My Nipples Are Causing Problems

I've got bionic nipples.

It's the weirdest thing.  I went in for breast reduction surgery and I came out with bionic nipples.

My nipples are uber-sensitive.  My nipples have a direct, and very electric, connection to my lady parts.  (Remember when I lost my clit?  Well, no need for alarm, because it's definitely back where it belongs.)

Some of you may think this is a wonderful, positive, development in my life.  Having bionic nipples is tougher than you might think though.  It's not good when you don't have control over your own body.

Especially since, did I mention … um, I'm not allowed to have sex for several weeks.  Doctors orders.  No sex under any circumstances.   

Let me repeat that, I have bionic nipples and I can't have sex.  Not even with my friend Rabbit.  There are medical reasons for this, but I'm not going to bore you with them.

Now that I'm getting out and about a little, my nipples are causing all sorts of problems.

The other night Briefcase and I went out to dinner at Charlie Palmer with Briefcase's boss, Mr. CEO.  It's very hard to find something to wear to a nice restaurant that looks good with a sports bra and protruding nipples.  Mr. CEO doesn't know about my surgery and, of course, he wanted to hug me.  I've never realized how often people hug in our society until it become painful to do so.

In any case, Mr. CEO leaned in and gave me a hug.  I tried to concave my entire chest so he wouldn't hurt me.  It worked pretty well, except his arm accidentally brushed across my breasts as we moved apart.  Well, I nearly had an orgasm right there, fully dressed, with Mr. CEO and Briefcase dressed in suit and ties.  I bit my lip, fanned myself off a little bit, and tried to distract myself with visions of Mr. CEO firing Briefcase on the spot for having an out of control wife.

Briefcase's eyes met mine and lingered for a few seconds too long.  I'm not sure if he was simply intrigued with what he saw when he looked in my eyes, or if he was scared shitless his boss just gave me an orgasm out in public.

Bionic nipples, combined with no sex for weeks, are really a bad thing.

My biggest fear is that I'll turn into The Moaner.  And dear Gawd, if that happens I'll have to go into hiding.

Last night I attended an Orange County bloggers event.  It was held at the Irvine Spectrum.  This is the second time I've attended a meet-up with these very nice folks.  Several of them read Twenty Four At Heart and they were quite thoughtful in asking how I'm feeling and inquiring about my recovery.  I'm still not feeling 100% so I didn't stay too long, but it was nice to stop by for awhile.

The problem occurred when I went to leave.  I had parked in the Nordstrom lot and walked to the restaurant where we were meeting.  As I returned to my car, I entered Nordstrom with the idea of cutting through the store to the parking lot.  Right as I entered the store, there was a big group of hot, twenty-something men walking out.  I somehow got caught in the middle of their group.

Damn!

And I say that in both a very, very good way … and also, in a very, very bad way!

As I tried to extract myself from the middle of their group, I got jostled against a couple very (sigh) firm chests.  Did I mention these guys were hot?  As in, I all of a sudden had trouble catching my breath, hawt?  And when one of them admonished his buddy, "Be careful of her!" and tried to help me by reaching across to grab my arm, but in the process brushing against my nipple … 

Because my nipples are very out there lately, and everyone seems to be brushing against them, did I mention that?

And then … and then, I positively came undone right there in Nordstroms with all those hot guys surrounding me.  It was nearly too much to handle.

So you can see, this is a problem!

I did talk to someone at the meeting last night who used to work in a plastic surgeon's office.  We discussed this little … side effect … some women experience from reduction surgery.  She said things should calm down a little in time.

In the meantime, what do I do?  I can't go into hiding.  Every day that goes by I'm regaining more and more of my strength.  I'm getting back to my real life and real activities.  I'm having nightmares of orgasms at the grocery store.  I'm afraid I'm going to publicly embarrass myself.  

Oh wait, I do that all the time anyway, don't I?  (Publicly embarrass myself, not have orgasms at the grocery store!)

Honestly?  I'd tape my nipples down if I could.  My nipples, however, are still all taped up with surgical tape and I don't dare change anything until I see the doctor again.

What's a girl to do?

© Twenty Four At Heart

78 Responses to “My Nipples Are Causing Problems”

  1. Michelle

    Oh, you poor darling!
    Maybe when in public you could blame ‘change of life’? 🙂

  2. Michelle

    Oh, you poor darling!
    Maybe when in public you could blame ‘change of life’? 🙂

  3. Michelle

    Oh, you poor darling!
    Maybe when in public you could blame ‘change of life’? 🙂

  4. Jan

    No sex? NO SEX???? Egads!
    Can you check into a convent during your recovery?

  5. Jan

    No sex? NO SEX???? Egads!
    Can you check into a convent during your recovery?

  6. Jan

    No sex? NO SEX???? Egads!
    Can you check into a convent during your recovery?

