Get Ready, Get Set

Thank you, everyone, for all your support yesterday.  Thank you also for the ongoing encouragement with my accident recovery since I began writing Twenty Four At Heart just over a year ago.  I was surprised, and flattered, that the Orange County Register picked up and linked to yesterday's post here

I'm leaving in the early hours tomorrow (Saturday) for a long awaited vacation.  My son is getting ready to leave for college and we really wanted some family time before he moves 3,000 miles away.  

I will try to have posts for you M-F while I'm traveling, but I might miss a day here and there.  I hope you'll be patient.  I won't be able to be quite as glued to my laptop as I usually am.  (I wouldn't want Briefcase to get frustrated with my inattention and throw my laptop in the ocean or something horrible like that.)  I'll also be on Twitter if I have time.

* I may not be able to get back to people on email, etc. while I'm gone.  I hope you'll understand. *

I think you're really going to enjoy traveling with me on this trip via the Internet.  I hope to share some beautiful sights and wonderful adventures with you.

I did want to share with you a quick Orange County story before I go.  This week, along with all my other craziness, I needed to go visit my plastic surgeon for a boob check.  I know I have a few new readers so let me take a minute to explain.  My shoulder surgeon felt a breast reduction was critical to helping me regain use of my arm.  My chest and upper back muscles were adversely affected in the accident.  The extra weight of large breasts has been hampering my progress.  About seven weeks ago I had my DD breasts reduced to C's.  My appointment this week was a follow-up to that surgery.

My plastic surgeon (and I'm assuming all plastic surgeons) takes BEFORE and AFTER photos.  I haven't yet had my "after" photos taken because my breasts are still healing.  I've gotten very friendly with the ladies who work in the surgeon's office.  They're all very nice and I'm not just saying that because they're reading this.

In any case, whenever I'm in the office I spend a few minutes with the doctor and maybe an hour chatting with his staff because we've bonded and I love them and I never want to stop socializing with them.  So there I stood talking with a few of these women this week when Ms. BigBoobs walked in.  No, let me phrase that differently.  Ms. BigBoobs stormed in!

I used to have BigBoobs, right?  I'm not knocking her knockers.  I'm just saying when she walked into the room it was difficult to notice anything about her except her boobs.  They were very prominent.  They filled the room all by themselves.  Also?  She had on a very tight, low-cut top.  It's sort of like The Orange County Uniform with the Money Town women.

It was instantly clear Ms. BigBoobs was very upset and about to cause a scene.  I should have left.  There was no reason for me to stay.  My appointment had ended an hour before.  Of course, the minute I saw her I was riveted.  

"My boobs aren't any bigger!" she announced loudly.  At the very same time she said this she slammed her purse down on the counter loudly.  

The receptionist looked up, startled, right into Ms. BigBoobs boobs.  Her eyebrows instantly raised incredulously.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"My boobs are the exact same size as they were before my surgery," Ms. BigBoobs said angrily.

I looked at her boobs.  I cocked my head sideways to get a better look.  She caught me staring and glared at me.

I may have snickered.

The office manager quickly intervened.

She explained to Ms. BigBoobs that, in fact, her breasts were much larger now.  Apparently Ms. BigBoobs was the recipient of 300cc breast implants.  I'm not sure what that means, but I think that means BIG.

Ms. BigBoobs didn't believe the office manager and continued to cause quite a scene.  The office manager brought out Ms. BigBoobs file and pulled out her "before" pictures.  She set the photos on the counter in front of Ms. BigBoobs.

I was standing close enough to see.  Ms. BigBoobs used to be Ms. LittleBoobs.  How could she possibly think there was no change as a result of her surgery?

"I don't think that's even me!" she screeched when she saw the first photo which was taken from a side view.  

The office manager set down a second photo and then a third.  In both of the photos Ms. BigBoobs face was visible right along with her very small boobs.

The room became silent.

Ms. BigBoobs stared at the photo of herself in shock.  It was as if someone had just revealed her true identity to her.  Her mouth, literally, hung open as reality sunk in.

Then she looked up.  She looked around at everyone staring at her.  Her face flushed in embarrassment.  She grabbed her purse and stormed right out of the office in almost the same manner she had stormed in.

© Twenty Four At Heart

72 Responses to “Get Ready, Get Set”

  1. Jan

    Hmmmm…Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, is it?
    Have fun in Hawaii, hon!

  2. Jan

    Hmmmm…Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, is it?
    Have fun in Hawaii, hon!

  3. Jan

    Hmmmm…Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, is it?
    Have fun in Hawaii, hon!

  4. Joanne

    you forgot the end of the story?? “then we all laughed til we peed ourselves”??

  5. Joanne

    you forgot the end of the story?? “then we all laughed til we peed ourselves”??

  6. Joanne

    you forgot the end of the story?? “then we all laughed til we peed ourselves”??

