Only Me?

I'm a walking train wreck this week.  I thought I'd share my train wreck-ness with you in all its glory.

Yes, I'm slightly under the influence of narcotics as I'm writing this, but only slightly.  I might still make sense.  

Or I might not?

You be the judge.

So, it turns out I have an allergy (a BIG, BAD, allergy!) to a certain type of medication.  I didn't know I had any medication allergies.  I've been feeling pretty miserable for a couple days now.  I haven't been sleeping, I've been real itchy, blah, blah, blah.

Oh?

And because of no sleep?

I *might* have been real bitchy right along with real itchy.

Yesterday it all came together in a gigantic, "Why the hell am I feeling so incredibly shit-abulous?"  

Also?

Hives are really not an attractive accessory.

Finally, with the help of one of my doctor friends, a medication I recently began taking was pinpointed as the source of my problem(s).

There's never a shortage of problems in my life, right?

Thank you Universe, for that.

By the way, I sent a tweet out yesterday about having an allergic reaction.  Many of you sent messages back saying you hoped it wasn't my new Valentine's thong I was allergic to.  You think you're funny, don't you?  Well, I think you're funny also … but no, I haven't developed a thong allergy.

It would be really uncomfortable if I had, don't you think?

I'm told, in another day or two, I'll be feeling much better now that the cause of the allergy has been discovered and eliminated from my life.  I've, in fact, already stopped clawing my own skin off of my body.  Thank goodness, because omigawd.make.the.itching.stop!!

I had to drive on one of Orange County's finest freeways to visit the doc yesterday.  Along with what I now know were bad allergy symptoms, my bum arm was killing me.

Yes, I'm a TRAIN CAR WRECK, I know!

I started getting muscle spasms in my upper back as I drove.  This is what happens when I don't have The Torturer stretching my body in ways I can't stretch it by myself.  (Does that sound dirty?  I think it does, but then I tend to have a dirty mind.  Maybe it sounds fine?  It's hard to tell when I'm slightly influenced by drugs.)

So there I was sitting in bumper to bumper traffic when I felt my back muscles start cramping up on me.  I knew I had to get the pain to stop immediately, before it got worse.  I arched my back against the driver's seat.  I pushed my upper back deep into the seat in an attempt to put pressure on those muscles.  I began to thrash against the seat trying to "work" my back muscles into relaxing.

It was helping, it really was.

All of a sudden, I felt someone staring.  You know that feeling, when you know even before you see them, someone is watching you.

I looked out my side window.  There was a man seated on the passenger side of a big red truck in the lane next to me.  He was looking down at me … mesmerized.  When our eyes met, he smiled lasciviously and then … he gave me a thumbs up sign.

Yes.He.Did!

Apparently he thought I was, ahem, enjoying myself while I was driving.

I blushed.  I sputtered.  I began talking to myself saying things like, "Oh wait, I'm not …!  I have a bad arm …."

Of course, he couldn't hear me.

For that matter, his lane had moved ahead of mine and he no longer could even see me.

I've been obsessed with a need to explain the situation to him ever since.  I have no idea who he was.  

I'm hoping maybe one of you knows the perverted man in the big red truck?

And if so, could you please clarify for him the reasons behind my behavior?

Thank you!  

I appreciate it so much!

© Twenty Four At Heart

48 Responses to “Only Me?”

  1. Joanne

    I am deathly allergic to any form of codeine. I get the same thing itchy, then nauseous, and it goes straight downhill from there.

  2. Joanne

    I am deathly allergic to any form of codeine. I get the same thing itchy, then nauseous, and it goes straight downhill from there.

  3. Joanne

    I am deathly allergic to any form of codeine. I get the same thing itchy, then nauseous, and it goes straight downhill from there.

  4. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Aw, let him think what he wants; you probably made his day.
    This sounds miserable! Thank goodness they found the problem.
    I hope you’re feeling better today…

  5. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Aw, let him think what he wants; you probably made his day.
    This sounds miserable! Thank goodness they found the problem.
    I hope you’re feeling better today…

  6. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Aw, let him think what he wants; you probably made his day.
    This sounds miserable! Thank goodness they found the problem.
    I hope you’re feeling better today…

  7. Kelly

    BWAHAHAHA!! I bet he’ll be telling his buddies the story about the woman on the freeway for YEARS!

