Observations While Under the Influence

Hai … My name is Suzanne.

I'm the author of Twenty Four At Heart.

I had a spectacular post written for you and my computer ate it when I hit "publish."  It might possibly have eaten my writing because I'm drugged up and hit the wrong button instead of "publish."  

Let's try again, but this time I give up before I've even started.  Did I mention I'm on drugs?

I am.

I'll just go with the flow instead.  Stream of conscience writing so to speak.  My friend Jason does that … writes in the stream.

4_07-19sgl_stream

I started back at PT this week after five weeks off.  I've put nearly three years of work into regaining use of my arm.  I knew a break would mean a lot of pain when I returned.  I was right.  I'll probably be drugged up a lot for a few weeks as I readjust to my renewed and spectacular levels of pain.  Please be patient with me.

There was more bad news from The Torturer.  It surprised even me.  

In five weeks off I lost fifteen degrees of motion.

I'll just say Fuck and get it over with, okay?

Do you have any idea how hard I fought to get those fifteen degrees of motion in the first place?

The good news is The Torturer is going easy (for him) on me so far.  Which is not to say it doesn't hurt to go to PT, because it does.  However, I know he's capable of hurting me so much more.  It hurts the most in the evening a few hours after he's worked on me.  He's trying to ease me back into being tortured.  He doesn't like me to look at him while he hurts me.  He asks me to turn and look away from him.  I think it makes him feel guilty.  

Who am I kidding?  Hurting me is his fun.

I'm hoping I'll be able to regain the range of motion I've lost at a faster rate than it took the first time around.  Who knows.  I'm mainly trying to block out the whole ugly thought of those fifteen degrees.  I've put the thought of it in the (very large) part of my brain which handles denial.

Did I ever mention I'm an expert at denial?

The Torturer is using a weird laser thing on me.  We both have to wear really ugly sunglasses when he does it to me so the laser doesn't hurt our eyes.  Did I just write when he does it to me?  Is it because I'm on drugs or does that just sound dirty?  

I'll try to remember to take a picture next time so you can see how ridiculous the glasses are.  They don't make me look very sexay!

Sexay!

What a fun word.  Sexay …

There's a family in Money Town with two daughters.  One is named Mercedes and the other is named Portia (pronounced Porsche).  Two daughters named after luxury vehicles in one family.  I threw up in my mouth just a little bit when I heard their choice of names for their kids.  Is it just me, or is that absolutely obnoxious?

[By the way, I have no problem with either of those names individually.  It's the thought of a Money Town family using both of them together.]  <shudder>

I have a pair of really pretty red shoes!  I thought you should know.

I went to a bocci ball party last weekend.  I arrived late.  I never played with the bocci balls.  I doubt if I could have anyway with my bum arm.  The hostess served Mad Housewife wine.  The wine is so-so, but the bottle is hilarious.  It makes for a great conversation starter at a party.  The back label goes on and on about laundry rooms and cat litter boxes.  The front of the bottle looks like this:

MH-White-Zin-new-label-sm02

Last night on Twitter there was a huge discussion about whether or not men and women can have purely platonic friendships.  We've had that same discussion here on 24 before.  There were a lot of varying opinions on Twitter.  A lot of women said they have men as platonic friends.  One or two men agreed and said platonic relationships between the sexes are common place.  Some men said of course they can have platonic female friends as long as there is no attraction to the woman.  

One man (@timebandit) said only if the man is gay.  He later amended his answer to say not if it's between 3 and 6 a.m.  

I stand by my original opinion. Men and women can absolutely maintain a platonic friendship right up until the very moment they have sex with each other.

Just kidding.

Ha ha!  I just made myself laugh.

© Twenty Four At Heart

60 Responses to “Observations While Under the Influence”

  1. Jan

    Well, THERE’S your problem – white zinfandel. Blech.
    Honey, you make ME laugh too.

  2. Jan

    Well, THERE’S your problem – white zinfandel. Blech.
    Honey, you make ME laugh too.

  3. Jan

    Well, THERE’S your problem – white zinfandel. Blech.
    Honey, you make ME laugh too.