  7. Celeste Maia

    Have a great vacation! Your story of MsBigBoobs is so crazy, that I thought immediately “…only in America…” But then I want to apologize, it probably could take place anywhere, right? Could it?

  8. Celeste Maia

    Have a great vacation! Your story of MsBigBoobs is so crazy, that I thought immediately “…only in America…” But then I want to apologize, it probably could take place anywhere, right? Could it?

  9. Celeste Maia

    Have a great vacation! Your story of MsBigBoobs is so crazy, that I thought immediately “…only in America…” But then I want to apologize, it probably could take place anywhere, right? Could it?

  10. Deidre

    Have a lovely vacation! Sun screen!
    Ms. BigBoobs, wow. I got a new bra and I like to pretend it makes me have big boobs (you know like a full a-cup). le sigh.
    also I missed commenting on your post yesterday and I just wanted to say you are so very brave!

  11. Deidre

    Have a lovely vacation! Sun screen!
    Ms. BigBoobs, wow. I got a new bra and I like to pretend it makes me have big boobs (you know like a full a-cup). le sigh.
    also I missed commenting on your post yesterday and I just wanted to say you are so very brave!

  12. Deidre

    Have a lovely vacation! Sun screen!
    Ms. BigBoobs, wow. I got a new bra and I like to pretend it makes me have big boobs (you know like a full a-cup). le sigh.
    also I missed commenting on your post yesterday and I just wanted to say you are so very brave!

  13. Donna in VA

    I’m telling you. . . people’s perception of themselves can really be distorted – in a variety of ways.
    Two nights ago, while I was looking for a specific photo, I came across a picture of me taken with a group of neighbor women probably about 15 years ago. I remember specifically how I felt like the fattest cow when that picture was taken, and when I SAW the picture, I thought it was hideous. Then two nights ago, it was like I was looking at it with new eyes. I WAS HOT! What the hell was wrong with me back then?
    And what the hell is wrong with BigBoob’s self-image? Self perceptions can get so distorted. It’s really ashamed.

  14. Donna in VA

    I’m telling you. . . people’s perception of themselves can really be distorted – in a variety of ways.
    Two nights ago, while I was looking for a specific photo, I came across a picture of me taken with a group of neighbor women probably about 15 years ago. I remember specifically how I felt like the fattest cow when that picture was taken, and when I SAW the picture, I thought it was hideous. Then two nights ago, it was like I was looking at it with new eyes. I WAS HOT! What the hell was wrong with me back then?
    And what the hell is wrong with BigBoob’s self-image? Self perceptions can get so distorted. It’s really ashamed.

  15. Donna in VA

    I’m telling you. . . people’s perception of themselves can really be distorted – in a variety of ways.
    Two nights ago, while I was looking for a specific photo, I came across a picture of me taken with a group of neighbor women probably about 15 years ago. I remember specifically how I felt like the fattest cow when that picture was taken, and when I SAW the picture, I thought it was hideous. Then two nights ago, it was like I was looking at it with new eyes. I WAS HOT! What the hell was wrong with me back then?
    And what the hell is wrong with BigBoob’s self-image? Self perceptions can get so distorted. It’s really ashamed.

  16. Alan

    HAHAHAHAHA! What an idiot. Have fun on your vaca! We’ll miss you until you return! But I got a feeling there will be lots of awesome pictures when you get back…

  17. Alan

    HAHAHAHAHA! What an idiot. Have fun on your vaca! We’ll miss you until you return! But I got a feeling there will be lots of awesome pictures when you get back…

  18. Alan

    HAHAHAHAHA! What an idiot. Have fun on your vaca! We’ll miss you until you return! But I got a feeling there will be lots of awesome pictures when you get back…

  19. Middle-Aged-Woman

    A true blogger NEVER walks away from an oncoming storm like that. Kudos to the office team for not laughing in her face and calling her a bimbo!

  20. Middle-Aged-Woman

    A true blogger NEVER walks away from an oncoming storm like that. Kudos to the office team for not laughing in her face and calling her a bimbo!

  21. Middle-Aged-Woman

    A true blogger NEVER walks away from an oncoming storm like that. Kudos to the office team for not laughing in her face and calling her a bimbo!

  22. Sandi

    How come I never see all this great stuff? I just want to spend a day with you in Money town so I laugh my ass off with you.

  23. Sandi

    How come I never see all this great stuff? I just want to spend a day with you in Money town so I laugh my ass off with you.

  24. Sandi

    How come I never see all this great stuff? I just want to spend a day with you in Money town so I laugh my ass off with you.

  25. Liz C

    There’s a name for that disorder when someone’s body image is all screwed up… dysmorphia? Sounds like Ms BigBoobs didn’t know she used to have LittleBoobs. I wish I thought I had BigBoobs. I don’t really want ’em, but I wish I thought I had ’em.
    Erm.. anyway, have a lovely vacation, and congrats on fighting your way through a life-altering transition. You win!!

