the use of having Triple D’s if you don’t use ’em? Off to buy low cut blouses!

  24. wunderwoman

    I’m really gonna have to put mine to better use, what’s the use of having Triple D’s if you don’t use ’em? Off to buy low cut blouses!

  25. Jan

    Ah…your cryptic Tweets of last night are explained.
    I Googled “leaking dogs” and Mocha may have a mild incontinence problem. By all means, take her to the vet, because it could lead to an infection if it goes untreated.

  26. Jan

    Ah…your cryptic Tweets of last night are explained.
    I Googled “leaking dogs” and Mocha may have a mild incontinence problem. By all means, take her to the vet, because it could lead to an infection if it goes untreated.

  27. Jan

    Ah…your cryptic Tweets of last night are explained.
    I Googled “leaking dogs” and Mocha may have a mild incontinence problem. By all means, take her to the vet, because it could lead to an infection if it goes untreated.

  28. di

    I’ve done the same boob thing before and Hubby was in the passenger seat…. I had passed in a no passing zone and got caught…. Hubby just shook his head when the officer let me go with just a warning. HEY… I’m not using them as child feeders anymore… gotta use the old boobs for something, right?
    DI
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  29. di

    I’ve done the same boob thing before and Hubby was in the passenger seat…. I had passed in a no passing zone and got caught…. Hubby just shook his head when the officer let me go with just a warning. HEY… I’m not using them as child feeders anymore… gotta use the old boobs for something, right?
    DI
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  30. di

    I’ve done the same boob thing before and Hubby was in the passenger seat…. I had passed in a no passing zone and got caught…. Hubby just shook his head when the officer let me go with just a warning. HEY… I’m not using them as child feeders anymore… gotta use the old boobs for something, right?
    DI
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  31. Elaina

    Hope everything is okay with Mocha! She’s beautiful. I had a Lab (her name was Brinca) and she crossed her legs like that too. Cutest thing ever.

  32. Elaina

    Hope everything is okay with Mocha! She’s beautiful. I had a Lab (her name was Brinca) and she crossed her legs like that too. Cutest thing ever.

  33. Elaina

    Hope everything is okay with Mocha! She’s beautiful. I had a Lab (her name was Brinca) and she crossed her legs like that too. Cutest thing ever.

  34. Julie @ Angry Julie Monday

    Poor Mocha. I totally understand about the OC vet thing.
    The boob thing..we will chat. I got mine reducted in 2001. One of the best things I’ve ever done besides the teeth. I told ya..I’m the Real OC.
    The officer and boobs things…hilarious. you crack my shit up!

  35. Julie @ Angry Julie Monday

    Poor Mocha. I totally understand about the OC vet thing.
    The boob thing..we will chat. I got mine reducted in 2001. One of the best things I’ve ever done besides the teeth. I told ya..I’m the Real OC.
    The officer and boobs things…hilarious. you crack my shit up!

  36. Julie @ Angry Julie Monday

    Poor Mocha. I totally understand about the OC vet thing.
    The boob thing..we will chat. I got mine reducted in 2001. One of the best things I’ve ever done besides the teeth. I told ya..I’m the Real OC.
    The officer and boobs things…hilarious. you crack my shit up!

  37. dadshouse

    As a guy, what should I do if I get pulled over? Assuming the officer is a woman….
    Your story is straight from the movies.

  38. dadshouse

    As a guy, what should I do if I get pulled over? Assuming the officer is a woman….
    Your story is straight from the movies.

  39. dadshouse

    As a guy, what should I do if I get pulled over? Assuming the officer is a woman….
    Your story is straight from the movies.

  40. Bev

    My dog had a leaking problem and it was urine. She would be laying there all calm, get up to walk off and there would be the wetness. If it is a urine leak ask your doctor about Pro-in. It comes in 50 and 75 mgs. I give my dog (a large Weimie) 75 mgs. twice per day and she no longer leaks. Hope this helps!

  41. Bev

    My dog had a leaking problem and it was urine. She would be laying there all calm, get up to walk off and there would be the wetness. If it is a urine leak ask your doctor about Pro-in. It comes in 50 and 75 mgs. I give my dog (a large Weimie) 75 mgs. twice per day and she no longer leaks. Hope this helps!

  42. Bev

    My dog had a leaking problem and it was urine. She would be laying there all calm, get up to walk off and there would be the wetness. If it is a urine leak ask your doctor about Pro-in. It comes in 50 and 75 mgs. I give my dog (a large Weimie) 75 mgs. twice per day and she no longer leaks. Hope this helps!

  43. Suzy

    That’s really weird about the dog!
    I had a breast reduction in February of this year, and I love my new boobs! You should totally do it.

  44. Suzy

    That’s really weird about the dog!
    I had a breast reduction in February of this year, and I love my new boobs! You should totally do it.

  45. Suzy

    That’s really weird about the dog!
    I had a breast reduction in February of this year, and I love my new boobs! You should totally do it.

