My Gift to The Torturer

Every holiday season I give a gift to The Torturer.  Originally, when I began this tradition, I thought it would be one gift … one year.  You know, a nice gesture to let him know I appreciate his efforts with my car accident recovery.  This holiday season marked my fourth (!) holiday season as The Torturer's patient.

Yes, my life is pathetic.

The Torturer and I joke that many years from now he'll hobble out in a walker to care for torture me and I'll still be there trying to escape needing his torture care.  

It's not funny, but at the same time – it is.

By the way, if he didn't love being with me so much he would have gotten me 100% recovered by now so he could be rid of me.  

Don't ya think?

Anyway, over the years I've given some very nice gifts to The Torturer, in spite of the pain he inflicts on me.  This year, however, I gave him the best gift yet.

IMG_0933

Now, whenever he tires of hearing me bitch  complain  whine  whimper in pain, he can tune me out easily and carry on with his job of getting my arm to work and my body free of pain.  Of course, I've already informed him I might want to use a pair of his ear plugs every day  once in awhile too.  There could be a lot of benefits in not being able to hear him  giving me rules about what I'm allowed to do   bitching at me   nagging me  providing me with helpful advice.

© Twenty Four At Heart

45 Responses to “My Gift to The Torturer”

  1. SSG

    hello
    i read post secret, http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ and i saw a secret from orange county. Apart from the OC (which I’ve never watched) the only other thing from there abouts I know of is you! So I thought you might like to check it out, also because postsecret is great in general. I read your blog lots but dont often comment, but I hope the accident before christmas hasnt put your recovery back because I believe you are on the road to RECOVERY. And I think the new coffee cup is great, but I did like the red colour better. Also, did the torturer give you any presents? Have a happy hogmanay, SSG

  2. SSG

    hello
    i read post secret, http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ and i saw a secret from orange county. Apart from the OC (which I’ve never watched) the only other thing from there abouts I know of is you! So I thought you might like to check it out, also because postsecret is great in general. I read your blog lots but dont often comment, but I hope the accident before christmas hasnt put your recovery back because I believe you are on the road to RECOVERY. And I think the new coffee cup is great, but I did like the red colour better. Also, did the torturer give you any presents? Have a happy hogmanay, SSG

  3. SSG

    hello
    i read post secret, http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ and i saw a secret from orange county. Apart from the OC (which I’ve never watched) the only other thing from there abouts I know of is you! So I thought you might like to check it out, also because postsecret is great in general. I read your blog lots but dont often comment, but I hope the accident before christmas hasnt put your recovery back because I believe you are on the road to RECOVERY. And I think the new coffee cup is great, but I did like the red colour better. Also, did the torturer give you any presents? Have a happy hogmanay, SSG

  4. di

    Look like great ear plugs… did you give them a test run before wrapping them up for him?
    DI

  5. di

    Look like great ear plugs… did you give them a test run before wrapping them up for him?
    DI

  6. di

    Look like great ear plugs… did you give them a test run before wrapping them up for him?
    DI

  7. stephen

    Suzanne, that is funny. I was wearing similar earplugs one day while working in my woodshop. They were so comfortable I forgot to remove them when I came in for lunch. I’m eating a sandwich watching the tube when the babe comes in and YELLS, “TURN THAT THING DOWN!” Duh! The ear damage that day wasn’t from power tools but the tv volume when I pulled those suckers out. And I’m neither blond nor female, go figure. stephen

  8. stephen

    Suzanne, that is funny. I was wearing similar earplugs one day while working in my woodshop. They were so comfortable I forgot to remove them when I came in for lunch. I’m eating a sandwich watching the tube when the babe comes in and YELLS, “TURN THAT THING DOWN!” Duh! The ear damage that day wasn’t from power tools but the tv volume when I pulled those suckers out. And I’m neither blond nor female, go figure. stephen

  9. stephen

    Suzanne, that is funny. I was wearing similar earplugs one day while working in my woodshop. They were so comfortable I forgot to remove them when I came in for lunch. I’m eating a sandwich watching the tube when the babe comes in and YELLS, “TURN THAT THING DOWN!” Duh! The ear damage that day wasn’t from power tools but the tv volume when I pulled those suckers out. And I’m neither blond nor female, go figure. stephen

  10. Liz Tee

    I, too, though immediately of the Moaner. But I am guessing that kind of noise probably doesn’t bother him as much.
    🙂

  11. Liz Tee

    I, too, though immediately of the Moaner. But I am guessing that kind of noise probably doesn’t bother him as much.
    🙂

  12. Liz Tee

    I, too, though immediately of the Moaner. But I am guessing that kind of noise probably doesn’t bother him as much.
    🙂

  13. Midlife Slices

    Can I just say I’m sorry right up front and get that over with? I’m sorry I’ve missed so many of your posts and didn’t know you’d been rear ended. I’m also sorry you were really rear ended and that wasn’t just a way of describing a….well, maybe more pleasurable experience. *wink*
    Glad you’re o.k. and your Christmas was good and it’s all over with for another year.
    Oh….that gift is perfect for the torturer.

  14. Midlife Slices

    Can I just say I’m sorry right up front and get that over with? I’m sorry I’ve missed so many of your posts and didn’t know you’d been rear ended. I’m also sorry you were really rear ended and that wasn’t just a way of describing a….well, maybe more pleasurable experience. *wink*
    Glad you’re o.k. and your Christmas was good and it’s all over with for another year.
    Oh….that gift is perfect for the torturer.

  15. Midlife Slices

    Can I just say I’m sorry right up front and get that over with? I’m sorry I’ve missed so many of your posts and didn’t know you’d been rear ended. I’m also sorry you were really rear ended and that wasn’t just a way of describing a….well, maybe more pleasurable experience. *wink*
    Glad you’re o.k. and your Christmas was good and it’s all over with for another year.
    Oh….that gift is perfect for the torturer.

  16. amyz5

    what, you couldn’t give him an ipod? hahaha. too funny. bet he has those in the next time you show up for an appointment.

  17. amyz5

    what, you couldn’t give him an ipod? hahaha. too funny. bet he has those in the next time you show up for an appointment.

  18. amyz5

    what, you couldn’t give him an ipod? hahaha. too funny. bet he has those in the next time you show up for an appointment.

  19. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Oh, you are so funny!
    Maybe you can borrow a pair for your jaunts around Money Town. You know, so you can just smile and nod and not hear a word those uppity women say?

  20. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Oh, you are so funny!
    Maybe you can borrow a pair for your jaunts around Money Town. You know, so you can just smile and nod and not hear a word those uppity women say?

  21. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Oh, you are so funny!
    Maybe you can borrow a pair for your jaunts around Money Town. You know, so you can just smile and nod and not hear a word those uppity women say?

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