  4. Beth

    You make me want some of those drugs. Seriously, I do hope you get your range of motion back quickly. That sucks to lose it.

  5. Beth

    You make me want some of those drugs. Seriously, I do hope you get your range of motion back quickly. That sucks to lose it.

  6. Beth

    You make me want some of those drugs. Seriously, I do hope you get your range of motion back quickly. That sucks to lose it.

  7. Joanne

    at least they aren’t named Lamborghini and Ferrari !

  8. Joanne

    at least they aren’t named Lamborghini and Ferrari !

  9. Joanne

    at least they aren’t named Lamborghini and Ferrari !

  10. Maureen at IslandRoar

    I’m so sorry you have to be in pain again. But I’ll bet those 15 degrees will come back much more quickly this time.
    This post was all over the place and amazingly funny.
    So let me just say: I love red shoes! I can’t believe those people named their daughters both car names(gag); I want to buy that wine now just for the bottle; and “sexay” is fun to write as well as fun to say!
    Feel better; you’re the best!

  11. Maureen at IslandRoar

    I’m so sorry you have to be in pain again. But I’ll bet those 15 degrees will come back much more quickly this time.
    This post was all over the place and amazingly funny.
    So let me just say: I love red shoes! I can’t believe those people named their daughters both car names(gag); I want to buy that wine now just for the bottle; and “sexay” is fun to write as well as fun to say!
    Feel better; you’re the best!

  12. Maureen at IslandRoar

    I’m so sorry you have to be in pain again. But I’ll bet those 15 degrees will come back much more quickly this time.
    This post was all over the place and amazingly funny.
    So let me just say: I love red shoes! I can’t believe those people named their daughters both car names(gag); I want to buy that wine now just for the bottle; and “sexay” is fun to write as well as fun to say!
    Feel better; you’re the best!

  13. Kelly

    You just made me laugh too! : )
    Hope the torturer goes easy on you and things get better fast!

  14. Kelly

    You just made me laugh too! : )
    Hope the torturer goes easy on you and things get better fast!

  15. Kelly

    You just made me laugh too! : )
    Hope the torturer goes easy on you and things get better fast!

  16. Mike

    I can be friends with women. It still crosses my mind though. What if –

  17. Mike

    I can be friends with women. It still crosses my mind though. What if –

  18. Mike

    I can be friends with women. It still crosses my mind though. What if –

  19. Liz C

    Oh, I’m afraid I have an idea of how much those 15 deg cost you and I’m so sorry! Maybe it *will* be easier this time because they haven’t been ‘gone’ too long.
    Love the label of the wine!

  20. Liz C

    Oh, I’m afraid I have an idea of how much those 15 deg cost you and I’m so sorry! Maybe it *will* be easier this time because they haven’t been ‘gone’ too long.
    Love the label of the wine!

  21. Liz C

    Oh, I’m afraid I have an idea of how much those 15 deg cost you and I’m so sorry! Maybe it *will* be easier this time because they haven’t been ‘gone’ too long.
    Love the label of the wine!

  22. Jason

    I’m sorry you lost 15 degrees of motion! And that it hurts so much, STILL.
    Thank you for linking!! 🙂

  23. Jason

    I’m sorry you lost 15 degrees of motion! And that it hurts so much, STILL.
    Thank you for linking!! 🙂

  24. Jason

    I’m sorry you lost 15 degrees of motion! And that it hurts so much, STILL.
    Thank you for linking!! 🙂

  25. dogmother

    if parents in my town (not really “my” town) named their kids after cars they would be, oh, something like Cavalier and Sunfire…kind of cute, huh….or how about Geo (you know, could be short for George) and Neon…not bad either.

  26. dogmother

    if parents in my town (not really “my” town) named their kids after cars they would be, oh, something like Cavalier and Sunfire…kind of cute, huh….or how about Geo (you know, could be short for George) and Neon…not bad either.

  27. dogmother

    if parents in my town (not really “my” town) named their kids after cars they would be, oh, something like Cavalier and Sunfire…kind of cute, huh….or how about Geo (you know, could be short for George) and Neon…not bad either.