  8. Kelly

    BWAHAHAHA!! I bet he’ll be telling his buddies the story about the woman on the freeway for YEARS!

  9. Kelly

    BWAHAHAHA!! I bet he’ll be telling his buddies the story about the woman on the freeway for YEARS!

  10. Mike

    I’m the perverted man in the truck.
    Thx for the show.
    (kidding)

  11. Mike

    I’m the perverted man in the truck.
    Thx for the show.
    (kidding)

  12. Mike

    I’m the perverted man in the truck.
    Thx for the show.
    (kidding)

  13. Linda

    LOL! Yes, only you! Hope you find a new PT very, very soon. You’ve come so far since I first started reading you.

  14. Linda

    LOL! Yes, only you! Hope you find a new PT very, very soon. You’ve come so far since I first started reading you.

  15. Linda

    LOL! Yes, only you! Hope you find a new PT very, very soon. You’ve come so far since I first started reading you.

  16. Michelle Pixie

    It really does only happen to you! I’d say who cares what he thinks, it probably made his wife’s day that he came home ‘excited’ to see her. 😉 Hope you are on the mend!!

  17. Michelle Pixie

    It really does only happen to you! I’d say who cares what he thinks, it probably made his wife’s day that he came home ‘excited’ to see her. 😉 Hope you are on the mend!!

  18. Michelle Pixie

    It really does only happen to you! I’d say who cares what he thinks, it probably made his wife’s day that he came home ‘excited’ to see her. 😉 Hope you are on the mend!!

  19. Jan

    ROFL! No, dear, not only you – I embarrass myself in public on a regular basis.
    I hope you find a new PT soon.

  20. Jan

    ROFL! No, dear, not only you – I embarrass myself in public on a regular basis.
    I hope you find a new PT soon.

  21. Jan

    ROFL! No, dear, not only you – I embarrass myself in public on a regular basis.
    I hope you find a new PT soon.

  22. Pam

    LMAO!!! Yes, you definitely made his day! 🙂 Glad they were able to figure out which meds were bothering you.

  23. Pam

    LMAO!!! Yes, you definitely made his day! 🙂 Glad they were able to figure out which meds were bothering you.

  24. Pam

    LMAO!!! Yes, you definitely made his day! 🙂 Glad they were able to figure out which meds were bothering you.

  25. Nancy P

    Oh my gosh! THAT is funny stuff. He probably told all his friends about you!

  26. Nancy P

    Oh my gosh! THAT is funny stuff. He probably told all his friends about you!

  27. Nancy P

    Oh my gosh! THAT is funny stuff. He probably told all his friends about you!

  28. Anne Gibert

    I think the drugs must have worn off. Your hives are gone and you make perfect sense.
    Never mind the man. You made his day, he made you a funny post.

  29. Anne Gibert

    I think the drugs must have worn off. Your hives are gone and you make perfect sense.
    Never mind the man. You made his day, he made you a funny post.

  30. Anne Gibert

    I think the drugs must have worn off. Your hives are gone and you make perfect sense.
    Never mind the man. You made his day, he made you a funny post.

  31. Ginger

    Leaning against and rolling on a hard softball (!) (especially in the car) works wonders for sore back muscles.

  32. Ginger

    Leaning against and rolling on a hard softball (!) (especially in the car) works wonders for sore back muscles.

  33. Ginger

    Leaning against and rolling on a hard softball (!) (especially in the car) works wonders for sore back muscles.

  34. Duchess

    I didn’t learn a lot in all my years of education, but I did learn that the other lane always moves faster.

  35. Duchess

    I didn’t learn a lot in all my years of education, but I did learn that the other lane always moves faster.

  36. Duchess

    I didn’t learn a lot in all my years of education, but I did learn that the other lane always moves faster.

  37. dogmother

    You should be thrilled that, at 24, man in truck knows you’re a hottie! Wooohooooooooooo. I’m 24 and never so lucky :}

  38. dogmother

    You should be thrilled that, at 24, man in truck knows you’re a hottie! Wooohooooooooooo. I’m 24 and never so lucky :}

  39. dogmother

    You should be thrilled that, at 24, man in truck knows you’re a hottie! Wooohooooooooooo. I’m 24 and never so lucky :}

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