iSuck (Just Ask Me To)

Last month Las Vegas hosted the AEE – better known as the Adult Entertainment Expo.

No, I didn't attend.

I would love to next year though.  Think of the giggles blog material!

A man named Douglas Hines unveiled a sex-robot at the Expo.  Her name is Roxxxy.  She is the most advanced sex robot ever invented.  Roxxxy won't be available for purchase for a few months still, but supposedly thousands of men have already pre-ordered a Roxxxy of their very own.  (If you're interested, you can contact Hines' very graphic site here, but I should warn you in advance it isn't appropriate if you're at work.)

I found this photo of (anatomically correct) Roxxxy with her creator online.

T1larg

Did you notice her mouth is open?

* snicker *

Personally, I don't find Roxxxy very attractive but I'm a heterosexual female.  You may have a different opinion.

Here's Roxxxy in a different outfit and position (and apparently with a companion).

Roxxxy-012010-04 

Roxxxy comes with a high price tag.  She costs $7,000!  

That's right seven thousand dollars!

I suppose her price tag makes her perfect for rich, lonely, OC men.

Roxxxy is five foot seven inches tall and weighs a thin 120 pounds.  Her skin is made out of the same soft, silicone, material that artificial limbs are made out of.  Heated air blows pumps through her body to keep her warm to the touch.

(I'm really, really, trying to give you all the information about Roxxxy without making any puns.  It's very hard difficult.)

Why is Roxxxy so special?  Well, there are several reasons.  Roxxxy comes with five different personalities including Frigid Farrah and Wild Wendy.  Her companion can pick whichever personality he/she's in the mood for.

Can anyone tell me why someone would pay $7000 for a frigid rubber sex robot?

Roxxxy is also a product of artificial intelligence (as are many Orange County women.)  She can carry on conversations, express emotion and answer questions.  She can't move on her own so her owner won't have to worry about Roxxxy wandering off with another partner when he needs her most.  She, however, can be contorted into most "natural" positions for your enjoyment.

I'm going to leave that last sentence alone.

Writing this post is taking amazing restraint on my part!

Roxxxy has "sensors" in her hands, and genitals (and breasts? does she have bionic nipples?) so she will respond orally vocally when touched.  I'm not sure if she's a moaner or a screamer.  It might depend on which personality her companion has chosen at the time.  

Roxxxy shudders when she has an orgasm.

What happens to a man's ego if he can't make his sex robot cum?

Roxxxy isn't perfect.  She snores in her sleep.  Yes, she really does.  There's a button to turn off her snoring if you find it irritating.  (I'm trying to get a button installed on Briefcase with the same feature!)  Also, Roxxxy's battery only lasts about three hours on one charge.  When she needs to be recharged, her companion uses an electrical cord which plugs into her back.

When I need to be recharged, I head out of town for the weekend.

If you want to pay extra, Roxxxy's creator can program her to discuss particular topics.  Are you into the stock market?  Does it turn you on?  Well, he can program Roxxxy to discuss the market with you for an extra fee.  Have you always wanted a woman who loves to watch, and discuss, lacrosse with you?  Roxxxy may be the answer.

In the future, versions of Roxxxy are expected to do even more.  (Which begs the question, what won't Roxxxy do now?)  

A male sex robot is in the making also.  He'll be named Rocky.

I'm sure it won't be long until Apple comes out with a similar doll of their own.  Possible names for an Apple sex doll?  How about iSuck?  Or maybe it should be iFuck?

© Twenty Four At Heart

78 Responses to “iSuck (Just Ask Me To)”

  1. Mad Woman

    Ahahahahaha!!!!! That was so funny!! I can’t believe people will pay that much for a freakin’ robot that dies in 3 hours.

  2. Mad Woman

    Ahahahahaha!!!!! That was so funny!! I can’t believe people will pay that much for a freakin’ robot that dies in 3 hours.

  3. Mad Woman

    Ahahahahaha!!!!! That was so funny!! I can’t believe people will pay that much for a freakin’ robot that dies in 3 hours.

  4. mama llama

    Oh my goodness gracious.
    What happens if she shorts out?
    Just curious. I have to say, even with my purple joystick with pearl action, I hardly find it a viable substitute for the real thing…and at a fraction of the cost.
    Wow. The education I receive on your blog. Phew.
    Be well, 24.

  5. mama llama

    Oh my goodness gracious.
    What happens if she shorts out?
    Just curious. I have to say, even with my purple joystick with pearl action, I hardly find it a viable substitute for the real thing…and at a fraction of the cost.
    Wow. The education I receive on your blog. Phew.
    Be well, 24.

