I am not normal.
I don't know why that is?
I've been home all week caring for my son who was diagnosed with H1N1. He's sleeping a lot. I think he's getting better. He's on a lot of medications and drinking tons of fluids.
As you may remember, the doctor also felt I had caught H1N1 and put me on Tamiflu. I didn't even feel very sick. One of the possible side effects of Tamiflu is mental confusion.
Am I not mentally confused enough already?
I have been so scattered. I can't seem to think in a straight line. Thank goodness I've primarily just been at home playing nurse because I think I'm a danger to the world and myself right now.
Have you gotten a confusing email from me? Have I responded to an email you sent me twice? Or not at all?
I honestly don't know what the hell I'm doing right now.
Two days ago, I desperately needed a few things at the grocery store for my son. It was raining. There were no cars in the parking lot. I parked right in front of the store. I bought the needed groceries and then spent fifteen minutes looking for my car in the parking lot when I was done.
Yes, I did walk right past my own car several times in the process.
I know I'm blonde … but, really?
This is not like me.
I am an efficient, organized, woman.
Or I was?
That same day I was discussing music with a friend. I couldn't remember the names of songs. I couldn't remember which artists wrote which songs. I'm a total music buff. Finally, I decided to stop discussing music because clearly, I really know nothing at all.
Except, I think I do.
Or, at least, I did prior to taking Tamiflu.
I won't even tell you about my attempts at cooking. I *might* be forgetting things like turning the stove on … or worse, turning the stove off.
To put it mildly, I'm no longer trusting my own judgment on anything. I have to take Tamiflu for three more days. I don't know how long the drug will stay in my system after that. At what point might my mental acuity return?
In the meantime, the other day it rained until afternoon. Then the sun came out for awhile and the clouds cleared. Not long after, the sun began to set. I looked out our back window at "my" mountains. They looked so beautiful and so vibrant in color.
The mountains often look pink or red or purple as the sun sets. This time they looked even more purple-ish. I was amazed. I took a photo. Then I wondered if they really looked that purple, or maybe it was an illusion born out of my druggy confusion?
© Twenty Four At Heart