  46. Jason

    I’m sorry about Mocha. I hope it’s nothing! So cute.
    And I’m not sorry about your boobs. How the hell am I supposed to get out of a speeding ticket, I’d like to ask? It’s just not fair.

  47. Jason

    I’m sorry about Mocha. I hope it’s nothing! So cute.
    And I’m not sorry about your boobs. How the hell am I supposed to get out of a speeding ticket, I’d like to ask? It’s just not fair.

  48. Jason

    I’m sorry about Mocha. I hope it’s nothing! So cute.
    And I’m not sorry about your boobs. How the hell am I supposed to get out of a speeding ticket, I’d like to ask? It’s just not fair.

  49. BeautifulWreck

    I don’t know who would in the same post but you did it quite nicely.
    Hope your leaky dog gets fixed soon.

  50. BeautifulWreck

    I don’t know who would in the same post but you did it quite nicely.
    Hope your leaky dog gets fixed soon.

  51. BeautifulWreck

    I don’t know who would in the same post but you did it quite nicely.
    Hope your leaky dog gets fixed soon.

  52. Jane

    They need to invent a way for woman with extra to give to those without. Like “Locks of Love” but with boobs.

  53. Jane

    They need to invent a way for woman with extra to give to those without. Like “Locks of Love” but with boobs.

  54. Jane

    They need to invent a way for woman with extra to give to those without. Like “Locks of Love” but with boobs.

  55. Kaza

    Your dog is GORGEOUS! (Perfect name, by the way.) And on the boob thing? You’re making me re-think my dream to reduce to small Bs! I hadn’t thought of this benefit.

  56. Kaza

    Your dog is GORGEOUS! (Perfect name, by the way.) And on the boob thing? You’re making me re-think my dream to reduce to small Bs! I hadn’t thought of this benefit.

  57. Kaza

    Your dog is GORGEOUS! (Perfect name, by the way.) And on the boob thing? You’re making me re-think my dream to reduce to small Bs! I hadn’t thought of this benefit.

  58. Kaza

    OMG, I just saw Jane’s comment… dude, “Boobs of Love,” can you imagine it? You and I and @andreaj27 could start a charity!

  59. Kaza

    OMG, I just saw Jane’s comment… dude, “Boobs of Love,” can you imagine it? You and I and @andreaj27 could start a charity!

  60. Kaza

    OMG, I just saw Jane’s comment… dude, “Boobs of Love,” can you imagine it? You and I and @andreaj27 could start a charity!

  61. Judy

    Sorry about your pooch. Do you know yet what the ailment is?

  62. Judy

    Sorry about your pooch. Do you know yet what the ailment is?

  63. Judy

    Sorry about your pooch. Do you know yet what the ailment is?

  64. Fragrant Liar

    I’m speechless. You are incredibly versatile. And cleavage is the perfect weapon when you need to whip one out. 😉
    Well, not so speechless after all, right? But I’m most worried about Mocha. Although she doesn’t seem to be in any pain, if it were me, I’d be all kinds of embarrassed, running around with a leak. I already have that trouble when I jump.

  65. Fragrant Liar

    I’m speechless. You are incredibly versatile. And cleavage is the perfect weapon when you need to whip one out. 😉
    Well, not so speechless after all, right? But I’m most worried about Mocha. Although she doesn’t seem to be in any pain, if it were me, I’d be all kinds of embarrassed, running around with a leak. I already have that trouble when I jump.

  66. Fragrant Liar

    I’m speechless. You are incredibly versatile. And cleavage is the perfect weapon when you need to whip one out. 😉
    Well, not so speechless after all, right? But I’m most worried about Mocha. Although she doesn’t seem to be in any pain, if it were me, I’d be all kinds of embarrassed, running around with a leak. I already have that trouble when I jump.

  67. Jeanne P

    I got a breast reduction about 4 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. The pain will be nothing compared to what you have allready gone through! You wouldn’t regret it, I promise!
    Poor Mocha, can’t imagine what might be leaking, is she fixed?
    AS far as cleavage for cops? There are always push up bras for when your boobs are smaller!

  68. Jeanne P

    I got a breast reduction about 4 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. The pain will be nothing compared to what you have allready gone through! You wouldn’t regret it, I promise!
    Poor Mocha, can’t imagine what might be leaking, is she fixed?
    AS far as cleavage for cops? There are always push up bras for when your boobs are smaller!

  69. Jeanne P

    I got a breast reduction about 4 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. The pain will be nothing compared to what you have allready gone through! You wouldn’t regret it, I promise!
    Poor Mocha, can’t imagine what might be leaking, is she fixed?
    AS far as cleavage for cops? There are always push up bras for when your boobs are smaller!

  70. Pseudo

    My prediction was you slipped on the leak and your boobs saved your face in the fall.
    Love your brick floor BTW

  71. Pseudo

    My prediction was you slipped on the leak and your boobs saved your face in the fall.
    Love your brick floor BTW

  72. Pseudo

    My prediction was you slipped on the leak and your boobs saved your face in the fall.
    Love your brick floor BTW

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