Shut Up – I Hate Football

** I know several of you requested a reprint of my Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe for Halloween.  I had planned to post it today.  Due to the insanity that was my evening last night, I will be posting it for you tomorrow instead.  I promise! **

I've had a very high stress week.  (Maybe even month if you take into account our Swine filled house!)  Last night I was cooking a really nice dinner … chicken kiev if you must know, when suddenly it sounded like a herd of elephants had entered the house.  I glanced at the clock.  It was 40 minutes before I expected PR to walk in from football practice.  

A minute later a group of high school players noisily appeared in my kitchen carrying PR.  They seemed to fill the entire room. 

"What's wrong?  What happened?" I asked, alarmed.

They tossed PR on the couch none too gently.  He winced.  I could tell he was fighting back tears.  PR has sat through 25 stitches and not winced one bit.  This did not look good.

"It's XXXX's fault!" one of the football players proudly told me.

I looked at XXXX.

He looked down at the ground sheepishly.

"I tackled him," he said.  I could tell he felt horrible.

Tackling PR in practice is what he is supposed to do.  I know that.

I looked at my son.  I took in his cantaloupe sized purple ankle.  I thanked the players for getting him home and into the house as they left.  

PR informed me, "I was going this way, but when XXXX tackled me, my ankle went that way.  The coach told me I should walk on it, but I can't."

WTF, Mr. Coach??

I propped PR's ankle up on some pillows.  It did not look good.  I put a bag of frozen peas around his ankle.  (Frozen peas conform around an injury better than ice.  Not that I'm an injury expert at this point in my life or anything.)  I got him two Advil to take and I texted The Torturer.  

"How can I tell if PR's ankle is broken or sprained?" I asked.

"You can't.  You need an x-ray," he promptly texted me back.  The Torturer then proceeded to give me some first aid tips for immediate treatment.  Sometimes I actually like that man, but please don't ever tell him.  Really, he'd get a big head if he thought I liked him even a little bit.  

I gave PR a plate of chicken kiev and veggies because food trumps pain with teen boys every time.  He inhaled a full plate of food in less than five minutes.  Then we were on our way to Urgent Care.  Yes, this was our second trip for this football season.  I think it might mean that boys who are 5'8" and only 115 pounds are really not cut out for football (no matter how fast the coach might think they are.)

It was not a fun drive.  PR was really hurting.  This is how mothers age … watching your kid in pain is guaranteed to give a person wrinkles.

At Urgent Care I helped PR hop into the waiting room.  Unlike the big enormous football players, I'm not able to lift him.  The staff promptly brought him a wheelchair.

As it turns out, the doctor on call had two sons go to the same high school where PR goes.  Both of them also played football there several years ago.  I patiently listened to the doc proudly go on about what a great football program the school has.  He looked at PR's ankle and informed us he was "out for the season."  I already had figured that much out on my own.

Then I waited for PR to be wheeled to and from the x-ray room.  As I waited I cringed at the thought of having to inform the high school baseball coach about PR's injury.  Baseball is PR's main sport.  The baseball coach will not be happy.  Would any of you like to volunteer to inform him PR is out for the next several weeks?  I would really appreciate it.

Eventually the doc returned to show me "an area of concern" on the x-ray.  "A possible fracture, but it's hard to tell because it's near his growth plate," he informed me.  He said he would need a radiologist to confirm it for him, but there was no question PR has, at minimum, a bad sprain. 

I informed him I would prefer to take the x-rays with me for my orthopedic to take a look at in the morning vs. waiting an entire day on the radiologist.

"You won't be able to get in to see an orthopedic that fast," he informed me.

"Yes, I will," I replied.

He looked at me skeptically and asked who my orthopedic is.

I informed him he's Dr. BigWig.

"He's way too busy to see you that soon," he countered.

"He'll see us in the morning," I replied.  I was growing weary of this debate.  

I did not have the desire or energy to explain about my car accident, my six surgeries or the fact that I'm Dr. BigWig's personal career challenge and friend.  Dr. BigWig loves me, is a regular 24 reader, and has pretty much adopted me as a member of his office.  

Dr. BigWig will see my injured son.

"Your son is going to need some physical therapy in a few weeks," the doctor added.

"I've got it covered," I informed him nicely.

(At that very minute, a text message from The Torturer arrived on my phone asking how PR was doing.)

The doc looked at me questioningly.  I know he probably thinks I'm a Very Important Person With Lots of Medical Connections.  I was too stressed out to explain.  And really, it would take an hour to explain, wouldn't it?