  28. Lynette

    Here’s hoping the 15 degrees comes back faster than you lost it.
    What’s the matter with BUI (Blogging Under the Influence)? You’re still pretty damn funny.

  29. Lynette

    Here’s hoping the 15 degrees comes back faster than you lost it.
    What’s the matter with BUI (Blogging Under the Influence)? You’re still pretty damn funny.

  30. Lynette

    Here’s hoping the 15 degrees comes back faster than you lost it.
    What’s the matter with BUI (Blogging Under the Influence)? You’re still pretty damn funny.

  31. Linda

    Two daughters named after luxury vehicles in one family? Desperate for attention maybe?
    BTW UR funny!

  32. Linda

    Two daughters named after luxury vehicles in one family? Desperate for attention maybe?
    BTW UR funny!

  33. Linda

    Two daughters named after luxury vehicles in one family? Desperate for attention maybe?
    BTW UR funny!

  34. Sandra

    hahahaha!!! I love your posts when you’re on drugs. You’re just too cute and silly.
    I hope your arm gets it’s motion back fast. I think it will. Muscle memory and all that right?? I’ll think positive for you. =)
    Have a super duper day!

  35. Sandra

    hahahaha!!! I love your posts when you’re on drugs. You’re just too cute and silly.
    I hope your arm gets it’s motion back fast. I think it will. Muscle memory and all that right?? I’ll think positive for you. =)
    Have a super duper day!

  36. Sandra

    hahahaha!!! I love your posts when you’re on drugs. You’re just too cute and silly.
    I hope your arm gets it’s motion back fast. I think it will. Muscle memory and all that right?? I’ll think positive for you. =)
    Have a super duper day!

  37. Duchess

    Missed the discussion on twitter. But my (ex) husband absolutely declared that married women couldn’t have male friends. I had to give mine up.

  38. Duchess

    Missed the discussion on twitter. But my (ex) husband absolutely declared that married women couldn’t have male friends. I had to give mine up.

  39. Duchess

    Missed the discussion on twitter. But my (ex) husband absolutely declared that married women couldn’t have male friends. I had to give mine up.

  40. sometimessophia

    A gay guy was one of my bestest friends for a while, but I’ve had straight guy friends, too. It was easy with one the guy who was particularly gracious, because he didn’t let his attraction for me get in the way of doing fun things together. I liked him very much as a friend, but there was no spark. Another guy taught me how to drive a standard shift, sent roses, and books… and stuck around for a long time even when I was dating someone else. He was a good friend. (Makes me sound like a bitch, no?)

  41. sometimessophia

    A gay guy was one of my bestest friends for a while, but I’ve had straight guy friends, too. It was easy with one the guy who was particularly gracious, because he didn’t let his attraction for me get in the way of doing fun things together. I liked him very much as a friend, but there was no spark. Another guy taught me how to drive a standard shift, sent roses, and books… and stuck around for a long time even when I was dating someone else. He was a good friend. (Makes me sound like a bitch, no?)

  42. sometimessophia

    A gay guy was one of my bestest friends for a while, but I’ve had straight guy friends, too. It was easy with one the guy who was particularly gracious, because he didn’t let his attraction for me get in the way of doing fun things together. I liked him very much as a friend, but there was no spark. Another guy taught me how to drive a standard shift, sent roses, and books… and stuck around for a long time even when I was dating someone else. He was a good friend. (Makes me sound like a bitch, no?)

  43. Kim

    Haha. You made me laugh too … you usually do.
    Sorry about those degrees of loss .. that sucks. But I have to say that posting under the influence is rather entertaining. I may have to try it sometime.

  44. Kim

    Haha. You made me laugh too … you usually do.
    Sorry about those degrees of loss .. that sucks. But I have to say that posting under the influence is rather entertaining. I may have to try it sometime.

  45. Kim

    Haha. You made me laugh too … you usually do.
    Sorry about those degrees of loss .. that sucks. But I have to say that posting under the influence is rather entertaining. I may have to try it sometime.

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