  6. mama llama

    Oh my goodness gracious.
    What happens if she shorts out?
    Just curious. I have to say, even with my purple joystick with pearl action, I hardly find it a viable substitute for the real thing…and at a fraction of the cost.
    Wow. The education I receive on your blog. Phew.
    Be well, 24.

  7. Deidre

    I admire your ability to withhold the innuendo.
    Seriously, could she be more unattractive though? Couldn’t they have based her off of Angelina Jolie or something?

  8. Deidre

    I admire your ability to withhold the innuendo.
    Seriously, could she be more unattractive though? Couldn’t they have based her off of Angelina Jolie or something?

  9. Deidre

    I admire your ability to withhold the innuendo.
    Seriously, could she be more unattractive though? Couldn’t they have based her off of Angelina Jolie or something?

  10. di

    Anyone watched the movie ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ starring Ryan Gosling. Well, Lars had a psychological problem… it wasn’t related to sex. BUT, I’ll bet for the most part that men (or women) that order this doll are either very very very lonely people OR *gasp* people that are totally messed up sexually.
    How anyone could get off on THAT ugly face is beyond me. Perhaps they could have consulted with Walt Disney or Pixar and come up with a more princess like face. COME ON!! Who wants to spend time with an $7,000 investment that looks like this bag.? For $7,000 you’d think they would want a doll that doesn’t look as though she was picked up during last call at a bar! Why not make her look like someone you would want to take home to meet Mom? LMBO
    I think it’s funny as hell.
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal
    (Hello… Ryan Gosling? Have I got a girl for you!)

  11. di

    Anyone watched the movie ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ starring Ryan Gosling. Well, Lars had a psychological problem… it wasn’t related to sex. BUT, I’ll bet for the most part that men (or women) that order this doll are either very very very lonely people OR *gasp* people that are totally messed up sexually.
    How anyone could get off on THAT ugly face is beyond me. Perhaps they could have consulted with Walt Disney or Pixar and come up with a more princess like face. COME ON!! Who wants to spend time with an $7,000 investment that looks like this bag.? For $7,000 you’d think they would want a doll that doesn’t look as though she was picked up during last call at a bar! Why not make her look like someone you would want to take home to meet Mom? LMBO
    I think it’s funny as hell.
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal
    (Hello… Ryan Gosling? Have I got a girl for you!)

  12. di

    Anyone watched the movie ‘Lars and the Real Girl’ starring Ryan Gosling. Well, Lars had a psychological problem… it wasn’t related to sex. BUT, I’ll bet for the most part that men (or women) that order this doll are either very very very lonely people OR *gasp* people that are totally messed up sexually.
    How anyone could get off on THAT ugly face is beyond me. Perhaps they could have consulted with Walt Disney or Pixar and come up with a more princess like face. COME ON!! Who wants to spend time with an $7,000 investment that looks like this bag.? For $7,000 you’d think they would want a doll that doesn’t look as though she was picked up during last call at a bar! Why not make her look like someone you would want to take home to meet Mom? LMBO
    I think it’s funny as hell.
    Di
    The Blue Ridge Gal
    (Hello… Ryan Gosling? Have I got a girl for you!)

  13. Annette

    I hope she comes with a bag to put over her head…she is one unattractive dame!

  14. Annette

    I hope she comes with a bag to put over her head…she is one unattractive dame!

  15. Annette

    I hope she comes with a bag to put over her head…she is one unattractive dame!

  16. Joanne

    there’s an old (1987) sci-fi movie called “Cherry 2000” and it’s about a robo-companion. I looked at the website pictures, and while I was looking at weird tattoo guy having fun with his “little friend” I kept wondering if she tastes like…. um…. plastic baby doll. and that open mouth!! she looked a little surprised at what weird tattoo guy was doing

  17. Joanne

    there’s an old (1987) sci-fi movie called “Cherry 2000” and it’s about a robo-companion. I looked at the website pictures, and while I was looking at weird tattoo guy having fun with his “little friend” I kept wondering if she tastes like…. um…. plastic baby doll. and that open mouth!! she looked a little surprised at what weird tattoo guy was doing

  18. Joanne

    there’s an old (1987) sci-fi movie called “Cherry 2000” and it’s about a robo-companion. I looked at the website pictures, and while I was looking at weird tattoo guy having fun with his “little friend” I kept wondering if she tastes like…. um…. plastic baby doll. and that open mouth!! she looked a little surprised at what weird tattoo guy was doing

  19. Kelly

    OMG! Nothing should surprise me anymore, but it does. Unbelievable!