The doc splinted PR's ankle and brought him a pair of crutches.  Forty five minutes later we were home.  I was wondering how in the world to get him out of his pads.  Also, how in the hell to get him in the shower when he's splinted and can't put any weight on his foot?  He was a few hours into practice when he got hurt … the kid needed a shower.  

Me?  I needed a glass few bottles of wine.

Also?  Thank God he's out of football for the rest of the season.  There's only so much a mother can take.

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© Twenty Four At Heart

60 Responses to “Shut Up – I Hate Football”

  1. Barrie Summy

    That sounds incredibly stressful!! I’m glad PR is done with football for the season. I’ll be checking for updates. And the cookie recipe. 😉

  2. Barrie Summy

    That sounds incredibly stressful!! I’m glad PR is done with football for the season. I’ll be checking for updates. And the cookie recipe. 😉

  3. Barrie Summy

    That sounds incredibly stressful!! I’m glad PR is done with football for the season. I’ll be checking for updates. And the cookie recipe. 😉

  4. Jan

    It’s times like this that makes me glad my 14-year-old son is involved at the local public library and various, nerdy non-sports related after-school activities.
    Poor PR – he is just not having a good time so far this school year, is he?

  5. Jan

    It’s times like this that makes me glad my 14-year-old son is involved at the local public library and various, nerdy non-sports related after-school activities.
    Poor PR – he is just not having a good time so far this school year, is he?

  6. Jan

    It’s times like this that makes me glad my 14-year-old son is involved at the local public library and various, nerdy non-sports related after-school activities.
    Poor PR – he is just not having a good time so far this school year, is he?

  7. Donna in VA

    The things that boys do to their mothers. And just so you know. . . it doesn’t end when they’re grown. (That’s just a myth) I’m certain my two boys are why I’m prematurely gray.

  8. Donna in VA

    The things that boys do to their mothers. And just so you know. . . it doesn’t end when they’re grown. (That’s just a myth) I’m certain my two boys are why I’m prematurely gray.

  9. Donna in VA

    The things that boys do to their mothers. And just so you know. . . it doesn’t end when they’re grown. (That’s just a myth) I’m certain my two boys are why I’m prematurely gray.

  10. Kari-Mel

    I’m sorry you had such a stressful evening but OH how I can relate! When my oldest was 12, she thought she could play Mary Poppins and jump off the roof of a friend’s garage with a tarp as her umbrella. She broke the knotty bone at her growth plate and required surgery and a couple screws to put her foot back together. I ended up in the hospital with her for 3 days and then it was pure hell at home because of the stairs. I’m pretty sure I ruined the couch over the next few weeks of sleeping on it while we had her in the recliner so she could keep her foot propped. Her initial cast weighed about 20 pounds so it kept her even more off balance than just a normal cast. They had to wait for the incision to heal from the insertion of the screws before they could put a normal cast on. Here’s hoping his is just a severe sprain and you have simply been relieved of that dreadful carpool duty!

  11. Kari-Mel

    I’m sorry you had such a stressful evening but OH how I can relate! When my oldest was 12, she thought she could play Mary Poppins and jump off the roof of a friend’s garage with a tarp as her umbrella. She broke the knotty bone at her growth plate and required surgery and a couple screws to put her foot back together. I ended up in the hospital with her for 3 days and then it was pure hell at home because of the stairs. I’m pretty sure I ruined the couch over the next few weeks of sleeping on it while we had her in the recliner so she could keep her foot propped. Her initial cast weighed about 20 pounds so it kept her even more off balance than just a normal cast. They had to wait for the incision to heal from the insertion of the screws before they could put a normal cast on. Here’s hoping his is just a severe sprain and you have simply been relieved of that dreadful carpool duty!

  12. Kari-Mel

    I’m sorry you had such a stressful evening but OH how I can relate! When my oldest was 12, she thought she could play Mary Poppins and jump off the roof of a friend’s garage with a tarp as her umbrella. She broke the knotty bone at her growth plate and required surgery and a couple screws to put her foot back together. I ended up in the hospital with her for 3 days and then it was pure hell at home because of the stairs. I’m pretty sure I ruined the couch over the next few weeks of sleeping on it while we had her in the recliner so she could keep her foot propped. Her initial cast weighed about 20 pounds so it kept her even more off balance than just a normal cast. They had to wait for the incision to heal from the insertion of the screws before they could put a normal cast on. Here’s hoping his is just a severe sprain and you have simply been relieved of that dreadful carpool duty!

