Every time I think I've seen the worst Orange County has to offer I meet a new obnoxious person to tell you about. Honestly, there are nice people here too … really, there are.
About a week ago I attended a lunch "event" put on by one of my girlfriends. My friend is nice, warm and down to earth. She's gotten involved in an organization and blah, blah, blah. Before she knew it, a luncheon was planned with her as the hostess. She invited me to join in and
in a moment of sheer insanity I agreed.
I am NOT a luncheon type woman. Being at a luncheon requires girly clothes and good behavior. Both are an uncomfortable stretch for me.
There were fifteen women present and we were seated at three circular tables of five. I knew no one at the event except for my friend who was busy with her hostess duties. I was seated at a table with four total strangers.
Socializing with strangers is not my forte.
Immediately Ms. Warm began chatting with me and she seemed very nice. I instantly could tell she is a good person. It turns out she's actually read Twenty Four At Heart before and left an occasional comment under a pseudonym. It's a small world sometimes.
The last person to be seated at our table immediately repelled me. She was loud, abrasive, and from the moment she entered the room all I heard coming out of her mouth was me, me, me. I noticed Ms. Warm cringe slightly when she realized Ms. Me would be sitting with us. Apparently, Ms. Me and Ms. Warm had met before.
I never knew a lunch could be so long. Ms. Me apparently is a celebrity. Personally, I think she should move to L.A. with all the other wannabes. Her notoriety is derived from a few parts as an "extra" over the years and being in the background of a TV commercial. Not exactly a celebrity in my book, but in her own mind she is a STAR.
I know this, because she told me so. Over, and over, and over again.
Name dropping is a profession in L.A., and a time consuming hobby for many in Orange County. Ms. Me took her name dropping very seriously. She "knows" everyone, but more importantly they know her. She name dropped incessantly, but it was always about how [insert name of Famous Person] just adores her. Five minutes into our (very one-sided) conversation I felt like putting a gun to my head in an attempt to never have to hear another word out of her mouth.
The other women at the table all attempted to steer the conversation to other subjects, but Ms. Me made it virtually impossible. I asked one woman if she had any kids and what their ages were and Ms. Me cut her off mid-sentence to tell me about her family. No matter how we tried, Ms. Me managed to monopolize the conversation for two full hours. By the end of the afternoon everyone at the table looked glassy-eyed and worn down from being subjected to her relentless chatter.
I did have my own personal Bitch Moment. I couldn't resist. Towards the end of the afternoon she made the mistake of name dropping the wrong person … my cousin, in fact. (My cousin is a Hollywood Type.) According to Ms. Me, my cousin is star struck by Ms. Me. I didn't believe
any most of what Ms. Me said anyway, but I knew damn well she's never met my cousin.
So . . . I called her on it. I had long before given up any attempt to inject anything into the conversation, but at that point I couldn't resist a little name dropping of my own.
"Oh, you know XXXXX?
Ms. Me answered, "Oh of course, she's very interested in working with me but it just hasn't happened yet."
"Well, isn't that funny? She's my cousin. I'll have to bring up your name next time I see her."
Ms. Me went as white as a ghost, pursed her lips and broke eye contact. She sputtered something about not having seen XXXXX (my cousin) "in quite some time."
Watching her hem and haw and react like that? Well, that was the highlight of the entire afternoon for me. I'm a bitch, I know.
Why? Why do some people feel such a strong need to impress others? She did not impress any of us in the least. In fact, I was so appalled by her I will do my best to never encounter Ms. Me again.