  20. Kelly

    OMG! Nothing should surprise me anymore, but it does. Unbelievable!

  21. Kelly

    OMG! Nothing should surprise me anymore, but it does. Unbelievable!

  22. Kristan

    “What happens to a man’s ego if he can’t make his sex robot cum?”
    Now THAT is the question.
    Good lord people are crazy. Is this really better than (legally sanctioned, licensed, and overseen) prostitution?
    Well then again, it IS better than rape or molestation…

  23. Kristan

    “What happens to a man’s ego if he can’t make his sex robot cum?”
    Now THAT is the question.
    Good lord people are crazy. Is this really better than (legally sanctioned, licensed, and overseen) prostitution?
    Well then again, it IS better than rape or molestation…

  24. Kristan

    “What happens to a man’s ego if he can’t make his sex robot cum?”
    Now THAT is the question.
    Good lord people are crazy. Is this really better than (legally sanctioned, licensed, and overseen) prostitution?
    Well then again, it IS better than rape or molestation…

  25. Stephen

    I kept looking at the inventor/perv and tried to not imagine him doing “research and development,” or “field trials.” That dude has some serious issues. Uh, what was wrong with the old days. A playboy and a handful of lotion.

  26. Stephen

    I kept looking at the inventor/perv and tried to not imagine him doing “research and development,” or “field trials.” That dude has some serious issues. Uh, what was wrong with the old days. A playboy and a handful of lotion.

  27. Stephen

    I kept looking at the inventor/perv and tried to not imagine him doing “research and development,” or “field trials.” That dude has some serious issues. Uh, what was wrong with the old days. A playboy and a handful of lotion.

  28. BeautifulWreck

    Well, you beat me to the punch because this was what I was going to write about today but you did it so well and I can’t compete with this!
    Apple better get right on this. They have the iPad, and they need to move over to the fucking part of the industry and make the iSuck or iFuck. Surely they can come up with something spectacular.
    O, and the OC girls have some competition it seems TwentyFour – men can now have something plastic that will do everything they want for a lot less money.

  29. BeautifulWreck

    Well, you beat me to the punch because this was what I was going to write about today but you did it so well and I can’t compete with this!
    Apple better get right on this. They have the iPad, and they need to move over to the fucking part of the industry and make the iSuck or iFuck. Surely they can come up with something spectacular.
    O, and the OC girls have some competition it seems TwentyFour – men can now have something plastic that will do everything they want for a lot less money.

  30. BeautifulWreck

    Well, you beat me to the punch because this was what I was going to write about today but you did it so well and I can’t compete with this!
    Apple better get right on this. They have the iPad, and they need to move over to the fucking part of the industry and make the iSuck or iFuck. Surely they can come up with something spectacular.
    O, and the OC girls have some competition it seems TwentyFour – men can now have something plastic that will do everything they want for a lot less money.

  31. Jan

    The iSuck or iFuck? Oh, no – I can tell you EXACTLY what the most popular function of this plastic babe will be, and it’ll be the iTakeituptheass.
    Other than that, the only thing I could think of while reading this was: who’s going to CLEAN it? The average man? That whole line of though gets really disgusting really quickly.

  32. Jan

    The iSuck or iFuck? Oh, no – I can tell you EXACTLY what the most popular function of this plastic babe will be, and it’ll be the iTakeituptheass.
    Other than that, the only thing I could think of while reading this was: who’s going to CLEAN it? The average man? That whole line of though gets really disgusting really quickly.

  33. Jan

    The iSuck or iFuck? Oh, no – I can tell you EXACTLY what the most popular function of this plastic babe will be, and it’ll be the iTakeituptheass.
    Other than that, the only thing I could think of while reading this was: who’s going to CLEAN it? The average man? That whole line of though gets really disgusting really quickly.

  34. Pam

    Damn! This post was hilarious, but I especially like the ifuck! LOL!!! You crack me up!

  35. Pam

    Damn! This post was hilarious, but I especially like the ifuck! LOL!!! You crack me up!

  36. Pam

    Damn! This post was hilarious, but I especially like the ifuck! LOL!!! You crack me up!

  37. Linda Tustin

    Oh Jan- leave it to you to even think through it that far! ROFL

  38. Linda Tustin

    Oh Jan- leave it to you to even think through it that far! ROFL

  39. Linda Tustin

    Oh Jan- leave it to you to even think through it that far! ROFL

  40. Be

    Only $7,000? That’s damn cheap .. unless the developer left in a “backdoor” app in case of divorce called iSue!