  13. LPC

    My son’s senior year, a kid who had been playing football came back to the soccer team. He was such a star. But, at 5’8″, as he got older and the other boys started to reach 6′ and over, to say nothing of all the weight, football didn’t make sense any more. But fast and coordinated is fast and coordinated and it worked really well for soccer. Which, of course, most of the world calls football anyway.

  14. LPC

    My son’s senior year, a kid who had been playing football came back to the soccer team. He was such a star. But, at 5’8″, as he got older and the other boys started to reach 6′ and over, to say nothing of all the weight, football didn’t make sense any more. But fast and coordinated is fast and coordinated and it worked really well for soccer. Which, of course, most of the world calls football anyway.

  15. LPC

    My son’s senior year, a kid who had been playing football came back to the soccer team. He was such a star. But, at 5’8″, as he got older and the other boys started to reach 6′ and over, to say nothing of all the weight, football didn’t make sense any more. But fast and coordinated is fast and coordinated and it worked really well for soccer. Which, of course, most of the world calls football anyway.

  16. Kelly

    Ouch! You have had a rough month. Hopefully things will improve quickly. Let us know how PR does!

  17. Kelly

    Ouch! You have had a rough month. Hopefully things will improve quickly. Let us know how PR does!

  18. Kelly

    Ouch! You have had a rough month. Hopefully things will improve quickly. Let us know how PR does!

  19. Alan

    You have had a rough month! Looks like you got it all taken care of though. I feel bad for your son. Out the rest of the season sucks for him. So…how DID you get him out of his uniform? Because that HAD to be a pain in the ass…

  20. Alan

    You have had a rough month! Looks like you got it all taken care of though. I feel bad for your son. Out the rest of the season sucks for him. So…how DID you get him out of his uniform? Because that HAD to be a pain in the ass…

  21. Alan

    You have had a rough month! Looks like you got it all taken care of though. I feel bad for your son. Out the rest of the season sucks for him. So…how DID you get him out of his uniform? Because that HAD to be a pain in the ass…

  22. Michelle Pixie

    You poor thing! It moments like these when we hurt more then our kids…it is so hard to see them hurt. Hopefully the ankle heals quickly. And on the bright side there are only 4 days left in the month!! 😉

  23. Michelle Pixie

    You poor thing! It moments like these when we hurt more then our kids…it is so hard to see them hurt. Hopefully the ankle heals quickly. And on the bright side there are only 4 days left in the month!! 😉

  24. Michelle Pixie

    You poor thing! It moments like these when we hurt more then our kids…it is so hard to see them hurt. Hopefully the ankle heals quickly. And on the bright side there are only 4 days left in the month!! 😉

  25. Christine

    So reading about the car ride totally made my ankle start to throb. Ever try to ride along a bumpy road with nothing stabilizing an ankle with a SPIRAL break!? I don’t recommend it.
    I’m sorry he’s hurt, though I must say I’m glad you’ve got those connections — I’m sure they’ve helped alleviate a small bit of the stress when it comes to getting him taken care of. Here’s hoping it’s just a sprain!!

  26. Christine

    So reading about the car ride totally made my ankle start to throb. Ever try to ride along a bumpy road with nothing stabilizing an ankle with a SPIRAL break!? I don’t recommend it.
    I’m sorry he’s hurt, though I must say I’m glad you’ve got those connections — I’m sure they’ve helped alleviate a small bit of the stress when it comes to getting him taken care of. Here’s hoping it’s just a sprain!!

  27. Christine

    So reading about the car ride totally made my ankle start to throb. Ever try to ride along a bumpy road with nothing stabilizing an ankle with a SPIRAL break!? I don’t recommend it.
    I’m sorry he’s hurt, though I must say I’m glad you’ve got those connections — I’m sure they’ve helped alleviate a small bit of the stress when it comes to getting him taken care of. Here’s hoping it’s just a sprain!!

