I recently got an estimate for installing artificial grass in our backyard.
Artificial grass is pretty damn pricey and Briefcase and I are in the process of arguing over discussing the matter.
Before you moan and groan and ask, "How can you even consider such a thing?" let me tell you I have several good reasons.
First of all, California is in a drought and we are constantly being asked to conserve water. Grass requires water … lots and lots of water. We have a pretty large grass area surrounding our pool. Therefore, reason #1 is The Green Factor.
Reason #2 is The Dog Factor. I have two large retrievers.
Reason #3 is The Rabbit Factor. And this, really, is the biggest factor of all. I live in a canyon. I'm surrounded by wilderness. Wilderness means wildlife … and four hundred bazillion horny, breeding, rabbits are a big part of that wildlife.
You thought this post was going to be about sex-toy rabbits, didn't you? Well, you were wrong … I have issues with real-life, horny, rabbits with big ears and cottontails.
Are you starting to feel like you're looking at a National Geographic magazine with all my animal photos today?
Did you know the average bunny completes the sex act in 20 seconds? (giggle) I dated a guy just like that once upon a time … but it didn't last long.
Ha ha! Get it?
Female bunnies begin having sex at 6 months of age and male bunnies begin at 4 months. Bunnies make more bunnies … lots and lots of bunnies during their lifetime. Every damn one of them comes to eat my grass down to the roots. They are hungry, horny, little cottontails.
(Someday, I'm going to be locked up in a padded cell based on the weird subjects I've googled in my lifetime!)
My retrievers chase the rabbits out of the yard during the day, but during the evening and early morning hours the rabbits come out in droves to eat the delicious grass. (My Golden caught one and brought it into the house one day. You should have heard me scream when I saw long rabbit legs protruding from his mouth as he stood next to me in the kitchen!) We've put chicken wire along the bottom edge of our wrought iron fencing to no avail. The rabbits chew holes right through the fencing.
Why don't we leave the dogs outside 24/7? If we did they'd be killed by coyotes or mountain lions.
Yes, we have big critters in this here canyon too! (Also, retrievers are "people dogs" and do best when allowed to be with the rest of their "family.")
A friend suggested getting a cat. Do cats eat rabbits? No one in our neighborhood has managed to keep a cat for more than a week. The coyotes (and big horned owls!) eat the cats for snacks. Yes, the coyotes also eat rabbits. Did you know rabbits actually scream when they are being eaten by coyotes? Well, they do and it's very disturbing. Of course, I'd scream too if I was being eaten alive by coyotes.
The problem is, the rabbits are multiplying way faster than the coyotes can eat them.
The bigger problem is, the rabbits are determined to eat our grass down to nothing.
I'm thinking artificial grass is the only protection against an army of horny, hungry, (sometimes screaming) rabbits.
Here are my questions for you today. Do you have any (humane) suggestions for getting rid of the rabbits? Do you know any particular pros and/or cons of artificial grass?
© Twenty Four At Heart