  41. Be

    Only $7,000? That’s damn cheap .. unless the developer left in a “backdoor” app in case of divorce called iSue!

  42. Be

    Only $7,000? That’s damn cheap .. unless the developer left in a “backdoor” app in case of divorce called iSue!

  43. Be

    LOL- they can’t even help the innuendo on their site. They have a “careers” page!
    TrueCompanion.com offers excellent growth opportunities and a competitive salary based on experience.
    We are a “customer-centric” organization looking for people that want to grow, learn, share and work closely with our growing family of customers.

  44. Be

    LOL- they can’t even help the innuendo on their site. They have a “careers” page!
    TrueCompanion.com offers excellent growth opportunities and a competitive salary based on experience.
    We are a “customer-centric” organization looking for people that want to grow, learn, share and work closely with our growing family of customers.

  45. Be

    LOL- they can’t even help the innuendo on their site. They have a “careers” page!
    TrueCompanion.com offers excellent growth opportunities and a competitive salary based on experience.
    We are a “customer-centric” organization looking for people that want to grow, learn, share and work closely with our growing family of customers.

  46. Momma Pixie

    I am dying over Jan’s response! iTakeituptheass!!
    Is that a wedding ring I see on Roxxxy’s creator? Would love to know what his significant other thought of this creation?! A little creepy if you ask me. Besides being a Nevadan I think you could make a lot of trips to a bunny ranch for $7000 and not have to worry about cords getting in the way!

  47. Momma Pixie

    I am dying over Jan’s response! iTakeituptheass!!
    Is that a wedding ring I see on Roxxxy’s creator? Would love to know what his significant other thought of this creation?! A little creepy if you ask me. Besides being a Nevadan I think you could make a lot of trips to a bunny ranch for $7000 and not have to worry about cords getting in the way!

  48. Momma Pixie

    I am dying over Jan’s response! iTakeituptheass!!
    Is that a wedding ring I see on Roxxxy’s creator? Would love to know what his significant other thought of this creation?! A little creepy if you ask me. Besides being a Nevadan I think you could make a lot of trips to a bunny ranch for $7000 and not have to worry about cords getting in the way!

  49. Nancy P

    Well I don’t even know what to say. Naturally I did have to check out the website and what I want to know is WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THOSE GUYS IN THE PHOTOS?! Sometimes you just have to say no to a job!
    Several years ago I saw something like this only they were not robotic. They were made for men who were “unable” for one reason or another to be with a real live woman. The article said the doll could be cleaned out with a turkey baster! no kidding!

  50. Nancy P

    Well I don’t even know what to say. Naturally I did have to check out the website and what I want to know is WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THOSE GUYS IN THE PHOTOS?! Sometimes you just have to say no to a job!
    Several years ago I saw something like this only they were not robotic. They were made for men who were “unable” for one reason or another to be with a real live woman. The article said the doll could be cleaned out with a turkey baster! no kidding!

  51. Nancy P

    Well I don’t even know what to say. Naturally I did have to check out the website and what I want to know is WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THOSE GUYS IN THE PHOTOS?! Sometimes you just have to say no to a job!
    Several years ago I saw something like this only they were not robotic. They were made for men who were “unable” for one reason or another to be with a real live woman. The article said the doll could be cleaned out with a turkey baster! no kidding!

  52. Jack

    She comes with a pressure washer that you can use to clean her out, or so I have heard.

  53. Jack

    She comes with a pressure washer that you can use to clean her out, or so I have heard.

  54. Jack

    She comes with a pressure washer that you can use to clean her out, or so I have heard.

  55. Amy in StL

    Wow, she is incredibly unattractive! But I guess if you can’t get real girls to talk to you and ugly robot is better than no robot. And you know they already have the ibuzz for women, right?

  56. Amy in StL

    Wow, she is incredibly unattractive! But I guess if you can’t get real girls to talk to you and ugly robot is better than no robot. And you know they already have the ibuzz for women, right?

  57. Amy in StL

    Wow, she is incredibly unattractive! But I guess if you can’t get real girls to talk to you and ugly robot is better than no robot. And you know they already have the ibuzz for women, right?

  58. Jason

    Now that’s just creepy. I’m all for fun and games and toys, but this? Frightens me.

  59. Jason

    Now that’s just creepy. I’m all for fun and games and toys, but this? Frightens me.

  60. Jason

    Now that’s just creepy. I’m all for fun and games and toys, but this? Frightens me.

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