It's been awhile since I've shared a "24" moment with you.
You do know what a 24 moment is, don't you?
I seem to have a knack for humiliating myself in public as only few people can do. When I started seeing people on Twitter writing, "I just pulled a 24!" I knew I better stop writing about all my public embarrassments.
Oh my, I have really outdone myself this time.
In fact, I can honestly say I have never, never, ever (!!), been so embarrassed in my entire life.
Why am I sharing this, worst-ever, humiliation?
I think it is SO bad, the only way I can purge myself of the experience is by writing about it. If you're a writer, you will understand.
OK, then ….
On Sunday, I was at the races. You might recall from yesterday's post, I wore a long black dress.
On the drive down to San Diego County, Nike and I stopped at Starbucks so I could get a green iced tea. I was very thirsty. Green tea makes me need to pee a lot. I'm sorry to share this information with you, but it's critical to my embarrassment the story.
When we arrived at the race track, I made an immediate stop at the ladies room. It was there, I realized why my thong panties were so uncomfortable. The lace on them had unraveled and they were, literally, falling apart.
So, um, I ditched them.
Yes, I did.
There was no way I could keep them on, unraveling, all day long. I tossed them in the little trash can in the bathroom stall.
The exact thought that went through my head was, "No one will ever be able to tell, this dress is black as night and comes down to my ankles."
** WRONG **
About midday, Nike and I decided to roam around the track. I wanted to get some photos and Nike was checking out what seats she'd like to purchase tickets for next time she returns to the races. And so it was, we were wandering.
Suddenly Nike pointed out to me an outdoor deck, facing away from the track, where a lot of people were gathered.
"Look," she said, "You can get a great shot of the ocean view from there. You should go out and get some photos."
I walked out on the deck and began composing my shot. Nike wandered inside to check out the seats on that particular level of the grandstands.
With both hands on my camera, just as I was clicking the shutter, a huge gust of wind came and lifted my dress up over my head!
I wish I were joking, but I'm not!
I stood there, hands on my camera, bare assed and freshly brazilian waxed, for the whole world to see.
"Click" went the shutter.
My heart stopped as I realized what was happening and my hands immediately went to force my dress to its rightful spot.
"Now THAT was a nice shot!" exclaimed a man next to me.
(I swear to God, that is EXACTLY what he said!)
Nike later told me I came running around the corner, back into the building, at record speed. My face was forty shades of red and she stood there, incredulous, as I told her what happened.
"Oh my God, only you!" she laughed.
Is that true?
Can somebody out there please tell me this has happened to them before too?
Looking on the bright side, I guess it's a good thing I was just waxed.
I think it would have been worse if I was fuzzy.
© Twenty Four At Heart