  28. Pseudo

    When does baseball start? Sending wishes for a swift recovery.
    Our teen boy broke his ankle near the growth plate motorcross. It healed in about four weeks. He’s also broken both wrists, one snowboardig and one skateboarding…

  29. Pseudo

    When does baseball start? Sending wishes for a swift recovery.
    Our teen boy broke his ankle near the growth plate motorcross. It healed in about four weeks. He’s also broken both wrists, one snowboardig and one skateboarding…

  30. Pseudo

    When does baseball start? Sending wishes for a swift recovery.
    Our teen boy broke his ankle near the growth plate motorcross. It healed in about four weeks. He’s also broken both wrists, one snowboardig and one skateboarding…

  31. Linda

    First I’m sorry PR got hurt and gave you wrinkles;-) Hope he’ll be able to play baseball soon.
    Second WTF Doc? She wants the x-rays, give them too her! What RU going to do with them? She said she can get an appointment with Ortho doc and get the x-ray looked at. WHY are you arguing with her? GAAA!!! Why is it that Dr’s don’t listen?

  32. Linda

    First I’m sorry PR got hurt and gave you wrinkles;-) Hope he’ll be able to play baseball soon.
    Second WTF Doc? She wants the x-rays, give them too her! What RU going to do with them? She said she can get an appointment with Ortho doc and get the x-ray looked at. WHY are you arguing with her? GAAA!!! Why is it that Dr’s don’t listen?

  33. Linda

    First I’m sorry PR got hurt and gave you wrinkles;-) Hope he’ll be able to play baseball soon.
    Second WTF Doc? She wants the x-rays, give them too her! What RU going to do with them? She said she can get an appointment with Ortho doc and get the x-ray looked at. WHY are you arguing with her? GAAA!!! Why is it that Dr’s don’t listen?

  34. missy

    Your life is reading like a soap opera these days. Please be sure to keep us all informed on this diagnosis and progress. We are all concerned for his well being at this point. First H1N1, then pneumonia and now this…. all in one month. This is more than a mother should handle.

  35. missy

    Your life is reading like a soap opera these days. Please be sure to keep us all informed on this diagnosis and progress. We are all concerned for his well being at this point. First H1N1, then pneumonia and now this…. all in one month. This is more than a mother should handle.

  36. missy

    Your life is reading like a soap opera these days. Please be sure to keep us all informed on this diagnosis and progress. We are all concerned for his well being at this point. First H1N1, then pneumonia and now this…. all in one month. This is more than a mother should handle.

  37. amyz5

    ok, that painted toenails comment was a little concerning.
    the frozen peas are every athlete’s mother’s dream. unfortunately they seem to always have been used for soup the same week we pop an ankle in this house.
    so sorry and man do I know that ride to the x-rays. last year did it at 8PM and did not leave the hospital till 3AM.
    why can’t they take up photography?!!

  38. amyz5

    ok, that painted toenails comment was a little concerning.
    the frozen peas are every athlete’s mother’s dream. unfortunately they seem to always have been used for soup the same week we pop an ankle in this house.
    so sorry and man do I know that ride to the x-rays. last year did it at 8PM and did not leave the hospital till 3AM.
    why can’t they take up photography?!!

  39. amyz5

    ok, that painted toenails comment was a little concerning.
    the frozen peas are every athlete’s mother’s dream. unfortunately they seem to always have been used for soup the same week we pop an ankle in this house.
    so sorry and man do I know that ride to the x-rays. last year did it at 8PM and did not leave the hospital till 3AM.
    why can’t they take up photography?!!

  40. Sandra

    There’s always an upside to everything. Having medical connections does come in handy. The only thing left was your plastic surgeon. Too bad the Dr didn’t suggest something in that arena. You’d have really blown him away then. 🙂
    I hope PR heals quickly. Broken anything isn’t fun.

  41. Sandra

    There’s always an upside to everything. Having medical connections does come in handy. The only thing left was your plastic surgeon. Too bad the Dr didn’t suggest something in that arena. You’d have really blown him away then. 🙂
    I hope PR heals quickly. Broken anything isn’t fun.

  42. Sandra

    There’s always an upside to everything. Having medical connections does come in handy. The only thing left was your plastic surgeon. Too bad the Dr didn’t suggest something in that arena. You’d have really blown him away then. 🙂
    I hope PR heals quickly. Broken anything isn’t fun.

  43. Lorna Harris

    Oh my goodness, I can’t believe how many things you’ve had thrown at you recently. Think positive thoughts – November will be a good month!

  44. Lorna Harris

    Oh my goodness, I can’t believe how many things you’ve had thrown at you recently. Think positive thoughts – November will be a good month!

  45. Lorna Harris

    Oh my goodness, I can’t believe how many things you’ve had thrown at you recently. Think positive thoughts – November will be a good month!

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