If You’re Squeamish, Look Away

I promise not to blog endlessly about boring medical stuff, but I wanted to give you an update on yesterday's Car Accident Surgery #7.

First of all, I'm home – which is a good thing.  I'll be having nonstop doc appointments for the next few days though.

Second, I've got some photos for you and I was completely topless when they were taken.  How often does THAT happen?

(If the sight of boring, non-bloody, bandages makes you faint, look away.)


OK, so the above is a blurry topless photo of my back.  Let's pretend the photo is intentionally blurry for artistic effect.

I can't tell yet if the surgery was successful or not.  I won't know for about a week.  And yes, I am (!!!) hurting at this point.  The doc ended up doing more while he was digging around than originally expected.

On the positive side, today he will be programming the electrodes for the first time.  I've been told my pain level should decrease by the end of the day if all is working as hoped for.

In related news, I can't wear a bra for the indefinite future.  I'm also not allowed to drive or shower for a week!  I'm the sole adult taking care of my son right now so I have to do some driving. Also, I will find a way to clean every ounce of my body except what's covered with bandages.

I do have a few funny operating room incidents to share with you.  At one point, high on drugs, I might have informed my doc I wore my "granny panties" just for him.  His eyes widened in surprise.  He grinned and, acting very delighted, replied, "Why thank you!"

I'd like to say that was my most embarrassing moment from the surgery, but my fuzzy memories tell me, perhaps, it wasn't.  Alas, you'll have to wait for the rest – typing seems to take up far too much energy right now.


Do those wires look big to you?  They're exactly like the cord on a phone you plug into the wall … only THICKER.

Don't believe me?

Here's a closer look:


Yes, I'm being turned into an old fashioned telephone land line!

I'm sure I'll have a lot of dirty jokes about my wires and stimulators once I'm feeling better ….


If I move ahead to stage two of this process, the wires and chargers (different ones!) will be permanently implanted in my body.  It would be nice to walk around NOT looking like a telephone pole gone bad, don't ya think? 

I'm very tired.

And fuzzy brained.

I hope this post makes sense and there aren't too many typos.  (I'm honestly too exhausted to even run spell check.)

Thank you – each and every single one of you – for being so supportive and kind.  It really means a lot to me.  I have the greatest group of readers and Internet friends in the world.

Truly, you guys rock!!



© Twenty Four At Heart

30 Responses to “If You’re Squeamish, Look Away”

  1. Michelle

    So…..you can become your own internet server?……
    Hoping the pain decreases for you.

  2. unmitigated me (m.a.w.)

    Is this gonna be like Laurie on the Partridge Family? When she started hearing the radio through her braces? I always thought that Reuben guy was kind of creepy.

  3. Joanne

    thats what I was thinking! you could just plug yourself into your ethernet port and not have to use the keyboard!! You could be like HAL

  4. karen

    Holy crap!!…. seriously? THOSE WIRES ARE HUGE!!!????????????
    And I’m not helping, am I. Well.. I’m waiting to hear you feel so much less pain in the near future and that this is worth it.
    You’re adorable enough that you can get away with internet cables coming out of your back. Maybe you’ll get free wifi?
    Just kidding..hang in there, and FEEL BETTER!!!
    Why are you home alone this week, too????…..

  5. di

    OUCH! Looks like you could plug directly into your computer and upload photos from your boob. Your boob IS a secret camera, right? I thought so.

  6. WebSavvyMom

    –>You’re almost a cyborg now. I hear that’s *huge* in California.
    I hope you’re feeing better soon.

  7. Kristan

    LOL to some of the comments.
    Hey lady, congrats on coming through from another tough surgery. You are a champ! I really hope this one helps control your pain. Sending you my best!

  8. Tami

    Holy shit! Those wires are HUGE. I do agree that being a cyborg is an awesome thing. Hope your recovery is a fast one and this is a success!!

  9. Fragrant Liar

    So yeah, a whole new take on “workin’ the pole” here. This is some major surgery. I hope you feel better soon, girl.

  10. Pam

    Damn! It’s amazing that medical advances now allow full size extension cords and internet cables to be buried in your body. Those are huge!!
    Good luck with your recovery! I’ll be thinking of you.

  11. Kelly

    You are amazing woman. Absolutely amazing and a pillar of strength and inspiration.

  12. Lu@masmom

    Well I am now completely terrified of this surgery. Woman you are so hard core. I truly hope that this is the first step in an amazingly less painful life.

  13. Lisa

    Wow, you’re like BIONIC now! 😉 Seriously though, that’s a whole bunch of wires and bandages. I really hope it works for you! Get some rest and have a speedy recovery!

  14. Trina

    I really hope this helps you~~ for selfish reasons. My pain specialist has been trying to talk me into putting a stimulator like this into my back and I am terrified that since it will be in the same “sac” as my spinal cord that I will be paralized. He assuers me that wont happen, but who knows. If it works for you I am going for it though so keep us updated. You are in my prayers and I really do hope it works for you. Andy by the way I would love to come down to the OC anytime and drive you around!

  15. Amy_in_Stl

    Darn. Everybody took the good computer jokes! Did they warn you about not plugging the cable into random outlets? I’m just thinking that with all the drugs and my stupid curiosity I’d probably end up electocuting myself by plugging myself into the computer out of curiosity – or maybe the router. Thanks for sharing the pix.
    You should totally go as The Borg for Halloween!

  16. Lorna Harris

    Bionic Woman indeed…don’t remember her having bionic nipples though? Have to ask the Bionic Man about that.
    Glad to see you’re already blogging…good luck with the recovery.

  17. missy

    Agreed that all the funny internet jokes were taken by the east coasters and early risers! I still say one of the best parts of your blog and the creative comments. Wishing you a speedy recovery and seriously if you need a ride somewhere you know I am close by. Feel better.

  18. Jan

    So, you’re gonna be like the Bionic Woman when this is all over with? (I was going to say “Six Million Dollar Woman” but I think the the typical OC woman has topped that with plastic surgery alone…)
    Seriously, though, I am SO keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well with this!

  19. Momo Fali

    Oh my holy hell, I have seen a lot when it comes to surgical stuff, but I have NEVER seen anything like that. What if you get caught on something?!! Whatever you do, don’t let those wires snag!

  20. Redneck Mommy

    What the farcklenuts???
    I’m cringing for you. That cannot be comfortable.
    I thought Jumby having his thumbs sliced open was bad. You win at the gross.
    But I have every finger and toe I possess crossed that this will be successful for you and that you will have a pain free future ahead of you.

  21. Loralee

    Oh, man. You are one tough land line. 😉
    I am so sad to think about everything you have had to endure to get relief from pain. xoxoxoxoxo

  22. Michelle Pixie

    I truly hope this works for you!
    Some of the comments had me cracking up! Witty very witty! All I got was “ET Phone Home” when I looked at those cords but just think you are all ready for Halloween! I bet you win that costume contest. 😉

  23. Horiizzon

    That is sooo futuristic~ definitely cyborg!.. i hope it doesn’t connect with that horrid dial up connection squigglysqrinching noise!
    feel better soon 🙂

  24. Nancy P

    And Lindsay Wagner thought SHE was bionic! Seriously I hope hope hope this works for you. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

  25. Jane

    Holy crap, you can tweet through your boobs! You really ARE the bionic woman!

  26. Ginger

    I’m glad you are feeling well enough to get on the computer and update for all of us! I’ll echo what several others have said: you are one strong woman!


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