  26. Liz C

    There’s a name for that disorder when someone’s body image is all screwed up… dysmorphia? Sounds like Ms BigBoobs didn’t know she used to have LittleBoobs. I wish I thought I had BigBoobs. I don’t really want ’em, but I wish I thought I had ’em.
    Erm.. anyway, have a lovely vacation, and congrats on fighting your way through a life-altering transition. You win!!

  27. Liz C

    There’s a name for that disorder when someone’s body image is all screwed up… dysmorphia? Sounds like Ms BigBoobs didn’t know she used to have LittleBoobs. I wish I thought I had BigBoobs. I don’t really want ’em, but I wish I thought I had ’em.
    Erm.. anyway, have a lovely vacation, and congrats on fighting your way through a life-altering transition. You win!!

  28. Lynette

    AHAHA.. perhaps she blocked out the image of her little boobs. Only in the O.C….or maybe B.H.

  29. Lynette

    AHAHA.. perhaps she blocked out the image of her little boobs. Only in the O.C….or maybe B.H.

  30. Lynette

    AHAHA.. perhaps she blocked out the image of her little boobs. Only in the O.C….or maybe B.H.

  31. LPC

    Does outrageous behavior just follow you around like a naughty elf? Don’t get me wrong. I thank you for attracting it all and telling the stories here for the rest of us to laugh at.

  32. LPC

    Does outrageous behavior just follow you around like a naughty elf? Don’t get me wrong. I thank you for attracting it all and telling the stories here for the rest of us to laugh at.

  33. LPC

    Does outrageous behavior just follow you around like a naughty elf? Don’t get me wrong. I thank you for attracting it all and telling the stories here for the rest of us to laugh at.

  34. The Queen of Chaos

    Oh. My. GOSH!! That’s hysterical. Only thing I would have added to the post was VIDEO of this encounter!!
    Enjoy the vacation!

  35. The Queen of Chaos

    Oh. My. GOSH!! That’s hysterical. Only thing I would have added to the post was VIDEO of this encounter!!
    Enjoy the vacation!

  36. The Queen of Chaos

    Oh. My. GOSH!! That’s hysterical. Only thing I would have added to the post was VIDEO of this encounter!!
    Enjoy the vacation!

  37. Linda T

    W O W poor thing. How stupid and unhappy is she?

  38. Linda T

    W O W poor thing. How stupid and unhappy is she?

  39. Linda T

    W O W poor thing. How stupid and unhappy is she?

  40. Cate

    Oh …my…goodness….
    Maybe, just maybe, one day that’ll be me saying I’ve lost no weight, and then they’ll pull out the photos that show how huge I was before….
    Ok, so I’m dreaming – but I’m sorry – toooo funny, and you wrote the story up for us brilliantly.
    Have a great holiday!

  41. Cate

    Oh …my…goodness….
    Maybe, just maybe, one day that’ll be me saying I’ve lost no weight, and then they’ll pull out the photos that show how huge I was before….
    Ok, so I’m dreaming – but I’m sorry – toooo funny, and you wrote the story up for us brilliantly.
    Have a great holiday!

  42. Cate

    Oh …my…goodness….
    Maybe, just maybe, one day that’ll be me saying I’ve lost no weight, and then they’ll pull out the photos that show how huge I was before….
    Ok, so I’m dreaming – but I’m sorry – toooo funny, and you wrote the story up for us brilliantly.
    Have a great holiday!

  43. Kari-Mel

    Have a fabulous time on vacation! I wish I could hide in your suitcase and go with you but I know family time is so very important.
    Your little story about bigboobs cracked me the hell up!

  44. Kari-Mel

    Have a fabulous time on vacation! I wish I could hide in your suitcase and go with you but I know family time is so very important.
    Your little story about bigboobs cracked me the hell up!

  45. Kari-Mel

    Have a fabulous time on vacation! I wish I could hide in your suitcase and go with you but I know family time is so very important.
    Your little story about bigboobs cracked me the hell up!

  46. sometimessophia

    Dysmorphia… that’s new to me. The anger response is what saddens me. You would think she’d have needed a bigger bra size, which might have tipped her off that her breasts were larger. … unless she’d stuffed her cups with socks. 🙂

  47. sometimessophia

    Dysmorphia… that’s new to me. The anger response is what saddens me. You would think she’d have needed a bigger bra size, which might have tipped her off that her breasts were larger. … unless she’d stuffed her cups with socks. 🙂

  48. sometimessophia

    Dysmorphia… that’s new to me. The anger response is what saddens me. You would think she’d have needed a bigger bra size, which might have tipped her off that her breasts were larger. … unless she’d stuffed her cups with socks. 🙂

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