What I Learned While Visiting Money Town This Week

I was in Money Town several times this last week.  In fact, I was at three Money Town parties recently.  This is what I learned:

1.  My dream kitchen does exist.  It just doesn't belong to me.

2.  There is no such thing as too much cleavage.

3.  Money Town folks can easily get lost in their own houses because there are so many damn rooms. 

4.  It's fun when you get lost in your own house because you rediscover rooms you totally forgot about.  Oh look – it's the Sit And Ponder Life room!

5.  There is no such thing as too much "help."

6.  I could be happy with caterers working in my kitchen to indulge my every whim.

IMG_3756

7. Strawberry infused vodka is a good thing.

8.  Money may not buy happiness but it can get rid of wrinkles and fat.

9.  If you are hit hard by the economy, and live in Money Town, you must not alter your extravagant lifestyle because the neighbors might talk.

10.  Some Money Town kids learn to be pompous assholes at a very young age.

11.  Actually, strawberry infused vodka is a very, very, good thing!

12.  There are nice people in Money Town too.

13.  Even the not-so-nice Money Town people get nicer when they drink enough strawberry-infused vodka.

14.  If you're a Money Town wife you're expected to stay fairly sober at MT parties so your husband can get sloppy drunk and make a fool of himself staggering around, staring at other women's cleavage (and/or bionic nipples), and telling the same stories over and over again.  You are expected to be the designated driver to get home.

15.  As a Money Town woman, it's not good form to hit on someone else's husband while yours is in the next room.  His wife might, hypothetically, write about it on her blog.  (You don't want to look like a whore to all of Orange County and the entire Internet, do you?)  

* Even if you are one.

© Twenty Four At Heart

69 Responses to “What I Learned While Visiting Money Town This Week”

  1. Mad Woman

    Holy crap…she hit on your husband? Ho bag. I like your list. I wonder how many feathers will start a-rufflin’?

  2. Mad Woman

    Holy crap…she hit on your husband? Ho bag. I like your list. I wonder how many feathers will start a-rufflin’?

  3. Mad Woman

    Holy crap…she hit on your husband? Ho bag. I like your list. I wonder how many feathers will start a-rufflin’?

  4. di

    Go ahead and write about it… I’m listening… LOL
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  5. di

    Go ahead and write about it… I’m listening… LOL
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  6. di

    Go ahead and write about it… I’m listening… LOL
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal

  7. mama llama

    Oh wow. I sure haven’t been to a pah-tay like THAT in a very, very long time!
    I, too, look forward to reading about It!!
    Be well, 24.

  8. mama llama

    Oh wow. I sure haven’t been to a pah-tay like THAT in a very, very long time!
    I, too, look forward to reading about It!!
    Be well, 24.

  9. mama llama

    Oh wow. I sure haven’t been to a pah-tay like THAT in a very, very long time!
    I, too, look forward to reading about It!!
    Be well, 24.

  10. Jan

    Oooooo – I want some strawberry infused vodka!
    And I wanna go to a money town party. Hell, I want to go to ANY party that I don’t have to plan, shop for, prepare and clean up after.

  11. Jan

    Oooooo – I want some strawberry infused vodka!
    And I wanna go to a money town party. Hell, I want to go to ANY party that I don’t have to plan, shop for, prepare and clean up after.

  12. Jan

    Oooooo – I want some strawberry infused vodka!
    And I wanna go to a money town party. Hell, I want to go to ANY party that I don’t have to plan, shop for, prepare and clean up after.

  13. Michelle Pixie

    Uh-Oh! Let me grab a cup of coffee and I’ll be ready to hear all the details… And maybe the caterers can whip something up for us while we gab!

  14. Michelle Pixie

    Uh-Oh! Let me grab a cup of coffee and I’ll be ready to hear all the details… And maybe the caterers can whip something up for us while we gab!

  15. Michelle Pixie

    Uh-Oh! Let me grab a cup of coffee and I’ll be ready to hear all the details… And maybe the caterers can whip something up for us while we gab!

  16. Elisa

    Ok, let me see, whore hitting on husband vs. strawberry vodka and… OMG!!! are those mini burgers? Fuck that, I would totally hit one of those parties, whores and all.

  17. Elisa

    Ok, let me see, whore hitting on husband vs. strawberry vodka and… OMG!!! are those mini burgers? Fuck that, I would totally hit one of those parties, whores and all.

  18. Elisa

    Ok, let me see, whore hitting on husband vs. strawberry vodka and… OMG!!! are those mini burgers? Fuck that, I would totally hit one of those parties, whores and all.

  19. Alan

    Sounds like one hell of a party! Someday I wanna visit Money Town, just so I can see for myself all of the fake women (with big boobs) and huge houses. Trust me…you’ll know who I am because I will TOTALLY stand out…

  20. Alan

    Sounds like one hell of a party! Someday I wanna visit Money Town, just so I can see for myself all of the fake women (with big boobs) and huge houses. Trust me…you’ll know who I am because I will TOTALLY stand out…

  21. Alan

    Sounds like one hell of a party! Someday I wanna visit Money Town, just so I can see for myself all of the fake women (with big boobs) and huge houses. Trust me…you’ll know who I am because I will TOTALLY stand out…

  22. Cate

    Oh please – tell us Downunder hicks some more 🙂
    Was thinking of you while writing on my blog this morning – hubby’s pain level has worsened, and we are looking at more surgery again down the track……

  23. Cate

    Oh please – tell us Downunder hicks some more 🙂
    Was thinking of you while writing on my blog this morning – hubby’s pain level has worsened, and we are looking at more surgery again down the track……

  24. Cate

    Oh please – tell us Downunder hicks some more 🙂
    Was thinking of you while writing on my blog this morning – hubby’s pain level has worsened, and we are looking at more surgery again down the track……

  25. Jane

    I now want to run out and buy some strawberry infused vodka.
    What did the rest of your post say? 😉
    I am betting you had way better cleavage than the MoToHo.
    Oh, and that thing about not altering your lifestyle — have you been peeking in on my sister again?

  26. Jane

    I now want to run out and buy some strawberry infused vodka.
    What did the rest of your post say? 😉
    I am betting you had way better cleavage than the MoToHo.
    Oh, and that thing about not altering your lifestyle — have you been peeking in on my sister again?

  27. Jane

    I now want to run out and buy some strawberry infused vodka.
    What did the rest of your post say? 😉
    I am betting you had way better cleavage than the MoToHo.
    Oh, and that thing about not altering your lifestyle — have you been peeking in on my sister again?

×

Comments are closed.