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Apparently, I have un-meltable fat.
Either that, or Zerona just didn't work on me.
Or perhaps, as I'm inclined to believe, fat melting just plain doesn't work?
If you haven't been reading along, I've been testing a Fat Melting Machine called Zerona. I wrote about the first of six Fat Melting appointments here. My plastic surgeon friends are (were?) considering this machine for their practice, but didn't want to offer it to patients unless it got great results.
By the way, apparently two other people who work in the plastic surgeon's office also tried Zerona, and I was informed it didn't work for either of them either.
Here's a photo of the Zerona machine:
On six separate days (two weeks in a row of M, W, F appointments which is what Zerona recommends) I rested for forty minutes under the fat melting machine. For the first twenty minutes of each appointment I was on my back, and then I flipped over for twenty minutes on my stomach.
And yes, I did let my fat impress everyone while I was there. I wore nothing but a thong and bra during each treatment. My measurements were taken (neck to knees) on my first and last day of treatment. I'm even going back this Friday for one last measurement confirmation.
While I was baring my ass hanging out, the Zerona machine was sending laser beams onto (into?) my body. Each of the four arms, and the circle in the center of the machine, beamed down on me while I lay there. The theory behind the machine is the laser (supposedly) pierces the fat cells, causing them to "leak" out fat. This (supposedly) shrinks fat cells and causes the patient to lose inches. A person's body then flushes out the leaked fat right along with other waste.
The concept sounds like it would lead to positive results.
What is the cost for six Zerona appointments? Well, it varies. I was told the recommended cost is $2,500. Some offices apparently charge as much as $3,500 and I found it available at one location for as low as $1,600.
Let me back up now and tell you a few more things recommended by the Zerona folks.
While a person is undergoing Zerona treatments, they request you take a daily supplement. I asked if the supplement contained a diuretic (to make a person pee out all their water weight and lose "fake" inches). I was told it did not contain a diuretic. However, I've taken the supplement as directed and peed like crazy. I'm a little dubious.
Why does Zerona say a person should take the supplement? They say it aids in the "detoxification" process.
The Zerona rep also told me I should exercise and/or walk daily, cut out fatty foods, drink eight glasses of water each day and stop drinking alcohol while undergoing fat melting treatments.
It sounds suspiciously like a diet and exercise regimen, don't you think?
All of the above are supposed to help a patient achieve "maximum results" from the Zerona machine.
Are patients paying for Zerona results or the results of their own dieting and exercise?
My question is this …
If I lost nine inches at the end of two or three weeks, how would I know what I lost from dieting/exercising/cutting out alcohol/taking supplements vs. the actual effects of the (very expensive) Zerona treatments?
I didn't have to worry about that, I guess, because I did not lose nine inches.
This is what I did do:
1. I went to my six Zerona treatment appointments.
2. I took the supplement provided. (And actually will continue to take it for a few more days.)
3. I maintained my existing exercise plan of 3-4 days/week on my elliptical and or walking.
4. I avoided fattening foods as I've been doing pretty religiously since the first of the year anyway.
5. I drank a ton of water because I've been constantly thirsty and felt very dehydrated (I think from the supplements).
6. I drank no alcohol except for 3 (perhaps 4?) sips of champagne at the Plastic Surgery Party.
What were my results?
Well, there were a few spots on my body which measured slightly smaller, but other areas measured slightly (gasp!) bigger. I chalked this up to inconsistencies/variations in the actual measuring. The woman responsible for my measurements agreed with my assessment.
All in all, there was no noticeable difference in my body as a result of using the Zerona machine. Supposedly, a person can continue to lose inches for up to one week after treatment but since I didn't see any changes during treatment, I'm not holding my breath. (However, if I go in this Friday and see a sudden drop of inches I'll be sure to let you know.)
Let's pretend for a minute, I did have good results …
Let's pretend I lost six inches combined over my entire body (neck to knees). That still isn't enough, in my opinion, to justify spending $2,500. Why not spend that money instead on a nutritionist and a personal trainer? Or for the surgically inclined, spend a little more and get liposuction for more dramatic and permanent results?
And again, if I did lose six inches, how would I know how much Zerona was responsible for vs. how much I did on my own through dieting/exercising/increased water consumption/supplements.
I'm concerned about that very thing with my next, and final, set of measurements. I'm on a 1000 calorie/day diet for the next two weeks. (This is something I chose to do independently – it has nothing to do with Zerona.) If I lose a couple inches by my final measurement day, I doubt very much the fat melting machine should receive credit. I think it's far more likely my new diet, combined with an hour per day of power walking, will impact those measurements.
Regardless, the fact is, I didn't see any noticeable change as a result of Zerona treatments during the two weeks I was treated.
Did I want Zerona to work for me?
Of course I did.
Would I spend a couple thousand dollars for fat melting treatments in the future?
No, I would not.
Would I recommend a friend spend the money to try it?
No, I would not.
And now I have a question for you, my wonderful readers.
Let's pretend someone gifted you $2,500 which had to be used to improve your weight/inches/body appearance.
How would you spend it?
© Twenty Four At Heart