  7. Joanne

    we will have to get a new T shirt made for you girlie! “drugs, not hugs”

  8. Joanne

    we will have to get a new T shirt made for you girlie! “drugs, not hugs”

  9. Joanne

    we will have to get a new T shirt made for you girlie! “drugs, not hugs”

  10. Maureen at IslandRoar

    I had a similar problem the last trimesters of my pregnancies. Just a mere touch could do the trick. Believe it or not, I look back now nostalgically. It probably won’t last forever, so maybe just enjoy????
    And I watched that video Jan suggested.
    OMG soooo FUNNY!!

  11. Maureen at IslandRoar

    I had a similar problem the last trimesters of my pregnancies. Just a mere touch could do the trick. Believe it or not, I look back now nostalgically. It probably won’t last forever, so maybe just enjoy????
    And I watched that video Jan suggested.
    OMG soooo FUNNY!!

  12. Maureen at IslandRoar

    I had a similar problem the last trimesters of my pregnancies. Just a mere touch could do the trick. Believe it or not, I look back now nostalgically. It probably won’t last forever, so maybe just enjoy????
    And I watched that video Jan suggested.
    OMG soooo FUNNY!!

  13. Kelly

    ha ha ha ha! So sorry. Don’t mean to laugh at your *ahem* problem. Ha ha ha! snicker, snort, guffaw!

  14. Kelly

    ha ha ha ha! So sorry. Don’t mean to laugh at your *ahem* problem. Ha ha ha! snicker, snort, guffaw!

  15. Kelly

    ha ha ha ha! So sorry. Don’t mean to laugh at your *ahem* problem. Ha ha ha! snicker, snort, guffaw!

  16. Linda

    LOL! My first thought when I read the title “this is new?”! Then the infamous Meg Ryan scene in “When Harry met Sally”. THEN I watched Alan’s video! OMG! LMAO! I almost peed my pants! All I can say is if you can’t have sex, at least you can have orgasm. Count your blessings:)

  17. Linda

    LOL! My first thought when I read the title “this is new?”! Then the infamous Meg Ryan scene in “When Harry met Sally”. THEN I watched Alan’s video! OMG! LMAO! I almost peed my pants! All I can say is if you can’t have sex, at least you can have orgasm. Count your blessings:)

  18. Linda

    LOL! My first thought when I read the title “this is new?”! Then the infamous Meg Ryan scene in “When Harry met Sally”. THEN I watched Alan’s video! OMG! LMAO! I almost peed my pants! All I can say is if you can’t have sex, at least you can have orgasm. Count your blessings:)

  19. tonya cinnamon

    well LOL enjoy your free orgasms till you can have teh sex 😀
    hell who wouldnt want to be jostled by hot men ^__^..me me me
    seriously take it for all its worth… grin go torchure the torcherer 😀

  20. tonya cinnamon

    well LOL enjoy your free orgasms till you can have teh sex 😀
    hell who wouldnt want to be jostled by hot men ^__^..me me me
    seriously take it for all its worth… grin go torchure the torcherer 😀

  21. tonya cinnamon

    well LOL enjoy your free orgasms till you can have teh sex 😀
    hell who wouldnt want to be jostled by hot men ^__^..me me me
    seriously take it for all its worth… grin go torchure the torcherer 😀

  22. Mike

    Want to meet for coffee? (sorry Briefcase, just joking I couldn’t resist!)

  23. Mike

    Want to meet for coffee? (sorry Briefcase, just joking I couldn’t resist!)

  24. Mike

    Want to meet for coffee? (sorry Briefcase, just joking I couldn’t resist!)

  25. Lynette

    I dunno…I had a reduction quite a while ago and I still gots the uber-sensitive nips..
    I’m looking for a slightly more padded bra…not EXTRA PADDING…I still have enough to fill the cups..just cut down on the high beams, accidental touches and such… LOL

  26. Lynette

    I dunno…I had a reduction quite a while ago and I still gots the uber-sensitive nips..
    I’m looking for a slightly more padded bra…not EXTRA PADDING…I still have enough to fill the cups..just cut down on the high beams, accidental touches and such… LOL

  27. Lynette

    I dunno…I had a reduction quite a while ago and I still gots the uber-sensitive nips..
    I’m looking for a slightly more padded bra…not EXTRA PADDING…I still have enough to fill the cups..just cut down on the high beams, accidental touches and such… LOL

  28. Pseudo

    You could loan them to me. I’ll make good use out of them until you wantthem back.

  29. Pseudo

    You could loan them to me. I’ll make good use out of them until you wantthem back.

  30. Pseudo

    You could loan them to me. I’ll make good use out of them until you wantthem back.

  31. jeani vance

    Dear 24, I also had BR surgery about 9 years ago and had the exact same issue with my nipples! My plastic surgeon suggested that I take gauze and rub it against them several times a day to ‘fine tune’ them to just the right amount of sensitivity. That did the trick. Oh, and don’t overdue it, because I can tell you from a girl with a fantastic sex life, that my husband loves the responsiveness of the nipples. They have definitely NOT tamed down over time and HE. LOVES. THEM!

