You’ve Been Dying to Know?

Ah yes, once again it's time to update you on the exciting tidbits I call my life with a mish-mash of unrelated topics all thrown together in one post.  I might will most likely regret writing this after I hit publish.

My oldest son is home from college for a few months.  That means I have two teen boys in the house again.  It also means I've been to the grocery store every single day since he got home.  I can't seem to buy enough food because, between the two boys, I'm convinced someone is eating every minute of the day at our house.  How else could they go through so much food?  Yesterday I bought THIRTY SIX eggs.  At one time.  I might add a button to my sidebar so you can donate food to the 24 household if the mood strikes you.  

Just kidding.  (For now!)

I've been falling asleep at odd times since I was put on my new pain meds.  I've never before slept during the day.  I'm not a napper.  I can't sleep on trains, planes or automobiles either.  

Except?  

All of a sudden I can.  In fact, just try to keep me awake.  

I am the new face of necrophilia narcolepsy.  

Damn!  I always get those two words confused.

Yesterday I managed to stay awake for the entire day for only the second time since my pain meds were changed.  I was so happy to see my body is adjusting to the new drugs.  Except, today?  Today is the day I increase my current dose.  That's right … for the next week I will be taking twice the amount I took all of last week.  

Zzzzzzzzzzzz!  

What was I saying?

I've lost fourteen pounds.  Woo hoo!  I'm only losing about a pound a week now.  I've been told weight gain is a "common side effect" of the pain drugs.  If I gain weight the drugs will quickly become a part of my past.  I'm working far too hard to lose my post-car-accident weight to let any type of medication mess me up.  It's too bad ten five of the fourteen pounds I've lost were probably gained on a pre-diet bender.  

Have you ever gone on a pre-diet bender?

What?  Am I the only one?

My pre-diet bender involved my favorite Mexican restaurant, chips, salsa, and a few too many margaritas.

Guess where I've lost weight from?  

My fingers!  

That's right … I had the skinniest fingers ever invented (are fingers invented?) and now they've gotten even skinnier.  I've always worn a very small ring size.  Now my wedding bands keep wanting to slip right off my fingers.  (And not just when Adam the pool boy stops by!)  

Have I told you about Adam the Pool Boy?  No?  

I told Twitter.  Hmmm!  

(Or did I mean, Mmmmmmmm!?)

* Do not click on the Mmmm link if you are easily offended or a virgin. *

Am I rambling today?  Even more than a random-catch-all type post would warrant?  Let's blame the new meds, okay?  I don't think they have a thing to do with it, but I can blame them for everything for a good six months or so.

Back to my skinny, and getting skinnier, fingers …

My wedding rings are a style which can't be sized smaller (or larger for that matter).  I've got fat to spare everywhere else on my body, but my too thin fingers are now even thinner.  

Go figure.

I got another email from a "well endowed man" last week.  He asked if I'd like to set up a "personal interview" with him to verify his well endowed-ness and then he typed a winking smiley face at the end of his email.  Why are men so preoccupied with their dicks?  And how many women really want a well hung man who types little smiley faces in his emails anyway?

Speaking of phallic shapes ….

I have a million hot dogs left over from our party last weekend.  If you live in South Orange County and you love hot dogs, please let me know.  Our family doesn't eat them more than once a year.  Even my chow-hound teen boys don't care for them.  Free hot dogs to the first South OC family to contact me!  (Sandi?  I'm thinking of you!  But the hot dogs are first come, first serve – so to speak!)

I'm apologizing to those of you who were looking for some of the wave photos from yesterday's post on my photo site.  The requested photos are up now!  So sorry!  (Camera button on my sidebar.)

I've been crazy busy lately.  You know, between the daily grocery runs, the medical appointments, a bunch of family stuff I can't yet blog about, falling asleep at inappropriate times and places, etc.  

And yet, I'm hoping to write a post from inside the Money Town Starbucks sometime in the next ten days.  That's right, I'm going to park myself in the Money Town Starbucks and write about whatever goes on around me.  Let's hope I don't fall asleep while I'm there.  I'd probably get arrested if I did.

Maybe there won't be anything to write about in Money Town that day …

But I sincerely doubt that will be the case.

There is ALWAYS something going on in Money Town.

© Twenty Four At Heart

15 Responses to “You’ve Been Dying to Know?”

  1. Karen

    LOL.. you’re a riot! Even heavily medicated. Hope you’re feeling relief soon, and Oh, do I know the FOOD DILEMNA!!!!

  2. Joanne

    I think money town Starbucks is the perfect place for TF’s first ever video-blog!! Do you have a cam on your laptop??? that would be so ultra cool!!!(‘cept you might have to whisper to keep from getting beat up or arrested!)

  3. di

    Can’t wait for the Starbucks Report! Sort of like Lois Lane does coffeeland.
    Di

  4. Tami

    You are hilarious. Congratulations on your 14 pounds! Thats a great accomplishment even if you have “skinnier” fingers now! ha ha I spewed my coffee when I read the necrophilia cross out. BWAHAHAHAHAHA Then there’s the virgin comment, the well endowed story, you are on quite a roll today. : )

  5. Jan

    CONGRATULATIONS on the weight loss. Mine? Has been like 6. But hey – it’s six less than I weighed 3 weeks ago.
    And I’m so glad I’m in such good company with my brain-deadedness today. (Yes, spell-checker, brain-deadedness is TOO a word.)

  6. Lorna Harris

    I can so relate to the feeding boys thing. My boys ask me what’s for dinner when we cycle to school. Drives me mad!

  7. Sandi

    While you are napping I will bring the kids over. They can consume your hotdogs and leave before you ever know they were there.
    You know we will eat your hotdogs anytime!

  8. Pam

    I loved today’s post and cracked up again about Mmmmmmm…. OMG you are hilarious! 🙂 Congrats on the weight loss too!

  9. Margie

    Since your ring can’t be sized, you might want to see your jeweler to see if they have, I don’t know what it is called, but its similar to a guard, but it fits inside the ring itself to make it smaller.

  10. Mike Krause

    Men are preoccupied with their dicks because they are just there all the time. It hangs. One walks. It rubs. Preoccupation. It’s worse, I imagine, if one is circumcised or prefers loose shorts or no shorts at all. I won’t go into detail. You get it. You asked.

  11. Karena

    Too funny, do stay on the meds though. they do help, haha
    I bet the hotdogs go fast! I have a Giveaway up on my site!
    Karena
    Art by Karena

  12. Maureen@IslandRoar

    Hey congrats on the weight loss, even the skinnier fingers. Careful of those rings! I’ve got a full house now too with all 3 home. I can’t seem to keep enough milk in the fridge.
    Good luck increasing the meds…

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