  32. jeani vance

    Dear 24, I also had BR surgery about 9 years ago and had the exact same issue with my nipples! My plastic surgeon suggested that I take gauze and rub it against them several times a day to ‘fine tune’ them to just the right amount of sensitivity. That did the trick. Oh, and don’t overdue it, because I can tell you from a girl with a fantastic sex life, that my husband loves the responsiveness of the nipples. They have definitely NOT tamed down over time and HE. LOVES. THEM!

  33. jeani vance

    Dear 24, I also had BR surgery about 9 years ago and had the exact same issue with my nipples! My plastic surgeon suggested that I take gauze and rub it against them several times a day to ‘fine tune’ them to just the right amount of sensitivity. That did the trick. Oh, and don’t overdue it, because I can tell you from a girl with a fantastic sex life, that my husband loves the responsiveness of the nipples. They have definitely NOT tamed down over time and HE. LOVES. THEM!

  34. Tracy Davis

    LOL you’ll get used to it. I have had this problem my whole .. well. . boobaliscious life. You will adjust and you know what… it really isn’t all bad when ya get use to it 😉

  35. Tracy Davis

    LOL you’ll get used to it. I have had this problem my whole .. well. . boobaliscious life. You will adjust and you know what… it really isn’t all bad when ya get use to it 😉

  36. Tracy Davis

    LOL you’ll get used to it. I have had this problem my whole .. well. . boobaliscious life. You will adjust and you know what… it really isn’t all bad when ya get use to it 😉

  37. Beautiful Wreck

    No sex. I am dying to know why. I mean why? I will not be bored with the answer. I had sex three weeks after having a csection. No sex! I would die.
    This would be a serious problem for me, not sure how you are dealing with this.
    And no rabbit either…

  38. Beautiful Wreck

    No sex. I am dying to know why. I mean why? I will not be bored with the answer. I had sex three weeks after having a csection. No sex! I would die.
    This would be a serious problem for me, not sure how you are dealing with this.
    And no rabbit either…

  39. Beautiful Wreck

    No sex. I am dying to know why. I mean why? I will not be bored with the answer. I had sex three weeks after having a csection. No sex! I would die.
    This would be a serious problem for me, not sure how you are dealing with this.
    And no rabbit either…

  40. Jason

    Shut up! I had no idea this sort of thing happened to women. I just don’t know what to say, except, you just keep outdoing yourself, Suzanne!!!

  41. Jason

    Shut up! I had no idea this sort of thing happened to women. I just don’t know what to say, except, you just keep outdoing yourself, Suzanne!!!

  42. Jason

    Shut up! I had no idea this sort of thing happened to women. I just don’t know what to say, except, you just keep outdoing yourself, Suzanne!!!

  43. Jane

    I just read the Lost Clit story and L’d MAO. Too freakin’ funny. As to your current dilemma, seriously? How much FUN is that??? A tease that lasts WEEKS? You will be so ready when that time comes!
    p.s. I’m totally TheMoaner.

  44. Jane

    I just read the Lost Clit story and L’d MAO. Too freakin’ funny. As to your current dilemma, seriously? How much FUN is that??? A tease that lasts WEEKS? You will be so ready when that time comes!
    p.s. I’m totally TheMoaner.

  45. Jane

    I just read the Lost Clit story and L’d MAO. Too freakin’ funny. As to your current dilemma, seriously? How much FUN is that??? A tease that lasts WEEKS? You will be so ready when that time comes!
    p.s. I’m totally TheMoaner.

  46. Jane

    Not THE moaner. Or a cougar. Just a really really enthusiastic partner. 🙂

  47. Jane

    Not THE moaner. Or a cougar. Just a really really enthusiastic partner. 🙂

  48. Jane

    Not THE moaner. Or a cougar. Just a really really enthusiastic partner. 🙂

  49. Christopher

    With all the honesty that is a constant presence in your writing, I hope you won’t mind this:
    Back in my carefree bachelor days, I had a girlfriend who had a reduction. She was also under a no-sex rule, but she was able to accept oral gratification without discomfort. I hope this is an option for you.
    (She couldn’t reciprocate without pain, but that was OK.)

  50. Christopher

    With all the honesty that is a constant presence in your writing, I hope you won’t mind this:
    Back in my carefree bachelor days, I had a girlfriend who had a reduction. She was also under a no-sex rule, but she was able to accept oral gratification without discomfort. I hope this is an option for you.
    (She couldn’t reciprocate without pain, but that was OK.)

  51. Christopher

    With all the honesty that is a constant presence in your writing, I hope you won’t mind this:
    Back in my carefree bachelor days, I had a girlfriend who had a reduction. She was also under a no-sex rule, but she was able to accept oral gratification without discomfort. I hope this is an option for you.
    (She couldn’t reciprocate without pain, but that was OK.)

×

Comments are closed.